I couldn’t deny it. He was still buried somewhere inside my heart and if all these years of trying to forget the man hadn’t erased him, I knew nothing would.
“Never.” Lucas kissed a trail from my jaw to my cheek, whispering into my skin all the while.
“Going.” The delicate trace of his tongue over the shell of my ear heightened my heart beat to a dangerous level and my hands went to his chest. Need curled deep inside my belly as I pulled him closer, my mouth consumed by his in the next second.
An audible gasp left me, the feeling of his mouth on mine stopping my heart instantly.
Lucas.
Lucas.
Mine.
My soul was crying out for him as he crushed my mouth under his with the ravaging force that was the man himself. Roughly, he nipped at my lips for me to open to him, impatience radiating off his taut muscles as I felt each one of them with my fingertips. A strangled moan left me and he pulled my bottom lip through his teeth and sucked viciously, causing a sharp ping of arousal to center within my core. I only had a skirt to hide from the hands he had gripped fiercely over my hips and my desire for him rose at the knowledge that he was only a few measly inches away from the wet lips that begged for his touch.
“To.” Lucas wasted no time with me as he licked a wet path down the slope of my throat and nipped at the hot skin there. My panting breath and the rustle of our hungered hands were the only sounds that surrounded us.
“Let.” The hem of my blouse was tugged down and my shoulder was exposed.
“You. Go. Ever. Again. You got that?”
As his mouth made contact with my shoulder, both of his hands moved to the back of my thighs, urging me to wrap my legs around him.
I did, my arms securing around his neck as my eyes met his, our bodies crushed together and our labored breathing the only thing that separated us.
How did I ever think I would get over this man?
He was everything. Sinfully attractive. Intense. Honest to a fault. Protective as the very core of him.
Mine.
The thought came to me and as I watched his eyes clear and the warmth cascade over his gaze, I said the word that I felt with everything inside of me.
“Mine, Lucas.”
Relief spread through his expression, the warmth turning into something more profound as he dropped his head to my chest and buried his face between my breasts. As we stood there, another word fell from my lips, one I knew I needed the answer to for us to truly move on from what happened between us. Our past. His choice that had altered the course of our lives, forever.
I needed to know the truth behind it if I was ever going to be able to forgive him.
Is that even possible?
“Why?”
He looked at me with regret in his eyes and I told him to let me go. He was not going to tell me. I just wanted to know why. I deserved that much. But with this man, it was obvious I’d have to pull those answers from him. And even then, he may keep the true reason from me, out of fear that I’d be hurt by it.
I dropped my head in my hands and told myself that he wasn’t worth it.
That I was over Lucas fucking Jones.
That it didn’t matter if my heart still beat faster for him.
That it didn’t matter if he made me blush like a school girl.
That the sight of his pain, even now, was too much for me to take.
But even as those thoughts penetrated my mind, I knew they were all lies.
“Kel, look at me.”
I shook my head, turning away from him and stopping just shy of the door. It was as if he had a magnetic pull and I simply couldn’t open the door and leave him standing here. I couldn’t do it. As the palm of my hand pressed to the flat surface of my office’s door, I heard his rough exhale from behind me.
“Please, just look at me, Sweetheart. Please.”
The pleading tone of his voice was too much to ignore and closing my eyes, I turned and faced him.
I expected him to beg me once more to open my eyes.
At this point, I was being a bit stubborn. I knew this, but I’d avoid looking into those haunted eyes of his for as long as it took. Because when I looked at him, it hurt.
It’s not that it physically hurt me to look at him. He was everything I had wanted and I was afraid he still was. No, it hurt because looking at him now gave me the brightest hope. Inevitably, that hope would hurt me. I just didn’t want to hurt anymore.
My eyes opened on a mumbled curse coming from him and I blinked as I saw what was clouding his gaze.
With desperation pouring from the very essence of him, Lucas grabbed my face in his hands, shaking with the emotion that was consuming him. I had never seen him like this, so raw, so open, so scared. Gently, he tipped my face up to meet his intense gaze until my eyes were forced upon it.
“Do you think for one moment that I could have left your side if I saw any other way?”
Rubbing the pads of his fingers over my head, his fingers began to work magic on my scalp, massaging and kneading me until I let go of the door at my back and wrapped my arms around his waist yet again.
“You were my everything, Kaelyn. Fuck, you always have been.”
He wrapped both arms around me and spoke into the skin of my throat as our bodies molded together in our embrace.
“I was a ruined man. I didn’t know what I was doing. I didn’t have any idea what to do, but all I knew was that I had to protect you. Everything I did was to shield you from the pain I now see in your eyes. I’m so sorry, Sweetheart.”
I pressed my forehead to his at the confessions that spilled from his mouth, my heart squeezing in my chest with a mixture of craving for him and fear of what was to come.
Nothing made sense but the fact that he was here with me.
A thousand questions bounced off the walls of my mind, begging for answers, for the truth.
Why?
Why had he left?
Why couldn’t he stay with us?
Why?
Why hadn’t I been enough?
Why was he here now?
Why?
Why hadn’t I chased after him that day?
Why had I blindly trusted him as I had?
Why after all this time, couldn’t he tell me?
“L-Lucas.”
I didn’t know I was crying until he brushed the pads of his thumbs over my cheeks and muttered a curse, the warmth in his eyes causing my stomach to flip and my skin to heat.
“My gorgeous girl.”
Soft lips swept over each droplet as they fell down my face, his cool minty breath calming me as he took care of my messy face.
Once he was sure no more tears would come, his eyes penetrated mine and my hands fell around his face as I just looked at him. He was so beautiful, it still stopped my heart.
“You were every dream I had ever had all wrapped into one. I wish to God I could go back in time and fix the choice I made that day, but I can’t. All I can do is try to prove to you that I’m here, right here, and I swear to you . . .”
He paused and his finger wrapped around the third finger on my left hand. We both looked down to where our skin met and it was there, the imprint that was left after I had taken my ring off. The dark outline of the ring he had given me was right there for him to see and I let him. It was yet another scar that he had left me with.
“Never.”
It was just one word, but it held a lifetime of promise.
The moment the door to my office closed behind him, I let out a heavy breath.
I had wanted to push him away, but being in his presence again had changed things entirely.
Clenching my hands in my hair, I followed him back into the café and to the day ahead.
Her blonde hair swept over her back as she pulled it to the side and asked the customer in front of her for his order, those big honey eyes lit up with kindness and interest. My eyes feasted
on the image of her, doing what she loved. Making the people around her happy was my girl’s passion. Whether that was here, on the street, or at home with our beautiful little girls, the warmth she exuded was almost blinding. I rubbed my fingers over the necklace I wore under the thin tee. It was a simple chain from which my wedding ring hung. I hadn’t been able to part with it in the aftermath of our separation and I still couldn’t. It was a part of me because Kaelyn was.
Always had been.
Always fucking would be.
The line in the cafe dwindled rather quickly, the sweet tones of my girl’s voice motivating each customer to move on to Kinsley, who stood at the register just next to her. I had only met her a few times, but I could see that craving for life, for adventure, for more in her. She was young, yet the darkness in her blue eyes told me she had a hard life. The strength within each of these women was so clear in their faces, the course they had lived so different.
My thoughts of the other woman left me completely as my blood heated and the hairs at the back of my neck lifted in awareness of my girl’s presence. A black apron covered her and her goddamn gorgeous face spread with a welcoming smile as patrons filtered in and out of the café.
She was so fucking beautiful. My chest was punctured by the force of her light and I knew only she could cause these feelings in me. No one had ever come close to Kaelyn Anne Jones.
As I blinked lazily and unashamedly drank in the vision of her, I noticed her holding a white mug as she approached me. Her teeth sunk into her lush bottom lip and my jeans strained a bit too tightly.
I wanted her.
Craved.
Needed.
The desire for her heated my veins, calmed my demons, and revved my heart into overdrive.
I didn’t know how it was possible to want her this much.
I wished I knew how to curb the pull between us, but it would be frivolous to try.
Of that I was sure as I continued to watch her.
A slight smile parted her lips and a single strand of her golden blonde hair fell from the clip that held her locks in place. Frowning, she swept the piece behind her ear and set the steaming mug in front of me.
A wide grin spread over my face as I looked down to the beverage she had given me.
Lowering my nose to the lip of the cup, I inhaled the sweet scent of peppermint and milk chocolate.
She remembered my fucking latte. Can she be any more perfect?
“Sweetheart.”
A deep blush covered her cheeks as I moved my hand to hers that still held the mug for me. Taking it from her, I shook my head in disbelief.
“You used to love when I brought you these.”
“You remembered.”
Blinking quickly, Kaelyn nodded as she made a sad attempt of wiping down my table. It was already clean, but I didn’t say a word, knowing how nervous I made her.
More than anything, I wanted her to trust me again.
I couldn’t expect that, though because I hadn’t told her the truth.
I wasn’t sure I ever would.
I needed to protect her.
“Lucas, I haven’t forgotten. I don’t think I ever could. You were the love of my life.”
My hands formed into fists underneath the table and I had to fight the urge to tell her that there was no past tense with us. We were it. Everything I was, was because of her. I was the man I was because of the love she had given me, the confidence she always had in me, the warmth that she spread over me from the first moment we met—it was all for her. I wanted to be that for her too. Her savior, her light, her protector, her everything. And I would be, no matter what it took.
I would be her everything again.
Standing to my full height, I pressed my thumb to her chin and lifted her gaze to mine so I could look her in those gorgeous eyes of hers.
Brown and honey.
“Have dinner with me.”
The words fell out of my mouth before I had the sense to stop them. I needed more of her. I needed everything I could get.
Doubt clouded her eyes then and she tried to look away from me.
“You have a break soon, right?”
Nodding, a sigh left her lush lips as if she could feel her resistance to me weakening.
“I don’t know if I should, though. Kinsley will be by herself.”
“Oh, no she won’t!”
The raspy voice that came from behind me belonged to Kaelyn’s best friend, Meghan.
“Freddie asked if I could cover his shift today. Go.”
Turning away from me, Kaelyn was already shaking her head.
“No, you’ve already worked six days . . .”
“And one of those days I was training. I am fine, Kel. Go have dinner. Take the rest of the night off, Kinsley and I will be perfectly fine.”
They hugged briefly and I heard Kaelyn whisper in Meghan’s ear.
“I’ll go, but I’ll come back to close with you all. Okay?”
“Whatever you say, sweet cheeks!”
A bellowing laugh left me and my girl narrowed her eyes at me.
“Somethings never change, huh?”
Glaring at me as I led her outside, she asked me, “What is that supposed to mean?”
“You love to keep busy, is all. You always have.”
Nodding, she smiled, probably because of my memory of her.
I hadn’t forgotten a thing about her. Not one.
“I do.”
She was quiet as I led her to where I had parked my Harley, our only contact being my hand resting over the small of her slender back. As we stepped beside it, I realized this was the first time she’d seen it since I had been back.
“You still have your Harley,” she whispered, almost to herself.
I nodded, turning her within my arms so I could look into her honey eyes.
She had loved riding with me back when we were just teens, but things were different now.
If she didn’t like the bike or the danger it symbolized, it would be gone.
Nothing was worth her worry anymore.
I wanted her happy, truly happy.
That meant putting her needs, no matter what they came to be, over my own.
“Are you okay with this?”
As if out of instinct, my hands fell to grip her waist, my eyes roaming over her face for even a hint of hesitation. All I saw was excitement.
“I am so okay with this!”
I gently pulled the onyx colored motorcycle helmet over her head and fastened the straps into place under her chin. The shy smile she gave me caused the lingering worry for her to vanish.
She trusted me. Maybe not entirely, but in this moment, she trusted me.
The sound of the bike’s motor caused me to glance back at the beauty that sat patiently behind me. I could feel her eyes on me, watching me, and I loved every second of it. Sliding one hand to each of her knees that were surrounding my hips, I urged her to move closer.
“Wrap your arms around me, Sweetheart.”
The glimmer of warmth in her eyes spread like wildfire as she did just that, her arms grasping me around my stomach. I savored the gentle press of her cheek against my leathers. I savored the fierce hold she kept on me as I rode down the small street. The street led to the center of the shopping square and a familiar deli that I frequented a lot since moving here.
There had been an almost identical sort of place back home in Chicago and being there always gave me a sense of home. I wanted that for my girl, too.
“Where are we going?” she murmured, her voice raspy next to my ear.
I leaned into her just enough for her to feel the shift of our bodies. My hands clenched tightly to the handlebars as I made a sharp turn near the place I’d chosen for our dinner.
“A place I come often. But if you don’t like it, we can go somewhere else.”
I felt her nod as I turned off the engine of my Harley and waited until
she moved back to dismount. I lifted her gently off the seat and set her on the sidewalk.
Our hands linked together as she looked up at me, those big honey eyes sparkling with heat.
She would never admit it, but I just made her want me even more.
I had lifted her for her own safety, but if it helped our connection I sure as hell wasn’t going to fight it.
“Ready, Sweetheart?”
She nodded and I gripped her hand just a bit tighter as we neared Ned’s Deli, my gut tightening with nerves the closer we got. It was only a sandwich shop, but something told me that if she didn’t see the resemblance this place had to our old hangout spot from when we were kids, it would mean something.
We’d always had a connection, but on the late nights we spent in those booths, we grew into the best of friends. That meant so much to me, even now.
Opening the door, I heard her gasp.
Kaelyn rushed past me, her eyes widening as her gaze roamed the interior of the building. I could see her eyes, filled with joy and I drank in every second of it.
She got it.
“Luke, is this-”
“No, it’s not Harriett’s, but it sure does look like it, doesn’t it?”
Moving back to my side, my girl surprised me when she threw her arms around me and hugged me something fierce. My arms came around her instantly and I lifted her against me to prolong our hold.
“Thank you,” she whispered.
Blinking, she pulled back to look at me, her gaze bright with happiness.
“I didn’t know how much I missed it until now. Home.”
Dipping my mouth to her forehead, I didn’t let go of her just yet.
“I miss it, too, Sweetheart.”
Nodding, I could feel the smile on her face as she rested her cheek against mine.
The sound of a rather loud growl had me letting her go and pulling her toward the nearest booth.
“I guess I’m hungry.”
Breaking Lucas (Trinity series Book 2) Page 15