by Sally Henson
“No, Regan, you don’t need him. You need to find that fire inside you. It’s still there because I’ve seen it a few times over break.”
“It’s not because of him. It’s my parents. The only time they talk anymore is when they’re fighting. And it’s my fault.” I look down at my fingers. The weight on my chest that had disappeared the last five days returns. “It’s not worth it.”
He pulls off to the side of the road, reaches over the console, and grips my chin in his callused fingers. “It’s not you. Your dad is seriously messed up.” He tilts his head down and bores his gaze into me with his blue jean-colored eyes. He stares so long that it makes my insides squirm. “You hear me?”
Cam’s been so great this week. Fun. What I needed. I give in to his intensity and nod.
“You know I would never do that to you, right?” he asks, his voice a soft, slow song. “I’d never hold you back. You need to fly. Do your thing.”
I swallow and nod again. The day he found me outside by the puke bush changed things between us. He showed me the soft, sweet side of himself. I got to see more of that this week. I like that side of Cameron Montgomery.
He drops his hand from my chin and pulls back on the road. “It’s one summer, Rey. One.”
37
REGAN
Cam and Tobi walk with me after school to the parking lot. Lane’s old white pickup is in the last row.
“Look, I know you guys think me not going to Eckerd this summer is Lane’s fault, but it’s not. Promise me that you’re not going to mention it to him.”
They both look straight ahead.
“Tobi?” I raise my eyebrows, waiting for her response.
She purses her lips. “Fine.”
I look up at Cam on the other side of me. The scowl hardens on his face as his eyes roam from Tobi to me.
“Promise me, Cam.”
He lets out a growl. “I want it known that I’m agreeing under protest, and I reserve my right to rescind such agreement with written notice.”
“What?” Tobi laughs.
“I’ll promise for now.” Cam nods toward his truck. “I gotta go. See you tomorrow.”
“You don’t want to say hi to Lane?” I ask. I know he’s not happy with Lane, but they are still friends, and I don’t want to be the one that drives a wedge between them. “It won’t take but a minute.” He’ll waste more time than that syncing his playlist to the tractor’s stereo.
“No. I don’t.” He takes a deep breath. He glances at me before his shoulders fall back into place. “I need to get in the field. I have a lot to do since my helper won’t be around.” He raises his brows at me. I was supposed to work after school. When I told him Lane was coming home today, he wasn’t thrilled about me skipping out, but he said he could handle things for the night.
“Cam, the slave driver,” Tobi quips.
“Thanks for tonight, Cam.” I don’t want to make him mad, but it’s been two weeks since I saw Lane. And he came home in the middle of the week, which is not like him.
“Yup,” Cam calls as he splits off from us.
“See you tomorrow,” Tobi calls.
He points to Lane with a wave as he rounds his truck. Lane raises his hand through the open window in return.
“I think I’ll leave too.” Tobi leans her shoulder against mine. “I’m pretty sure I’ll break the promise I just made if I talk to him right now.”
“He drove home on a Wednesday. That’s got to mean something, right?” When he sent me the message this morning, he just asked if he could pick me up after school. No reason why.
She eyes me. “Just be careful, okay?”
I nod. Cam blabbed about Lane not wanting me to go to camp to her. I never said that exactly, but he figured it out somehow.
Tobi opens the door of her car and tosses her bag. “Let me know what happens.”
I smile, reassuring her everything is fine. “I will.”
She smiles back. Her tanned skin makes her smile brighter. The platinum streaks from the sun make her even more gorgeous than she already was. She gets in her car, and I turn my focus on Lane and head straight for his truck.
With his sunglasses on, I can’t tell if he’s watching me. My smile grows the closer I get though. So do the nervous quivers in my stomach.
He gets out and meets me with a tight embrace. His chest expands against mine. “You feel so good,” he moans, pressing a kiss through my hair and against my neck. “I missed you.”
His words and the way he holds me lessen the uneasiness inside. Mm, I had forgotten how good he smells. I just want to stay here and breathe him in. “You did?”
He pulls away and those dimples wink at me. “Like crazy,” he says, pulling me back in.
“Me too.” So much I can’t even begin to describe.
Lane takes my hand and leads me to the driver's door.
When I slide across the seat, I catch Cam’s truck rumbling out of the parking lot. A tinge of guilt runs through me. I push it away. I’ll be back to work tomorrow.
I slide across the bench seat of Lane’s truck. The summer glow on his skin is begging for me to touch him. “Nice tan.”
He flashes me a smile. “Let’s get out of here.”
Twenty minutes later, we’re standing along the bank of Fox Creek, fishing. I’m not really fishing. I didn’t put any bait on my hook because all I want to do is listen to his smooth voice as he talks.
“I’ve done so many things in my first year of college that I never thought I’d ever do.” He lays his fishing pole on the ground and steps behind me, sliding his arms around my waist. “I wish you could have been there. Experienced it with me.”
His arms feel right and wrong at the same time. I want to turn around and dive into a deep kiss, but Tobi and Cam’s warnings to be careful are still fresh. “You acted like you were too busy to even talk to me. Why would you wish I was there?”
He kisses my shoulder. “I’m sorry.” Another kiss. “We were busier that I thought we would be.”
His touch is breaking down any walls I had put up. I stay strong and reel in the line a bit.
He pulls my hair over one shoulder and whispers, “I really missed you.” His soft, warm lips meet the exposed skin of my neck. “I love you.”
Goosebumps spread all over my skin, and my body shudders. I reel in the line of the fishing pole the rest of the way and drop the pole as he dots my skin with kisses. Giggles bubble out of me because it tickles, and I love it. When I twist in his arms, his cologne swirls around me, and I take his beautiful face in my hands. Lane has the most intense eyes I’ve ever seen. “I love you. So much, it hurts sometimes.”
I press my lips to his, and he kisses me heartbreakingly slow and sweet.
“So my idea’s…” he whispers against my lips between kisses. “To be closer…”
When he called Saturday, he said we needed to talk. Has he changed his mind? I pull away from his kiss as my heart skips into a faster rhythm. “I’m listening.” I comb through the back of his sandy hair with my fingers.
He turns that intense stare of his on and says, “My parents will be gone Saturday night.”
“Yeah?” I’m not sure if he’s saying what I think he’s saying or not. He thought we should wait to move things along.
“Come over?” he asks, skimming his fingertips on my bare skin underneath my shirt.
I nod. He knows I’ll come over anytime he’s there.
“Stay over?” he asks.
I freeze. My eyes flit between his. The question is on the tip of my tongue. I want to make sure he wants what I want.
“Be closer,” he whispers, trailing his fingers along my spine, and over the clasp of my bra, sending all kinds of shockwaves through me.
My breath hitches. I don’t know if it is his words or his touch. But I like them both.
“Or we can wait. I want you to stay either way. If you want to.” The tractor beam hold he has on me stays strong. He never wavers.
&nbs
p; My heart was already pounding from his kisses. But thinking about his hands on me for real, the tease of his fingertips at this moment, has me out of breath and tongue-tied. This invitation is not what I was expecting when he texted me earlier today.
Without thinking about how I will make it happen, I push up on my toes and agree, “I want to. All of it.”
38
REGAN
I step off the school bus, grateful to be on solid ground. The substitute bus driver hit every bump and hole in the road. And ever since Lane came home Wednesday, Cam’s doesn’t need me to help him farm. Which means he doesn’t drive me home either. By the time school starts next fall, I hope to have my own car, and I won’t have to deal with bus rides anymore.
When I make it up the rocky driveway, I check the shed. No cars. Dad should still be at work. Mom’s probably delivering clothes or something.
Being home during daylight hours has been hard to get used to. At least both my parents are gone. I walk through the door and see a pattern and fabric laid out on the table. Mom usually makes sure to put her work away when she’s finished so they don’t get food or drink spilled on them. I step closer and see a note on top of the pattern.
Regan,
There was an accident at your dad’s work. I’ll call you when I know more.
Love,
Mom
Dad’s been in little accidents at work before. It usually ends up with him being off work for a day or two. Ugh, that means he might be home for a few days. If Tobi didn’t have a family thing tonight, I would be at her house right now. I head for my room, turn on some music, and study for a chemistry test next week.
The phone rings. I head to the kitchen and answer it.
“Hello?”
Mom’s voice answers. “Regan.”
“Hey, I got your note. What happened?”
She takes a breath. “There was an explosion, and some equipment fell on top of your dad.”
I pull out a chair at the table and sit down. “Is he okay?”
“They are taking him to St. Louis for surgery right away.”
My hand goes to my mouth. “Is he going to be okay? What kind of surgery?”
Mom gives me the details. Hospital name, floor number, everything.
A weary breath comes through the phone. “I won’t be home tonight.”
My stomach tightens. “What should I do?”
“Pray the surgery is successful. Pray he’ll be okay.”
I nod as she tells me what to do. “Mom?”
“Yes, sweetie.”
“I should be there. I know I’ve been mad at him for a long time, but…”
“If Lane can bring you, that will be okay. I want you to be safe.”
“Okay. I love you, Mom. Tell Dad I love him too.”
As soon as she hangs up, I call Lane. It rings and rings until his voice mail picks up. He doesn’t always see his voice mails, but I leave him a message to call me as soon as he can.
This is serious. Seriously bad. I stop and pray for everything Mom said to pray for. And for a way to get to the hospital.
I think about calling Lane’s parents, but they have the girls and Dan gets up really early in the mornings for work. I’ll only ask for a ride as a last resort.
Tobi would give me a ride. I pace the floor and dial her number. She doesn’t answer. Crap, she’s at a family dinner or something. Ugh! I leave her a message too.
I hate to bother Cam after he said he was taking the night off. But he did say if I ever needed anything, he’d be here for me. I find his number in my contacts and dial it on my home phone. He picks up on the first ring.
“Thank God you answered.” I breathe a sigh of relief.
“What’s wrong?”
I tell him about the note, the call from Mom, and Lane and Tobi not answering their phones.
The next thing I know, he’s in my driveway picking me up, and driving to St. Louis. We barrel through the double doors of the hospital together. He drove like a madman to get here, but I didn’t care. We’re here. Now to find out where my mom’s at.
Cam grips my shaky hand and leads me to a desk with a calm lady behind it. “Could you tell us where the waiting area for surgery is?”
The lady asks questions that Cam answers and she gives us directions I am only slightly aware of. My stomach is so full of knots, I’m feeling nauseated. Something about the south elevator and the fifth floor. He leads me away from the desk with my hand in his, and I let him. This place is a gigantic maze, and I know I’d be lost without Cameron.
We step into the elevator with four other people. Cam tucks me into his side. “Almost there,” he whispers.
I lean into Cam’s strength, tears stinging my eyes, praying Dad will be okay. Dad and I haven’t been on good terms for months, but that doesn’t mean I want him to be hurt. Or to die. Oh, my gosh. What if he dies?
I squeeze my eyes shut and shake my head. No. No, that can’t happen.
Cam pulls me closer and rubs my back. “It’ll be okay. They have great doctors here.”
I nod against his chest. He’s right. I push those thoughts away, but I stay there and let him hold me together.
Tobi called me on our way over here, so she knows what’s going on. Linc called and said he was going to try to get family emergency leave. I know Mom would love to have him here. I would too.
The doors open. “This is us,” Cam says. He guides me through the people onto the fifth floor.
Lane’s ringtone sounds. I quickly shut off the sound to my phone. The waiting room should be close, and I need to talk to Mom. I look up at Cam. “Thanks for doing this.”
He squeezes my shoulder, bringing me closer. He points ahead of us. “I think we’re here.”
“Finally.” I speed up and look through the glass wall for my mom. She’s sitting in a chair in the corner. I fling open the door and rush over. “Mom.”
She stands and meets me, engulfing me in a hug. “Everything will be all right.”
“Are you okay?” I ask and loosen my grip. “Is Dad going to be okay?”
Cam steps beside us as she’s explains what happened. It’s more than minor surgery. Which I knew before I came over. They don’t fly people to St. Louis for minor things.
The tears I’d been holding off finally spill over my lashes. “Is he going to make it through this?”
“The doctors seem positive.” She rubs my arm and looks up at Cam. “Thank you for brining Regan over, Cameron. That was sweet of you.”
“Of course. I’d do anything for her.” He rubs my shoulder.
“We have a long wait. They have coffee and tea over there. There is a vending machine down the hall that way, and the restrooms.” She points in the direction.
“I’ll be back,” I say and head for the bathroom, calling Lane on the way.
He answers on the second ring. “Hey. Sorry I missed your call earlier. We are about to go on.”
“It’s okay,” I say and walk into the bathroom, locking the door behind me. “I thought you might be. You got my messages?”
“Yeah. What happened?”
I explain what happened to Dad.
A long breath whistles through the phone. “So Cam drove you over?”
“Yeah. I tried you and Tobi, but Cam was the only one who answered. Sounds like we have a long night ahead of us.”
He clears his throat. “Are you okay?”
“I guess. I feel so guilty about the way I’ve been acting. I mean, it’s his fault too, but…it’s making me sick to my stomach.”
“Don’t do that. It’s not your fault, okay?”
I lean against the door. It feels like my fault right now. “Do you think you might be able to come over?” I know he’s busy, but I could use his steadiness, his love.
“I want to.” I hear someone make a comment to Lane about getting on stage. “Let me call you after we’re done here tonight. Will that be okay?”
I rip off some toilet paper to wipe my nose wit
h. “Yeah, sure.” I sniff. “He’s in surgery now.”
“Is Cam on his way back home?”
“No. We haven’t been here very long.”
He’s quiet for a minute.
“Lane?”
“Yeah?”
“Oh, I thought I lost connection or something.”
“Do my parents know?” he asks. “About your dad?”
“Um, I’m not sure. Linc knows. He’s trying to get leave.” I hope that’s a good thing. It wasn’t so great when he left last time.
Lane says something I can’t make out. “Okay. I’ll let my parents know. I’ve got to go. Call me and let me know when Cam leaves.”
39
LANE
With all that’s going on, my parents cancelled their overnight trip. Which means Regan staying all night with me is off the agenda.
In some ways, I’m relieved it’s not going to happen. Besides, I came up with the idea because her dad is on my case again.
What kind of person does that?
The desperate kind, that’s who.
I take a deep breath of the crisp, morning air as I trek through the woods to take down my tree stand. My head is so full of clutter right now. Mr. Stone, Cam, Regan, the band…it’s too much. Being in a tree stand, out in nature, usually clears my thoughts. I hope it works because I don’t want anything clouding my head when Regan and I drive home from the hospital today.
I can’t stop seeing Cameron’s posts and photos of the two of them while I was gone. I trust her, but not him. Not anymore.
I let out a growl. Just thinking about them together all week makes me want to deck him. Yeah, I dangled sex, or whatever definition of “close” she has in mind, in front of her to erase any damage Cam did.
Yes, I’m a jerk for doing it. But Cam is no angel.