by Kasey Belle
Cathy wasn’t sure what she was missing. She looked at Kelly and asked, “My queen?”
Kelly rubbed her hands together and stated with glee, “My turn to tell on the human. I wasn’t there, mind you. However, I got a firsthand account from Traynor. When Declan and Cade first introduced Fiona, as their mate, to a few members of the pack, she got a little touchy about her new title. Calling the Alpha Mate, Queen or Alpha Fem, is a sign of respect.” Kelly narrowed her eyes playfully at Fiona. “Fee’s uncomfortable with titles that don’t double as curse words. You can call her, Ms. Bitch, all day long, but use the Q-word?” Kelly shook her head and sighed, in feigned disappointment. “She threatens to cunja you. So sad.”
Cathy eyed Fiona speculatively. Cathy held her hands out in front of her and made an L-seven frame with her fingers. Cathy peered through boxed opening. “Hm. I think I can see it. You holding a teacup with your pinkie out, eating cucumber sandwiches, referring to yourself as ‘we’. Yeah, I can totally see that.”
Fiona grabbed a throw pillow and tossed it, at Cathy’s head.
Kelly continued, “To answer your question, Cathy, I’m extremely happy that my son found his mate and partner. It’s a miracle. He found his missing pieces, the ones the Fates deemed as his. Also, Jay was able to unlock his abilities, because they found Luke. My father was an omega. His gift didn’t pass to me or my siblings, and we wondered which one of our children received it. An omega is very special to the pack as you witnessed. What they can do is amazing. Packs like this one, protect the omega. They see them as gifts and cherish their abilities. The younger an omega is, when he gains his abilities, the better. Jay will have control over them, by time he reaches adulthood. Jay, Luke, and Emma Grace will always be together. They will never be lonely or feel left out, like children often due. They will always have someone who accepts them, for who they are.”
Cathy wasn’t so sure about all that yet, however, it did sound awesome. “I want Luke happy.”
Kelly placed her hand over Cathy’s. “That’s all, a mother can ask for.”
“And that horny teenage boys don’t get handsy, with their daughter, or that there isn’t a fourth,” Fiona retorted, “But, the happiness thing is good, too. I guess.”
They were still laughing at Fiona’s well-timed response when an excited Emma Grace ran into the room and rushed up to Fiona, holding up a sandwich. “Look, Mommy. Carly made me a BLT.” Emma Grace waved it in her mother’s face. Cathy watched in horror as Fiona paled, slapped her hand over her mouth, and ran from the room.
“Mommy?” Emma Grace’s lower lip trembled. “What’s wrong with Mommy?”
Shelly started to hand Lily to Amelia, “I’ve got it, Shelly, don’t disturb Lily.” Amelia jumped up and rushed after Fiona.
Cathy pulled Emma Grace into her lap and consoled the teary eyed little girl. “I’m not sure what’s wrong with your mommy, but I’m sure she’s gonna be okay.” Cathy had a niggling suspicion, she knew what was wrong. Damn it! She prayed she was wrong.
“Maybe, she’s got a tummy ache?”
“Maybe. You want to sit here with me while you finish your sandwich?”
“Yes, please.”
Fifteen minutes later, Fiona was back, looking a little worse for wear. Keeping her distance, she ran her eyes over Emma Grace. Cathy assumed Fiona was looking for the object that started all the drama. Fiona’s shoulders relaxed when she saw Emma Grace no longer possessed the sandwich.
“Mommy! Are you okay?”
Wearing a brittle smile, Fee walked over, sat down next to Emma Grace, and pulled her into her lap. “Mommy’s fine.”
“Does your tummy hurted?”
“Not hurt exactly, I just felt a little sick, but I’m fine now.” She kissed the top of Emma Grace’s curly haired head. “Why don’t you go see if Carly will take you outside to the swings.”
“Okay!” Emma Grace wrapped her arms around Fiona’s neck and kissed her cheek. “I’m glad you feel better now, Mommy.”
Fiona sighed heavily after Emma Grace left the room. She turned her attention to the room. “Surprise! I’m pregnant. Not that it’s a surprise to any of you, wolves.”
Shelly clapped and jumped up and down before rushing over to hug her best friend. “I knew it. Bacon did that to me too, remember? I’m going to kill Max for not telling me.”
Cathy plastered on a smile, she didn’t feel. What had she done?
On the way back to the pack house, Cathy followed the trail, that ran alongside the ranch’s section of Copper Creek. This morning was amazing. It had been a long time since she had a bunch of girlfriends. Stacy didn’t count. She was family. Laura didn’t either because they shared a similar past. The women in the pack held no real connection to her, but they treated her as if she were one of the group, as if they had been friends for years. All thoughts of Bud Latimer were swept from her mind this morning, by their laughter, teasing conversations, and kindness. Until, Fiona told them she was pregnant. The danger Cathy was in, the danger she’d put all of them in, came crashing back down on her.
The longer Cathy walked, the angrier, at herself, she became. Jesus, what was she going to do? Fiona was pregnant. Cathy couldn’t stay here. How could she have been so selfish? Jamie could have called in a few favors and hid her, or checked her into a hotel in the middle of Nowhere, USA. But that wasn’t what Cathy wanted. No, she had to go running to Fiona, because she didn’t want to be alone, face him alone. Instead of thinking where can I hide? Cathy should have been thinking, what if, Bud found her and harmed Fiona?? What if, Bud took his rage out on Emma Grace? Now she could add, what if, Fiona lost her baby?
She and Luke would leave tonight after everyone was in bed. All she had to do was figure out how to leave, without one of them following her. Without Paul following her or locking her up. She knew he would do it, to protect, even from her from herself. It’s what any good sheriff would do. Yeah, and the fact that he’s your mate has nothing to do with it. All that mate stuff wouldn’t matter if she could make him hate her. If she could convince him, she wasn’t worth it. He would tell the others. She almost doubled over, as pain sliced through her belly, at the thought of losing him, them, she corrected, any of them.
A plan formed in her mind as she closed the distance to the pack house. She would tell him, the kind of life he wanted, wasn’t for her. He wanted permanent, and she didn’t do permanent. He wanted a sub. She would never be at another man’s mercy, again. He wanted her as his mate, and that would probably lead to marriage. She sure as shit wasn’t doing that, again. Yes, that’s it. He was asking too much from her. He was asking things, she couldn’t and wouldn’t give.
Cathy walked up the back deck steps, to the double French doors that opened, into the kitchen. She placed her palm on her abdomen and tried to calm her churning stomach. She gathered her resolve. She didn’t want this. She didn’t want him. She didn’t need them. She could do this. She had to do this.
She went in search of Luke. Unfortunately, she found him sound asleep on the couch, with Paul. Her resolve faltered at the sight the two of them made. The scene before her was something she wished for, all those years ago. A wish she thought she would fulfill with Bud. Luke’s head on Paul’s thigh, Paul with a protective arm around her boy’s shoulder, and both of them looking peaceful.
Paul’s head tilted to the side as he studied her. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.”
He leaned back and spread his arms out on the back of the sofa. “Why are you mad?”
“What do you mean?”
“I’m not going to dignify that with a response. We both know what I mean.” He crossed his arms over his wide chest. His biceps bulged beneath his T-shirt sleeves. “Your face is paler than normal and your hands are shaking. I can feel and smell the fear and anger emanating from you.”
Shit! Cathy crossed her arms over her chest, mimicking his pose. “Why can’t you leave it alone? Is this what it’s going to be like? If, I accept you as
my mate. You always telling me how I feel because you can smell my emotions. Always demanding I talk to you? I won’t ever have any privacy.”
“Get used to it, kitten. I am your mate. Your well-being is my top priority. Now, answer me,” he demanded.
She hissed, “You are such an… an… ass.”
“I certainly can be, so I won’t deny that.” Paul gently removed Luke’s head from his lap and rose to his feet. The way his muscles rippled, as he moved towards her, made her blood sing. Was it hot in here?
He stood a foot from her, hands on his hips, and his voice cool. “I’m waiting.”
This was not working out like she planned. Why couldn’t he get angry and tell her to stop being a bitch? It would make this so much easier. It would be the proof she needed that this whole mate thing wasn’t for her. But no, he had to be all calm and rational. Ass! Cathy threw her hands up and stomped out of the room.
Paul stopped her with a gentle hand on her forearm before she ascended the stairs. He turned her to face him, his eyebrows furrowed, and his jaw set in determination. “Tell me what happened. You were fine earlier.”
“How do you know that? You weren’t here.”
“I asked. Why are you angry?”
She blurted out the question, she swore, she would never ask out loud. Obviously, her mouth never got that memo. “Why do you want me?”
“You’re my mate.”
“So, it’s some kind of magic scent thing? That’s the only reason?”
“I want every part of you, including your scent and whatever this is.” He waved his hand between them. “Why are you angry?”
Because my life sucks. Because my ex-husband wants to kill me. Because I want so much, but I will never have it. “Why would the Fates pick me for you? I don’t live a charmed life. I don’t have hundreds of adoring family members. I’m a nobody. I’m damaged and… fat! I mean look at you!” Cathy waved her hand in a sweeping motion, up and down his delectable body.
He growled and moved towards her, instinct had her backing up. She stopped when her foot hit the bottom step, but Paul kept moving towards her. It shocked her when Paul grabbed her and cradled her, in his arms. She flung her arms around his shoulders, afraid he would drop her. He held her tight, to his chest.
He sighed and said, “That’s better.”
“Paul, put me down. I am far too heavy for you to carry around like a child. You are going to throw your back out or get a hernia or something.”
He growled, again. When was she ever going to learn to keep her mouth shut? She instinctively knew he wouldn’t hurt her. If she thought for a minute, it was a possibility, she would be fighting like a wild cat, to get free. She looked into his eyes and saw anger, indignation, and something else she couldn’t name. She lowered her eyes, unable to hold her gaze any longer.
Paul didn’t say a word. He carried her up the stairs, to her bedroom. His silence was unnerving. He sat on the side of the bed and had her flipped over his lap before she could even utter a protest or fight off his actions.
“I warned you did I not? I said I wouldn’t tolerate you speaking badly about yourself. Remember?”
He moaned as he ran his hand over her jean clad ass. “Fuck, that’s nice.”
She should be fighting him. You’re intrigued. You want to see what a real Dom is like. She mentally rolled her eyes. Her inner vixen was a freaking know-it-all.
Paul rained five hard smacks down on her ass.
Goddamn, that stung! Fuck her! The jeans she wore did little to offer protection, from his promised punishment. Next thing she knew she, he flipped her upright. She straddled his lap and looked into his angry eyes. She swallowed loudly. He gripped her hips.
“I know where you got this idea that you are less than perfect, but it ends now. You are my mate and I will not share you with anyone, not even the voices in your head. You are perfect. I love your curves. Hell, I want to get out my camera and have you pose like a fifties pin-up girl. It hurts my heart to know that you have such a negative opinion of yourself.” He squeezed her hips with his large hands. “I cannot wait to grip these, while I am fucking you from behind.”
She felt heat in her cheeks. No one ever spoken to her that way. She looked into Paul’s eyes and saw nothing but the truth. The backs of her eyes burned and she blinked rapidly to stop the tears from forming.
His lips twitched as he fought a grin. “I love when you blush. I love that I can make you blush. You are so damn beautiful, kitten, it makes my eyes hurt.” He reached up and took the hunk of her hair, that hand fallen over her shoulder, and rubbed it between his fingers, as if it mesmerized him. The utter contentment on his face was real. She didn’t speak, afraid if she did; it would come out in babbling sobs. Her chest hurt as she fought the emotions bubbling up inside her.
“Let me tell you what I see when I look at you, kitten. I see a beautiful, intelligent, and caring woman. I see a loving mother. I even see the sensual vixen you try to keep hidden, but is dying to come out and play. I see a survivor.”
She shook her head in denial. She wasn’t any of those things, but she wanted to be. She held her breath, trying to stop the crying jag, she felt coming on. She had to get out of here. She didn’t want him to see her lose it. She felt like one big gaping wound. She pushed at him and he gripped her hips with both hands, holding her to his lap.
“You aren’t going anywhere, little sub. You are going to sit there and listen to me. I will always tell you the truth, even if you don’t want to hear it. You are perfect. You are my one true half. I have waited for you, longed for you, since my first shift. I knew there was a mate out there for me, but I had almost given up hope. I didn’t think I would ever find you. You are a goddamn wet dream. Not that I want other men to look at you and think that.” He growled. “You are mine to possess, mine to love, and mine to protect. I will protect you even from yourself. My number one unbreakable rule, no disparaging what is mine. Every time you insult my mate, who is fucking perfect by the way, I will turn you over my knee and spank your ass. I won’t care where we are when it happens.” He looked at her with reverence and in a soft voice said, “You are my every fantasy.”
That did it. Cathy let go of her control and sobbed. She’d never had anyone, tell her she was worthy, let alone beautiful, definitely not a fantasy. Paul pulled her close and wrapped his arms around her. He didn’t say anything, only held her securely, rocked her, and caressed her back. He let her cry as she let go of years of pain, sorrow, and fear. It hurt to finally let go of it all because she had held it inside for so many years.
If she showed this kind of emotion in front of Bud, it got her beaten harder or bullied. He relished the kind of power her weakness gave him. She couldn’t indulge in even one second of tears when it was just her and Luke. She knew once she started, they wouldn’t stop. She couldn’t afford to give in to the debilitating sadness. Her little boy counted on her to take care of him. She had no choice but to lock it away. With every sob and every tear, she felt a piece of that gaping wound close and scab over. It didn’t heal completely, that would take time, but she no longer felt as if she were slowly bleeding to death.
Chapter 15
Paul tightened his arms around Cathy and stood. He gently laid her on the bed, then climbed in with her. He cradled her in his arms as she continued to sob out all that poison that had been eating her alive for years.
He never longed to taste someone’s blood, to feel their life draining from them as he ripped out their throat, as he did in this moment. If Paul ever got ahold of that fucker, he was going to do just that. His poor mate. Her heart wrenching sobs tore at his soul.
As her mate, it baffled him, that she couldn’t see how beautiful she was. Hell, all she had to do was look in the mirror. The cop in him understood it. He arrested enough abusers to know why she saw herself in such a negative light. It was a common MO for them, tear down their victims and break their spirit. It made them easier to prey upon.
He wasn’
t sure how much time passed as he laid there, listening to her gut wrenching grief, it felt like forever. By the time her sobs slowed and turned in to the occasional hiccup, his shirt was soaked with her tears. She turned and buried her face in the crook of his neck. He knew it wasn’t because she wanted to be closer to him. She was embarrassed by her emotional display and wanted to hide. He was her mate and her Dom, and he would not allow her to hide from him.
“Look at me, kitten.” He ordered using a low powerful tone, she would instinctively recognize as not only the Dominant to her sub, but as her alpha mate. “Mate, I said look at me.”
She peered up at him with red swollen eyes filled with embarrassment and hope.
He smiled as he brushed away the hair that clung to her wet cheeks. He loved her hair. It was a fiery mixture of red, orange, and gold. “You will not hide from me, mate, and you shouldn’t be embarrassed. You had a lot of pain and sadness bottled up inside. You needed to purge it in order to heal. Thank you for trusting me.”
Her forehead wrinkled, and she looked confused. “You want to thank me for crying all over you and getting your shirt wet?”
“I do.”
“Um, why?”
“It fills a need in me as your mate and your Dominant. Your trust is a gift. Just as your tears heal a part of you, comforting and caring for you, heals a part of me.”
“I thought Doms were all macho, and I am king hear me roar.”
He barked a laugh. He loved her sass. “I guess the ones that pretend to be Doms act that way.”
She nodded and looked away. She was hiding from him again. He wouldn’t tolerate that. He palmed her cheek and turned her face so she had no choice but to look at him. “Rule number two.” She stiffened and he could feel her anxiety. It was the same reaction he felt earlier when he mentioned rules. He studied her face and could see she was working herself up to fight-or-flight mode.
“What is the first word that comes to mind when I say rules?”
He caught her off guard with the question, and that was his intention. He wanted an honest unfiltered answer.