‘You have?’ She arched her throat into him as his lips travelled over her silky skin.
‘Yes,’ he groaned, then his mouth claimed hers, parting her lips to probe the deep warmth within.
‘And what promise is that?’ she breathed against his lips as he at last raised his head.
‘Not to make love to you again until that ring is off your finger and the promise to marry me is in its place.’ One of his hands moved to cup her breast.
For a few brief seconds his words didn’t sink in, lost as she was in the euphoria of his caressing fingertips. And then his words struck home, and she looked up at him with dazed golden eyes. ‘What did you say?’ she gasped.
His expression was hard, his mouth firm. ‘I don’t intend being any woman’s bit of forbidden sex, the man she goes to when she has a free afternoon from the hairdressers and her husband is out at work so that he can keep her in the luxury to which she’s decided she wants to become accustomed.’
Kate pulled completely out of his arms, staring up at him with wide disbelieving eyes. ‘Is that really what you think of me?’
‘Why else would you marry Richard James?’ he shrugged. ‘You certainly don’t love him.’
‘I respect him,’ she defended.
Jared’s eyes became flinty. ‘And you don’t respect me?’
It was crazy to feel actual pain by what he was saying to her, and yet she did, feeling a need to hurt him in return. ‘How can I possibly respect a man who says he lives on his wits, which is just another way of saying he moves from one woman to the next, living off them until the next one comes along?’ she scorned contemptuously.
Jared was very pale, his eyes icing over. ‘That’s what you think, is it?’ he rasped.
‘Coral seems to make a habit of helping “needy” young men who will be dependent on her.’ Her mouth twisted derisively. ‘And you can’t deny that you’ve been sleeping and eating at my flat the last two days, free of charge.’
‘So I’m no better than a gigolo, am I?’
‘No, I didn’t mean—’
‘Didn’t you?’ he taunted coldly. ‘I happen to think you did. Maybe I’ve been wrong about you after all, Kate. You choose to know people only as you see them—either you can’t, or don’t want to see beneath the surface. Brian Linton seems to be the man you really want,’ he bit out contemptuously. ‘And from what Coral was saying about their marriage earlier he may soon be free to come back to you.’ His gaze raked over her with open disgust. ‘I’m sorry I ever met you!’
‘Jared—’ The door slammed behind him as he left.
Damn him! Why did he have to keep intruding into her life, making outrageous statements before leaving again? Could it possibly be true that Brian’s marriage was already floundering? Coral had seemed to imply that it was, she had also seemed to be saying it was partly Kate’s fault. But she wouldn’t want Brian now if he were to come back to her, would she? No, of course not. He had shown his true nature when he had let her down so badly with Coral.
As she had shown hers when she threw those hateful accusations at Jared just now? What was it about him that made her do and say such things! Of course she didn’t believe he was a gigolo, he had never asked her for anything, and Coral had been the one doing the chasing today, not the other way around.
Could that really be the root of the trouble, was she jealous of his past relationship with the other woman? To feel jealousy she would have to admit to being in love with him—and not even to herself was she prepared to make such an admission about Jared.
She wrenched open her office door. ‘Beryl!’ she rasped, ignoring the other woman’s surprised expression at her aggression. ‘If my “brother” ever comes here again I do not want to see him. Is that understood?’ she grated.
‘Yes, but—’
‘Good,’ she bit out abruptly. ‘Did Richard call?’ she rasped.
‘No.’
‘Oh.’ Kate’s mouth tightened, her humour not improved at all by this information. ‘Could you get him on the line for me? Now,’ she added curtly as Beryl made no effort to do so.
‘Oh—oh, of course.’ Her secretary at once began to make the call.
Kate went back into her office, closing the door to lean back against it weakly, the angry fog beginning to clear from her brain. But before it could clear completely the telephone on her desk began to ring. With a deep sigh she picked up the receiver, her hand shaking slightly as she did so. Jared made her feel such extremes of emotions, weak with desire, mindless with anger.
‘Your call to Richard, Kate,’ Beryl informed her distantly.
Damn, now she had upset one of her closest friends too! She would have to try and explain the reason for her temper later. Well, not exactly explain it, but—
‘Kate? Kate, are you there? Is there anything wrong?’
Richard’s concerned voice finally penetrated the vehement intensity of her thoughts, and she felt her anger returning as it did. ‘No, nothing is wrong,’ she snapped. ‘Everything is right. But you didn’t even bother to telephone and find out, did you? I suppose my career must seem very unimportant to you, but I—’
‘Kate!’ he firmly interrupted her tirade. ‘What’s all this about?’
‘What’s—! Don’t you remember what today is?’
‘Today? But—Oh, your meeting with Colin Harkness?’ he suddenly realised. ‘How did it go?’
‘Do you care?’
‘Well, of course I care,’ he sighed his exasperation with her childishness. ‘Look, I realise you’re upset, Kate,’ his voice gentled, ‘but you really can’t win them all. And I did warn you—’
‘I got it,’ she put in tersely, surprised that he didn’t realise the power he wielded. Just the fact that she was his fiancée had been enough to make Colin Harkness knuckle under.
‘—that you—What did you say?’ Richard suddenly seemed to realise she had spoken.
‘I got it, Richard—the Melford contract,’ she revealed tightly. ‘I go in and sign it at the end of the week.’
For a moment he seemed stunned, then, ‘Why, that’s wonderful, Kate,’ he enthused. ‘You clever girl! Where would you like to go to celebrate tonight?’
His reaction now was everything she could have wished for, and yet at that moment she was remembering a different sort of reaction, a quietly confident reaction that had been warming as well as encouraging. Jared had been so sure of her capabilities that he had waited here for her return with a bottle of champagne, and a short time ago she had levelled accusations at him that now made her blush with shame.
‘Kate?’ Richard prompted impatiently at her silence.
God, she had sent Jared away from here believing she despised him, and she didn’t, she—She what? Loved him? No, she didn’t love him, but she had had no right to be condescending about his way of life. So he enjoyed a life with no responsibilities or commitment, it was his life, damn it! But if he didn’t want responsibility or commitment why had he asked her to marry him?
‘Kate!’ Richard was becoming impatient now. ‘Look, there’s no need to sulk just because I was a little remiss about your appointment at Melfords. I didn’t—’
‘I’m not sulking,’ she hastily assured him. ‘I never sulk,’ she added lightly. ‘But there’s no need for us to celebrate anything.’ She had already done enough of that today, with disastrous results. ‘The time to celebrate will be when I make a success of it. I have months of hard work ahead of me before I can lay claim to that,’ and none of Richard’s wealth or influence could help her with that!
‘We can still do a little quiet celebrating,’ Richard suggested huskily. ‘At my place?’
‘That sounds nice,’ she accepted softly, her burning anger of a few minutes ago having faded and died completely. ‘I’ll come over about eight, shall I?’
‘Ever the independent woman!’ he teased. ‘Eight o’clock will be fine.’
Kate stared silently off into space once Richard had rung off. What wou
ld he think if he knew that once, for two very brief days, she hadn’t been independent at all, that she had given herself into a man’s keeping for that time, that she had felt cherished and cared for, the outside world not mattering to her at all, not even Brian?
Jared had made her feel all that, had given her all that, and now he was gone—and she didn’t even have a telephone number where she could reach him and apologise. She might never see him again.
* * *
Richard’s flat was a typical bachelor home, any feminine touches being supplied by the housekeeper who came in every day, conveniently returning to her own home in the evenings. Tonight had been no exception to that. Kate and Richard were alone as soon as dinner had been cleared away, relaxing together in the cream and black lounge.
With the eye of a trained artist, dealing with colour and settings every day, Kate could see several changes in the décor she would like to make here, ways of adding warmth, of giving character to the rooms that although stylish were sadly lacking in personality.
‘So how is the work going on my new advertising campaign?’ Richard came to sit beside her on the sofa after pouring each of them a glass of brandy.
‘I’ve given it to Clarissa,’ she grimaced. ‘Mr Harkness has insisted that I have to do the work for Melfords myself.’ She had received a call from him this afternoon instructing her to do just that, the softening in his manner she had sensed this morning completely gone.
‘So you aren’t going to have time to deal with my work,’ Richard added dryly.
‘No,’ she admitted ruefully.
‘I realise Melfords is important to you, Kate,’ he swirled the brandy about in his bulbous glass, ‘but don’t forget the smaller men are the ones who have kept you in work up until now. I’ve put a lot of colleagues on to your agency, I would hate to think you were going to let me down.’
‘Let you down—!’
‘Now don’t lose your temper, Kate,’ he soothed, grasping her hand in his. ‘I don’t know what’s got into you this last week, but you’ve been positively volatile. Is it because of the situation between the two of us?’ he prompted softly.
‘Situation between us?’ Kate frowned her puzzlement. ‘I don’t know what you mean. We’re engaged to be married—’
‘And we’re both adults, with adult needs,’ Richard finished pointedly, his dark brows quirked above questioning eyes. ‘I don’t know about you, but celibacy is starting to become a strain for me.’
‘But we agreed—’
‘Agreements like that are meant to be broken, Kate,’ he interrupted tersely. ‘It’s nearly three months since I made love to a woman, just before we started seeing each other, and you’re so beautiful.’ He took the brandy glass out of her hand as she looked up at him wordlessly. ‘You must know I love you, Kate, that I want you very much.’
He was so close she could feel the warmth of his breath in her hair, his hand gently caressing her cheek now, turning her purposefully towards him, his mouth coming down towards hers.
And she suddenly didn’t want him to kiss her, knew it even before his mouth claimed hers, his lips probing, devouring, trying to draw her into the desire he was already feeling.
‘I’m very tired tonight, Richard,’ she evaded his mouth with a lightly dismissive laugh. ‘It’s been a hectic week.’
‘You don’t have to do a thing, Kate,’ he mocked. ‘Just relax and I’ll take care of everything, for you.’ His lips travelled the length of her throat, the thin shoulder straps on the green dress she wore giving him easy access to the creamy flesh there.
She only just stopped herself pushing him away, suffering the touch of his mouth and hands. She had no idea what was wrong with her, why she should feel this way. Richard had kissed her dozens of times before, so why she should feel this aversion tonight she didn’t know. But she did feel it; she couldn’t bear the thought of him making love to her.
‘I’m really not in the mood, Richard.’ She moved out of his arms, standing up to smooth her hair, flushing as she saw the anger in his face. ‘I—I’m not prepared,’ she hurried to excuse herself.
‘I told you, I’ll take care of you.’ Richard came to stand beside her. ‘It would help ease your tension,’ he encouraged softly.
‘I’m not tense,’ her voice was brittle, ‘I’m just tired. Maybe coming here tonight wasn’t such a good idea,’ she said nervously, suddenly realising this was the ‘celebrating’ he had intended them to do tonight.
‘Don’t be silly, darling,’ he mocked indulgently. ‘Just relax,’ he repeated.
‘Richard, I would rather not—’
‘What on earth is the matter with you?’ He swung away from her, his patience at an end. ‘I’m suggesting that we make love, not that I rape you!’
Kate swallowed hard, not knowing herself what was wrong, let alone able to explain her feelings to Richard. ‘Darling, please try to understand.’ She put her hands on his chest appealingly, hastily removing them as she saw his eyes darken with desire. ‘I don’t want you to be disappointed our first time to gether—’
‘You could never disappoint me, don’t you know that?’ he murmured huskily.
‘But I would if we made love tonight. It’s late, Richard.’ She looked pointedly at her wrist-watch, anxious to get away from here. ‘Maybe tomorrow, hmm?’
‘If that’s what you would prefer.’ He became distant from her, both mentally and physically.
She had angered him, she knew that. And yet the thought of making love with him filled her with panic. She was angry with herself now, wondering at her own behaviour. And yet she couldn’t go through with it, no matter how angry Richard felt with her.
She was still berating herself on the drive home. She knew by the chaste kiss goodnight she had received that Richard was still displeased with her. As well he might be; she would be his wife in a few weeks’ time, she couldn’t reject him in the same way then. And she had rejected him, had turned away from him in revulsion.
Because of Jared! Because of the way he made her feel when he touched her, because of the fact that he had walked out on her this afternoon without telling her where he was staying, without giving her any way of contacting him if she needed to.
And why should she need to contact him, what possible reason could there be? She didn’t know; all she did know was that she didn’t like not knowing where he was, who he was with.
She half expected him to be waiting for her at her flat, another reason she had wanted to leave Richard’s, and she entered her home with a sense of excitement, although only a cursory glance told her he wasn’t there. What if he should never come back? That was what she wanted, wasn’t it! Was it? Oh, she didn’t know any more, she didn’t know anything!
Overwork, that was what was wrong with her, overwork and tension. Maybe she should have stayed with Richard after all!
And yet when the knock sounded on the door a few minutes later she rushed to open it. What would Jared bring as a peace-offering this time—another bottle of champagne, more roses? He was an idiot, but she would be relieved to see his ruggedly handsome face again.
‘I thought you might—Oh,’ her triumphant smile faded, her eyes dulling to disappointment. ‘Gill!’ She forced lightness into her voice.
The young girl outside her apartment gave an encouraging smile; she was tall and blonde, with such a succession of men passing through her life that Kate didn’t know how she managed to remember all their names. ‘I’m not disturbing you, am I?’ she queried softly.
‘Not at all,’ Kate’s smile was tight. ‘What can I do for you?’
‘I wondered if you have some coffee I could borrow?’ Gill looked hopeful. ‘I have the instant kind, but my—my friend only drinks the percolated sort, and I know you always have some. Would you mind?’
‘Come in,’ Kate invited wearily. ‘Please sit down,’ she invited. ‘I’ll go and get the coffee.’
Gill didn’t take up the offer to sit down but followed her through t
o the kitchen. ‘I can’t tell the difference myself,’ she chattered on. ‘But Giles—that’s my friend,’ she blushed lightly, ‘he says he can’t drink instant.’
Having tried both types herself Kate could sympathise with Giles. ‘The man with the Lamborghini,’ she murmured as she searched through a cupboard for the coffee.
‘Sorry?’ Gill sounded puzzled.
‘Your friend drives a Lamborghini.’ Kate spoke into the depths of the cupboard, finally grasping the tin she had been looking for; she really would have to tidy up in here, it was a mess! ‘Here you are, you may as well take the whole tin,’ she gave the other girl a tight smile, knowing the coffee, like the tea and sugar Gill borrowed from time to time, would never be returned.
‘Thanks,’ Gill accepted. ‘And you’re wrong about Giles’ car, he drives a BMW.’
‘Oh.’ So already the man in the powerful red car had gone, and been forgotten too, if Gill’s interest in Giles was anything to go by. Maybe things would have been less complicated in her own life if she had stuck to fleeting affairs like Gill did. ‘Er—’ she stopped the other woman at the door, ‘would you mind very much returning my vegetable dishes?’ she requested ruefully. ‘It’s been several weeks now …’
‘Of course,’ Gill nodded happily. ‘I’ll bring them up to you.’
Kate didn’t hold out much hope of that ever happening, she had heard the same promise too many times since Gill had first borrowed the dishes. Oh well, she had tried.
* * *
To say she was bad-tempered the next day would be putting it mildly—she hardly knew herself.
She had slept very badly, had half expected, despite the lateness of the hour, that Jared would still put in an appearance. He hadn’t. And her night’s sleep had suffered because of it.
‘Is there anything wrong, Kate?’ Beryl came into her office towards late afternoon.
‘Wrong?’ Kate looked up vaguely. ‘Of course there’s nothing wrong, why should there be?’ she scowled.
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