Which he did. And it took her breath away. Eli’s smile was like the first rain after a long drought. She’d never been able to resist it.
She ducked her head and hurried to the porch to call Nate for dinner. She’d make it quick, be reserved. Not once would she remember how good his kisses felt or how deep he’d come inside her. So deep, she’d felt a sort of homecoming.
Feeling as though she were wading through knee-high mud, she continued on her way, castigating herself for romanticizing the two younger MacAfees.
Oh hell, I’m still in love with them.
Watching Angel trying hard not to meet their gazes was kind of fun.
Nathaniel MacAfee spooned two heaping tablespoons of chopped jalapeno peppers onto his chili and then settled back to observe his brothers.
Eli tried to keep the conversation flowing, talking about the weather, asking her about her time at UT. But Angel kept her responses short, answering yes or no whenever she could get away with it.
Brand was the most fun to watch. He wore his stone face, but the way his mouth thinned now and then as he watched Eli try to sweet talk Angel into a better mood was more telling. His brother was frustrated—and getting angry about it. He’d been the one who’d reminded them to give her space, and yet Nate suspected he was the most anxious to rope her in closer.
Nate couldn’t really blame him. Brand had never experienced her kisses. While Eli had courted her with flowers and the occasional peck inside the barn, and Nate had managed to get a whole lot further because he was good at separating a pretty girl from her panties, Brand was clumsy. Never knew what to say. So he said nothing.
Nate almost felt sorry for him. But Brand had been the one who’d removed her from their home, sending her packing so abruptly his two brothers had been left in shock.
He remembered cornering Brand in the tackle room after he’d come back from the airport as surly as anyone had ever seen him.
“What the hell did you do, Brand?”
“What did I do?” Brand had advanced on him with a deadly glare, his fists rising. “Look to your own actions, little brother. She was under our roof, in our care.”
“And I took real good care of her, didn’t I? You saw her.”
He’d never seen the punch coming, but he’d deserved it. Not that he’d realized how badly he’d overstepped until time had passed and he’d gained some perspective. Really, what had changed him was Amelia’s subtle shunning.
Angel’s mom, who’d been like his own mom from nearly the day she’d arrived to take over the house after their own parents’ deaths, hadn’t talked to him for months.
Unable to stand the silence, he’d approached her one day, ready to apologize.
“You think saying sorry is going to make this right?” she’d said, then huffed a breath and continued beating her bread dough.
“I didn’t mean to make a mess of everything.”
“You didn’t mean anything laying with my baby? That’s supposed to make me feel better?”
He’d lowered his head. “I love her, Mama Amelia.”
She’d covered the dough with a dish towel and gone to the sink, not saying a word. But he’d waited her out, staring at his toes, until she’d come to him and cupped both sides of his face. “For my baby to do what she did, she has to love you too. The only problem, mijo, is that she also loves your brothers. Now she feels bad about herself, not only because she disappointed me, but because she hurt them. Worse, she no longer has a home.”
“That’s not true.”
“Tell that to her heart. She’s alone now. Her handsome princes scorned her.”
“But what can I do?”
“Nothing for now. Let her finish school. Let her think about what she wants. If she’s meant to be here, she’ll return.”
Patience had never been Nate’s strong suit. He didn’t know how many times he’d been tempted to climb into his truck and make the trip to Austin to see her. But Brand had told him to stay away. Amelia had echoed his warnings.
So he’d waited. His brothers would probably die of shock if they knew he hadn’t slept with another girl since Angel. No one could compare. When he was alone at night, he fisted himself, remembering how it had felt to hold her soft body against his and slide deep into her slick channel. Everything about that night was engraved on his memory.
Hell, he was getting hard now just thinking about it.
Brand cleared his throat and aimed a glare his way. Then he tilted his head toward Angel.
With a start, he realized the conversation had gone quiet. He sat straighter in his chair. “So, Angel, you seein’ anyone?”
* * * * *
Angel busied herself at the sink after she’d shooed the men out of the kitchen. Each in their own way had shown reluctance to leave her alone. Perhaps Nate not as much. Since he’d asked his ill-timed question and received deadly glares from his siblings, he’d gone silent, the tips of his ears turning red as he’d dropped his gaze to his bowl and stuck a spoon in his mouth.
She’d been happy that the brothers had turned their attention to him, because she’d grown flushed at his question. How pathetic would it sound to them if they knew she hadn’t dated anyone all throughout college? Study dates, coffee dates, yes, but she’d been firm when an invitation was issued and had declined, saying she was taken.
Not that she imagined any future here at the ranch, but she’d loved the three of them for so long, she didn’t think she had room in her heart for another man.
“You’ve had a long day. Why don’t you let me help? I can dry the dishes.”
She didn’t look back at Eli, just listened as he strolled quietly toward her. “You have a dishwasher. No one dries dishes anymore. The few pots I have left can drip-dry.”
“Angel…”
“Eli.” She aimed a baleful glance his way. “Spit it out. I’m tired, and I’d like to retire to my room.”
“The moon’s pretty tonight. Big and full. Maybe you’d join me on the porch for a little while? I promise I won’t ask you about any boyfriends.” He wrinkled his nose. “You’re gonna be here a while. Wouldn’t you like to have someone you can talk to?”
Her shoulders drooped. “You always were the one I brought my problems to.”
“Unless they were really big problems—and then you sought out Brand.”
“Yeah. Kansas going lame was pretty traumatic,” she said, a smile tugging at her mouth.
“You wailed like a banshee then wet his shirt you cried so hard.”
She laughed ruefully. “Over a pebble in her shoe. I felt really stupid when he pointed out the problem.”
“See? I made you laugh.”
“You always could,” she said softly. Had she really thought she could keep walls up to close him out? “I suppose I could keep you company for a little while.”
With a grin, he offered her the crook of his arm, and although she knew touching him was a mistake, she couldn’t bear disappointing him. She let him lead her outside to the steps.
They sat side by side, bathed in moonlight, as romantic a setting as any girl could want. That the cowboy sitting beside her was every bit as handsome as any prince from a fairytale was simply something she chose to ignore.
“Amelia says you started work at an architectural firm.”
“I’m a receptionist. That’s what college degrees get you these days.”
“Ouch.”
“Yeah. But it pays well enough.” She slumped. “The job will probably be gone by the time I get back. You don’t work for two months then ask for several weeks off.”
“It’s nice of you to fill in for your mother.”
“Nice? I’m annoyed. And a little scared,” she said, darting a glance at him.
“Understandable,” he said gently. “But you know we’ve all missed you.”
; “All?” She shook her head. “Brand didn’t look happy to see me. Probably remembers pulling me out of that bedroom.” She immediately regretted mentioning the incident and closed her eyes. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to dredge up old history.”
“You can talk to me about it…if you like.”
She gave a strangled laugh. “Do you want the down and dirty details? Want to know how I lost my mind and let Nate…do those things?” She let her head fall backward as she gazed at the pretty moon. “I regret that night. Not because I didn’t love every minute of what we did, but because of the pain I caused…everyone, but especially to my mama. She didn’t deserve to have a whore for a daughter.”
“You’re not a whore!”
The voice came loud and so near she jumped to her feet and whirled.
Brand stepped out of the darkness, his face as dark and frightening as it had been four years ago.
“I have to go,” she said, her voice breaking. She ran past Brand, who kept looking straight ahead, and didn’t stop until she reached her room.
“I should never have come back,” she said, climbing onto the bed and curling her body into a miserable ball. “He still hates me.”
And then she sobbed, because while she knew she could repair her relationships with Eli and Nate, she didn’t stand a chance with their more distant brother. And she needed his approval most. Always had. He’d been father, brother and best friend all rolled up into one, which was what made her feel even more deeply ashamed, because she wished she could add lover to the list.
Brand didn’t breathe until the sounds of Angelina’s running steps faded.
“Well, that went well,” Eli said, sounding disgusted. He stood and dusted off the back of his jeans, all the while shaking his head. “You shouted at her? What the fuck?”
He deserved the condemnation, he supposed. “I didn’t like hearin’ her say that. It’s my fault she feels that way.”
“Yeah, it is,” Eli said, his gaze steady. “What are you gonna do about it?”
Brand ground his jaw shut. He didn’t have a clue. “I should talk to her.”
“Maybe you should give her some space.”
But Brand couldn’t let it lie. Not overnight. He couldn’t leave her thinking he was angry, or worse, let her continue to feel bad about herself.
He left Eli and made his way back inside, through the kitchen, to her door. About to rap it with his knuckles, he froze at the sound of crying. Brand leaned his forehead against the door and squeezed his eyes shut. Damn, damn, damn. Anger at himself burned in his gut.
He was the wrong brother to handle this. But he was responsible for so much hurt. Much as he wished he wasn’t and knowing he’d probably just make things worse, he leaned away and knocked.
“Go away,” came a surly reply.
“Angelina, open the door.”
All sounds quieted.
“I’m not leaving until you talk to me.”
“You never want to talk.”
Her voice came from the other side of the door. He could imagine they were only separated by a few inches of wood—the closest they’d been in years.
“Angel…”
She gave a heavy sigh, and then turned the lock. “Come in.”
Into her room? He’d never been inside while she’d lived here, although after she’d gone he’d often come to sit on her bed to talk to her whenever the loneliness crowded in. He turned the handle and stepped into her bedroom.
Angel sat on her mattress, cross-legged, gazing back at him. Her black eyelashes were starred, sticking together because of her tears.
Since he didn’t want to tower over her, and the chair in front of her vanity looked too delicate, he sat on the edge of the bed. He kept his gaze on his hands fisted on his thighs. “I’m sorry I shouted. But I’m not sorry for what I said.”
She snorted softly. “That was an apology?”
He aimed a frown at her. “I don’t have much practice.”
One corner of her mouth twitched. “I bet you don’t. Don’t get out much, do you?”
“Do you mean on dates?”
“Yeah, with women.”
Her tone was warm but slightly sarcastic. “I don’t date at all, Angel. I haven’t kissed a woman in years. Maybe it’s unnatural, but since you came of age, there hasn’t been anyone I wanted more.”
Her mouth dropped an inch and then snapped closed. Her cheeks grew pink. “That was to the point.”
“I don’t know how to be any other way.”
Her chest expanded with her next shaky breath. “But you sent me away. Did I disappoint you that much?”
The quaver of her voice caused a pain inside his chest. “You were eighteen. What I wanted was wrong. The fact my brothers were after you, that only added to my worries. I didn’t want you trapped by a pregnancy before you had a chance to see a bit of the world.”
“I was on the pill. Mama told you that. And I only saw Austin.”
“That’s hardly Texas.”
She ducked her head, smiling slightly. “I never wanted to be anywhere but here,” she whispered.
Brand dropped his head, staring again at his fists. “I’m sorry, Angel. It’s all I can say. You have an education now. You’re grown. You can make your own choice.”
“But I can’t.”
He shot her a sideways glance. There were tears in her eyes. “Are you afraid of hurting one of us?”
Her chin trembled. “That, and…” Her gaze went to the wall, and she released a slow breath. “I love you. All three of you. So you see…”
He stopped breathing when he heard the I love you. The second sentence was disappointing, but better than a rejection. She didn’t know it yet, but they were going to make this easy for her.
Brand reached out for her hand and held it inside his. It was slender, soft and so small. He worried now about so many things. “Will you trust me? I know I haven’t given you much reason, but before I sent you away, we were friends, weren’t we?”
A tear rolled down one cheek, and she wiped it away with the back of her other hand. “You were always quiet, Brand, remote. A little too removed from me for us to be besties. But I did trust you. When I was scared, you were the one I ran to.”
“I was older. I had no business lustin’ after you.”
“Lusting?” Her plump mouth twitched again. “There’s only twelve years between us.”
He narrowed his eyes. “And back then, I could still see you in pigtails.”
“Do you see me as a child now?”
He tightened his jaw. “No,” he rasped.
“Brand…” She paused and bit her lip.
“Out with it. We’re bein’ honest here.”
“I was never sure you wanted me,” she whispered. “You never kissed me. Eli brought me flowers and kissed me in the barn. And you know what Nate and I did.”
He felt a muscle jump at the side of his jaw and forced himself to relax. “I wanted kisses, Angel. I wanted you in my bed. Don’t ever think I didn’t.”
She shook back her hair and angled her chin higher. “And now? Do you still want me?”
Brand saw the challenge in the jut of her chin, but he also saw the vulnerability. There in her doe-like eyes. And the only thing he could think to do, because he sure as hell couldn’t force another word past his tight throat, was lean toward her and kiss her.
Chapter Three
Angelina couldn’t believe it. Brand was kissing her. And despite the fact the man hadn’t had a date in years, he kissed really well. Thoroughly. Nothing tentative or testing.
First, his lips latched on hers, suctioning gently to seal their mouths. Then his tongue thrust insistently between her lips to stroke her tongue. His kiss was carnal and commanding. And all her fears melted. Her body warmed, and she needed to be closer. She leaned into hi
m.
Brand released her hand and gripped her waist, pulling her over his lap so that she straddled him.
With her thighs spread, she was as close as she could be with clothes on. Her breasts rubbed against his chest. Her pussy ground against his hardening cock.
Brand broke the kiss first. “Do you feel that, Angel?” he whispered. “That’s how much I want you. Why I never find the right words.”
He didn’t need words when his hands forced her to ride him.
She moved against the hard ridge and whimpered. Lord, she wanted him. Four years hadn’t changed anything.
One hand slid from her waist to her breasts, and he gave her a squeeze. “That night, when I walked in on you and Nate, I didn’t make my presence immediately known. I watched as you came. You were wild. Touching yourself here.” He bent her backward, supporting her with one hand and nuzzling her breast through her shirt.
If he’d asked her to strip naked, she wouldn’t have denied him, even if letting him love her would have complicated things. His touch felt too good.
He mouthed her, pulling with his lips, then his teeth, centering on the tightening bud beneath her shirt.
And then he halted, pressed his face between her breasts and drew in a deep breath before straightening. “I’m sorry.”
“You keep saying that.”
“I didn’t come here to make love to you. I came to make sure you knew I wasn’t angry with you.”
Angelina quivered. Pulling back from the precipice was almost painful—she wanted him that much.
“We’ve been apart for four years,” he said. “We should take time gettin’ to know each other—who we are now.”
But he’d never changed. She knew who he was. More mature than she’d been four years ago, she realized his silences and his stony face were masks. Because he always had to be the strong one, he thought he couldn’t let anyone see his heart.
Understandable, given the fact he’d been running the ranch and raising two younger siblings since he was twenty. And then she’d come along, and he’d taken on the responsibility of keeping her safe, something that must have complicated his feelings for her when he realized he was attracted.
Family Values Page 2