by J. Sterling
Brooke touched a finger to her cheeks, running along the contour line.
“I’d never be able to recreate this look. Ever.” Then she took out her cell phone and snapped a few selfies.
“I can,” I said from behind her. “I’ll help you anytime you want.”
“Thanks, Jess.”
Several bars were lined up only a few blocks away from our apartment, so the decision to walk there was easy. But that didn’t stop Rachel from complaining the entire time about the weather (too chilly) and her shoes (hurt already).
I gave her an exasperated look. “No one told you to wear four-inch heels. It’s a college bar, Rachel.”
She stuck out her tongue. “Don’t make fun of the fact that I like to look gorgeous at all times.”
She did look gorgeous, but the shoes were ridiculous.
I glanced at the time on my cell phone once more, noting that it was almost four. All the air in my lungs expelled as if I’d been punched in the stomach, and I stopped walking, bending over at the waist to catch my breath. Squeezing my eyes closed, I demanded the tears not fall.
I will not fall apart. I will not fall apart.
Both girls were at my side in an instant. “You okay?” Rachel asked, and I nodded.
“Come on. Let’s get you drunk!”
The fact that those words came out of Brooke’s mouth and not Rachel’s had me standing up and putting one foot in front of the other instantly.
“You can do this. We’re right here with you,” Rachel reassured me as we walked arm in arm.
“Yeah. And Nick’s the stupidest guy I’ve never met. I may not really know him, but I hate him anyway,” Brooke said.
Glancing at her, I couldn’t stop myself from laughing. The girl was comedic gold today.
Our first stop was at the biggest and rowdiest bar on the row. Even though it was still early, plenty of people were already there.
Brooke and Rachel were both already twenty-one, but I still needed to use the fake ID Nick had gotten for me. This would only be my third time. Nerves shot through me as we approached the beefy security guard manning the door, even though I knew I had no reason to be nervous. The picture on the ID was me, even if the name wasn’t, but this would only be my third time using it.
When we got in easily, I glanced at Rachel, my eyes wide like it had been a close call, and she laughed.
“That’s literally the best fake I’ve ever seen. Stop stressing.”
“Nick got it for you, right?” Brooke asked, even though I’d told her that the other time we’d gone out together.
“Yeah.”
She cocked her head, giving me a serious look. “At least he was good for something.”
“I think you’re responsible for this,” I said to Rachel, jerking my chin toward Brooke. “All that makeup and hair has given her sass.”
The three of us headed straight to the round bar in the center of the room and sat down on the stools. When the bartender asked us what we wanted, I felt like a complete rookie, having no idea what the hell to order.
I couldn’t ask for a No Bad Days because I didn’t even know if it was a real drink, or what was in it. So I grumbled, “I need to get drunk quick. So probably a shot.”
“What kind of shot,” he asked, already irritated by my indecision.
“Just give us three kamikaze shots, please,” Rachel said, and the bartender turned his back.
Brooke frowned. “He’s not very nice.”
“I think I made him mad.”
“So sue us for not knowing what we want to drink. I’m so sorry we aren’t professional alcoholics,” Brooke spat out, and I couldn’t help but laugh at her.
“You’re killing me tonight,” I told her as the bright drinks appeared in front of us.
“Are we making a toast?” Rachel asked as she picked up her drink.
I grimaced. “To forgetting? To moving on? To assholes?”
“Or how about to good friends. They’re much better than guys nine times out of ten,” Brooke said.
We toasted each other, clinking our glasses together before downing the sweet drink.
“That’s not gonna do,” I admitted. “I definitely need something stronger.
Drinking It All Away
Jess
One straight shot of vodka turned into two, and my head already felt fuzzy. Why people drank this stuff straight was beyond me, but here I was, doing the same damned thing.
“I think I need some cranberry juice in the next one. I can’t just drink this shit straight. It’s awful,” I admitted as I sneaked a glance at the time on my phone.
It was well past five now.
“Let’s pace ourselves, or we’ll be carrying you home in an hour. And I did not drive all the way up here to be in bed by six o’clock, Jess Michaelson,” Rachel demanded.
“You’re right. I don’t want to be in bed by six either. Six is for losers. Losers who are getting married right now. Or who are already married, probably dancing at their stupid reception or cutting a stupid cake,” I babbled as a hiccup tore through me, hurting my chest. “Ow.”
“Can I get a water, please?” Brooke asked the bartender, her sass level down a notch. Apparently normal Brooke was back in full effect.
At some point, I stopped keeping track of the time and counting how many drinks I’d poured down my throat. The world was soft and I felt good, happy even. I looked at my two girlfriends as we bopped around on the makeshift dance floor.
“Alcohol is my new best friend. No offense, girls.”
They laughed and asked if I was ready to go home yet. Rachel’s feet hurt, and Brooke could only take the bar scene for so long. I nodded, content with my buzz. I’d have agreed to just about anything in that moment.
We ended up staying out until nine, which didn’t sound very impressive, but when you started partying at four in the afternoon, making it until nine seemed like something you should win an award for.
“Can we order pizza when we get back?” I asked. “Say yes. Please say yes, or I might punch you.”
“When you put it that way, you leave us no choice,” Rachel said, guiding me by the arm down the street.
“I bet her dress was pretty. Do you think it was pretty? Probably custom made,” I babbled as we walked home, my thoughts returning to Nick and Carla. I swore my mind hadn’t been there just five minutes earlier, but now they were all I could think about.
“It was probably gaudy, trashy, and over the top, just like her,” Rachel snapped.
“I hope she tripped walking down the aisle,” Brooke added with a wicked grin, coming to a halt as we rounded the corner to our apartment. “What the hell is that? Is that someone at our door?” She squinted at a dark figure that sat slumped against our door, as if that would help her see more clearly.
Rachel and I both stopped walking, and I gasped. I’d recognize that shape, that shadowed figure anywhere, even in my drunken state.
Nick.
He was here.
“Oh my God,” Rachel whispered before letting my arm go.
“What is it?” Brooke asked before it dawned on her. “Wait, is that him?” When Rachel nodded, Brooke’s gaze pinged between Nick and me. “Is he dead? He’s not moving.”
My heart jumped.
“Don’t say that,” I demanded as I rushed toward him. He sat against the door, his arms crossed over his chest as he slept. Lord only knew how long he’d been waiting there.
It had been so long since I’d seen him. Too long. If I thought time would be bad to him, I was wrong. Nick Fisher looked better than ever, and it had nothing to do with the tux he was wearing.
“Are you gonna wake him up, or do I get to do it?” Rachel asked wickedly, and I felt like a wild animal, willing to tear her arm off if she even touched him.
I bent down, my face inches from his as I studied him. As my heart pounded inside my chest, the weight in my stomach disappeared. This was Nick, my Nick, and I still loved him. After all this time—Go
d, I still loved him.
Placing my hand on his shoulder, I gently shook his sleeping frame.
His eyes opened slowly and his wary gaze instantly softened as recognition dawned. “Jess.”
“What are you doing here?” My eyes filled with tears, my entire body hopeful after so many months of feeling anything but hope.
“I couldn’t do it,” he said as he reached for my face, and I leaned into his touch, craving it. “I couldn’t fucking do it, Jess.”
When someone cleared their throat behind us, alerting Nick to the fact that we weren’t alone, he looked up and pushed himself up from the ground with a crooked smile on his lips. “Rachel.”
She grinned back at him. “This better be good. I swear to God, Nick Fisher, this better be the story to end all stories,” she said, but her threat lacked any real force behind it.
Nick looked at me, his eyes locking on mine as he said, “I’ll let you know how it ends.”
“I’m Brooke, by the way,” my roommate said as she moved past him, reaching for her keys.
“Pleasure to meet you. I’m Nick.”
“Oh, I know who you are. And yeah, what Rachel said.” Brooke tried to sound tough before unlocking the door and disappearing inside, dragging a reluctant Rachel with her.
“How long have you been out here?” I asked. The alcohol that only minutes ago was fogging my mind had seemingly evaporated, leaving me acutely aware of every detail of what was happening now.
He shrugged. “A couple hours, maybe.”
“Why didn’t you call?”
“I don’t have my phone. I had your address on a napkin in my glove compartment. It’s been there for months. I could never bring myself to throw it out. Thank God I didn’t, although I would have found you anyway.”
I pursed my lips, a million questions on the tip of my tongue, but I stopped them all and waited for Nick to take the lead. He stared at me, his eyes looking into mine like he was searching for answers somewhere in their depths.
“I am so sorry, Jess. For everything.” He reached for my hand, and I let him take it. “I messed up when it came to you, over and over again. It’s like the only thing I could get right was doing you wrong.” His eyes narrowed, his expression pained.
I sucked in a shaky breath, hoping he would go on before I was required to say anything in response. I craved more from him, needed more than just a simple apology. As I waited, his thumb drew lazy circles across my fingers.
“I know it’s not enough to tell you how sorry I am. I know they’re just words. But I walked out of that wedding today for you,” he said. “And for me.”
I gasped, already knowing that his being here most likely meant that there had been no wedding today, but I didn’t know the details. And I suddenly found myself wanting them. Every single last one.
“You walked out?” I asked through my surprise and shock.
“I wanted to run.” He smirked, and I returned his smile as he dropped my hand. “Can we go inside? It’s freezing out here.”
“Yeah, of course,” I said, feeling silly for not suggesting it myself as I opened the door and stepped inside. Both Rachel and Brooke were on the couch with the television on, graham crackers in their hands.
“We ordered that pizza, by the way,” Rachel announced as soon as Nick closed the door behind him.
“Pizza?” His ears perked up.
“Not for you,” Rachel snapped. “Unless we decide you deserve it. We might want you to starve.”
I smiled, so grateful for my friends. “We’re going to talk in my room. Do you need anything out of there?” I asked Rachel, and she made a face.
“Nope. Just don’t do anything gross on any of my stuff.”
“Always nice to see you, Rachel,” Nick said.
As he followed me down the hall, I waited for a smartass response from my best friend, but it never came.
There was nowhere really to sit in my room, no couch or chair, so our choices were either my bed or the floor. Without much thought, I hopped onto my bed and scooted until my back was against the wall.
Nick stood in the doorway until I told him that he was allowed to join me. Avoiding my eyes, he made sure not to sit too close or crowd my personal space, even though I wasn’t sure how much distance I wanted between us in that moment. He had just walked out of his wedding, after all.
“Okay, so where was I?” he asked.
Nervous, I played with my bottom lip until I noticed he had shifted. When I saw where his gaze had landed, I let go of my mouth.
“You were telling me about the wedding,” I said, refusing to call it his wedding.
He sucked in a deep breath, his chest expanding, and now my eyes were the ones that couldn’t get there fill.
“I couldn’t do it, Jess. I just couldn’t bring myself to walk down that aisle to marry someone who wasn’t you. I kept hearing your voice in my head, telling me that there would be a moment that was too far, and I realized this was that moment. Frank said the same thing. Ryan too. But there were bigger things at play here, Jess. It wasn’t just the fact that I hated letting my old man down. It was different this time, a lot more at stake.”
Frustrated and confused, I demanded, “Just tell me. Please. Tell me everything.”
“Carla’s dad threatened to blackball you in the entertainment industry if I didn’t marry his daughter. I believed him, Jess. Hell, I still believe him, but I won’t let him do it. I don’t know how, but I’ll make sure he has no say in your future.”
I wasn’t even the least bit prepared for that. Nick didn’t hold back, though, and I was grateful for it. I didn’t want him to protect my feelings or keep things from me. I wanted to be in the loop, completely clued in, no matter what. But this sucked.
Fear ripped through me as I thought about losing everything I’d worked so hard for. “Could he really do that?”
“He has a lot of power and tons of contacts.” Nick shrugged. “But I don’t really know how your industry works.”
It worked like that; it definitely worked like that. My fears were pushed to the side, though, as another realization sank in. It had taken a minute for me to put together the fact that Nick had done all this to protect me.
“You were going to marry her for me?”
Nick nodded vigorously. “I thought it was the only way. I didn’t know what else to do. But I was sitting in that room this afternoon, so fucking torn over which way was up. I would do anything to protect you, but marrying her felt so wrong.”
I scooted closer to him. He was too far away.
“So, what happened today? Did you just leave or did you say something?” I asked, wondering if he had caused a scene, fought with his dad, or quietly slipped out a back door without anyone’s knowledge.
“Ryan and Frank stopped by the room I was waiting in until the service started, and noticed how I was losing my shit. I told them I couldn’t do this, that I would do anything for you, but this seemed like going against you somehow.”
“What did they say?” I asked with a small smile. I really liked his brothers.
“If Ryan had pom-poms, he would have turned into a cheerleader in that moment. He’s always been Team Jess,” Nick said with a laugh. “And Frank was as tough as usual, promising me that we’d figure this out and make sure no one messed with your career.”
“But they were on board with you walking out?”
“They couldn’t have been more on board. The only thing they asked me to do was tell our dad before I took off.”
My heart plummeted. “Oh my gosh. Did you?” I could only imagine how awful that conversation must have been.
“I didn’t have a choice. He walked in at that exact moment, like he sensed that I was about to bolt.”
Get the Girl
Nick
Jess gasped again, and I wanted to take her pretty mouth and make sure the only sound coming from it was from the pleasure I was giving her. But I was jumping ahead of myself, and I knew it.
&nbs
p; “Dad took one look at me and knew what I was about to do. He told me to sit down, then asked Frank and Ryan to leave.”
Her gorgeous eyes widened. “Did they?”
“Hell no. They both leaned against the wall and crossed their arms, refusing to budge.”
That got a giggle out of her. I loved that laugh. I fucking missed it something fierce.
“Go on. I’m dying here,” she admitted with a grin, and it made me smile back like a lovesick fool.
“Dad asked me what was going on. For once, he actually looked and sounded concerned for my well-being.”
“Shocking.”
“I know, right? Anyway, I told him that I couldn’t do it, and then I apologized, Jess. Can you believe that? I fucking apologized to the man. But I told him I wouldn’t do it, that this was asking too much of me. Told him it wasn’t fair and it wasn’t right. And then I quit. And I told him if he ever threatened you or your future again, that I’d kill him.”
Her eyes grew wide again and she whispered, “You said that? To your father?”
“It was like once I started talking and stood my ground, I couldn’t stop. I told him I had to go. That I didn’t care what he did to me, but I was leaving. And you know what he said, Jess?” Her head tilted as she waited for me to continue. “He told me to go. He told me to get out of there before anyone saw me. That he would handle things.”
Her hand flew to her mouth, covering what I was certain was another gasp of surprise. “I can’t believe this.”
“He also apologized to me as I was walking out the door. He told me he was sorry. That almost stopped me in my tracks so I could turn around and acknowledge what he was giving me. But it wasn’t enough. Not when I compared it to you.” I touched her cheek for only a moment. “I couldn’t get here fast enough, Jess. I got into my truck and drove straight here. It pissed me off every time I had stop for gas, which was only once, but it was one time too many.”
Her expression softened, her eyes brightening with the tears that were forming. “I can’t believe you quit. I’m so proud of you.” She beamed. “So you’ll work at the bar then?”