by Mia Madison
“You tell me,” he growled as he pressed my open palm firmly against his stiff length.
I gasped when he abruptly wrapped his arms around me, Finley’s coat falling to the floor as he crashed his lips to mine. My knees felt wobbly as I melted into his embrace and my heart thumped hard when he caught my slack and held me upright in his strong arms.
Fuck, I thought as his tongue dipped into my mouth and dominated mine. He was so right.
There was a big difference between the touch of a college-aged boy and a man, and he seemed to be doing everything in his power to illustrate his point.
The only weird thing was that when we finally broke apart and he was staring down at me with lust-filled eyes—none of the arrogance I expected to see was showing on his face.
Quite the opposite, actually. He appeared to be just as shell-shocked as I was.
We stared at each other with matching looks of surprise for a long moment before Joshua abruptly cleared his throat and bent down to pick up my coat. He laid it across the back of the single recliner chair in his living room and I took the liberty of placing my purse down on the same chair. I noticed him kicking his shoes off and lining them against the wall from the corner of my eye, so I bent down and took off my dirty boots, leaving them beside his.
The tension in the air still hadn’t dispelled, so I awkwardly asked, “How about that tour?”
His smile made me feel like I’d done a good job at breaking the ice and when he offered me his hand, I accepted it—hoping he wouldn’t be able to feel the dampness of my palms as he showed me around his home.
6
Joshua’s house was lovely. Well, at least what I’d seen of it was.
He had only shown me the first floor, making a gesture up the stairs and explaining that his bedroom and office were up there and not much else. Since I was partially expecting him just to drag me to his bed and tie me up or something, it was a surprise when he bypassed it entirely and led me back to the kitchen instead. He gestured for me to take a seat at the bar and I leaned my chin against my hand as I watched him buzz around the room.
It soon became clear why he didn’t show me the top floor. He apparently didn’t want to jump past the date portion of the evening before getting me in his bed.
The thought gave me hope that this was about more than just sex to him, but deep in my mind, I knew it meant very little. It wasn’t uncommon for some men to think that buying a girl dinner was a fair exchange for sex. It was essentially the foundation that one night stands were built upon.
So why did tonight feel so different?
Maybe it was because Joshua was actively preparing the meal for me. The closest I had ever come to a man cooking for me was a boyfriend I had in freshman year who thought it’d be romantic to make Ramen noodles for me in his dorm room while he played the standard cliché sex songs softly in the background.
Just thinking about that night was enough to make me shudder.
“You cold?” Joshua asked, pausing in front of the stove. “I can turn the heat up.”
“I’m fine,” I said, dismissing his concern with a wave and a polite smile. In an effort to avoid zoning off into old memories and comparing Joshua to ex-flames again, I slipped off the bar stool and joined him in the kitchen. “Need any help?”
Joshua grinned and shook his head, but still lifted his hand and crooked his fingers in a come-hither motion. “Come here.”
It was just as well that he didn’t need any help because I was seriously lacking in the culinary skills department. Joshua seemed to be surprisingly in his element and I felt a pang of jealousy as I wondered just how many women he cooked for.
I forcefully shoved the thought away and stood in front of him. His arms wrapped around loosely my waist as he continued to add ingredients to the pot like I wasn’t standing directly in his way. The only reason I didn’t feel like a burden was because of the protective way he leaned over me and brushed his lips against my shoulder.
“I hope you like alfredo,” he commented, gesturing to the pot of sauce in front of us. “I thought I’d keep it simple tonight.”
“Doesn’t look simple to me,” I said as I glanced around at all the different items on his counter. “You didn’t have to go through this kind of trouble for me.”
“It’s no trouble,” he easily replied and I could feel his lips curl into a smile against my skin. “I enjoy cooking, especially for a beautiful woman.”
The jealousy resurfaced in an instant. “You do this often, then?”
“Not as much as you might think. But over the years, I suppose I have.”
I sucked in a nervous breath, knowing this was the perfect opening to ask him something that I’d been dying to ask since I first laid eyes on him.
“How old are you?”
I felt his body tense for a fraction of a second, but he managed to relax just as quickly.
“I’ll be forty in March.”
Holy crap, I thought as my eyes slid closed. I knew he was at least in his late thirties, but it was still somewhat of a surprise to hear. The silence became tense and I felt him subtly shifting away like he could tell I was uncomfortable.
“I’m twenty-two,” I abruptly said, responding to the question he didn’t ask.
“I figured as much.”
I glanced over my shoulder, swallowing hard at the frown on his face.
“Does it bother you?”
His eyes lifted to meet mine and he shrugged as he plainly stated, “I thought it would. But no.”
“So you don’t... frequently do this?”
He let out a humorless chuckle and shook his head. “I’ve never fooled around with a student if that’s what you’re asking. And the last time I slept with someone your age was at least a decade ago.”
His admission gave me an equal measure of relief and discomfort. Relief that he didn’t purposely prey on young women, discomfort because it just made our age difference that much more apparent.
“Joshua?”
“Hmm?” he hummed, his attention already back on the pot of sauce.
“What am I doing here?”
He stepped closer, trapping me between his body and the counter. I glanced back just enough to see that while he was still mostly focused on the sauce, the wheels were turning in his head as he considered my question.
“I’m not sure. But I’m glad that you are.”
Finally, his eyes met mine. They were clear and honest, even though his lips were curled down into a frown. I spun myself around in his grasp and gave in to the urge to reach up and touch his smooth jaw.
“So am I.”
“So what are your plans after graduation?” he asked as he refilled my empty wine glass.
It was a question I had tons of practice answering. Unfortunately, the answer changed depending on who I was speaking to. I told my dad one thing, my mom another, and Finley something else. The truth of it was, I had no idea.
I had multiple courses of action that I could take—each one carefully planned and ready for execution—but I didn’t know which one to choose. While all of the options were good, none of them felt…. right.
“I’m not sure yet,” I admitted, telling the truth about my real feelings of the future for the first time. “I’m waiting to decide.”
Joshua raised an eyebrow, his glass of wine freezing mid-air in the ascent to his lips. “Waiting? For what?”
I shrugged, uncomfortable under the scrutiny of his gaze. I was aware of how young and foolish it might have sounded—especially to a man his age—but I finished anyways.
“I’m waiting for my intuition to tell me which path to take. I’m not going to leave school flying blind—I do have plans—but as of right now, I’m undecided.”
Joshua’s eyebrows furrowed together and he leaned back in his chair, giving me a look that was very Professor-like. He sensed my growing frustration and let out a heavy sigh, waving a hand through the air instead of saying whatever it was he’d been thinking.
“Do what you got to do,” he said instead, but something about the cavalier tone of his voice irked me more than his disapproving look had.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Exactly what I said. There was no hidden meaning, Brooke.”
But wasn’t there always a hidden meaning? Wasn’t that just the nature of human beings? And if there really hadn’t been one, why did he sound so… judgmental?
Or was it possible that my defensiveness was kicking in and creating drama when there was really nothing there?
“I don’t understand you,” I said with a frown and a shake of my head.
Joshua laughed outright at that, leaning further back in his seat and clutching at his stomach as his shoulders shook. The sound was infectious and though I tried hard to fight it, I soon found myself chuckling along with him.
“I can’t believe you said that,” Joshua said through his laughter, barely able to calm him down enough to add on, “There’s nothing to understand, angel. I’m a man—I say what I mean. There aren’t any mixed messages. I’m too old for that shit anyways.”
I swallowed and looked away, my eyes lingering on the door of the kitchen for a moment before looking back at him again.
“Is that so? You always say exactly what you mean?”
Joshua’s smile was downright smug. “Yep.”
“Then tell me why I’m here.”
The amusement left his face when he realized I was purposely pushing him for an honest answer. He studied my face for a long while before he slowly pulled the napkin from his lap and placed it on the table. He moved to stand up and for a brief, terrifying moment—I was certain he was going to kick me out.
Then he practically purred, “Shall we finish the tour?”
Between his words and his outstretched hand, the reason I was really here was abundantly clear. The choice of whether or not to go through with it was entirely up to me.
There wasn’t anything to consider. I always knew where this night was going to lead—he’d been upfront about it when he first asked me to drop his class—and I had definitely dressed the part.
So I slid my hand into his and stood up, giving him my most confident smile as I said, “Show me.”
The grin that stretched across his lips said he was going to show me a hell of a lot more than just his house.
7
Joshua hadn’t been lying when he said his entire house wasn’t as lifeless as the living room. With the exception of the kitchen, most of the downstairs level seemed to be largely unused.
But upstairs was like an entirely different house.
He let me peek into his office, which was almost the size of a master bedroom and probably the messiest area of his home. There were shelves filled with books lining the walls and the only other furniture was his large desk, which was covered with stacks of paperwork and his computer.
Though maybe messy was the wrong word. There was clearly an organized system amongst the chaos, though I struggled to see it from the doorway. Cluttered was probably a better fit.
“Bedroom’s this way,” he heatedly whispered, his warm breath gusting across my cheek before he turned so his lips would brush across the shell of my ear. “May I show you why you’re here?”
“Yes, please,” I said softly, gulping when he reached out to close the door to his office before leading me down to the next doorway.
His bedroom wasn’t decorated much either, but it was clearly lived in. I was looking around with curious eyes for photographs or any other personal items when he walked around me, his suit jacket dangling from his fingers. He dropped it on a dresser and began to unbutton the cuffs of his sleeves, watching me with a heated stare as I shuffled on my feet.
Sex wasn’t anything new to me. I wasn’t as experienced as Finley, but I’d had my fair share of boyfriends and flings. But this was something else entirely.
I was stunned silent—unsure of myself and what the hell I was supposed to do.
Joshua didn’t seem to be bothered by my uncertainty. Once his cuffs were undone, he moved directly in front of me, so close that I could feel the heat of his chest through my dress. When his hands rested on my hips and slowly slid up my sides, my nipples hardened in anticipation.
Joshua didn’t disappoint. His thumbs came dangerously close to my breasts before his hands slid around my ribs to my back, easily finding the zipper and easing it all the way down. We were so close together that the dress didn’t immediately fall, but my heart hammered like I was already standing naked before him.
“You can tell me what you like if you want to,” Joshua murmured softly, stepping back just enough to let the dress fall to a puddle of red on the floor. His eyes swept up and down my body as he growled, “But I’d be happy to find out for myself.”
I didn’t say it because his lips captured mine, but I was happy to let him find out himself. Because the truth was—I wasn’t entirely sure what I liked. My pleasure had never been a high priority in my sexual relationships in the past, so with the exception of what I’d learned from masturbating, I was pretty much clueless.
Plus, he seemed to figure out how to work my body pretty quickly in his office. I was more than happy to let him take control if it was going to be even half as good as that had been.
He pulled away from my lips with a sound that was close to being a snarl, closing his eyes briefly in what looked like an effort to regain control. Once he was stable, he opened his eyes and gripped my chin, forcing my gaze to stay locked with his.
“You’re sure about this?” he asked, a hint of uncertainty in his voice. “I need to hear you say it, beautiful.”
“I’m sure,” I panted, nodding my head as much as his grip would allow. “Absolutely sure.”
“Anything in particular you want?”
I thought about it for a split second and shook my head when I came up empty.
“I just want you, Joshua. Do whatever you want to me.”
His eyes went wide for a moment before they narrowed and the wicked grin returned to his lips.
“Those are dangerous words to say to a man like me, baby. You might want to rephrase that statement.”
He was giving me one last out and I knew that after this—there wouldn’t be another chance. I could see the tense lines in his body just waiting for that final confirmation before snapping, and once he did... there was no turning back.
With a determination I didn’t even know I possessed, I looked him square in the eye and said, “I say what I mean. No mixed messages.”
After I turned his own words back on him—essentially giving him permission to take me in whatever way he pleased—all hell broke loose. Joshua kissed me again, the movements of his lips and tongue against mine nothing short of ferocious. I could only moan against him and try to keep up, gasping into his mouth when I felt one hand expertly pop the clasp of my strapless bra before he dropped it to the floor.
I expected his attention to switch to my breasts, but Joshua surprised me by picking me up by the hips and depositing me on the foot of his bed, tugging my panties down my legs while I attempted to wriggle further up the mattress.
Joshua laughed and shook his head, gripping my hips and pulling me back down where he wanted me. He forcefully spread my thighs apart before stepping between my legs and grinding the hard length beneath his slacks directly against my sopping wet core.
“You want this?” he growled, gyrating himself obscenely against me. “Tell me you want my cock filling your pussy.”
“Yesss,” I moaned, squirming against him when I felt the rough fabric rub against my clit. “I want it. I want your cock in me.”
“You sure about that?” he asked with a teasing grin as his hands slid up my stomach and stopped at the underside of my breasts. “Cause you’re not gonna want anyone else after I take you. I’ll ruin you, baby.”
As if he was illustrating his point, he ground directly against my clitoris at the exact same moment he allowed his hands to grip my breas
ts, pinching and twisting my nipples until they were so tight that I whimpered with a combination of pain and need.
Joshua leaned over my body and brought his mouth to one nipple, soothing the ache with his wet tongue even as he continued to painfully tweak the other. He lavished one side with attention before switching to the other and I felt my back arching from the bed, silently begging for more.
“Love these,” he groaned against my skin, using both hands to squeeze and jiggle my tits before he buried his face against them and kissed every inch of skin he came into contact with.
The need in my body rose with every touch of his lips and before I could even process my body’s actions, I had my legs wrapped around his hips while I ground myself against his erection. It wasn’t until I felt Joshua pulling away that I even realized I was doing it.
“Such an eager little thing,” he groaned as he reached back to unhook my thighs from his waist. “Relax, Brooke.”
I felt like my body was about to explode and I didn’t understand how he could be so damn calm considering how hard he was. When I reached up to attempt to take off his shirt, he gripped my wrists and pinned them to the bed on either side of me.
“You can touch me all you want after I get my fill of you,” he promised as his eyes traveled slowly down my naked body. “Do you understand?”
I did—more than he probably realized. Because as soon as the words left his mouth, I understood that the only thing that was keeping him so composed was the barrier of his clothing between us. That and the agreement that I wouldn’t touch him yet.
As his fingers ghosted up my sides, I wondered if he’d ever let me turn the tables on him. If he’d let me undress him and get my fill while I remained clothed and in control. I doubted I’d be very good at taking the lead even if he allowed me the opportunity, and the fact that I was already thinking about the possibility of a repeat performance cut my thoughts short.
Instead of chiding myself for hoping for more, I focused my thoughts on the way his hands felt as they touched me. My own fingers flexed into his sheets to keep from reaching for him, desperate to feel his skin against mine.