The Dark Side of Love

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The Dark Side of Love Page 81

by Rafik Schami


  And by the way, the neighbours above you are rich students from Saudi Arabia. They’re not interested in anyone else in the building, and they don’t know any of the others there. The neighbours below you are old and hard of hearing, but I’ll drop in today and let them know a cousin of my friend is staying in her apartment for a few weeks, and he needs to be left in peace because he’s writing a book.”

  Laila looked into Farid’s eyes. She did not, as usual, feel his erotic attraction. He was a helpless child now, her child, and she would protect him as she had in the past when she first held him in her arms.

  A flicker of hope flared up in him when he entered his new hiding place, and after a hot shower he slept soundly again for the first time in weeks. But two days later that hope was destroyed. By chance, a woman in the building next door saw someone slipping into the apartment by night. She took Farid for a burglar and alerted the police. The young CID officer who made the arrest, First Lieutenant Sidki, was astonished when a Major Mahdi Said of the secret service phoned later to congratulate him. “You have taken a dangerous terrorist out of circulation.”

  241. Lonely Night

  Rana had heard only briefly from Laila, and suddenly she was alone with her horror. There was no one she could talk to. Dunia was away, Claire was too desperate herself for Rana to hope for any comfort from her, and Laila wasn’t answering the phone or opening her door. Claire explained that she felt guilty about Farid’s arrest. She ought to have warned him about the over-zealous neighbour.

  Night lay heavy on Rana. She couldn’t sleep. What are they doing to him now, she wondered? The Radicals are in a worse position than anyone because they took up arms against the regime, like the Muslim Brotherhood. They’ll torture him, and here I am lying in a soft bed next to a spineless army officer who’ll do anything not to rub the authorities up the wrong way.

  Her head felt as if it would explode. She got out of bed. I ought to have hidden Farid here, she told herself. No one would have thought of that, and if they did I’d have been arrested too, and my misery would have come to a fitting end. She drew aside the curtains over the bedroom window. The neon lights over the cinema sign were turned off, but she could clearly make out the striking face of Anthony Quinn as Zorba the Greek.

  Barefoot, she left the bedroom, quietly opened the door leading up to the top floor, and stopped for a moment. A fresh breeze drew her on and up. On the roof, she breathed more easily. A few cars were driving by down below, nearly all of them taxis picking up drunks from the nightclubs and taking them home at this time of night. Farid would certainly be in the camp for “dangerous elements”, as the government and her husband described their political opponents – somewhere far away in the desert. He might be asleep at this hour, but did he think of her when he was awake? She listened for his voice calling inside her, but she couldn’t hear anything.

  Someone in the building next door was trying to find a broadcasting station. His radio babbled a symphony of many different sounds. When it stopped abruptly, an alarming silence filled the sky. Rana closed her eyes, and imagined Farid lying on the couch in her studio.

  Two cats were hissing at each other on a nearby roof. Then the darkness swallowed them up. “Where are you, my darling?” she whispered. An airplane rent the silence. The windows of her studio vibrated. She wanted to take only one plane flight, with Farid out of this country, never mind where so long as she was with him. But his feet dragged so heavily. He clung to Damascus. The city was a part of his soul, though to her it was a cage. She saw the world outside, but couldn’t get out through the strong mesh of the wire netting.

  She went to the edge of the roof and looked through a gap in the wooden fence. All windows were shut now. People were sleeping behind them, with their daytime masks and their false teeth lying on their bedside tables. She had a mask too. She wasn’t wearing it now, but it was always ready to hand, and she put it on whenever her husband or anyone else came near her.

  “Farid,” she whispered, “can you hear me? You must stop wanting to change things! Listen to me. Let people live the lives of their own time, and let us save our love.”

  Rain began to fall. She sat down on a chair; she wasn’t cold. Over the last few years he hadn’t been able to leave the rest of the world behind as he once did. He suffered when he was enjoying her company because the outside world was suffering. He wore a mask too, but he thought it was his real face, and that saddened her. When day dawned she began to freeze. Only now did she notice that she was wet to the skin.

  “Come, my child,” said her father, taking her hand. She was happy, smiled at him, and went downstairs almost hovering, she felt so light. If her mother and Rami hadn’t been standing there she would have thought she was in a dream.

  “The doctor will be here soon,” said her husband, and for a moment she thought someone must have had an accident.

  BOOK OF LAUGHTER IV

  He who sows suspicion reaps traitors.

  DAMASCUS, 1965 – 1968

  242. Poetry

  When Josef’s favourite poet, Nuri Hakim, was arrested, the intellectuals in the Café Havana said Hakim was lucky, for President Baidan, after all, was more humane than his predecessor, and hadn’t had the poet’s wife arrested too, or his three children, or his father.

  Many of the guests in the Café Baladi didn’t know who Hakim was, but they knew he was accused of blasphemy. He could consider himself lucky, for Al-Hallaj had been crucified for making similar remarks, and Hakim was still alive.

  The intellectuals in the Café Kanyamakan, who sympathized with the Muslim Brotherhood, denounced President Baidan as weak, and suspected that he hadn’t flung the poet into prison at all, but hidden him away in a villa with a bodyguard to protect him from the anger of the faithful.

  The intellectuals in the Café Journal suspected provocation instigated by the Israelis. At a time when Damascus, under the courageous President Baidan, was challenging imperialism, along comes someone publishing a poem in a state newspaper full of linguistic errors, stylistic howlers, and injuries to the religious feelings of mankind, and getting it past the censor.

  Josef mourned at length for the frail little poet, and pinned the poem to the wall beside his bed. Religions were works of art, and should not be practised but admired in museums, Nuri Hakim had written. He was condemned to fifteen years in jail.

  243. Adding Up the Truth

  Munir was a born mathematician. He shone in his department at the university, and if his professors respected anyone, they respected him.

  He was always coming into the cafeteria telling people things he had found out, and Farid had discovered then, for the first time, that maths was not a dry subject. When Munir proved mathematically why something in politics or the economy didn’t work, you were soon in fits of laughter.

  One day he came in with a thick exercise book, looking as if he hadn’t had much sleep.

  “Look at this,” he said. “I’ve just been working it out: our country loses as many working days a year because of Ramadan alone as Britain has lost in all its strikes since the Second World War.”

  No one could believe that, but Munir set out all his statistics and calculations. It was obvious that during Ramadan the entire country was operating on the back burner. A Muslim Brother waxed indignant and attacked Munir, but they confined themselves to verbal fencing, to the amusement of the students in the cafeteria.

  But one day Munir had worse on his mind. He used to listen to the news every morning before coming to the university, and one day he began meticulously writing down the losses allegedly suffered by Israel in its military confrontations with the Arab countries or the thirteen groups of Palestinian freedom fighters. Since January 1965 the Palestinians had been plastering the walls of the city of Damascus with reports of their huge successes, never guessing that Munir was carefully writing it all down.

  One April morning in 1967 he came into the cafeteria, climbed on a chair and asked for silence. Because it was Mun
ir the students did fall silent at once, although they wouldn’t usually even in the lecture hall.

  “Dear friends and comrades,” he began, almost inaudibly.

  “Louder!” shouted his fellow students at the back of the big room. Munir cleared his throat. “Dear friends and comrades!” he repeated. “It is my privilege to announce that Israel has finally been defeated. According to the casualty figures of the dead on all fronts, there isn’t a single Israeli left capable of bearing arms. Any survivors are severely injured and lying in the ruins of bridges, buildings, and the burning remains of their military vehicles, helicopters, and tanks, all destroyed by our brave men, so now we must allow humanitarian aid to get through to those poor wounded Israelis, as we’ve been in duty bound to do ever since Saladin’s time.”

  A day later he disappeared. His father made valiant efforts on his behalf, and was even willing to sign a statement saying that his son had been crazy from childhood on. He thought it would be only a formality enabling the state to save face if it let Munir go after accusing him of disseminating pro-Israeli propaganda.

  But his father was wrong. Munir really had gone crazy.

  BOOK OF HELL II

  Those who come to Tad are lost. Those who leave Tad are reborn.

  TAD, 200 KM NORTH-EAST OF DAMASCUS, APRIL 1968 – APRIL 1969

  244. The Way to Golgotha

  From Damascus they drove along the main road as it wound north through the bleak landscape like a black snake in flight. After about twenty kilometres the column of trucks turned off along into the road going east. When the camp of Gahan was left behind, they all knew their destination: Tad.

  Night fell like a heavy cloak on the earth, and the trucks jolted over potholes and rocks. The light of the headlamps danced wildly across the plain.

  They were a hundred and fifty prisoners in four trucks, accompanied by several small transporter vans each carrying ten armed soldiers.

  Farid crouched on the floor of the truck with his eyes closed. Those terrible days passed through his mind again: the shock as he sat in the kitchen reading the newspaper, and suddenly heard the noise of the police wrenching the front door of the apartment off its hinges. Then being handed over to the secret service next evening, an elaborately staged performance. They acted as if he were an Israeli general. He sat at the back of the police car with his hands and feet bound, with an officer on each side of him.

  Through the windshield he had seen people bound for home, laden with shopping bags, laughing and gesticulating. It was still chilly outside, but you could already feel that spring was coming. People walked with a livelier step, took their time, strolled for pleasure.

  “See that, you bastard?” asked the officer to his right, in a strong southern accent. “Any of them interested in you? You want to liberate those donkeys? They’d sell their country and their honour for a bag of candies.”

  “And their mothers into the bargain,” agreed the man on Farid’s other side. He had a scarred, fleshy face, like a crook in a bad caricature. The driver cast a nasty glance at the pair of them in the rear-view mirror.

  “Yes, right,” said the first secret service man, returning to the subject. “And back home they’ll get under the shower, stuff their bellies, goggle at a crime movie on TV, and screw all night. And you’ll be executed before you’ve had any fun out of life at all.”

  Farid felt desperate. He longed for Rana, and was ashamed of himself for not listening to her in time.

  After torture and interrogation, he was finally tried by a military tribunal in the cellar of the secret service building, and was condemned to life imprisonment in a labour camp. His crime was described as conspiracy against the Fatherland. He had not been allowed a defence lawyer.

  When he woke up again on the flatbed of the truck, day was beginning to dawn. It was cold. The trucks were still driving with their headlamps on. They were just coming to a hilly region, and they stopped briefly at a barrier. Brakes squealed. Beyond the rusty barrier the road ran on through the endless sand like a dark and broken thread.

  Most of the detainees had been woken by the squealing brakes, and thought they had arrived, but a little later the column continued on its way. After a while they drove past a double fence. The camp was visible now and then through the sand dunes. Farid saw two large rows of huts with metal roofs. Finally the road described a sharp right bend, and the trucks stopped. A cloud of very fine sand trickled down on the prisoners.

  “We’re there,” someone said softly.

  The camp was in a hollow. No one driving a car on the main traffic routes through the desert to Palmyra, Homs, or Iraq would see that a prison with over two thousand inmates and guards was hidden here.

  245. Reception

  It was just after seven when Farid jumped down from the truck. He saw a horrific panorama before him. How could such a huge camp exist in this wilderness of sand and stones?

  From the square where the trucks and vans had stopped, he could see both gates. The main gate faced north, the other gate east to a low-lying stone quarry that yawned open like a black muzzle. The rock here was basalt. Farid’s eyes went in alarm to the double fence of dense barbed wire, with a death zone several metres wide in the middle.

  Armed soldiers stood behind weather-beaten windows in the tall watch towers at the four corners of the camp. Each of them had a platform with movable searchlights on it.

  Beyond the large main gate there was a low, two-storey, grey concrete building on the right. Farid counted sixteen large huts in two rows behind it. The two palm trees on the exercise ground were a strange sight; their leaves were the only green thing as far as the eye could see.

  The camp commandant, Captain Garasi, received them at the gate. He was surrounded by officers, soldiers, and civilians, and he had a face like a bulldog’s. Later, Farid found this first impression of his confirmed; he was known as Bulldog to the inmates who had been here for some time.

  The captain’s bearing was stiff, as if he were under the influence of drugs. His grey hair together with his low officer’s rank showed that he had joined the army as a private soldier and worked his way up. Anyone who joined with a high school diploma was a captain by the age of twenty-eight at the latest. The Bulldog must be in his late fifties.

  For some reason the officers kept the new prisoners waiting a long time. Farid was freezing in the cold dusk of dawn, and felt how empty his stomach was.

  “It is my duty,” the camp commandant began after an eternity, “in the name of His Excellency President Amran, to drain the poison with which you injure the Fatherland and its people, you … you damn mangy dogs.”

  They could hear how difficult he found speaking publicly, how bad his articulation was, and how stiff the sentences he had learned by heart sounded. Only the abuse, uttered in a southern accent, carried complete conviction.

  “If one of my officers, soldiers, or guards gives you an order I expect unconditional obedience, or you’ll rue the day your mothers bore you a thousand times over. His Excellency has given me a free hand to do anything I like with you.”

  As if at a word of command the guards, who until now had been looking bored, made for the prisoners. Soon after that the air was full of dust and screams.

  Farid particularly noticed one of the guards, an old man of about seventy. He had been standing close to the commandant all the time, leaning on a stick. Farid had taken him for a medical orderly or the captain’s factotum. But the old man was the first to attack the prisoners, hitting out mercilessly and with sadistic delight. Whenever Farid raised his head he caught sight of him again. A time came when he himself was in the terrible old man’s reach, and could see him salivating and whinny with pleasure as every blow went home.

  Bleeding, and with the last of his strength, Farid reached the hut allotted to him. It was Number 5, in the front row of huts and level with the palm trees. He had a place near the east-facing entrance. The huts had only metal gratings over them at both ends, so that the inmates
could be checked any time.

  From his place, he could see the east gate leading to the basalt quarry, the soldiers’ barracks, and the kitchen directly opposite the administration building, as well as part of the monastery ruins. Apparently the solitary confinement cells were in their cellars. Close to the ruins stood another small, grey building. That, Farid soon found out, was the former death row, where condemned men used to spend their last night of life. But after a prison riot in 1960, executions at Tad had been banned. The building contained six large cells, the only ones to contain two comfortable plank beds each. Farid was told by Ali Abusaid, a Satlan supporter who had been in Tad for four years, that Garasi put his favourites in there, so the inmates called the place Garasi’s Hotel.

  Farid’s eyes wandered to the hospital. “How many doctors work there?” he asked, leaning on the grating.

  Ali Abusaid laughed. “One. Dr. Josef Maqdisi.”

  “Only one doctor for two thousand people?” Farid was indignant.

  “If only he really were,” replied Abusaid. “He’s a swine, not a doctor. But the hospital’s another story. I’ll tell you later.”

 

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