by Amira Rain
In a low voice, Jake asserted that he’d gotten me the same.
Whipping her face toward him, Jen gave him a death glare for the ages before slowly returning her gaze to me with her expression softening. “This dumb-head almost got me kicked out of the sandwich shop today. The only way I avoided that was by putting a hundred-dollar bill in the employee lady’s tip cup. After that, she took my side in the fight and even put an extra cookie in your boxed lunch. I think it was a white chocolate chip.”
I’d just taken that cookie out of the box, and I now took a little bite. “Mm. It’s delicious.”
While I awkwardly began eating my lunch, we all fell silent briefly until Jen suddenly looked down at her feet, snorting.
“Lost one of my damn shoes on the way here. One of the ducks probably got it by now.”
Confused, I glanced over at her. “Ducks?”
“Yeah. Me, David, and Sean picked some up from the Amish farm this morning when I got the idea that I want to raise some ducks here on the farm. Me and David are even gonna install a little pond thingy for them.” Becoming noticeably calmer by the minute, Jen paused to pop another clear gummy bear in her mouth. “It’s gonna be really awesome…and even all the Amish people thought my idea to have a duck pond sounds really cool. Too bad they didn’t tell me that the ducks would have such out-of-control appetites. They were all trying to bite on the upholstery in David’s car on the way here, which…honestly, I could relate to. I’ve been that hungry before. If they gobble my shoe up before I can get back to it, I won’t yell at them.”
Looking uncomfortable, David suddenly cleared his throat. “That’s actually part of the reason that I followed you down here, Jen. I just wanted to let you know that Wanted just chased one of the ducks into the woods by the house. Somehow, at the same time, three of the other ducks entered the house and scared Carol. The fifth duck got up on the roof of your car and was defecating all over when I last saw it.”
After tossing her package of gummy bears on the table, Jen leaned over with her elbows on her knees, burying her face in her hands with a deep sigh. She sighed once more, adding a faint groan to the tail end of this one, before finally uncovering her face to look up at David. “If you wouldn’t mind, please go back into Sweetwater and buy five playpens. They’ll have to work until we can install the pond and some kind of a fence around it.”
David nodded. “Gotcha.” He turned and took two sprinting steps back up the path but then stopped suddenly and turned. “Oh, Jen? I just realized that most ducks are able to fly…so, I don’t think the playpen idea is going to work.”
Jen groaned, throwing her head back. “God dammit. Well, until we get the pond installed with some kind of a special retaining dome above it, can we just have the ducks live in tents or something in the meantime? Like, what about those huge tents that people get to have graduation parties in their backyards? What if we get one of those and install some kind of netting around it or something…or maybe even drywall. We could put air conditioning in the tent then. The ducks might really appreciate that on these hot August days.”
While Jen had been speaking, David had developed something like an expression of faint amusement, maybe faint amusement that he was trying to hide. However, coming over to kneel down by her chair now, he took on an expression more serious before speaking to her in a low voice.
“Remember what that Amish couple said, about the ducks being more wild creatures than pets? And remember how they said that if we put a little pool out, the ducks will probably stay near for at least a little while, and then when we build the pond, probably even more ducks will join them?”
Frowning, Jen sighed. “I know all that, but we can’t count on a little kiddie pool to keep the ducks by the house until we get the pond built, and I just don’t want to lose all the ducks we have now. Especially not Johnathan. Was he one of the ducks that got into the house, by the way? I only ask because before she got turned into a vampire, Carol used to love a dish called duck a l’orange whenever we went to this one fancy restaurant in Sweetwater; and I think she still craves it sometimes, even though it doesn’t taste the same to her anymore. What I’m trying to say with all this is that if she even dares to think about doing any home cooking with one of my ducks, so help me God, David….”
Once again looking faintly amused, but also looking like he was trying to fight it, David told Jen not to worry. “About Carol doing any ‘home cooking,’ anyway. I’d be more worried about all the other vampires living on this farm…because most Watcher vampires feed on animals, you know.”
With her hands flying to her face, Jen gasped. “David, I swear to God, if you or anyone else so much as brushes a single fang against one of Johnathan’s feathers….”
David had begun laughing, but he now stopped, clearly trying to become sober-faced. “I promise you, Johnathan and all the others will be kept safe. From what I’ve heard, vampires around here take hunting trips to feed on big game, instead of feeding on animals that are more domesticated…and this is what Sean and I have been doing anyway. For the past month, we’ve only fed on bears in the northern wilds of the state. We’d never be tempted to feed on a duck…especially not one as friendly and as bright-eyed as Johnathan.”
Seeming to be trying to fight a smile, without much success, Jen gave David a pretty forceful punch to the arm. “You’re the worst. In fact, just for teasing me about vampires feeding on my ducks, I’m gonna whup you at mini golf today.”
David laughed. “Let’s make it interesting. Winner gets to decide when and if we have a second date.”
Jen scoffed. “We’re now the proud parents of five ducks together. Is there really any doubt that we’ll be having a second date?”
Teasing each other, joking with each other, and laughing, David and Jen soon headed back up the dirt path toward the house. Watching them go, I had the feeling that I was watching an old married couple who’d been together for several decades. Sean might have had this feeling, too, because he followed ten paces or so behind them, as if he knew that by walking alongside them, he’d only be a third wheel.
Now alone with Jake, I told him I was really sorry about all the drama with Jen. “She just gets very…passionate about things sometimes.”
Cracking a smile with his thumbs in the pockets of his battered jeans, Jake said for me to not even worry about it. “It was all worth it just to get to bring you lunch.”
Glancing down at the three lunches in front of me, two boxed and one I’d brought from home, I returned his smile. “Which one should I eat first?”
He grinned, and just then, his phone dinged with a text alert.
Apologizing, he pulled his phone from his pocket, looked at the screen, and then quickly tapped out a reply before pocketing his phone with his gaze on me. “Your dad’s wondering where I am.”
Feeling bad that he’d gone through so much to bring me lunch and then we hadn’t been able to spend any time together, I told him that my dad could probably wait a little while.
However, Jake just shook his head. “Just going to be honest, Chrissy…your dad is not a vampire that I want to anger.”
A little reluctantly, I told him that I understood. Saying that he’d try to bring me lunch again sometime in the next few days, he soon left. It was only then that I remembered Paul, realizing that he had to have left at some point during the Jen debacle. To my surprise, I found that I was disappointed that we hadn’t gotten to talk more than we had.
CHAPTER NINE
My double date with Jen and David, and me and Sean began promptly at five when Jen half-dragged me out of my room, saying that we were going to be late.
“I told David to pick us up precisely at five, and it’s gonna take us at least sixty seconds to get downstairs and get to the front door.”
I told Jen that I was sure that David wouldn’t mind if we were a mere minute late, but she insisted that being late for my first date was bad luck.
“So, I don’t mean to be bossy,
Chrissy, but let’s take these stairs like we’re being chased by the whole coven of Warrens!”
My getting ready for the date had been a whirlwind in and of itself, beginning when I’d gotten out of work at four. Already dressed in her own date clothes with her long hair done in pretty spiral curls, Jen had all but pushed me up the path from the blueberry fields, barking that I had to get in the shower ASAP. Once I’d done so and had dressed in my new pink sundress and tan, wedge-heeled sandals, she sat me down in front of the vanity table in her room and began hurriedly doing my hair, first blow-drying it and then creating long, loose, waves with a big-barrel curling iron. After that, she did my makeup even more hurriedly, although doing an excellent job despite working with such speed. All this had brought us up to five o’ clock.
When we arrived in the kitchen probably not even a minute past five, David and Sean were already waiting, sitting up to the island with Carol. As soon as they saw us, they both hopped off their barstools, simultaneously grabbing wrapped bouquets of flowers from the island.
Surveying Jen with his expression like a kid on Christmas morning, David presented Jen’s bouquet to her first. “These don’t look half as beautiful as you look right now, but I still hope you like them.”
Beaming, Jen sniffed a few fuchsia roses in the center of her bouquet. “I love them. They smell just like my favorite brand of deodorant.”
Taking a small, hesitant-seeming step forward, Sean presented me with my bouquet. “These are for you, Chrissy. You look beautiful, by the way.”
Smiling, I said thank you, taking the pale pink roses from him, which just happened to match my dress. He smiled in return and said I was very welcome; however, I just didn’t see the same spark in his eyes that I saw when David looked at Jen. This was fine, because I was sure that I didn’t have the same spark in my eyes that was in Jen’s whenever she looked at David.
Carol soon said that she’d put Jen’s and my flowers in vases for us so that we could all get going. Jen and I thanked Carol, and then our double-dating group began heading to the front door.
However, after just a step or two, Jen stopped suddenly and turned to look at Carol. “Oh, Carol? Could you please go out back and check on Johnathan about every ten minutes while I’m gone? He’s definitely become my actual son over the course of the day, and I will just absolutely lose it if that water tanker lady tries to take him home for her own or something.”
A few hours earlier, Jen and David had purchased a large, above-ground pool in Sweetwater. Fourteen by fourteen feet, it had a depth of almost four feet, and Jen thought it would be perfect for the ducks to swim in until their pond was installed in the vast backyard. Currently, the pool had been set up, and a water tanker truck, staffed by a husband-and-wife team, was out back, filling the pool with thousands of gallons of water. Upon arriving, the wife had been delighted with the ducks and with Jen’s whole idea, which had made Jen happy. However, she’d thought that the lady was maybe a little too delighted with Johnathan in particular and was possibly thinking that she’d like to have him as a pet.
In response to Jen’s request, Carol said no problem. “I’ll keep a close eye on Johnathan and the others while you’re gone.”
Jen said thank you. “Oh, and, also…could you please feed Johnathan and the others some of their organic croutons about every half-hour? That’ll probably keep them from gnawing on the pool liner.”
In addition to supervising the pool setup, Jen had done some online research and had learned that plain croutons were a good food to toss in the water to ducks, because although the water softened them, they didn’t fall apart as easily as bread. Jen had then proceeded to make her own croutons by cubing a loaf of organic bread and baking the cubes in the oven.
“This is all one hundred percent organic,” Jen had said to me over the phone while putting the bread cubes in the oven. “Nothing but the best for my son and my other children.”
She’d soon had to cut the call short when Wanted, who’d she’d always considered to be her “little brother,” had begun chasing the ducks around the backyard, barking furiously at them. Later, disappointing Jen, David had had to explain to her that because Wanted was part golden retriever, a breed specifically created to retrieve waterfowl, he was probably never going to get along with the ducks and leave them in peace.
Back in the present, Carol said she’d be glad to offer the ducks frequent crouton snacks while Jen was gone.
Jen thanked her. “Oh, and, also, please don’t forget to add all the fish to the pool once it’s all filled up and all the ducks are in it. I promised Johnathan that he’ll be having a fish dinner tonight.”
While in Sweetwater purchasing the pool, Jen had also bought over a hundred live fish suitable for putting in a pond, and also suitable for eating by ducks. Also, even in the midst of all these somewhat crazy errands, she’d managed to report to work to teach an hour-long firearms safety class at the gun range in Sweetwater. While many her daily activities may not have been considered especially productive by most people, I was always astounded at just how many things she was capable of getting done in a day.
Looking maybe just a little exasperated after Jen’s comment about Johnathan’s fish dinner, Carol took a deep breath before managing a smile at Jen. “I’ll make sure that everything is done, and that all the ducks are well-taken care of while you’re gone, especially Johnathan.”
Jen leaned in and gave her a kiss on the cheek, smiling. “You’re the best step-grandma Johnathan could have ever hoped for.”
When our double-dating group finally left the house, we ran into my mom, my dad, and my two little brothers, Mason and Alex, who were all returning home from visiting a flower festival in Sweetwater.
After my parents had inquired about where we’d all be going for our double date, and what exactly we’d be doing, my dad asked Jen how “all the duck shenanigans” were going, giving her a wary sort of look while he did so. Earlier that day, Jen had texted him for permission to set up the pool in the backyard, and he’d granted it, although I got the impression that he hadn’t been too thrilled. Not wanting a pool full of ducks and fish in the backyard permanently, he’d given Jen a two-week deadline to get the pond installed and get rid of the pool.
Jen responded to his question about “all the duck shenanigans” by saying that all the ducks were “happy, healthy, and thriving,” especially Johnathan. “Really, he’s just a gift from God, Hayden…just wait until you meet him. If you’re anything like me, you’ll be saying, ‘How the duck have I lived my whole life without this little guy in it?”
Holding my mom’s hand, Mason looked from Jen to my mom and dad with wide eyes. “We got ducks?”
Before my parents could answer, Jen said yes. “And one of the ducks, Mason, a very special one named Johnathan, is your new cousin. If your mom and dad say it’s okay, you can go out back and eat some organic croutons with him.”
Although I was pretty sure they didn’t know what organic croutons even were, Mason and Alex both began jumping up and down, begging to go eat with their “new cousin.”
Rolling her eyes a little but smiling, my mom gave me a quick hug and a kiss on the cheek. “Have fun on your date, sweetie, and have a nice evening. I have a feeling my own evening is going to involve lots of duck feeding.”
A while later, Jen, David, Sean, and I arrived at the mini golf place in Sweetwater, after a drive that was pretty boisterous in the front seat, where David and Jen sat, and pretty quiet in the back seat, with me and Sean. He was pretty quiet during mini golfing, too, really only speaking once, to David, to say that he’d pick up the tab for ice cream for me and Jen at the little clubhouse place afterwards, since David had paid for everyone’s golfing admission. I was pretty quiet during mini golfing myself, just enjoying the sunshine and letting myself be entertained by Jen and David’s antics, often forgetting that Sean was even there.
While the four of us sat at a picnic table outside the clubhouse, with Jen and I enjoyin
g our ice cream, I thanked Sean for the treat, and he said I was very welcome, giving me a smallish, polite sort of smile. However, after that, he fell silent again, seeming to be listening very intently to a funny story that Jen was telling David, something about how she’d once briefly become “famous” on the internet by posting a picture of her and Wanted eating bacon in the bathtub.
After Jen and I had finished our ice cream, the four of us went to the Sweetwater campground and popped in on Phyllis and Bucky, who were thrilled to see us all. In the shade of a large awning extending from their RV, we all sat in lawn chairs and sipped iced tea while Jen filled them in about their new “great-grandson,” Johnathan. Cracking herself up, Phyllis said it sounded like his adoption and the setup of the pool had gone “swimmingly.”
Chuckling, Bucky threw in a grandparent joke of his own. “Now, Jen, waddle you do if little Johnathan grows up to be Daffy?”
Jen frowned, clearly confused, making Bucky chuckle again.
“Get it? Daffy like Daffy Duck!”
Jen groaned, although smiling a little, and buried her face in her hands. “Oh, Grandpa.”
After leaving the campground a while later, Jen, David, Sean, and I went to dinner at a fifties-themed burger place in downtown Sweetwater, and that was when Sean and I finally began to really talk. And, to my surprise, I found some of what he had to say pretty shocking.
CHAPTER TEN
After everyone had placed their dinner orders, Jen and David got up to put some quarters in an antique jukebox across the restaurant. After a few moments of awkward silence between me and Sean at the table, with both of us awkwardly sipping our pop, he kind of hesitantly asked me if I had any hobbies.
Feeling a little bad for us both because of our strained interaction, I told him that I loved reading, and that I also really liked baking sometimes. Massaging the back of his neck with a hand, looking a little pained, he asked me what kind of things I liked to bake, and I said I really liked to bake Christmas cookies.