by Julie Kenner
Chapter 8
My scream still hangs in the air as I toss my dress over my head and race out of the room and down the stairs.
Oh god oh god oh god...
Another flight, then another.
Oh Christ oh shit...
And again and again until finally I reach the door to the courtyard and I burst through just as Raine and a tall woman with long dark hair race out of the door of Number 36 across from me.
I stare at the woman. I’d seen her only once from a distance, but her image is burned into my mind.
“You?”
She is the woman Dante left me for. And like Dante, she has not aged a day.
“I’m Jessica¸” she says. “And no. I’m not with Dante. I never was. Trust me, Liam would be pissed.”
“Liam?” I think about the huge, gorgeous man with the kind eyes.
“My mate—my husband.”
“But—but, Dante said—”
She nods pointedly at his broken body that lies still on the concrete. “He’ll explain.”
It is those nonsensical words that break the spell. Shock, I must be in shock.
“Explain?” The word is ripped out of me. “But he’s—Oh, god. He needs an ambulance,” I cry. “Please, he’s—”
“An ambulance won’t do him any good. He’s dead,” Jessica says. “But it will be all right. Trust me. I’m a doctor.”
I’m not sure if I should be terrified of this truly crazy woman or feel sorry for her. But I take the chance of turning my back on her and hurry toward Dante. Raine is crouching beside him, but now he stands up and steps away from Dante and toward me, his hand held out as if to stop me.
“You shouldn’t go closer,” he says.
“The hell I won’t.” I know he’s dead—I can look at him and see that—but I can’t make myself believe it. I can’t lose him again. Not when I was so close to getting him back. And somehow I know that if I can just hold him then it will turn out that this is all a dream, and—
I try to rush past Raine, but he jerks me to a halt. “Brenna, no. You’ll get hurt.”
Hurt?
And then, before I have time to ask the question, a wall of flames seems to encircle Dante, the fire moving in to lick at his naked body. Burning away his skin. His beautiful tattoos.
Destroying all that is left of the man I love.
I look at Raine. At Jessica. They are doing nothing about this. If anything, they seem pleased, and all that I can think is that this is crazy. Completely crazy.
I start to scream. To cry. To fall into full-blown, horrible, hysterical grief.
“Brenna, it’ll be okay.” Jessica’s voice is soft beside me, but it is not soothing. I want to hate this woman. This kind woman who presses a hand to my shoulder and says, very gently, “It will be better when you wake. Sleep now, sweetie. Go ahead, just sleep.”
I don’t want to—I really don’t. But my body is so heavy and I start to slip toward the ground.
The last thing I see is Dante’s ashes dancing in a circle of fire.
And the last thing I feel is Raine’s strong arms going around me and keeping me from collapsing in a heap on the ground.
* * * *
I wake, groggy and disoriented, in Dante’s bed, the man himself sitting beside me, studying my face with concern. And with something else that looks like hope.
“Hey,” I say as scrub sleep out of my eyes. “I had the most bizarre dream.” But even as I say the words, the freakish, impossible truth is settling over me.
It wasn’t a dream.
He is wearing pajama bottoms and no shirt. And there is a vibrant phoenix now tattooed on his chest, just over his heart.
I shake my head because none of this makes sense. “Just spit it out,” I say. “Please—whatever this is, whatever is going on—it will be easier if you just tell me in one quick burst.”
His eyes study mine, and then he nods. “All right,” he says. His voice is soft and soothing. “I don’t know where to start.”
“Anywhere.” The word is ripped from me. “I just need words. Please, just start talking because I need your words to ground me.”
He seems to understand that because he takes my hand, and I cling tight to it, as if I’m afraid that his words are going to rip him from me.
“I love you,” he says, and the words curl around me, warm and comforting. “I should start with that. But it can’t—it can’t work because I’m immortal. That’s what I was trying to tell you. What I had to show you.”
I start to say something, but really, there just aren’t words. So I close my mouth, and I keep listening.
“I’m not from here—this dimension, this world. None of us are. Me, Raine, Liam, Mal. Jessica. The others—you’ll meet them. We came on a mission from our world, chasing a horrible enemy. We call it the fuerie, and in the chase we were thrown off course. We—and the fuerie—crashed in this dimension.”
“When?” It is the only word I can manage.
“About three thousand years ago.”
“Oh.” I try to process that, but it’s too big. So I just nod and latch onto the important part. Immortal. Or at least pretty damn close.
“Yes,” he agrees when I say as much. “I’m getting there. You see, we are not originally creatures of matter. We’re energy. Pure, sentient energy. But we can’t exist without form in this dimension. Our essence has to be bound or else it dissipates and we lose our identity. So after we crashed here, we had to find a form.”
“So you what? Possessed humans?”
“The fuerie did, yes. They steal bodies. They burn through them. They move through this world spreading evil.” He draws a breath. “But that isn’t our way. We were met by a group of men and women sent by an Egyptian prince who had visions. He understood what we needed, and we merged with volunteers. Our essence merging with theirs. We became human—and yet not. And, yes, we are immortal. Our bodies do not age. They do not change. And unless we are killed, we go on forever as we are.”
“But you just said you’re immortal. What do you mean, unless you’re killed?”
“You saw it yourself. If we are mortally wounded, we seem to die, but then we are reborn again in the phoenix fire.” He points to the seventh tattoo that has appeared on his chest. “With each death, we get a new mark.”
I nod slowly. “All right,” I finally say.
He looks at me, apparently baffled. “All right?”
“Well, yes.” I frown, not sure what he expects.
“You believe me?”
I laugh. “Well, I’d be hard pressed to argue.” He’s still looking at me as if he is completely gobsmacked. I take his hand. “It’s weird, I’ll give you that. But it also makes a lot of sense. And—okay, this is going to sound really crazy—but it almost feels like something I knew. But just never realized I knew.”
He’s still looking at me strangely. Now he shakes his head. “I didn’t expect that.”
“Why not? Do I seem that close-minded? Like I just toss away evidence that’s right in front of my nose?”
“No, no. It’s just that such easy acceptance...” He stands and goes to look through the broken window. “We’ve just always believed it was a sign of—”
I sit up straighter. “Of what?”
He shakes his head. “It doesn’t matter.” I watch as his shoulders rise and fall, then he turns to face me. “This is why we have to end this. Between us, I mean.”
“Oh, I know what you mean. And no.”
His brow rises. “No? I don’t have a say?”
“Not if I can help it.” I slide out of bed and move into his arms. “You’re being an ass.”
“An ass?” I can’t tell if he’s amused or annoyed. “I’m trying to protect you. There’s no future here. No matter what else might happen, you will grow old, Brenna. You will die. We can’t—” His breath hitches. “We can’t be together. Not forever.”
“Then let’s be together for now.” My voice is so soft I can bare
ly hear it. “Is that why you pretended with Jessica? To push me away? Because eventually it would end?”
He hesitates, then nods.
“Idiot. Ass. Dumbfuck.”
He narrows his eyes at me.
“I mean it. I mean, come on, Dante. I’ve got at least a few more decades left in me.” I frown, struck by the fact that I am in a conversation discussing my own mortality. Not exactly happy fun times.
“You should spend your years with someone you can grow old with.”
“Oh, so you’d just toss me aside at the first sign of wrinkles for some tight young thing?” I’m teasing, but the pain in his voice when he answers is real.
“God, no. But—”
I feel the tears burn in my eyes, and I press my palm to his cheek. “Then stop it. Because I want to spend my years with you. So stop worrying about the future. Let’s just take the now. We can figure out the rest later.” The tears stream freely down my face. “I’ve missed you so much. You shouldn’t have left me. Not because of this.”
“It can’t last forever,” he says. “I thought—” He shakes his head. “God, never mind what I thought. You’re here now.” He takes my hand and leads me back to the bed.
“Make love to me,” I whisper. “We still have a few hours until morning. Make love to me slowly and sweetly. Please,” I beg. “Dante, I need you.”
His eyes meet mine. “Oh, baby, I need you, too.”
Chapter 9
I am still glowing from Dante’s touch the next morning as I sip coffee in the VIP lounge of Dark Pleasures.
I’ve never been here before, but it feels like home. Welcoming, with rich leather and wood and the scent of alcohol and cigars.
Dante brought me with him to his operational meeting with Raine and Mal and Liam.
“I’ll run the operation from here,” Liam had said. “The three of you will get in and get out fast.”
Jessica and Callie and Christina were also there, and Dagny joined us halfway through the meeting.
“Why you three?” I’d asked Dante once the meeting wrapped.
“I’m going because I can detect the fuerie,” he said.
“Your enemy? Why would they—”
He cut me off. “We’re trying to rescue a brother they trapped. It’s reasonable to assume they’ll want to stop us. Don’t worry,” he’d said, seeing my face. “We fight the fuerie all the time—it’s what we do. And right now, there aren’t any nearby anyway. Besides,” he added with a cocky grin, “immortal. Remember?”
I pointed to Mal and Raine. “And those two? They feel the fuerie as well?”
“Mal can manipulate memory. He’ll clean up for us afterward with the security staff, doorman, anyone else we come across. And Raine can talk to electronics. He’ll get us into the apartment and then into that display case.”
My head was spinning. “Seriously?”
“We’re creatures of energy,” he said. “That gives us a unique knowledge of how to manipulate that energy. Don’t worry,” he added before kissing me hard. “The mission will go just fine.”
Now, sitting with the women while Liam has gone off to the Phoenix Security office to monitor the action, I can only hope that he was right about the mission going well.
“Relax,” Jessica says kindly. “This is what we do, and the coast is clear. No fuerie nearby and Folsom is out for his jog. This mission will be a walk in the park.”
I nod, then sit back, holding my coffee tight in both hands because I want the warmth for comfort. I’m trying not to worry—truly—but it’s hard.
“So what happens to the man you’re trying to rescue?” Maybe if I keep talking, I won’t imagine everything that can possibly go wrong.
“If his essence escapes from that gemstone without being bound in another or in a human, then Merrick is essentially dead. So we’re going to form an energy field around him. All of the brotherhood gather our energy, then we direct it to pull his essence from the flawed gem and into a pure one.”
“So then he just lives in a new gem forever?”
Jessica frowns. “Unfortunately, until we find a human willing to merge with him, that’s true. He could take over a human’s body, but that’s not the way we operate. But this way he will still be alive, and I promise you that time doesn’t mean the same thing to him as it does to you.”
I nod, but I realize I’m hugging myself. All of this is a lot to take in. I let my gaze wander around the room, giving me a little time to think. Across from the chair I’m curled up in, Christina sits cross-legged on a sofa, her eyes closed, her wrists resting on her knees.
I lean toward Jessica, who I’ve come to consider my personal instructor. “What’s she doing?”
“She can see the fuerie. But it’s different than Dante. She has to call up a map in her mind. Great for intelligence. Less practical in the midst of a mission.”
I watch, and Jessica is right. It looks like Christina is watching a movie in her mind.
After a moment, she opens her eyes. “All clear,” she says and sets a timer on her phone for thirty minutes. “No fuerie on Manhattan, and none for miles.”
“So how does it work for Dante?” I ask.
“He can just reach out with his mind. He doesn’t have to call up a map. So it’s much faster. But he can only feel the fuerie if they are nearby. Christina sees a map of the entire world.”
“Wow.”
“Pretty much,” Jessica agrees.
“He’ll look, right?” I ask. “During the mission, I mean. He’ll keep reaching out?” I can’t shake the feeling that something bad is going to happen.
“Of course.” Jessica’s voice is soft. Tender. “That’s his job. He’ll be fine.” She takes my hand. “I’m glad you two are back together. In London, he was so gone over for you. I don’t think I’d ever seen him so happy, and I’ve known Dante for a very long time.”
“Then why did he leave? Why did you two pretend to be a couple?”
“It’s hard,” Jessica says. “Everybody wants a forever kind of love, us most of all, because to us, forever is so very real. And when he got through his head that he couldn’t have that with you, he tossed away happiness in the now because he couldn’t have it in the forever.”
“But I love him,” I say. “And he loves me. Why wouldn’t he just be grateful for the time we could have?”
She lifts a shoulder. “I think he was a little hurt. He’d thought you were truly his—that you really could be his forever. But that’s so rare that he shouldn’t have even let the possibility enter his mind.”
“It’s hard not to,” Dagny puts in, even as I’m trying to figure out what exactly we’re talking about. “I mean, I felt that punch when I met Braydon, and for a while I fantasized that he might really be my mate. But it was just that sexual attraction. Awesome and wonderful and I love him to death, but he’s not my forever guy.”
“I wish he was,” Christina says. “He’s my best friend, and I hate the thought that I’m going to live forever and I won’t have him to talk to even in just a hundred short years.”
My head is spinning. “Wait. Wait, you guys are saying that sometimes mortals really can stay with you forever?”
The three glance at each other, then at me. It’s Jessica who speaks. “I thought Dante explained everything to you last night.”
“He explained a lot,” I say. “This, not so much.”
“Shit.”
“Tell me,” I demand. “What are you talking about?”
Jessica meets Dagny’s eyes, and the other girl nods. For a moment, I think that Jessica is going to ignore this tacit permission, but then Jessica draws in a breath. “In our world, finding your mate is a permanent thing. It’s more than a bond. It’s like a merging. So it’s very rare for someone from our dimension to truly mate with a human. But sometimes—very rarely—a true mate is found. It’s like what you call soul mates, only more so.”
“Okay,” I say, certain that Dante is absolutely my soul mate. �
�But how does a human soul mate live forever?”
“If a human goes into the phoenix fire,” Dagny says, “she’ll die. Burn up. End of story. But if that human enters her true mate’s phoenix fire, she’ll be transformed. She’ll become immortal. She’ll be bound with him and will become one of us.”
I’m trying to process all of that. “Wait. Are you saying that if I’d gone into that fire last night, I could be immortal now? That I could be with Dante forever? Why the hell did you stop me?”
“Because you’re not his true mate,” Jessica says flatly, her words sitting like rocks in my stomach. “You’re not truly his.”
“The hell I’m not.” A slow burn of fury is rising in me. Not only did they not tell me about the fire that could have brought Dante and I together forever, now they’re telling me that we’re not really meant to be. “Are you saying he doesn’t love me enough?”
Surely not. I’ve seen the passion in his eyes. Felt it in his touch. But if that’s true—oh, god, please let it not be true—then I need to know. Because what I feel with him is so over the top and out of control that I cannot even imagine a world in which he doesn’t love me just as deeply.
“He’s head over heels for you,” Jessica says. “But there’s no shame in your not feeling the same way. You can be feel all that and still not be someone’s true mate. I mean, seven times before a woman has believed she loved one of the brothers that completely, but she ended up perishing in the flame, anyway.”
Christina’s timer starts to beep, as if underscoring these awful words.
Dagny shivers. “It was horrible. Only one has ever been a true mate and became immortal. There may have been others, but none willing to risk the fire.” She shrugs. “But if they don’t want the risk, maybe it’s not true.”
I’m not interested in these horror stories. They don’t apply to me; I’m certain of it. “What makes you think I don’t love him enough? That we’re not connected enough?”
Dagny and Jessica exchange looks. “He saw you, Brenna. He saw you kissing another man.”