Tucker was quiet for a long time, taking the news hard, like he hadn’t dated me himself for six weeks. Then he spoke. “But I think it is meant to be. I think you’re the right person for him…and he’s the right person for you.”
Seven
Deacon
“This is amazing, honey.” Mom sat across from me, slicing into her tender salmon fillet before dipping it in the sauce. “I didn’t know you could cook like this.”
I shrugged.
“Anyone teach you?”
“YouTube.”
She chuckled and continued to eat. “So, how was the office?”
I tried to appreciate the time with my mother rather than be suffocated by the questions and the attention. Now that my mother was around all the time, I didn’t see Cleo much. There wasn’t any time for us to just have a conversation. It made me miss her, made me miss how easy it was to talk to her. “Fine. I was in the lab all day. I processed the data I collected from my patients.”
“I hope you find what you’re looking for. I’m so proud of you.”
When she said things like that, it did mean something to me, made my chest tight. “Thanks, Mom.”
She continued to eat, letting it grow quiet. “How are things with Valerie? Keeping it civil?” Her tone darkened, making it clear she didn’t like Valerie at all without even saying it. She knew she’d cheated on me, and not because I’d told her, but because it made the news.
“For the most part.”
“She’s beautiful, but I don’t care for her.”
“That makes two of us.”
“How are you going to handle this with Derek?”
I didn’t want to get into that. “I want to convince her to move here.”
She made a disgusted face. “How about you convince her to give you full custody instead?”
Never gonna happen. “She’d fight me to the bitter end.”
“Too bad. You’re a much better parent than she is.”
My mother would think that even if I weren’t.
“What does she have to offer him? You’re the brilliant one. You’re the one who can help him with his homework, relate to him because you’re both so gifted. She can put him in front of the TV with the remote and walk away…”
I knew I was the one who could nurture Derek into reaching his full potential. Neither one of my parents was gifted, but they understood I had needs they couldn’t fulfill, so they’d dragged me to tutors, to special programs, everything I could possibly need. “When she’s here, I’m sure I’ll be able to do all those things.”
She scooped her fork into her rice. “Are you seeing anyone?”
I loathed the question. My dad never asked me stuff like that. She was a lot nosier.
“Come on, Deacon. You’re a grown man. I’m not prying.”
I didn’t like to talk about my personal life to anyone. I’d always been really private. “No.”
“You’re the most eligible bachelor in this country, so take your time.”
I’d be a bachelor for the rest of my life. I had one son whom I loved, and that was enough for me. “Are you seeing anyone?”
She laughed like the question was ridiculous. “No.” She held up her left hand. “Your father is still the man in my heart.” She showed off her wedding ring, an enormous rock with diamonds in the band.
“You’re young, Mom. You could get remarried.”
“Sixty-two is young to you?” she asked with a chuckle.
“People are living into their eighties, so you’ve got twenty years left to enjoy. You may as well do that with another person.”
She smiled. “So, you wouldn’t be uncomfortable seeing me with someone else besides your father?”
I shook my head. “No. As long as he’s a good man.”
She smiled. “My boy being protective of me…sweet.”
My father was gone, and now it was my turn to look after her, which was what he would want. I was glad she was in the city so I could help her with what she needed if Lily wasn’t enough, to comfort her on my father’s birthday, to possess his likeness so she would feel like he was still there.
“Do you think you’ll get remarried?”
“No.” My answer was immediate because I didn’t need to think twice about it.
“Ever?” she asked incredulously. “Deacon, you need a wife—”
“I don’t need anybody.” I was perfectly capable of taking care of myself, and I didn’t need company the way other people did.
“You don’t want to have more children?”
“Derek is enough.”
She looked disappointed but didn’t pester me about it. “Divorce is really hard. Breakups are hard. Losing a spouse is hard. It’ll hurt for a while, but one day…you’ll feel better.” She finished her food and watched me eat. “I was devastated when I lost your father, but in time…I got out of bed again. We all go at our own pace.”
I wasn’t heartbroken over Valerie. I was sick of bullshit.
She watched me like she expected me to say something. When I didn’t, she changed the subject. “Cleo is very pretty…”
My chest tightened when she was mentioned.
“It seems like the two of you get along well.”
She’d barely seen us together, so I assumed Tucker was whispering in her ear.
“She’s smart, successful, young—”
“Mom.”
She sighed, picking up on my tone. “Alright, alright. But you know I’m gonna try to set you up with someone…”
“Mom, I’m a billionaire. I have no problem getting my own dates.”
A couple weeks had passed, so I decided to try to get Derek out here. I called Valerie from my office since I didn’t have much privacy at home anymore.
She picked up after a couple rings. “Hey, Deacon.” She was in a better mood than the last time we spoke.
My hatred ran deep as a river, so it was hard to be calm. It was easier when I didn’t have to look at her face, but her voice was enough to irritate me. “How are you, Valerie?” That book told me to say her name, that it created a level of intimacy that wasn’t actually there.
“Good. Just been going to yoga, teaching Derek how to swim…stuff like that.”
“That’s great to hear.”
“You?”
I had to be somebody I wasn’t with her, had to behave the way she wanted instead of being myself. I fucking hated it. “My mom is living with me right now. She just moved to the city.”
“She did? She didn’t mention it to me.”
“It was a bit sudden.”
“So, how do you like having your mom around?”
I kept my responses short. “It’s nice to spend time with her, but I’m ready for her to get her own place.”
She chuckled. “I bet.”
I was quiet, unsure how else to make small talk. I fucking hated small talk. Why didn’t people just say what they meant? Why didn’t they get to the point? Why did they put on this act to please the other person? Stupid. “I’ve been missing Derek. I was hoping there was a good time for him to visit again.”
“Well…he was just there.”
Why did this bitch get all the power? “I wanted to take him to the planetarium along with a few other things before he starts school.”
She was quiet.
Why did I have to kiss her ass every time I wanted something? “Maybe he can stay for a week or two. Give you time to yourself.”
“Two weeks is a long time…”
“It’s a long flight.”
“Would Cleo come get him?”
“Yes.” I’d do it myself, but I didn’t want to see her in the flesh. “And my mom would love to spend some time with him.”
After a long sigh, she caved. “I guess ten days is okay…”
I closed my eyes and mimicked Derek’s movements, pulling my elbow to my chest in excitement and fist-pumping. “Great. I’ll make the arrangements. Thank you, Valerie.” I couldn’t believe I had to thank her. I was bend
ing over backward trying to see my own goddamn son.
“You’re welcome, Deacon.”
Bitch. “I’ll talk to you later.”
“Bye.”
I hung up and slammed the phone down. I leaned back in my leather chair and dragged my hands down my face, forcing the rage to boil out of my blood. I rested my head back against the cushion and dropped my hands, my eyes closed as I tried to find peace again. I tried to focus on the reward for the conversation.
Two whole weeks with Derek.
When I entered the building, I went past the elevator to Cleo’s desk.
She was typing on her computer, her hair pulled back into a slick ponytail, her posture perfect, her slender neck straight. A gold necklace hung from her throat, sitting on top of her pink blouse. She didn’t notice me.
So, I continued to stand there, watch the way her eyebrows moved up and down while she concentrated on whatever she worked on. The makeup around her eyes was heavier than I was used to, making her more stunning than usual.
Her eyes glanced my way as if she’d noticed my size out of the corner of her eye. Then she abandoned what she was doing, immediately looking flustered. “I’m sorry, Deacon. I didn’t notice you standing there.” She got to her feet, smoothing out her skirt in the process.
When I was close to her, all I could think about were her plump lips, the slender curves of her waist, and the way I smelled roses anytime I was near her.
Her hands came together at her waist, patient, as she waited for me to pull my thoughts together.
I cleared my throat, completely losing my train of thought. “Valerie said I could have Derek for ten days.”
“Wow…ten days?” She smiled. “That’s great. You guys are going to have so much fun together.” She seemed to understand me the best, understand just how happy Deacon made me.
I found myself wanting to share all my good news with her, because she seemed to genuinely share my excitement. Instead of complaining about Valerie, she shared my joy. It was nice. “I was wondering if you could still book that planetarium tour?”
“Absolutely. Anything else in mind?”
“He loves baseball, and the Yankees are playing the Giants.”
“Giants are his favorite team, right?”
“Yeah…” I was surprised she knew that.
“I’ll get you some good seats. What else? Does he like plays? Museums?”
I shook my head. “He’s not really an artistic type of person.”
“Just like you…should have assumed. I’m sure you’ll spend some time at the cabin, right?”
I nodded.
“Will you be taking this time off work?”
I hadn’t thought about it. “I would, but I can’t…”
“That’s okay. You can see him after work. Will your mother be watching him?”
I hadn’t thought of that either. I’d have to get a nanny if Derek did move here. “Um, I’m sure she wouldn’t mind watching him for a couple of days. I could take him to the office during the other times.”
“Alright. I’ll think of other things you can take him to. This is New York, there’re a million options.”
“Thank you.” I knew she would plan everything, arrange for all the transportation, book things privately, make it an experience Derek wouldn’t forget.
“When is he coming?”
“Friday.”
“Alright. I’ll reserve the flights and pick him up.”
I didn’t even have to ask her. “Thanks.” She was the only one there, so I lingered, staring at her in front of me, enjoying the sight of her face after a long day at the office. Talking to Valerie was always a pain in the ass, but it was easy to forget the nightmare when I looked at Cleo, who didn’t have an unkind bone in her body.
“Excited for your mom to leave tomorrow?”
“You have no idea.”
She chuckled. “She can’t be that bad.”
We’d actually had some deep talks, had dinner together, talked about my wine selection. “It’s been nice. She just asks me a lot of questions.”
“That’s how a conversation works.”
“You don’t ask me a lot of questions.”
“Okay… That’s how a conversation with your mother works.”
A slight smile came over my lips. With her, it was effortless. It wasn’t the way it was when I received an award or had to make my mother happy. It didn’t strain my cheeks, didn’t strain my spirit. “Thanks for everything. If you hadn’t found that apartment, she probably would have lived with me for months.”
“Would have destroyed your sex life,” she teased.
“I don’t have a sex life.” I hadn’t realized what I’d said until the words tumbled out, because I didn’t really think about what I would say before I said it—like I did with everyone else. I’d stopped picking up women at bars because the urge never came over me. I was busy with Derek, busy with work, busy with my mother… It just didn’t cross my mind. I was also tired of the stupid conversations, of getting them out of my condo, of ignoring their texts that popped up on my phone for a few days until they got the hint. It was purely physical for me, and there was no other stimulation they offered once the sex was over. They weren’t interesting. They weren’t smart. And most of the time, they were rude, careless, and stuck-up.
Cleo stared at me with her hands still in front of her, her eyes still glued to my face.
I didn’t know why I’d said that. “I’m making my mother dinner tonight, to celebrate her last night.”
“I’m sure she likes your cooking.” Her voice was quiet now, really quiet.
“Yeah. She does.”
“Let me know if there’s anything I can get you. More wine. Anything like that.”
“I think we’re okay, but thank you.”
She gave me a smile. “Well, I guess I’ll see you later.”
“Yeah.” I almost invited her to dinner, but then I realized that would be weird with my mother there since she was so focused on finding me a new wife. I stared a little while longer before I finally turned and walked away.
Eight
Cleo
The elevator doors opened, and I stepped into the hallway, carrying the large vase of flowers for the residence. I got the door unlocked, placed them on the entryway table, and then locked up and left.
The elevator headed to the lobby—but stopped at floor seventeen.
Oh no.
Lots of people lived on this floor. Didn’t mean he would be standing outside the doors.
The doors opened…and there he was.
In jeans that hung low on his hips and a shirt tight on his muscular arms, he looked like he was going out for a drink, ditching the suit and dressing casually instead. His eyes were on mine the second the doors opened, and he stared at me for a few seconds before he joined me in the elevator.
Oh god…
The doors closed.
We started to move.
My heart was beating so hard. I was suddenly nauseated. The tension was suffocating.
I just had to chill for thirty seconds…then it would be over.
“Are you fucking Deacon Hamilton?” He turned to me, his voice loud, even though there was absolutely no reason to yell.
I nearly jumped out of my skin.
“Are you?”
I turned to him, wishing this elevator would just crash to the bottom so we could get to the lobby quicker. “No—not that it’s any of your business.”
“Really?” he challenged. “So, he just came over when we were talking for no reason?”
“He came over because he’s a good man—unlike you.”
“You sure thought I was a good man when we were together.”
Both of my eyebrows rose. “When you were cheating on your wife? No, you were a fucking bastard—”
“I left her. What more do you want from me?”
“Nothing. Absolutely fucking nothing.”
His nostrils flared as he stared at me.
“You really aren’t going to be with me because I was married a few months ago? I’m single now, unencumbered, and I’m still interested if—”
“I’m not interested, Jake.”
His eyes narrowed. “You said you were seeing someone. If it’s not Deacon, then who is it?”
“None of your business.” The doors opened. “That’s who.” I left the elevator and headed to my desk, knowing Matt was still there. I moved past the elevators and saw him sitting there, my saving grace.
When I got to my desk and turned around, Jake was gone, probably storming out the front doors.
Matt entered the residence with his cart, ready to take the luggage and move it to the lobby like a hotel.
Margo’s bags were piled in the entryway, cream-colored and clean, like they’d never gotten scuffed up at the airport.
She stood there, embracing her son with a hug. “Honey, thank you for letting me stay with you. I had a great time. It was nice to look at your face every night over a glass of wine.” She pulled away and cupped his cheek as if he was still a little boy.
Deacon smiled and let his mother do whatever she wanted. “I enjoyed our time together too.”
“And now we’ll see each other all the time,” she said excitedly. “I’m so happy I have my boys. And I’m so happy I’ll have my grandson too.” She wrapped her arms around him and hugged him again, this time not letting go.
He hugged her back, his chin on her head. His eyes moved to me, and he held my gaze.
When she pulled away, she squeezed his arms. “Your father would be so proud of you…”
That made him stiffen, made his eyes shift to her face and remain there. He was quiet, expressionless.
“Not just for everything you’ve accomplished, but for taking care of me.” She gave him a smile and turned away. “Alright, I’m ready to go.”
Deacon remained there, in a shirt and sweatpants, his expression blank, like he didn’t know what to think or feel.
“I’ll let you know when I’m settled in.”
Matt piled the luggage onto the cart. “I’ll bring these to the car.”
The Man Who Has No Heart Page 7