by Ali Parker
Jon waited until the coast was clear to run back through the trees to Karen's car. He got inside and called Mike as he pulled back out on the main road. Something inside of him wanted to wait in the shadows for Billy, to just pull the trigger and be done with it, but he wasn't a murderer.
At least not anymore.
Chapter 15
Marcus
"What do you think?" Zak glanced over at Marcus as they rode back to the hotel.
"I'm not sure, honestly." He rolled his shoulders, hating how quickly his heart was closing back up. He never should have let Kate see him break down. He never should have stayed the night. There was no way to leave without crushing her. Or maybe he was overthinking it. He'd told her several times that he loved her, but she'd yet to say it to him in a way that left him believing her.
"What's on your mind, man?" Zak patted Marcus's chest. "You look like a man with far too much weighing him down."
"It's Kate." Marcus rolled down the window and leaned back, closing his eyes. "I can't imagine my life without her, but I don't want this new thing that's happening with us either. I want things to get back to the way they were. We were silent about our feelings and just took care of each other. She had her place, and I had mine. Now... fuck. I don't know."
"What's different now? The cop?"
"Yeah, and the fact that she's seeing something in him that makes her want a relationship, a family, all the shit that I couldn't even fathom trying to live up to." He let out a long exhale. "I don't know. I'm leaving if we decide this is a good gig. I need to get my head out of the clouds. I'm not the kind of man who has a happy ending. It just sits wrong on me."
"Damned to be damned?" Zak gave a sad smile as Marcus glanced over at him.
"Yeah. Something like that." He ran his hands over his bald head. "What about you? You like what they had to say, or are you thinking the future might be better back in Nawlins?"
"I'm going to take you up on running the drug cartel up here if you're offering it." Zak rubbed his hands down his legs. "We could kill the cop, you know. Just take him out while we're taking Billy out. No one would have to know, and Kate could be yours again."
Marcus smirked. "Would you believe me if I told you I actually care about the bastard? He's starting to become more like the punk-ass brother I never had. Just leave it be. Someone has to lose."
"Why you? I can tell you that if I had a choice to shift the emptiness inside of me from losing Katrina to someone else... I would." Zak shifted and shrugged.
"To me?" Marcus glanced over at him.
"That's not fair. I'm finding a friendship with you like the one I had with my own brother years before his death." Zak shook his head and grumbled, "Point taken."
"Naw, it's good. Jon's a good man. He'll take care of Kate. I'm just going to have to close my eyes every time I kiss a woman, touch her, fuck her. I need them all to be her." He closed his eyes as devastation pumped through his chest. Lust was easy. Love was a sick bitch that deserved to be locked up forever.
"Does she know?"
"About Chicago? No. I'll tell her when we get home. I need one more night in her arms before I walk." Marcus pressed his hands over his face and took a long, shaky breath. "I'm praying to God that I have the strength to walk away."
"What if she doesn't want you to, Marcus? Then what?"
The car stopped and Marcus sat up and cleared his throat. "Then nothing. It's not her choice. It never has been."
*
The club was dark and smoky when they walked in later that night. Sitting around the hotel talking about Zak's loss or Marcus's situation got old far too fast.
"I'll grab us a couple of beers. Find us a table, preferably away from the dance floor." Marcus turned from his new friend and walked to the bar. A pretty blond with far too much titty for the top she was wearing leaned over and smiled.
"What can I get for you, big man?" She bit her lip and tried hard to look cute.
"Two beers. Bud Lights if you have them." He lifted his card. "Start a tab too."
"Of course." She took the card and turned, putting long legs and a short skirt on display. He kept waiting for his cock to twitch, his stomach to tighten.
Something.
Anything.
"Fuck, nothing." He turned around and growled softly as his eyes scanned the dance floor. There had been many women in his bed before him and Kate settled into a routine, but not since. Getting back in the swing of things should have been something to look forward to, but it wasn't.
He didn't want anyone else, and yet the future was forcing him to walk.
"Here you go, handsome. The girl at the end of the bar bought these for you." The bartender smiled and nodded toward the end of the bar.
A bombshell sat on a stool by herself, her long dark hair covering her shoulders and hiding her face. The strong slope of her shoulder and thick swell of her breast was appetizing, but not enough to walk down and thank her. Marcus would send Zak over later.
He walked through the crowd and found the smaller man at a table, talking to a couple of rough looking guys who stood around him.
"Excuse me." Marcus pushed his way through them and dropped down beside Zak. "Friends of yours?"
"Yeah, crazy enough. Paulk, this is Marcus. Marcus, my brother's best friend from when we were kids. They're all here in Chicago now." Zak laughed and shook his head. "Small fucking world."
"We're going to shoot some pool. You guys wanna join us?" Paulk asked.
"Naw, you guys go catch up. I'm good taking in the scenery. Besides, how am I supposed to get laid with all you ugly bitches crowding the view?" Marcus smirked as the guys laughed.
Zak got up and turned back. "You sure about not playing?"
"Yeah. I'm good." Marcus nodded as he lifted his beer to his lips. He needed some time to himself to digest what he was going to do about Kate. He pulled his phone out and called her, wanting to hear her voice.
"Where are you?" She didn't sound too thrilled. Good. He liked that she was testy that he wasn't there with her.
"I'm in Chicago. There was an opportunity out here that I wanted to check out." He licked at his lips. "I wish you were with me."
"I would be if you had asked me to, asshole." She was pissed. He chuckled at the thought.
"You know why I didn't tell you, Katie." He scanned the crowd, finding the brunette gone from her barstool.
"No, actually, I don't understand it at all. You show up here torn the fuck up, make love to me all night and then leave the next morning with a lie on your tongue as your parting words? Fuck you for that," she barked into the phone. His body roared to life as the image of her taking his cock so well the night before seared his memory.
"I need you. I'll be home tomorrow. Be ready." He licked his lips and tried to catch his breath. Fucking six years of being beside her nonstop and he still couldn't seem to get over her.
"No. I'm not opening my legs to you just because you ask me to. You lied to me. We promised each other we wouldn't do that."
"What was I supposed to do?" He sat up and reached for his beer. "Tell you that I can't do this shit with you and Jon forever? Is that what you want to hear? I'm good sharing you in the bedroom here and there, Katie, but for forever? What is that? A joke?" His skin was heating, his body twitching for release.
"I would never ask that of you." Her voice broke and he hated himself for jabbing at her. He knew better than to start a fight with her over the phone. There was no ability to reach out and hold her or tell her just how sorry he was.
"I'm sorry, baby. I'm just trying to figure this shit out. I don't know what's best for you, but that's what I want to do. I've been living my life with doing what's best for you almost always at the top of the list."
"You're a fucking liar. Stop playing the martyr, Marcus. You told me no eight years ago as we stood beside that railway. You freed me from the trap I'd slipped into and waved goodbye. You could have come with me. You still could." The tears in her voice ripped
his soul in half.
He wanted so badly to tell her that he'd only said no all those years ago because he had no choice. His life for hers. That was the deal. She was free to run - to go, but he wasn't. And here she sat thinking that he'd simply waved her away.
Never.
"I gotta go, baby. I'll see you tomorrow night when I get home. We can talk about this Chicago stuff, and I'll come clean with you." He cleared his throat.
"Bye, Marcus." The phone went dead, and he sat there, listening to the dial tone as a million emotions raced through him.
There was only one way left to go... forward.
Chapter 16
Kate
"Bastard." She threw the phone across the room and finished changing for a night at the club. There was no reason in fighting Marcus. He would win. He always did. He was doing just like he'd done all those years ago - shutting her out. Protecting himself from the inevitable.
"What if it's you?" she screamed into the empty room around her before picking up a vase of half dead flowers and launching them across the room. "What if I choose you?"
Anger burned through the center of her as she gripped the edge of her dresser and pulled, heaving with all of her strength to pull it over.
"What if it's always been you, goddammit?" She was screaming as tears burned her eyes. There was no choice in the future. It was being made for her. It wasn't her path to choose, her right to decide. It never had been. Marcus had the final say.
"Well, fuck you for it, then." She flipped the kitchen table over before dropping to the couch and letting the horror of the last eight years blow over her. Sobs that wracked her entire body pumped through her, pulling her to the floor and leaving her panting for air.
Jon was a good man, and the right choice, but every part of her whispered the truth.
Marcus was her soul mate. The man had pulled her from the belly of hell, and would do it again, and again, and again. He would always be the one.
Too bad he didn't feel the same.
Lying on the floor, she cried herself to sleep, and didn't budge until the middle of the next morning.
*
A groan left her as she pulled herself up the next morning. Resolution settled inside of her. She wasn't going to force anything where Jon and Marcus was concerned. The focus would be getting her club back on track and taking out Billy through nefarious means or by working with the cops, either way.
She fixed her hair and put on a little make-up before locking up and walking to a sandwich shop with a great patio and homemade lemonade. She got a table by herself and sat out in the sun, basking in the freedom that whatever happened wasn't truly up to her. Words were empty, and actions were damning. There was no way to win and live to tell about it.
"I thought I might find you here." Marcus's voice surprised her.
"What are you doing back so soon?" She lifted her sunglasses and stared her oldest friend in the face.
"Can I sit down, or are you waiting on someone?" He smirked and pulled out the chair.
"Of course you can." She picked up her lemonade and took a long drink while she watched him. "Did you take the red-eye?"
"Yeah. I figured I needed to get home and help you with everything." He brushed his hand down his thick chest. "You look good. Hot."
She chuckled. "You're a little bias, or you used to be." Adverting her eyes from him, she watched the pigeons out in the street dance around as a small boy tossed breadcrumbs all around them.
"Kate."
"No. Hush. I'm enjoying the serenity of the moment. I'm going to clean up the club and work on inventory this afternoon, review a few more resumes, and then work the front door tonight." She looked back over at him. "I'm not ready to part with this life just yet. You are, which is okay, but I can't. I need to pretend like tomorrow is going to be similar to yesterday. All right?"
He nodded and picked up the straw she wasn't using. He unwrapped it and nibbled on it as he turned and looked away from her, giving her a chance to study him. The thick muscles of his neck and back bunched as he turned and handed the boy a packet of crackers.
"Get closer. They don't bite, little man." Marcus chuckled and glanced back at her. "Jon's back on the force. We're going to use their help to shut down Billy. I have an ace in the hole from Chicago too, but I need your help."
"You'll always have my help, Marcus. Just tell me where to be and what to wear." She glanced up at the waitress who delivered her sandwich. "Thanks."
"You're not eating all of that, right? It'll go straight to your ass." He lifted his eyebrow and reached for a few of her chips.
"I thought you like big asses." She took a bite of her sandwich and tried to dislodge the pain building at the base of her throat.
"I like your ass, however it comes." He winked and picked up the other half of the sandwich. "There's a huge ball tomorrow night for the Easter weekend. The one they do every year at the Marriott. I need to get Billy there. Can you help me with that?"
"Yes. I'll call him and tell him that I have the information he wants on the drugs in New York, but that I want to be around others when I tell him." She shrugged. Seemed simple enough. Billy liked to outwit the average man, so being at the party and going unnoticed was most likely a hard-on that he wouldn't be able to forgo.
"You'll be with me and Jon the whole night though. No leaving our sides. All right?" He took a big bite of the sandwich and watched her.
"Who did you see in Chicago?" She leaned back in her chair, wanting the truth more than the comfort of not staring the inevitable in the face.
"A mafia group up there that's looking for some help. They need someone to run their narcotics ring, and it seems like a good deal." He licked at his lips. "You and Jon can run the club. You know you can. I'm just getting in the fucking way at this point."
"That’s fine, but I'm not keeping the drug cartel afloat down here. I don't want it." She took another bite of her sandwich, hoping like hell that she could hold herself together through the conversation that was sure to come.
"I know that. I don't want you to. Let it die down, and I'm sure these guys up north will reach in and snag the business from their hub up there." He picked up a napkin and wiped his mouth after shoving the rest of the sandwich in.
"And you're going up there alone?" She reached for her drink as her stomach turned upside down.
"Do you want to go with me?" He reached for her hand, covering his with hers. "To just belong to me? Is that what you want? All these years of us keeping our distance and working to protect each other from this moment? You want the story to end with us in what? A relationship? A marriage?"
She pulled her hand from his slowly and forced a sarcastic smile. "Of course not. I just wondered whether Zak was going with you."
"Oh." Marcus smirked. "Well, shit. You let me look like a dick going on about us. Bitch."
She shrugged and asked for the check. "And what if I did want to go with you? What if I decided that our friendship was the most comfortable thing in my life?"
"You hate this life. Even I'm not enough for you to consider continuing to live in it. It's not just drugs, Kate. I wish it were, but it's death and violence. It's all part of the gig."
"I can be violent." Tears burned her eyes as she took a shallow breath.
"Don't do this, baby." He moved toward her and pulled her from her chair and into his lap as he wrapped her in his arms. "Jon's the right choice, Katie. I'll always be in your life. You know that. This isn't what you want. It never, ever has been. I wanted so much more for you, and yet here we are again all because of my dicked up choices."
She nodded and pressed her face against his neck, breathing in the smell of coming home.
"Right. Okay." She moved back and ran her hands over the strong muscles of his jaw. "One more night."
"Yes. I need one more night with you." He leaned in, pulling her down for a long kiss. It wasn't a kiss that offered comfort or heat, but a parting one. One that bled sorrow and hurt too deep to
ignore.
Kate pulled back and stood up. "You're on the schedule tonight. Don't be late you bastard. Buy our lunch while you're at it."
She turned and walked through the crowd as tears dripped down her face.
"And there you have it," she whispered before jogging across the street and tapping the code on the side of the wall to enter the club.
"Boss? That you?" Jeffery called out from the bar top.
"Yeah. I'm here. We'll all be here tonight." She wiped at her tears. "One last time. One last ride."
Chapter 17
Kate
Everything went smoothly until the sounds of fighting on the dance floor pulled her from the front door and forced her to get into the middle of the fray. A group of girls were squaring off for a fight.
"Oh no the fuck you didn't. He's my man." A tall girl with pink hair screamed at another girl who was far too small to be messing with the big bitch.
"Hey." Kate got in between them. "That's enough. Cut it out or take your asses outside."
"Back off, bitch," the girl to her left barked at her and swung.
Kate moved back and ducked before swinging herself and hitting the girl square in the chin. She turned to the other girl with her hands lifted as if ready to continue the punishment.
"Um, no. Thank you." The girl backed up and half tripped over herself. One of the guys working the bar with Jeffery came over and pulled the first girl off of the floor.
"Anyone else?" Kate glanced around the room. "Hold your liquor or get the fuck out."
"You got this?" Marcus stopped by the floor and lifted his eyebrow at her.
"Yeah. It's all good." She moved past him, rubbing her shoulder by his chest. "Where's Jon? He was supposed to be here an hour ago."
"You want me to call him?" Marcus followed her into the storage room.
"No. Yes. I don't fucking know." She turned around and pressed her hands against the large box in front of her. "I want to be into this place, but I can't. I hate the music. The people. The smells. The fucking fighting and bullshit every night."