by Unknown
The kill was drawn out and several gods looked away from the carnage but I forced myself to watch. They did this for me and the least I could do was respect their vengeance and acknowledge that it was merely a manifestation of their love. Yes, I know that sounds horrible and perhaps you think that violence should never be a part of love. But I'm a dragon and I know the truth; that love and violence are only a heartbeat apart. Losing one will lead you to the other and the stronger your love, the more bloody your wrath will be.
Qaus hadn't taken me from Trevor and Kirill, he hadn't destroyed their love, but he had tried and it was the threat of loss that my husbands were responding to. They needed to do more than just kill him, they needed to feed their fury until it was full enough to step back behind the heartbeat and let love rule once more. So I watched and respected their love. After all, I would have done the same for them.
I knew the exact moment that Qaus died and it wasn't because the screams had stopped. I think he passed out long before he passed away. It was the magic that clued me in. The rainbows bonds disappeared and I fell forward. Azrael and Re caught me before I landed and I was laid gently back into the chair. Then Trevor was there, still in werewolf form and covered with blood.
“Minn Elska,” he said softly, his voice a rough growl out of his werewolf throat. He laid a large, clawed paw to my injured cheek and I hissed. “Teharon,” he called over his shoulder.
Kirill came up beside me, back in his human form and gloriously naked. His ebony hair spilled down around me as he leaned in to nuzzle my uninjured cheek.
“It's okay,” I pushed him back gently. “I got it. Just back away a little.”
They eased back as I called forth my healing fire. All but Re, who was probably as fireproof as I. He held one of my hands as I put the other to my cheek. Flames licked upward from my fingertips, healing my skin instead of burning it. My broken jaw mended with a click and my vision went back to normal. The first thing I saw was the concern in Re's gold eyes.
“Lala,” he whispered. “Are you alright?”
“Talk about making an entrance,” I smiled and looked from him to the others clustering around me. “That was damn impressive. And you guys had perfect timing. They were just about to get creative in their torture.”
“Creative?” Kirill's eyes narrowed.
“I may have taunted them a bit,” I shrugged. “The words bone and saw were used.”
“Tima,” Kirill sighed. “Could you maybe not taunt gods who are about to torture you?”
“Come on,” I rolled my eyes. “Like the Rainbow Twins could do anything to me that hasn't already been done. They didn't even last two minutes against you guys.”
“Well, we did come in force,” Finn smirked and waved at the gathering of gods, angels, and shifters. “I'm a little bummed that I didn't get to do much beyond knock out a few humans.”
“Knock out?” I lifted my brows.
“We learned our lesson,” Hades grimaced. “The humans guarding this place are unconscious but alive.”
“That's good to hear,” I sighed but then slid a smile over towards my husbands. “Tracked me with my ring, did you?” I held up my gold wedding band that I'd enchanted with magic to alert us when one of us was in trouble... and to tell us exactly where they were. It had come in handy too many times to count.
“Yep,” Trevor nodded. “This was one of your best ideas.” He held up his hand to show off his matching ring.
“Hey, Horsemen,” I called over to Azrael's friends. “Thanks for lending a hand. Or should I say an arm-ageddon?”
“Carus,” Azrael shook his head.
“Anytime you want an Apocalypse, we're at your service, my lady,” War, I mean Sam, bowed and his horse bowed with him.
“We're always up for some action,” Ted agreed with a wide grin. “I'm just thrilled that I got to fire my bow.”
“It's been awhile,” Ira nodded. “It felt good to fly in and rescue someone.”
“Instead of just kill everything,” Sam added.
“Tima?” Aidan had changed back to human form so he could speak.
Which meant he was as naked as Kirill was but shifters really don't care about that sort of thing. Of course, there were more than just shifters there and I chuckled as I watched Horus slip his hand over Kate's ogling eyes.
“Aidan?” I lifted my brow at my lion.
“Shouldn't we celebrate?” He offered.
“Absolutely; party at our place,” I said immediately and everyone cheered.
Chapter Thirty-Three
“You look good in this,” I flicked the metal wings crossing Re's chest.
“I know,” he smiled and pulled the elaborate headdress off, setting it on the floor beside him. “But thank you for noticing.”
We were on the veranda, which was also a sort of permanently down drawbridge. It crossed over the moat which surrounded Pride Palace. A moat which was connected to the pool nearby and which was now full of frolicking Intare instead of alligators... or whatever it was that one usually puts in moats. We had thick carpets laid over the veranda and several sitting areas with beautiful Victorian furniture. Re and I were sitting on the ground off to the side though, hanging our legs over the moat and having a private moment together.
“Thank you,” I took his hand. “For coming to my rescue.”
“I was afraid,” he admitted in a low tone. “I haven't felt that way in a long time.”
“You did fine,” I scoffed. “They didn't stand a chance.”
“No, Lala,” he set his golden eyes on me. “I was afraid for you. When I killed Disani, I was enraged because she was threatening you. I got lost to the anger and burned her to ashes. Then I regained some calm and looked up to find you gone. I realized what had happened, that Disani had served as a distraction. This agony tore through me, crippling me. My heart constricted, my lungs wouldn't take in air, and my legs started to shake.”
“Re, I'm so sorry you were worried,” I squeezed his hand. “I know what that's like, feeling that panic.”
“You don't understand,” he pulled me into his side. I laid my head against his chest and listened to his heart beating urgently. “I was faced with the possibility that you were lost to me, that you were dead, and I would have to live through eternity without you. It was a bleak future that stretched before me, one which I now know I must avoid at all costs.”
“Re, I'm so sorry.”
“Stop, Vervain,” he angled my face up and kissed me. “Stop apologizing and just tell me you'll be mine forever.”
“I'll be yours forever,” I whispered as I opened my eyes and looked up into Re's expectant face.
I blinked in confusion as I looked around the room. I was back in my own time, in Re's bed, which I now had intimate knowledge of. Oh crap, I'd been seduced by my own memories. No, not memories really, they were a future that would never happen. And yet I held it all in me now... as Re did.
“I love you, Lala,” Re smiled as he lowered his face to mine.
“Wait,” I held a hand up between us and flinched away. “Just give me a second to get my bearings.” I sat up and slid from his grasp.
“Vervain,” he growled and reached for me.
“How long was I out?” I demanded.
“You've only been here a couple of hours,” he said soothingly. “They're probably not even missing you yet.”
“If you think that, then you don't know my husbands... I mean my fiances,” I muttered as I tried to process what had happened.
I'd lived months in the space of a couple hours. How did that even work? I concentrated, trying to see if there were any missing pieces, if maybe I'd skipped parts. But no, they were all there. I may have fast forwarded through them, like when you scan a memory quickly in your head, but I hadn't skipped anything.
“My daughters have come up with an excuse for your absence, I'm sure,” he reached for me again. “Just relax and come here. Let me hold you and you'll feel better.”
“
No!” I shouted and he gaped at me. “Give me a second, Re.”
“But you saw it all,” he scowled. “You did, didn't you? You just said you'd be mine forever.”
“I was saying that in the memory,” I shook my head. “I wasn't saying it to this you.”
“I am the same me,” he huffed. “You are that Vervain. You're mine, you already said you were.”
“I never said I was,” I shook my head and softened my tone. “That's a future that will never happen. It wasn't meant to.”
“Look at me and tell me you don't love me,” he snatched my hand and pulled me back to him. “Look at me!”
“I can't,” I whispered miserably. “You don't understand what you've done. I'm not short a lover now and the only way I'll bring a new man into my complicated life, is if I am in absolute need of him. I can't have you, Re. It's not right, not fair to my other lovers.”
“Not fair?” He scowled. “This is love, of course it isn't fair. I don't care if you have an open seat at your table or not, I'm sitting down beside you and we're going to share this feast.”
“That was a little confusing,” I blinked. “Are you hungry now, or is it just me? I didn't exactly get to finish my meal and I am eating for two,” I rubbed my belly.
“Vervain!” He shouted, making me flinch.
“I love you!” I shouted back and he went silent. “Are you happy now? Is that what you wanted to hear? I love you, Re. You win. You've accomplished your goal. Bravo. Now we can both be miserable because love is not enough!”
“Of course it is,” he said calmly.
“Not when I have five other hearts to consider,” I shook my head. “Think about what you're asking to be a part of. You'll be lover number six. Is that what you truly want?”
“What I want is you,” his jaw clenched. “We can spend time together here and I'll ignore the fact that I must share you.”
“Denial isn't just a river in Egypt,” I muttered.
“This is not a joke, Vervain,” he growled.
“No, it's not. You've abducted me and forced me to relive things that will only bring me pain. What a romantic way to declare your love for me,” I sneered. “Did you have to see our entire relationship or were you just given a glimpse? Because I saw every detail and it will haunt me forever.”
“I relive them in my dreams,” he whispered. “You went through them in one shot; one long, single memory which you can now choose to push aside, while I see you every night and will continue to do so. Every dream takes me back into your arms and makes me love you all over again. Each morning I wake up with fresh wounds in my aching heart. I can't live like this,” his voice broke.
I automatically reached for him and hugged him tight. He wrapped his arms around me and laid his face against my neck. All I heard were his labored breaths but I felt the liquid heat of his silent tears on my skin and my own heart broke along with his. I guess this was the price I had to pay for the life I was lucky enough to live. I loved Re now but I also loved Trevor, and Kirill, and Azrael, and Odin... and Arach. I started to cry too. Penance for betraying the hearts that were so true to me. And perhaps a little for the love I'd have to let go.
“I'm so sorry, Re,” I found myself repeating the things I'd be saying to him only moments before in my memories-my future-my false future-whatever. “I'm sorry to have made you a part of this. This is so unfair to you but it will be okay. I'll help you. There's no reason for us both to suffer,” I called up my love magic and started to send it into him, to try and ease some of his pain.
He jerked back and stared at me with horror filled eyes. “What are you doing?”
“Just trying to ease your heartache,” I said gently. “Let me take away some of the pain I caused.”
“No!” He shouted. “No, Vervain! This is mine! You are mine! I'm not giving any of it up.”
“Alright, okay,” I held up my hands in a placating way. “I'm not trying to take away the memories, just the hurt.”
“You can take away the hurt by being with me,” he stared at me as if he couldn't understand why being his lover was such a hard thing to do.
“It's just not possible,” I said gently. “I'm so-”
“Stop saying you're sorry!” He got up and stalked out of the room, slamming the door behind him. The click of a lock echoed through the massive chamber.
“Sorry,” I finished in a whisper.
Chapter Thirty-Four
My stomach clenched and I knew this was building up to becoming a repeat of my last abduction by an Egyptian god. I couldn't let that happen, especially not with Rian's birth so close. He shifted inside me, as if he could sense my attention on him, and I set my hand over my belly.
“I know,” I whispered. “We're so outta here.”
I slipped my heels on and headed for the balcony. I know, not the best shoes for an escape but I wasn't leaving them behind. They were Versace... as in the real deal, I didn't make them with magic. Thanks to my new memories, I knew where the tracing room was but I couldn't risk breaking down the door and racing there. So it was a good thing that those future memories had also provided me with a second option; the river. Re had said that it led straight into the Aether. If I could steal a boat and make my way past all of those gates, I could simply sail out of Duat.
I looked down at the steep drop from Re's balcony and realized that I'd have to fly. Fly! Duh, I could just fly over those pesky walls and straight to the end of the river. Take that, you tricksy Egyptian deities! I smiled and removed my shoes (didn't want to ruin them) so I could shift into my half-form; leathery wings sprouting from my shoulders with a feeling very similar to a good back stretch. I sighed as scales lifted out of my skin and my fingers lengthened into claws. Rian stretched along with me and I wondered if he'd shifted too. Mind blown, I stood still for a moment and just stared out at the beautiful landscape.
The sight triggered a memory. They were all so fresh in my mind now but this one seemed special. This one I'd had before all of the others. It was given to me back in that future which would never be. The view from the balcony was only part of the swirling panorama I'd seen as I'd twirled in a circle. I had closed my eyes against the dizzying blur and fallen backwards, laughing. I had completely trusted that Re would be there to catch me and he had been. When I opened my eyes, I saw his golden gaze.
“I love you, Lala,” the words seemed to whisper in the breeze around me now and I cringed, claws cutting into the stone railing.
“I wish I could accept that love, Re,” I sighed as I caught the whispering wind with my wings.
I lifted myself up with strong strokes of my dragon wings, watching the balcony fall away beneath my taloned feet, and feeling that rush of happiness I always got when I flew. This was me, this demon-like form and this wild strength. Pieces of my true self that had been hidden before they'd even been allowed to emerge. For years my dragon had curled inside me, waiting with me in the Well of Souls until we'd finally been released. And even then, she'd waited, trapped until my visit to Faerie had finally released her. Now she was truly mine and so was the sky. I stretched my wings and soared, letting my heartache over Re fall away with the ground as I headed towards the walls separating the territories of Duat.
The feeling of flight is pure freedom. It's no wonder humans chase after it, creating all manner of unnatural wings. You can't be unhappy in the air. Not if you have confidence in your right to be there. Up in the sky, there are no limits, no boundaries, no chains or restrictions-I suddenly struck something solid, right above the spear-tipped wall surrounding Re's territory, and I jolted back in alarm, almost dropping my shoes. I scowled at the glimmering space before me, knowing exactly what I'd hit. So much for no restrictions. It looked like the Egyptian gods were smarter than I'd thought.
“Stupid ward,” I grumbled as I hovered before it. “I guess I'm back to stealing a boat and fighting snakes. Maybe I can just charm them into letting me by. Where's a damn flute when you need one?”
I si
ghed and looked down toward the river. It was much darker here than at the palace, probably why I hadn't noticed the ward before I'd hit it. Full night seemed to have descended upon the land surrounding the river but the breath from the Guardians of the Gate (AKA the venom-spitting, fire-breathing, colossal cobras) lit up the river with eerie amber light. Not that I even needed light. I had great night vision, especially in my half-form. Still, it was there and it was more than enough to illuminate the boat which came sailing out of the first gate.
It was Re's soul boat, full of his followers and his magical hologram goddess. Heka would speak the proper words to open the gates and calm the guardians. Maybe I wouldn't have to become a snake charmer after all.
I swung around and angled towards the boat but hovered high up out of sight while one of the six gods rowed over to collect the souls. After they reached the shore and started walking off towards their wonderful afterlife, I descended to the deck. Then I shifted back to human form and slid my shoes back on.
“What's up, Heka?” I asked the hologram, who of course ignored me. I guess I hadn't said a trigger word.
We reached the gate and Heka intoned something in Egyptian loudly. The snakes stopped their fire breathing and the wood door of the gate swung open to let us through on a rush of dammed up river water. I cast one last look at the shores of Re's territory as I was swept along into the next section of Aaru. Part of me was actually sad to see the last of it.
“Welcome to the Watercourse of the Only God, where Osiris is Lord.”
“Yeah, I figured,” I chuckled and she went back to staring ahead.
There in Osiris' territory, the sky lightened a bit and the forms of soaring statues were revealed on both banks. Egyptian gods sat on carved thrones, staring out at us with their smooth stone eyes. In the center of the statues on the right bank, sat one which was larger and grander than the rest. Its throne was gigantic, set over a stream which poured into the river. The god sitting upon it was staring out at the river with regal grace and on his head he wore one of those high Egyptian crowns which sort of looked like a tube with the front cut out and a bowling pin stuck in the center of it. The outer crown (the tube) was painted red and the bowling pin was white.