After I dropped Valerie and Derek off at the hotel, I walked to Cleo’s apartment.
I didn’t want to go home—not after that.
When I got to her door, I pulled out my phone and texted her. Are you awake?
Yes. How’d it go?
I’m outside your door.
That bad, huh? Her footsteps sounded a moment later, and she unlocked the door. She was in a long t-shirt with her hair around her shoulders. Her makeup was gone, and she looked tired, like she’d had a long day. “Hey.”
“Hey.” I let myself inside and shut the door behind me. “Can I sleep here?”
“You think that’s a good idea?” she whispered.
“I’ll leave early in the morning.” I didn’t want to sleep in my big bed without her, especially now that all her stuff was gone. Her presence seemed to have been erased by Valerie’s visit.
She didn’t fight me, her eyes shifting back and forth as she looked into mine. “What happened?”
Too much to recount. “Did you take your stuff back?”
“No. I put it in one of the spare bedrooms.”
“Why?”
“Because I knew Valerie would look through your stuff…if she had the chance.”
I sighed. “Well, you were right.”
Her eyes fell. “Wow. You had a really bad night.”
I shook my head. “I don’t like the way she acts around Derek. She cusses, she’s rude—and then she marched through my condo, searching for evidence of your presence. It got to the point where Derek yelled at her…” I took a deep breath so my eyes wouldn’t water. “And told her to stop making me sad.”
Her eyes immediately softened, turning emotional. “God, he’s so sweet…”
“I know he is.” I took another deep breath, controlling my emotions, keeping my face impassive. “It prompted a long conversation with Valerie and me, where she said she wanted me back. Said she wanted us to be together. Said she didn’t want you to replace her. I told her it was never going to happen…and I’d like to be friends.”
“It sounds like it ended on good terms.”
I shrugged. “I really don’t know.”
“Well, I think hiding our relationship was the right choice.”
I sighed loudly.
“I know you don’t like it, but if she said all that, we should just leave it alone.”
I knew she was right—and I hated that she was right about this.
“I consider it to be a breakthrough. It’s the first time you two have really talked about your relationship and moving forward. She knows her behavior is unacceptable—now that her own son addressed it—and she knows she’ll be pushed away if she doesn’t change.”
Hopefully.
“So maybe when the weekend is over, you can talk to her about moving here.”
“Yeah. But I told her we’d never get back together, so there’s not much reason for her to.”
“Well, maybe she’ll do the best thing for Derek…for once.”
I looked into her beautiful face, finding her just as gorgeous when her face was clean of makeup. She didn’t need to wear designer clothes and tight skirts to be attractive. She didn’t need to do her hair or put on mascara. She was stunning exactly as she was. My arms hooked around her waist, and I pulled her close, my forehead resting against hers. Once she was against me, I felt myself calm, felt all my troubles melt away. I pictured us at the cabin, Derek falling asleep in front of the fire, her hand in mine under the blanket. That was my happy place, and when things were hard, that was what I thought about…and it somehow made everything better.
Twenty-Two
Cleo
Tucker picked me up at my apartment on the way to the restaurant. That way, we would show up together.
I locked my front door, and we walked together.
“Dreading this as much as I am?” Tucker asked as he slid his hands into his pockets.
“Probably more, honestly.”
He chuckled. “She’s staying at my hotel, and I’ve heard my colleagues mention her. Guess she’s a super bitch.”
“No surprise there.” We reached the sidewalk and walked a few blocks to the restaurant.
“What has Deacon said?”
I shrugged. “He and Valerie had a long talk about her behavior. Hopefully some good comes from it.”
“But he didn’t tell her about you?”
I shook my head. “She made it really clear she doesn’t want us to be together.”
He rolled his eyes. “She’s just jealous that you’re hotter than she is.”
I laughed loudly. “I am so not. That woman is like a Sports Illustrated swimsuit model. I don’t have a body like that, hair like that.”
He shook his head. “She’s gorgeous, I’m not gonna lie, but you’re a natural beauty. You don’t need to wear a ton of makeup or dress provocatively to be sexy. You’re like the girl-next-door type.”
“Well…thanks.”
“Trust me. Deacon thinks you’re the sexiest woman on the planet.”
“He said that?” I asked, wearing a smile.
“Not in those words, but the stuff he says about you… He thinks all other women are trolls in comparison.”
My stomach tightened in reaction.
“Yeah, he’s got it bad for you.” Tucker approached the restaurant. “So, you want to hold hands or something?”
“No. Just pull out my chair for me. That should be enough.”
“Got it.” He opened the door for me. “After you.”
I stepped inside first, and then we walked into the restaurant together. Deacon and Valerie sat across from each other at the table, Derek at the head of the table. They didn’t notice us right away.
Tucker walked beside me, close enough that our arms touched.
Deacon turned and looked at me, and instead of being annoyed with his brother’s closeness, his eyes shone like they always did when he saw me.
Derek got excited. “Cleo!” He hopped off the chair.
“He’s more excited to see you than me,” Tucker said in offense. “And I’m his uncle.”
Valerie looked at me, immediately sizing me up, clearly annoyed I was there.
I had purposely dressed in an unremarkable way, wearing jeans and a shirt, ditching the makeup and putting my hair in a ponytail. I wanted Valerie to find me unintimidating, and it meant a lot to me that Deacon didn’t look at me differently, as if nothing had changed.
Derek ran to me. “Cleo, I missed you.”
I didn’t want to brush off his affection just for Valerie’s sake, so I kneeled and hugged him. “I missed you too, Derek. How have you been?”
“Good. We went to the aquarium, and I touched a starfish.”
“Wow, that’s really cool.”
“Uh, excuse me?” Tucker kneeled at my side. “What about me?”
“Uncle Tucker.” Derek moved into him next.
I stood up and watched them embrace.
Tucker rose to his full height. “That’s more like it.” He walked to the table and pulled out the chair next to Deacon, knowing I wouldn’t be able to stand sitting close to her. “Here, babe.”
“Thanks.” I sat down and let him push my chair in.
Then he moved to the seat beside Valerie. “Hey, how’s it going?” He couldn’t even pretend to like her, could barely make himself look at her. He grabbed the menu and stared at it. “Hmm…I might get the steak and fries.”
I wanted to turn to Deacon, look at him like I usually did, talk to him like I usually did, but I had to force myself to look at my menu like he didn’t exist, like he wasn’t the most important thing in the world to me. “How are you liking the city, Valerie?”
She’d been stirring her iced tea with her straw when I addressed her. “It’s nice. I’ve been here many times.” She didn’t seem combative like last time, either because she was trying to show better behavior or seeing me with Tucker chased away her fears. “But it’s weird to walk everywhere. Can’t
wear my heels like usual.”
Well, I did it without a problem.
“What are you getting?” Tucker asked.
I scanned the menu. “Hmm…maybe the acai bowl. Or the coconut pancakes.”
“I’m getting the chocolate chip pancakes,” Derek said.
“No, you aren’t.” Deacon held up the menu. “You already had mac and cheese last night.”
“Oh, come on,” Derek said. “Grandma lets me order whatever I want. Mom does too.”
Of course she did.
“Well, I’m not either of those people. Pick something else, or I’ll pick for you.”
Derek sighed. “Whatever…”
Valerie watched the two of them interact, being quiet. She turned to me. “So, how long has this been going on?”
“Uh…a couple months,” Tucker said. “We met through Deacon.”
Tucker was the wrong man for me, and it felt odd to mention our relationship when Deacon and I were perfect together. Now I looked at him like a brother. “We have a lot in common, mainly our jobs.”
“Oh, that’s right,” Valerie said. “You’re both part of the help.”
It was an offensive thing to say, but I didn’t react.
But Tucker made a face, looking at Deacon with his eyebrow raised.
Deacon just shook his head.
This might be the worst lunch I’d ever had.
The waiter came over and we ordered, and Derek wisely picked the veggie bowl. Then Derek spoke to his father. “Are we going to the cabin tomorrow?”
“No.” Deacon rested his arms on the table, visibly more tense than usual because Valerie was there.
“Why not?” Valerie asked. “Derek talks about it so much that I looked forward to seeing it.”
I didn’t want her out there. It was our place.
Deacon was quiet for a while before he spoke. “It’s being fumigated. Can’t go for at least two weeks.”
That was a lie—and he pulled it off.
“Cool,” Derek said. “You think there are anthills inside?”
“Termites,” Deacon answered. “They’ll eat through the wood.”
“Didn’t you get an inspection when you bought the place?’ Valerie questioned, turning his response into an opportunity to interrogate him.
“Yes,” Deacon answered. “They weren’t there at the time.”
Tucker looked at me and mouthed. “Wow…super bitch.”
I had to keep a neutral face.
“Maybe next time,” Deacon answered. “Besides, I have a beach day planned tomorrow.”
“But I always go to the beach,” Derek said.
“The water here is warm,” Deacon said. “So, that’ll be a nice change.”
Derek shrugged.
It was amazing how different the dynamic was when Valerie was present, how much it affected the way we all interacted. Deacon was visibly miserable, the pain written all over his face. And the way he spoke to her, like he had to stop himself from seething. Tucker didn’t say much either, like she’d never been a sister-in-law to him.
I’d already known they had a bad relationship, but now I saw it in the flesh and realized that their dynamic was strained…even on their best day.
I didn’t see Deacon for the rest of the weekend.
He spent time with Valerie and Derek on his own.
But when he came home at night, he texted me. Hey.
Hey. How’d it go?
Fine. Even through text, his mood was obvious. Just trying to get through it.
Is Derek having fun?
Some. But he’s definitely different when he’s around both of us at the same time.
It’s almost over.
Yeah.
I stared at the phone and waited for the dots to appear, but they didn’t. Goodnight, Deacon. I wished he were next to me in bed, his hair messy from the way I fingered it. But shortly, those nights would return.
I miss you.
My eyes softened as I looked at the words on the screen. I miss you too.
I was sitting at my desk in the lobby when Derek walked up. “Hey, Cleo.”
I looked up from my computer, not expecting to see him there. “Hey, little man. What are you up to?”
He wore his superhero backpack like he was about to head home. “Just wanted to say goodbye. Mom and I are leaving.”
“Oh…” I could see how sad that made him, how hard it was to say goodbye. “It’s not goodbye, Derek. It’s just see you later.” I opened my arms and hugged him, my hand rubbing his back.
He rested against my body for a long time, like he didn’t want to leave.
I looked up to see Valerie on the phone, standing to the side while she spoke to someone. Her luggage was sitting next to her, along with Derek’s. And Deacon was there, watching me with his hands in his pockets, his eyes flat but filled with subtle emotion.
Derek pulled away. “I’ll miss you.”
Oh my god, he broke my heart a million more ways than my own husband did. “I’ll miss you too. We’ll go to the cabin next time you come for a visit.”
“Yeah, but I’m starting school soon. Not sure when I’ll come back.”
I still had him enrolled at the school down the street because I expected him to attend. “We’ll see.”
“I love you.” He looked into my eyes as he said it, just the way he did with his father.
Oh fuck, I was gonna cry. “I love you too….” I kept a straight face for him, not wanting to make him upset before he left.
He waved before he walked back to his father.
That was when my lips trembled and the tears fell down my cheeks.
Deacon watched me with sympathy—like he knew exactly how I felt. He grabbed the luggage and walked with Derek to the entrance. When Valerie was off the phone, she joined them without saying goodbye to me.
I grabbed the tissues off the desk and dried my eyes. My makeup was ruined but my eyes were too watery to reapply the eyeliner, so I just let it be. My eyes were puffy and my skin was red, so it would take time to look normal again, to deal with a client professionally.
Ten minutes later, Deacon returned. He walked up to the desk since no one was there. He kept his distance, his hands sliding into his pockets as he watched me.
Now I felt like a piece of my heart was missing—because Derek took it with him. “He said he loved me…”
“I already knew he did.”
I sighed. “I don’t know how you do it.”
“I hate it—every single time.”
I grabbed another tissue and traced under my eyes, cleaning up the messy eyeliner. “I’ll get Valerie to move here…if it’s the last thing I do.”
He continued to watch me.
“Not even for you…but for me.”
Deacon sat beside me on the couch in his condo, his elbows on his knees with his eyes on the floor.
“I think I should do this alone.”
He turned his gaze to me and gave me a gentle nod. He leaned in and kissed my hairline before he left the living room and headed down the hall. The door clicked when he entered his bedroom.
I stared at the phone for a while, terrified. I’d never wanted something so much in my life. When I handled the lives of my clients, I was always calm because the events never really affected my life. It allowed me to be logical and pragmatic. But I was emotional about this, because I needed Derek to be happy.
I sighed before I made the call.
It rang so long it didn’t seem like she would answer.
But she did. “Cleo.” She wasn’t warm to me at all, but she wasn’t cold either. It seemed like she just wanted to take care of business then return to forgetting I existed. Now that she thought I was no threat to her, she’d stopped thinking about me altogether—which was a good thing.
“Hey, Valerie. How are you?”
“Fine. Is there something you needed?” She didn’t care about being polite…since I was just the help.
“I wanted to talk to y
ou about something…if you have time.”
“Sure. Is Deacon alright?”
“He’s fine. It’s not about him.”
“Alright then, what is it?”
She hadn’t seemed to have had that great of a time in Manhattan, so I wasn’t sure if she’d been at all enticed. And Deacon made it clear there was no chance they could work out their problems. She really had no reason to come here at all. “Well, there’s a grammar school just down the street from Deacon, and it’s the best school in the country. It’s the alma mater of a lot of successful people that you see in the news. Their waiting list is three years long…but I got Derek in.”
“So?” she asked. “Unless this is online, I don’t see your point.”
“Well, I thought he could move here…”
Silence.
“Both of you,” I added, making it clear we weren’t trying to take her son from her.
She was quiet again.
“There’re a lot of opportunities for him here. And Deacon would love to see his son more often. It would be a great way for the two of you to be parents together, in the same place, at the same time.”
She sighed into the phone. “You expect me to move all the way across the country?”
“Yes. But it’s the greatest city on earth.”
“It’s still a lot to ask. It’s not like Deacon and I are getting back together.”
“No, but it would be a great opportunity to make amends for the past…”
She was quiet.
“And it’s the best for Derek. I understand your not wanting to leave California, but Deacon is the best tutor, teacher, adviser that Derek could ever have. He could really help Derek in ways you can’t.”
“Yes, I’m not a brainiac. You got me there.”
“The beach on Long Island is just a few hours away. The mountains are too. And Manhattan is the best place to be as a single woman. There are rich bachelors everywhere.”
She sighed again.
The Man Who Has No Heart Page 22