by Tegan Maher
Herbert beamed down at his wife, then spun to face the cousins. “Ah, as the new owners, there are a few things you should be aware of.”
The cousin lifted a thin brow, a smug smile still on her face. “Yes?”
Herbert began to count on his thick fingers. “The castle is in bad need of a new roof, there’s a raccoon infestation in the attic—”
Bogdana lifted a finger. “Eet’s also haunted.”
“Oh, yes, right. Thanks, dear.” He patted her hand, then turned back to the suddenly less smug cousin. “The west wing has basically been uninhabitable for the last decade.” He shook his head. “And don’t get me started on the east wing. Frankly, I’d just burn it down and start over, if I were you.”
Bogdana nodded.
The cousin looked ashen. “You can’t be serious.”
“An estate this large is quite an undertaking to maintain.” Herbert grinned. “And now it’s your undertaking—enjoy.” He guided his wife toward at the door. “Oh, and most of the second basement is flooded. The trap door is locked and spelled for a reason—you don’t want to know what’s living down there.”
The cousin fainted, and her husband caught her under the arms.
Happy Holidays
Happy Holidays
The snow cleared two days later, and we all piled into sleighs with heavy blankets and horses decked in bells and began the journey back to Bijou Mer. All of us except Duscha, who’d been collected by the police to be tried for the murder, and the cousins, who of course were now home.
I glanced back as Hennigar Castle, with its turrets and peaks and dark beauty, grew smaller in the distance and grinned as I thought of the cousins and the money pit they now owned. Seemed like justice had been served all over the place. Booyah.
I spun back around and nestled closer to Hank, Iggy in his lantern on the bench beside me. “How soon can we go back to our bakery?”
He grinned down at me. “We’ll commission a ship as soon as we get back to Bijou Mer.”
I nodded and snuggled into his shoulder, my nose and cheeks cold as the snow fell around us. “I know Santa got murdered and your aunt and uncle were displaced from their home, but—” I shrugged. “Not the worst Christmas I’ve ever had.”
He chuckled, a low deep rumble.
Iggy sneered. “Snakes. I feel bad for you and your childhood.”
I grinned. “I’m kidding. And actually, I kind of had fun.” I squeezed Hank’s arm. “I always have fun with you.”
He dipped his face and kissed my forehead, his lips cold. “That’s very sweet of you, and I feel the same way, but…” He pulled back and grinned down at me. “I know you’re missing Maple.”
I chuckled, then pouted. “And Sam and Wiley and Annie and Yann and Rhonda and Francis and—” I held up a finger. “Don’t ever speak a word of this, but I’m even missing Cat.”
Hank gasped in mock shock. We were all wary at best, and terrified at worst, of Maple and Wiley’s strange little monster pet.
“Whoa.” Hank pressed a chilled hand to my forehead. “Are you feeling alright?”
I chuckled and swatted his hand away. “Har har.”
We leaned our heads together.
“I miss them, too,” Hank said after a while. The horses’ hooves crunched through the snow at a quick trot, their bells jingling and breath fogging the air. He found my hand under the blanket and squeezed it. “It’s good to have people that feel like home.” He lowered his voice. “You feel like home.”
Warm fuzzies flooded through me, and I snuggled closer to him. “Happy Bruma, Hank.”
He squeezed my hand. “Merry Christmas, Imogen.”
Iggy made a disgusted noise. “Get a room, both of you.”
Want more funny heroines, mysterious magical communities, and quirky conspiracies? Click here to find other books by Erin Johnson.
https://www.erinjohnsonwrites.com/
About the Author
A native of Arizona, Erin loves her new home in the Pacific Northwest! She writes paranormal cozy mystery novels. These stories are mysterious, magical, and will hopefully make you laugh. When not writing, she’s hiking, napping with her dogs, and losing at trivia night.
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Toy Time Tragedy
Jenna St. James
Toy Time Tragedy
When time-traveling, cold-case solving witch, Lexi, is sent back to 1996, she’s excited to finally get a case in a decade she knows. Working at a toy store akin to Mr. Magorium’s Wonder Emporium three days before Christmas, Lexi and her familiar, Rex the Rat, put on their sleuthing caps to discover who killed a toy store worker. Between gift-wrapping disasters and angry customers looking for the elusive Tickle My Tummy doll, Lexi and Rex hunker down in the toy store to search for the killer. With only limited time and clues, can Lexi and Rex capture their killer, or will this end up being a “Blue Christmas” for the time-traveling detectives?
Chapter One
“You’re sure I don’t need to bring a dish tonight?” I asked Shawn Turner, my boyfriend of five months.
“Nope. Mom has it all taken care of.”
I shifted my cell phone to my other ear. “What about gifts? Surely we need to bring those?”
“You just bring something from your house,” he said. “It’s some crazy tradition we have where you wrap something you don’t want anymore and give it to someone else. This way they have to take the useless gift home with them.”
“Like a white elephant exchange?” I asked.
“I guess. Just be warned, it can get pretty heated. Suddenly everyone wants oven mitts covered with stains and red apples you can buy at a dollar store. I once saw my aunt bare her teeth to my mom when Mom tried to take a half-burned scented candle from her.”
I laughed. “Okay. I’m sure I can find something around here I can bring with me.”
“I’ll pick you up at four, okay? We usually eat Christmas Eve dinner around five, but I like getting there early to visit.”
The museum where I worked was closed all day on Christmas Eve, so I wasn’t doing anything exciting. “I’ll be ready.”
“Great. See you tonight, Lexi.”
I hung up and tossed my phone on the bed. My apartment was small, a combination living room/bedroom area, plus a bathroom and tiny kitchen.
I lived on the square in downtown River Springs, Missouri, which meant I only had to walk across the street and three stores down to get to the museum every morning. That was my day job. A job I did as Lexi Sanders to pass the time.
My “real” job was more complex. I was a time-traveling, cold-case solving witch for the Agency of Paranormal Peculiarities. And when I was on the job to solve a cold case, I always use my mom’s family name of Howe. I come from a long line of witches. My too-many-greats-to-count grandmother was tried and convicted for being a witch during the Salem Witch Trials.
The women in my family have certain abilities that come naturally. My gift was movement. I can move objects up to six feet in any direction. Plus, if I concentrate just right, I can “sense” people who are not immediately in front of me.
Using my magical abilities and an enchanted spell given to me by the Agency of Paranormal Peculiarities, I can travel back in time and solve crimes that were never solved by the police. Of course, I was on a time crunch. I usually had up to seven days to solve a cold case, but on my last assignment, I had to do it within two days.
I opened my refrigerator and pulled out a carton of yogurt. Popping off the top, I licked the cream stuck to the foil, then tossed it in the trash. Grabbing a bag of granola, I sprinkled it liberally on top of the yogurt, pulled a spoon from the drawer, leaned back against the counter, and dug in.
I’d just finished and put on water to boil for tea when I heard the unmistakable thump on my rickety balcony—a sound that always surprised me, seeing as how the balcony was twelve feet off the ground. There was no staircase, just a wobbly old fire escape that looked like it could crumble
at any minute. There was no way a box should ever be on the balcony.
I hurried outside, picked up the box, and then discarded it on my bed before returning to the kitchen. Dumping some loose-leaf tea in an infuser, I waited impatiently for the water to boil. When it finally did, I quickly shut it off, poured the water, and took it with me while it steeped.
Sitting cross-legged on the bed, I reached inside the box and drew out a fake ID and fake resume with my name, Lexi Howe, on the top. I scanned the paper and saw mostly retail experience. Setting them aside, I withdrew the next item…a colorful backpack. I unzipped the top to peek inside. Nothing.
Next I pulled out a winter coat of neon pink, green, and blue. You could see me coming a mile away in this jacket. Under the coat was a pair of dark jeans and two flannel shirts. A note told me I was to wear one of the shirts and wrap the other around my waist.
I rose to my knees and reached in for the next item…and nearly screamed in excitement. It was a Tickle My Tummy doll! I had one when I was a little witch. I pressed his stomach and laughed along with him as he giggled and told me that tickled.
I nuzzled his fur and didn’t want to let him go. I reached for the Manila folder inside and scooted back until I was against the headboard, file opened, and the doll tucked in the crook of my arm.
Stewart Anton, age twenty-three, was found dead in his New York apartment from an apparent house accident. Stewart’s blood alcohol was two times the legal limit. He appeared to have fallen when he was drunk and accidentally killed himself. However, the coroner was suspicious due to two prong marks on Mr. Anton’s chest. His killer was never caught. I checked the date of his death at the top of the paper: December 21, 1996, somewhere between ten and midnight.
I smiled at the thought of going back to my childhood. Okay, more like infancy, but still. Usually my jumps in time are longer back, like the 70s or 80s. It would be nice to be around something familiar.
I walked into the bathroom and retrieved my black tourmaline necklace Mom had commissioned for me for protection and began preparing for my journey. I quickly donned the clothes and smiled at my crazy look—part grunge, part preppy thanks to the jacket and backpack.
I knew the spell I needed to say by heart. I was free to write it down and then burn the paper as I said it, but I preferred to picture the words in my head as I said the spell aloud.
I folded the resume into a tiny square and paperclipped my fake ID to it before shoving it down into my jeans pocket. Whispering I was sorry to Tickle My Tummy, I bent the doll in half and crammed him down into the backpack. I then slung it over my shoulder and closed my eyes, mentally preparing myself to jump.
I took a deep breath, held it, and then slowly let it out. Seeing the words in my mind I’d use to not only propel myself through time, but to also make sure I didn’t cause a ripple of any kind…I centered myself, closed my eyes, and focused on the job at hand.
When I felt the time was right, I started the spell:
“Crimes are unpunished
The world’s not right.
Cosmos guide me into the time-travel light.
To the past I’ll travel
Absent of any time ripple.
Nineteen ninety-six is my time
To solve this heinous crime.”
Chapter Two
I blinked open my eyes, took in my surroundings, then promptly closed them again. Something I usually have to do. Traveling through time often left my body feeling queasy immediately after the jump. Breathing in once more, then slowly letting it out, I blinked my eyes back open. I was standing at the crossroads of a side and back alley. I crinkled my nose at the smell permeating the air around me.
“Ahhh, I sure do love that smell. Yes, I do. Yes, I do.”
I looked down and saw my familiar, Rex the Rat, standing on his hind legs, hands rubbing back and forth, nose and whiskers twitching.
I first met Rex five months ago on our first assignment together. Before that, the Agency usually rotated my familiars. Sometimes I’d have a cat, other times a dog, but for that particular assignment I’d gotten Rex. And we’ve been together since. Believe it or not, we were well suited for each other.
“It’s nice to see you again, Rex,” I said, staring straight ahead at the busy street ten yards in front of me.
“You, too, doll face. The missus sends her love. Yes, she does! Yes, she does!”
I snorted, unzipped my backpack, and motioned for Rex to get in. Zipping him in, I flung the backpack onto my back, reached down to tighten the flannel around my waist, and took off toward the busy city street. At the end of the alley, I turned right and looked up at the most unusual building I’d ever seen in the middle of a large city. Whereas most of the buildings around me were the massive skyscrapers and high rises, this storefront looked more like a large house, complete with turrets on each side of the house. It reminded me of a cross between the house on Up and the store in Mr. Magorium’s Wonder Emporium.
“This is awesome,” I whispered. “Best assignment in a long time.”
Of course, my last two assignments had me living in a former insane asylum and then staying a couple days in the Poconos Mountains…which wouldn’t be bad if it hadn’t been the highlight of the seventies honeymoon phase. Red shag carpet and heart-shaped Jacuzzis everywhere.
“You’re telling me!” Rex exclaimed. “I can smell the rotting trash from here. Yum! Yum!”
Ignoring him, I pressed down on the thumb mechanism for the ornate door handle and pushed the door open. It was heavier than it looked. Blinking, I stood awestruck in front of the door, looking around at all the toys and colors. It was truly magnificent.
“Welcome and Merry Christmas!” a short-haired brunette called out to me from behind a circular counter in the middle of the room. “We’re not quite open. Come on in! If you’re looking for a Tickle My Tummy doll, I’m sorry but our shipment didn’t come in yesterday.”
“I’m not here for a Tickle My Tummy doll,” I said.
“Are you here for the Christmas sale or the job opening?”
“Job opening.” I figured I was on the right track with that answer.
“Good! Only three more days until Christmas and we are in a crunch! Do you have a resume handy?”
I counted back in my head and realized that would put Stewart’s death as last night. Had he been discovered yet? I had no idea where he lived.
“Right here.” Walking toward the counter, I dug the resume out of my jeans, unfolded it, and handed it to her. “Sorry for the creases.”
Laughing, she waved my apology off. “No big deal.” She quickly scanned it and grinned. “Well, Lexi, this looks great. You must really love retail work.”
I plastered on a fake smile. “I’m a people person!”
Rex’s laughter reverberated around in my head. “Since when?”
I bristled at Rex’s comment. I had friends. Granted Vee, Nuala, Mariana, and Flick were also time-traveling, cold-case solving witches who worked for the Agency, but by gosh, they were my closest friends and they were people. So by default that made me a people person.
“My name’s Jessie Charmain,” the perky girl said as she bounced on her feet, “and I’m the assistant manager here at Toyland and Treasures. As you can see, we sell just about everything.”
I immediately liked Jessie. She was bubbly and energetic but not in a fake way. She truly seemed to take pride in her job.
“Over here are the board games,” she gestured to one wall, “over there is every stuffed animal you could ever dream up, while that wall contains building blocks and technology gadgets.” She pointed to the front of the window. “We like to keep all the flying toys there, so people walking by can enjoy and be enticed to come inside.”
“Smart thinking,” I said.
I glanced up and marveled at all the airplanes and rockets hanging down from the ceiling with different lengths of fishing wire.
“Then if you follow the curved ramp up the side of that wall,
the second floor will show you even more wonders. We also have a gift-wrapping station up there. We offer year-round wrapping.”
“Awesome.”
“Since it’s Christmas, we made room for Santa and his elves, but those positions are already filled, as are stockers and cashiers. I’ll be hiring you for floor work and gift wrapping if that’s okay?”
“Sounds perfect.”
She hurried back behind the circular counter, where four cash registers sat ready to ring up customers, and handed me a clipboard. “Just fill this out, and we are good to go.” She cocked her head to the side. “Has anyone ever told you that you look like Phoebe off of Friends? Your hair and eyes and face are a perfect match. If you clipped your hair up in the back, you could totally pass for her!”
“You a Friends fan?” I asked.
“Totally! Aren’t you?”
“Yep.”
She leaned across the counter. “Do you think Ross and Rachel will ever get together?”
I smiled. It was times like this that I loved. I actually knew how the series to Friends ended. Granted, I was just ten when the series ended in 2004, but I’d watched every episode since thanks to re-runs.
“Something tells me those crazy kids just might make it,” I said.
She laughed. “I like to think so, too.”
I handed her back the clipboard and she frowned. “You didn’t fill in an address.”
I bit my lip. “Truth is, Jessie, I just came to town. I haven’t even had time to look for a place yet. I wanted to secure a job first.”
She didn’t say anything, just looked me up and down, scrutinizing. “I might have a place for you until you find something more permanent.”
“Really? Where?”
Jessie laughed. “Close. Really, really close.” She looked at the watch on her arm. “Come find me when you take your break around ten-thirty, and I’ll show you.”