“But she means a lot to me.” I couldn’t pretend she meant nothing to me. I just couldn’t. “She brings Derek back and forth, organizes all our activities, gets all the gear for our fishing trips… She makes these memories possible.”
She was quiet.
“She’s my friend…a good friend.” When Valerie came to visit, I couldn’t hide our closeness, couldn’t hide the way we interacted. I had to explain. Otherwise, it would be immediately obvious I was lying. She knew how I was with people…like I hated everyone. An affectionate and close relationship with Cleo would be a red flag. “I’m tired of talking about her. The reason I called is because I wanted to invite the two of you to Manhattan for a few days. I thought we could spend time with Derek, as a family, because he starts school…”
Instead of rejecting it right away, she aww’d into the phone. “That’s sweet…”
I effectively got her to stop thinking about Cleo and move on. “My treat.” Of course, it was my treat. It was always my fucking treat. “We could go to the zoo, have dinner, lots of fun stuff.”
“Go to the cabin?”
I would never, ever take her there. Over my dead fucking body. “Maybe.” That place was a safe haven, where I spent time with my son and the woman who had cleansed my soul and made it pure once again. “Is that a yes?”
“I do love the city…”
Of course, she thought about herself…not our son.
“Yeah, I think it would be fun. What a great idea.”
When we were together, we’d hardly ever done things as a family, because I preferred to be away from her…even if that meant I didn’t spend time with Derek either. “Over a weekend would be ideal, since I work.”
“How about this weekend?” she asked. “Or is that too soon?”
I did not want to see her fucking ugly face. She was a beauty queen to everyone else, but I saw past the big hair, heavy makeup, and fit body. I saw the goddamn devil underneath, the evil in her soul. She was the ugliest person I’d ever seen in my life. “No. That’s not too soon.”
Twenty
Cleo
Jake kept texting me. Blowing me off again?
He’d texted me a few times, and I’d thought ignoring him was the best way to shake him. Guess not. Jake, stop.
You come over and then ditch me?
That was a one-time thing. Let it go.
You know me, baby. I never let anything go.
Ugh, why the fuck did I go over there? I’m seeing someone.
So, he dumps you, then you run back to him?
I didn’t tell him the specifics. I didn’t even tell him Deacon was the guy. I’m sorry I led you on, but that was a one-time thing. I was depressed, okay? And we didn’t even sleep together, so just forget about it.
I might feel a lot better if we did sleep together.
I rolled my eyes. Jake, don’t text me again.
Sleep with me, and I won’t.
Go fuck yourself.
I’d rather you fuck me. I rolled my eyes so hard they almost got stuck in the back of my head. I put my phone aside and refused to entertain the conversation further.
I sat at the table across from Tucker. “Thanks for meeting me.”
He was in jeans and a shirt, his arms still muscular, his eyes still playful. “Anything for you.”
I stilled at the sweet thing he said.
“Because you’re Deacon’s girl,” he added, noticing my reaction. “I’d do anything for my brother, and by extension, you…even though it’s still a little weird.”
“Well, I appreciate that.” When Tucker had come by my apartment, Deacon was the only thing he’d wanted to talk about, so there wasn’t an opportunity to feel awkward around each other. But when we went to lunch, it felt weird…because we used to go to lunch together. Now we were in the coffee shop, where we’d spent a Saturday afternoon getting to know each other…so that made it more awkward. It was close to my apartment, so that was why I picked it.
He already had his coffee in front of him—black. “Deacon’s been really happy.”
“Yeah?” My eyes softened, wondering what he’d said about me when I wasn’t around.
“Yeah, he’s crazy about you.”
My heart sprouted wings and flew away. “What did he say?”
“I can’t tell you that,” he said. “But I will tell you that everything he said was fucking romantic.”
My life felt like a fairy tale. Deacon was the key to my happiness, the man I’d wanted for months before I’d had the courage to tell him how I felt. And now that we were together…I couldn’t believe we’d been nothing but friends for so long. The intensity of our physical relationship told me we were supposed to be together, that we were better lovers than we ever were friends—but we were amazing at both. “I’m really sorry about everything—”
“Don’t be,” he said quickly. “I’m really happy for both of you.”
“Thank you.”
“So, is that what you wanted to talk to me about?”
“No…but it relates.” I was never intimidated by anyone and rarely lost my confidence, but I was dreading Valerie’s visit. “I’m not sure if Deacon told you, but Valerie is coming to Manhattan for a visit with Derek.”
“Yeah. When is that happening?”
“Friday.”
He grimaced. “That’s gonna be a shitty weekend.”
Tell me about it. “I’m not her biggest fan, and she threatened me to stay away from Deacon—”
“Why didn’t you punch her in the face?”
“Because—”
“Deacon wouldn’t have cared.”
I knew he wouldn’t have. “Violence is never the answer. And what kind of example is that setting for Derek?”
“Was he standing right there?”
“No. But—”
“You’d be teaching him to stand up for himself—”
“Let’s get back to the subject.” Tucker was the opposite of his brother—and talked too much. “I told her you and I were dating…even though we’d already broken up. Just to get her off my ass.”
“Alright.” His eyes narrowed.
“If you’re comfortable with it…I was gonna suggest we continue to act like we’re together.”
He raised an eyebrow. “And Deacon is cool with that?”
“No… I haven’t told him yet. I needed to see if you were okay with it first.”
“I’m happy to do whatever I can to make this easier for both of you. But I promise, Deacon will not go for it.”
“He will if I talk him into it.”
He shook his head. “This is a pretty layered lie now…”
“I know,” I said with a sigh. “I hate it. But I just have to get Derek here. I need him in this city, to be in Deacon’s life a lot more than he is now. That’s all I really care about at this point. She can threaten me if she wants, she can make passes at Deacon, I really don’t care. But I need that boy in Manhattan.”
He stared at me for a while, his chin propped on his closed knuckles. “Deacon told me some of the terrible things she did to him. I really hate that bitch. I wish we could have Derek but not her.”
“Ditto.”
He shook his head. “They’ve been divorced over six months now. She needs to move on.”
“Honestly, the only reason we can get here is because she hasn’t moved on.” If she had a new man in her life, there would be no reason to rip out her roots.
“I don’t like her having Derek either. Deacon makes her sound emotionally unstable.”
I wasn’t sure if I wanted to hear this.
“He told me he has a scar on the side of his skull because she chucked a plate at his head…for not talking to her. She threw his Nobel Prize over the fence—”
I held up my hand. “I’m sorry, I can’t hear this.” I dropped my gaze, afraid I might start to cry.
Tucker went quiet. “I’m sorry.”
Not only had he been in a toxic relationship…but an a
busive one. Society always thought emotional and physical abuse was in one direction, a man hitting a woman, but it happened the other way around too. I knew Deacon would never raise a hand to her, no matter how angry he was, so she completely took advantage of his chivalry. He said he developed a drinking problem because he lost his father, but I suspected Valerie was also a contributing factor. Instead of being the crutch he needed to get through a difficult time, she dragged him down. “I try to stay objective about the whole thing, but sometimes it’s hard. From the beginning, I could tell she was more than difficult…controlling, manipulative, selfish. And when she threatened me like that, right after I’d dropped off her son, I knew she’d been a million times worse to Deacon. It made me shed a few tears when I got back into the car. Deacon and Derek both deserve better. Derek needs to have his father’s presence in his life regularly, to have a strong role model, someone who can show him how to be a good person instead of being influenced by her. I originally wanted to get Derek out here for Deacon, but I love that little man so much… I want to make sure he’s happy.”
Tucker leaned forward with his elbows on the table, his eyes slightly down. “I’m so grateful that my brother found you. He has someone who loves him selflessly, who cares about him more than herself, who doesn’t give a shit about his money…but his heart.”
It was such a sweet thing to say that it left me speechless.
“I’ll make sure he never lets you go, not that I think he ever will.”
I’d just poured a glass of wine at the counter when a knock sounded on the door.
I suspected it was Deacon because I hadn’t ordered a pizza or Chinese food. I set down the bottle and checked the peephole before I opened it. “Hey.” My eyes lit up like Christmas morning when I looked at him, because he was that big present under the tree.
He stepped into my apartment and slid his hands into my hair as he kissed me. He tilted my chin up and deepened the kiss, massaging my mouth with his, taking my breath away and making me breathless. He greeted me wordlessly, with just his affection.
He pulled away and shut the door behind him.
It took me a few seconds to bounce back, to believe that really happened, that he kissed me like that every time he saw me. It was a dream come true, a fantasy, to have a man like that want me the way I wanted him.
His arms circled my waist, and he held me in the entryway, his arms tight around my body. His forehead moved to mine, and he held me there. Neither one of us had mentioned Valerie’s impending arrival, as if we didn’t want to spend a single moment of our time discussing her.
He gave me another kiss before he pulled away. “I want to take you to dinner.”
We’d never had a date outside the house. We spent our time in our homes, mainly in bed. Since I knew so many people, I didn’t think we could be in public together because it would be a dead giveaway we were sleeping together. “Deacon, we can’t.”
He stared at me, his eyes questioning my statement.
“If someone sees us together, they’ll know.”
His expression didn’t change much, but the subtle annoyance was clear. It lasted for several heartbeats, but he didn’t argue with me. “Then we’ll need to spend more time at the cabin.”
It was my favorite place in the world. “I would love that.”
“I’ll go to the store and grab something for us to cook.”
“You don’t need to do that. Let’s just order something.”
“You know I’m picky.”
“There’s this vegan place around the corner. I think you’ll like it.” If he was going to come over more often, I’d have to buy better groceries. I didn’t want him to be hungry or unsatisfied by what I had around the house. He’d rather die than eat one of my frozen burritos. Unless it was vacuum-sealed meat, nothing was in his freezer.
“I’ll try it.” He moved to the couch.
I pulled out my phone and looked at the menu. “They have a cauliflower pizza. Want to split it?”
“Sure.”
I ordered it on my phone before putting it down.
He eyed the empty coffee table. “I need to buy you more flowers.”
The broken shards from the vase he’d given me were still under the fridge. I’d have to move it if I wanted to sweep it up. “You don’t need to get me anything, but I did love the ones you gave me.”
“You had them for a really long time.” His arm moved over the back of the couch as he leaned into me.
“Because you gave them to me…”
He moved his lips to the shell of my ear and gave me a soft kiss.
I closed my eyes at the touch. When I opened them again, he was staring down at me. “What?”
“You’re beautiful.”
A man had never said that to me before and looked so sincere.
“I’m going to miss you.”
“It’s just for a few days,” I whispered. We wouldn’t be able to sleep together anymore, stay at each other’s places. Even if Valerie weren’t there, Derek would be, and that was inappropriate.
“Every day without you is a lifetime. So, you’re asking me to wait four lifetimes.”
“That’s pretty long…”
“Too long.” His lips moved to my temple, and he pressed a kiss there, his affectionate embraces making my blood steam with heat.
I stared at his lips for a while, seeing his clean jawline, the smooth skin after a close shave. “Since she’s coming tomorrow, Tucker and I thought it would be a good idea to pretend to still be seeing each other…just to get her to stop thinking about me.”
His affection disappeared, his eyes dark and furrowed.
“It’s not forever.”
“I’m not going along with that.”
“Deacon—”
“No. You’re mine—not his.”
It was the first time I’d ever seen him possessive, jealous. “Just think about Derek.”
“I already lied to her and told her we aren’t seeing each other—”
“And this will allow her to keep believing it. Come on, we have this energy between us—she’ll see it. If Tucker and I pretend to still be together, it’ll assuage all her suspicions….and might buy you a lot of time.”
He looked away, like he was so angry he couldn’t look at me.
“We don’t even need to touch. Just sit next to each other when we do things.”
“Tucker would never do that to me.”
“Well, I already talked him into it.”
He sighed.
“Deacon.”
He wouldn’t look at me.
I grabbed his chin and forced him to turn back to me.
He allowed me to move his head, but his eyes were still dark, like black bullets.
“This is for Derek. Just remember that.”
His nostrils flared as the air left his lungs.
“We get him here, and then it’s over. We can tell her we’re together, and she’ll have to deal with it.”
He was still angry.
My fingers brushed over his soft chin, touching the skin around his lips. “I didn’t sleep with him because I wanted to be with you. How can you be jealous?”
“You think I’m jealous?” he whispered, like the suggestion was absurd. “I’m not jealous, Cleo. I’m just an honest guy, and I feel like a coward for letting some woman run my life when she’s not even my wife anymore. I’m a man. I stand by what I believe in. I should hold your hand, look her in the eye, and tell her to fuck off.”
“I know, Deacon. I would agree with you, but she’ll take Derek away. It’s not right, but we have to play this game. We have to take our time, take this slow, and get to a place where the two of you can be civil and cooperative parents.”
He turned away again, releasing a deep sigh.
I hated seeing him this way, seeing him on someone’s invisible leash. He deserved so much better. “It’ll be alright, Deacon. I promise.”
He turned his head back in my direction.
Twenty-One
Deacon
After the driver picked them up and delivered them to the hotel, I walked the few blocks and entered the lobby.
Normally, I would have had my driver take me, but I needed to walk off the nerves.
I entered the lobby, seeing the sleek bar on the left, the concierge desk in the rear, and then the rest of the lobby to the right, flowers on the large center table, modern light fixtures hanging from the ceiling.
“How can I be of service to you, sir?”
I turned to my right, seeing Tucker standing there in slacks and a collared shirt, his name tag pinned to his suit jacket.
He smiled and clapped me on the back. “You look like shit, man.”
“You would too if you were about to see the devil.”
He chuckled. “So, Derek is half evil, half good?”
“No…he’s all good.”
“I saw her check in.”
“And?”
“She’s the same bitch she always was,” he said with a laugh. “Treats the staff like shit, says she deserves an upgrade because of how rich she is, but wouldn’t you just pay for the upgrade if you were so rich?” He cocked an eyebrow. “But she’s as sexy as ever. In the best shape I’ve ever seen her.”
I didn’t care about that. “Take her if you want. But you deserve better.”
“Nah. I don’t double dip.”
I raised an eyebrow.
“I don’t sleep with the women my brother sleeps with.”
“You’ve done that many times.”
“Yeah, but with random chicks, not women we know.” He turned to the elevators. “Well, she’s coming. I don’t want her to know I work here, so I’m going to bounce.” He patted me on the back again. “Just focus on Derek.” He moved to the other side of the lobby and spoke to one of his colleagues.
I faced forward and watched them both take the stairs. It was the first time I’d seen Valerie in the flesh since the night I’d fished for my medal in the dark then packed my shit and left. She was in shorts that were so short, her ass probably hung out at the back. She wore strappy sandals and a pink tank top that was tight on her hourglass frame. Her long brown hair was as big as ever, in curls that hung down over her chest. Most of the men in the hotel stared at her.
The Man Who Has No Heart Page 20