I stare at my phone screen. I’ve been trying to reach Grey ever since yesterday, but he hasn’t returned any of my many texts or calls. I hate this. We were doing so well, and I just had to ruin it. I didn’t mean to, though. He’s told me their relationship wasn’t the best, but I truly believe it can be repaired. A mother doesn’t just forget her child or stop loving them. They haven’t seen each other in five years. That’s a long time. A long enough time to make up.
“Do you guys think I’m wrong?” I ask Jaimie and Julia without looking up. I turn off my phone’s screen and look up. I find them each looking me up and down with weird looks.
“Are you referencing to your hair being over-due for a good wash, or your over-coverage of your actually fantastic cleavage?” Jaimie asks. I gape at her and cross my arms over my chest, my cheeks flaming under her critical stare.
“I didn’t mean it like that—” I start to say, offended. My hair isn’t that bad…I want to put a hand to it, but, deep down, I know it’s true.
“Or are you talking about your dull personality?” Julia asks, and I gasp. She waves a hand at me and rolls her eyes. “I’m not saying you’re dry-dry, not as much as your hair…eh, maybe, but, like, not much going on…there.” She gestures toward me, and I roll my eyes. These two can be cruel.
“I didn’t mean anything with my personality or my appearance,” I say, annoyed, and they raise their hands in defense. I lean against the wall behind me and put the history textbook in my lap to the side. I was studying, but I can’t really focus right now. “I meant with…well, Grey and his mother have a…complicated…a bad history. She threw him out when he was sixteen, blaming him for—” I stop myself, thinking that’s too much to divulge. “Long story short, they haven’t talked or seen each other in five years. And I suggested he and I visit her for Thanksgiving, but he flipped out on me and hasn’t spoken to me since.”
They stare at me with puzzled looks.
“Don’t jump in all at once,” I say sarcastically.
“What are you asking here?” Julia pipes up. “It sounds pretty cut and dried; he resents her, and she’s probably still holding a grudge. If he hasn’t gone to see her or she hasn’t reached out to him, I think it’s pretty clear to see that there’s no reuniting them.”
“Kind of agreeing with her on this one.” Jaimie nods.
“But she’s had enough time to get over what happened. Plus, I was the mediator in high school. I mended plenty of relationships in my time. I’m sure if I had the chance, I could do the same for them,” I say quite proudly.
“They aren’t two girlfriends fighting over the same boy,” Julia says, her tone incredulous.
“Oh, that happened with me.” Jaimie flashes her hair over her shoulder and winks at me. “Jenny lost that battle. But who the hell wears flip-flops, stares at my man, and doesn’t expect to get smacked down? You know?” She twirls a piece of her hair with an incredulous expression.
Julia and I glance at each other, shake our heads, and simultaneously say, “No, we don’t.”
Jaimie rolls her eyes. “The point is, I don’t think you should really force this. It’ll only drive him away further than it has already.”
“I have to at least try.” It would kill me if Grey holds so much rage toward his mother, possibly his only family left. “I think he’s at the boxing gym. I can try to convince him again.”
Jaimie sighs. “I can drive you over there.” She looks down at the shiny silver watch clasped around her wrist. “I have a hair appointment pretty soon, and it’s over there. While I get more volume, you two can bang it out or whatever.” I look over at her devilish smile and nervously laugh.
“We aren’t banging anything.” I look at her like she’s lost her mind. She shrugs and stands, playing and fluffing her hair using the mirror on the wall.
“Sure.” She flashes me a look over her shoulder. She thinks I’m lying?
“I’m not lying,” I say in defense.
She chuckles and points the end of her lip-gloss applier at me and says, “Sure.”
***
I clasp my pea coat tighter around my stomach, but it does nothing to block out the cold from coating my skin. The hairs on the back of my neck rise because of the blustery wind, and my cheeks are flushed hot. It’s freezing and it’s only November. I can only imagine how worse it’ll be in December. Despite the cold, I walk against the wind. I’m a few feet away from the shop. Jaimie dropped me off a few minutes ago to get her hair done. I might get mine done too, depending on how this ends, of course…
I quickly enter the gym and rub my hands together. I push back the dark hoodie that’s attached to my coat and look around. Although it’s nearing three in the afternoon, there are lots of men milling around in boxing gloves and fighting each other.
I blush when I get a few skeptical stares from a group of sweaty men passing by. One gives me a mocking whistle, and I cross my arms over my chest, uncomfortable. I know I look like a sore thumb, dressed in a frost-covered pea coat and my flushed cheeks, unlike the brolic men walking around, shirtless and scarred.
“Hey, Olivia. What are you doing here?” I turn to see David beaming down at me. He is sweaty and subtly catching his breath. His blue eyes nearly pierce through me as I smile and look around.
“I’m looking for Grey…is he here?” I ask, probably sounding like a dope. The last time he saw Grey and me, I was practically naked in his kitchen, and now here I am asking for him like he’s been ignoring me, which he has been doing all day. Can you say pathetic?
“Yeah, he’s over there training Mila,” he says matter-of-factly, throwing a thumb over his left shoulder.
Mila? Sounds female…oh, don’t be that girl, Liv, my subconscious warns me.
“Since when does he train people?” I ask with a little, kind of nervous, laugh.
He shrugs and quickly eyes me. “Not often, but she’s a special client of his.”
“Oh, is she?” I’m sure I look insane with how wide I am smiling. Tone it down, girl. I drop my smile in the slightest and nod. “Well, thank you for telling me where he is. I’ll see you around.”
We part ways, and I walk toward Grey and Mila. I ignore the same weirded-out stares I received when I first came in and anxiously fidget with my charm bracelet. He’s just such a mad person. I know he won’t accept easily, but maybe he’ll see that I only mean well. If I can’t have a healthy relationship with my mother, then I want him to at least have one with his. I gave up mine for him, not that I regret it or anything; I love him, and I’d like to think that his just made a spur of the moment decision that she regrets to this day.
I end up in the part of the gym where there are punching dummies and plenty of space. I look around and put on a tight smile, finding Grey and this Mila character. He is behind her, holding her hips as she drives her fist into the dummy’s face, once, twice, three times before Grey nods and appraises her.
“Nice work, Mila,” he says and continues off into whispers I can’t hear. She laughs, and I swear I feel my blood spike like little boiling armies going at it inside my veins. I clear my throat, but he keeps talking. I clear my throat louder, and they both turn to look at me. She’s more confused than me.
“Can I talk to you, please?” I nod to Grey, and he shrugs.
“I’m a little busy at the moment,” he says with a cocky smirk and turns back to her, gripping her hips.
“Fine. I guess I can use a little training too.” I step back, and he looks at me with a scowl when I holler, “Oh, David!” I know it’s tacky to fight fire with fire, but I can’t help but enjoy the look of killer instinct that spreads over his face at the thought of another guy touching me, even if he and I both know it’d mean nothing. David’s more of a friend than anything, and he’ll never be anything more.
He whispers something to the dark-haired girl, and she nods. He waltzes over to me, and it takes everything in me to not drool at the sight of him. Shirtless, sweaty, and clad in basketball shorts,
black gloves on his hands, he is dressed to make me melt. But I hold my ground and cross my arms.
“What are you doing here?” he asks with a frown.
“I wanted to talk to you,” I tell him and cross my arms. “Why have you been ignoring me all day? I’ve been worried about you.”
“I’ve been training,” he says, looking away as if annoyed. “I have a fight tonight, and I’ve been helping Mila here train.” He stops and cocks an eyebrow. “That is before you stepped in.”
“I saw that,” I mumble under my breath.
He catches my eye and smiles. “Is that jealousy I hear?” He playfully pokes at my stomach—I roll my eyes and slap his hand away.
“No.” Great, he’s getting me off track. “Grey, we have to discuss Thanksgiving—”
He groans and cuts me off. “What is there to talk about? I don’t want to visit my psychotic mother. I think the conversation’s pretty much over, don’t you think?”
“No, I don’t think so,” I say. “Don’t you think five years is more than enough time to hold a grudge against your mother?”
“Come back to me in five years after you stop talking to your mother, who is actually the devil,” he spits.
“Don’t you think she feels bad for what she did?”
“I couldn’t give a fuck, honestly.” He shrugs. “Listen, just because you can’t fix the relationship you broke with your mother doesn’t mean you can meddle with mine. So just leave it alone, okay? Just go. There’s no use in you being here. I have to get back to important things.”
“Grey, come on—”
“Why don’t you just fuck off? I said no, Liv. Go and play dress up for your mother or something.” He walks away, leaving me stunned and hurt.
“Grey!” I call after him, but he brushes past the attractive girl and walks through a steel door. I almost run after him, but I know there’s no use. He’s dead set on not going. Why does he have to be so goddamn stubborn?
I curse under my breath before turning on my heels and running out of the gym. The cold hits me like a brick wall. Now it’s official—I’m going to be alone for Thanksgiving. I swore off my mother, he won’t even try with his, and now he won’t talk to me. Just fucking perfect.
I honestly don’t know what to do at this point.
I pull out my phone to call Jaimie and tell her I’ll take the bus back to campus when a familiar blue car pulls up in front of me. The car honks at me, at least I think it was directed at me. I put my phone down and find Sam looking at me with a smile. I shiver, thinking about the slight fear he instilled in me the last time I saw him.
“Need a lift?” he asks, leaning over the rolled-down window, head tilted.
I look around and think about saying no, just because I’ve become hesitant with him, but decide not to go with walking and taking the bus. It’s somehow gotten ten times colder since five minutes ago.
“Sure. Thank you, Sam.” I give him a smile, and he watches as I round the car and slip into the passenger side.
Chapter Twelve
I stare at the words I’ve written with disgust. I’ve been working on this paper for my entry into the program that would jumpstart my psychology career for two months now. I’ve been adding information and updating my project each time I got a random burst of ideas. Ms. James informed me that if I wanted to get the internship for the summer, I’d have to finish it by the end of the semester. Meaning I only have one month left to finish the paper, but it feels like I don’t have enough time in the world. Even if I write a hundred more pages, I don’t have the essential part, and it’s making me lose my mind.
I throw the book across the room in rage and cup my hands over my face. I need a break. I need Mason. I haven’t talked to him in so long, and it’s killing me. I’m such a horrible friend. I’ve just been so caught up in Grey that I haven’t been able to see past him.
I call up Mason and ask him to come over. He asks if I’m okay, but I just ask him to come and open the door. He lives a few doors down, so he’ll be here any second. By the time I sit down, he enters and sits on the bed next to me.
“You okay?” he asks, concerned. “Is it Grey?”
“No, well, maybe. I don’t know. He just won’t let me in, and it’s absolutely frustrating.” I glance at him and assess his contemplative expression. If I can’t find out anymore from Grey, then I can try through him. “How do you really know Grey?”
He looks away and sighs. “Why do you want to know so badly?”
“Because it feels like I’m in love with a ghost,” I admit, tugging at a charm on my wrist. But it is unfortunately true. I feel as though I know nothing about him. Like we’re not authentic in the slightest. And I want to know I haven’t fallen for a ghost in a shell.
“Love?” he croaks, and I look at his fallen face. He looks shot. Maybe because he hates Grey so much and is afraid I’ll end up like Rose?
“If you’re just going to tell me how I need to be careful or bash him, then can you please go? Because I don’t need that right now.” I sound pathetic as I sniffle and wipe a tear from my cheek. I didn’t even feel it form in my eyes.
He’s silent before he says, “Rose is my sister.”
What?
I snap my head at him and feel my heart jump an extra beat. “Really?” I ask, dumbfounded. I thought maybe they both liked her and that’s why they are always ready to rip each other’s heads off. But this, her being his sister, makes more sense. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
He shrugs and looks off at the wall, deep in thought. “I didn’t think I had to…He hurt her beyond words; I’m afraid he’ll do the same to you.” His gaze falls onto me, and he grips my hands. “But I honestly don’t think he will. There’s been a shift in him, and unexpectedly for the better. He’s different when he’s around you. But I can’t just let that cloud what he’s done.”
“And what has he done?” I grip his hand back, and he lets out a winded breath. “I feel like I’m losing my mind, Mason. None of this makes sense, but it can if someone tells me.” More tears escape, and he lunges forward, wrapping his arms around me. “He won’t tell me, but maybe you can. I’ve practically fallen for a fucking stranger.”
“I’m sorry, but I can’t.” I push him away, but he grabs my hand and cries out, “I promised I wouldn’t tell. Rose told me not to!”
“Just leave! If you were my friend, you’d tell me!” I shout, and he freezes. My heart is racing against my throat. “I said to leave, Mason!” I scream louder this time, and the door slams open.
Grey storms in and goes for Mason, his eyes bloodshot and his attire rugged. He’s drunk. I stand and push him against a wall.
“What the fuck is he doing in here?” he shouts.
“Liv—” Mason touches my arm, but I jolt away, still clutching Grey’s shirt.
“Leave, Mason!” I close my eyes and fall into Grey’s chest. This doesn’t feel right. I shouldn’t be telling him to leave. He’s been there for me and consoled me after Grey hurt me. Yet I’m holding Grey and yelling at my best friend. What the hell is going on with me?
After hearing the door shut, I push off of Grey, but he pulls me back in and grapples my wrists in his hands. His eyes burn bright, and he bares his teeth at me.
“Let go of me, Grey!” I try to release myself from him, but he just grips tighter until I’ve had enough, and I scream, “You’re hurting me! And not only emotionally, but physically!” He once told me he’d never hurt me again, but here he is doing just that.
Something snaps behind his eyes, and he loosens his hold. I roll my eyes in annoyance, fall back onto my bed, and stare at the ceiling.
“What are you even doing here?” I ask. He’s the one who blew up at me and told me to leave. So why is he here in my dorm room? And drunk on top of everything.
“I wanted to apologize for flipping out earlier,” he says. I lean on my elbows to give him a look of disbelief.
“Really?” Why am I so surprised he’d come after me? He
’s done it many times before. He’s a master at it.
“Yes, really. I even chased after you after I stormed off to cool down. But guess what I saw when I exited the gym?” he asks sarcastically and leans against the door with his arms crossed. “You getting in Sam’s fucking car.” His eyes slice through me, and I look away from him.
“It wasn’t like what you’re thinking,” I tell him, fiddling with my charms. “He was just giving me a ride back.”
“And why do you think he did that?” He sounds accusatory, but he has no reason to accuse me of anything.
But I shrug and answer anyway. “Because he’s a nice person. A little shifty, but nice nonetheless.”
“Wrong.” He laughs and stalks over to me, looming over me like a dark entity. “He’s using you to mess with me. Didn’t I tell you to stay away from him?”
“No, you’re wrong, Grey.”
“He’s a bad guy, Liv! If you weren’t so fucking nice and gullible, you’d see it!”
“He hasn’t shown me that he’s a bad guy, so how am I supposed to know? I know I can’t just take your word for it because you won’t tell me why!” I grow angrier each second that we spend fighting. “Just like you won’t tell me why you won’t contact your mother or give her a chance!”
He groans and grips his hair like he’s close to exploding in fury. “You’re bringing that shit up again? Why can’t you just mind your own fucking business, Olivia?” he screams and shakes his hands at me.
“Because you won’t let me get to know about you. I feel like we’re just going around in circles, and it can be avoided if you let me in more.”
“You don’t understand!” he screams, clearly frustrated.
“Then enlighten me!” I grab his hands and pull him down onto the bed. He faces the floor, but he needs to see how badly I want to know. I don’t just love him for how great he makes me feel or because he’s some sort of project; it’s because I care for him deeply. More than I ever thought I would. And for us to actually work, I have to know more.
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