by Unknown
“Vervain,” he whispered and kissed me gently. “I thought... we thought...”
“I know and I'm sorry,” I nodded. “I had some baby issues.”
“Is the child okay?” Trevor took my arm.
“Mom?” Vidar pushed his way through my men. “Are you alright?”
“We both are,” I nodded to him. “Where's Thor?”
“What?” Vidar gaped at me.
“He's with Ull's body,” Odin looked emotionally destroyed. His face was drawn with sorrow, tears pouring down his cheeks. “Ull didn't make it.”
“I know,” I reached out to Odin and took his hand. “I saw it.”
“Minn Elska, the child?” Trevor asked again.
“And you,” Kirill slid in beside me. “Are you okay?”
“I'm fine,” I reassured him. “Me and the baby. I also know who the father is,” I gentled my tone. “It's Arach.”
“I figured it was,” Trevor gave a little laugh, “after that display of pyrotechnics.”
“Very impressive,” Kirill nodded. “I'm not disciplining zat child.”
“You won't have to,” I laughed and gave him a kiss on the cheek. “Now, Odin, take me to Thor and Ull.”
Odin frowned but did what I asked, leading me carefully through piles of ash and corpses. There were celebrating nagas everywhere, freed slaves reuniting with their families as Kadru went among them all to check on her children. I saw Rhiannon clinging to Constantin as Epona stroked her hair, and she caught my gaze, waving to me with a small smile. I gave her a little nod as I continued to follow Odin through the remnants of war.
Then I saw them.
Thor was kneeling on the ground, holding Ull's body as he sobbed over it. He was covered in Ull's blood but obviously didn't care. He'd gathered Ull's head to him as well, cradling it into his side with one arm while holding his body with the other. It tore at me, reminding me of when Odin had died. I must have looked very much like Thor did now.
“Thor,” I whispered and laid a hand on his shoulder.
He jerked and looked up at me with stormy, horrified eyes. I'd never seen him so distraught, never seen him mourn so deeply. I began to cry too, even though I knew that Ull was safe now. I still mourned my friend, mourned the loss of him in this form and the interaction I'd never share with him again. I'd miss his mischievous wit and the easy banter we always shared but I'd look forward to seeing it again in my son.
“Vervain,” Thor cried out and grabbed me with one bloody hand, pulling me into him and burying his face into my belly, almost as if he sensed where Ull was. “My son. He was my son, it didn't matter that his blood was not my own. I raised him. I loved him. He was mine.”
“I know, honey,” I stroked his hair gently as the others joined us, encircling us in a silent and respectful barrier. “I loved him too but I have something to tell you that may help just a little.”
“What?” He choked out a sob. “Did he die saving you too?”
“No,” I swallowed hard. “But he will live through me.”
“What?” Thor pulled back to look up at me.
“I went into the Void and offered Ull a choice,” I began. “I could find him a new body and bring him back or he could begin again... as my son.”
“Your son?” Thor sat back heavily.
“He wanted a new start, Thor,” I whispered. “He had a fresh perspective. He said it was time to begin a new cycle and at least with me, he'd know where he was going.”
“Are you saying?” He looked down at my stomach.
“I have him,” I took his hand and placed it on my belly. “I have your son. He's safe and soon, he'll be my son too.”
“Oh, Vervain,” Thor gave a shaking sigh as the others made sounds of surprise. “This is what he wanted?”
“The choice was his,” I nodded.
“Then I guess I must respect that,” he looked at his hand on my stomach and blinked away his tears. He finally gave a small smile. “You're having my son.”
“Never say that to Arach,” I gave a little laugh.
“Aw come on,” he made a valiant effort at teasing. “It would be so fun.”
“You can visit him whenever you wish,” I went serious.
“Ull is going to be a faerie prince,” he began to chuckle in earnest. “That little brat is going to rule the Kingdom of Fire someday.”
“Hopefully not any day soon,” I grinned.
“Thank you,” Thor's laughter subsided and he leaned forward to lay a gentle kiss on my belly. “Take care of him for me.”
“Like he's my own child,” I vowed with a smile.
Chapter Thirty-Eight
When I got a good look at the destruction we'd wrought, I'd worried that we'd wiped out the vanara entirely. Thankfully, I was wrong. There were still quite a few vanaras, suparnas, and rikshas left. They'd thrown down their weapons and surrendered when I'd gone all insane-inferno on their asses.
Jambavant was of course dead and the remaining suparna leader, Aruna, had also been killed but Hanuman had survived and had agreed to never enslave the nagas again, in exchange for his continued existence. The suparnas and rikshas were in a bad state after losing their leaders and had quickly departed vanara territory after also vowing to never come against the nagas again.
Constantin was happily reunited with his band of brothers and Rhiannon was reunited with her mother. Epona actually came up to me and shook my hand, muttering something about my impressive fire abilities. Miracles never cease.
The nagas had a few fatalities but it was less than the number of people they got returned to them, so I think they were happy with the results. They seemed so at least, there were jubilant faces on all of the snakes. Kadru herself invited all of us to Bhogavati for a celebratory feast. Since the only fatality we'd suffered was Ull and his soul was now safely within me, we all felt inclined to accept the invitation. Hekate opened another pathway for us and we went en masse to Bhogavati.
I've experienced quite a few celebratory feasts but this was the first time I'd paraded through a city like a returning hero. My dragon would have preened and I could actually feel her lifting inside me with unmistakable pride, but I was humbled. To walk through the streets of Bhogavati with our victorious army as the nagas cheered and rained fragrant petals down over us, was an experience I will never forget. As we marched, the freed nagas found their families and there were soon crying circles of nagas everywhere, their arms around each other and faces filled with love. There was so much gratitude, such an outpouring of joy and unrestrained celebration. I felt grateful to be included.
Our group was soaking it up with smiles and waves, looking more like the conquering heroes than I felt. I realized that for most of them, this was probably a situation they'd experienced before. As gods, I'm sure they used to receive accolades all the time but that sort of worship had stopped centuries ago. They'd gone all this time without it, without most humans even believing in them anymore, all while fighting on behalf of humanity. So I'm sure it felt amazing to finally have some recognition for their efforts.
My Intare have never been worshiped but as men who have overcome oppression to become warriors, they received their accolades with even more vehemence than the gods. I was so happy to see it. They deserved to be appreciated for not only their hard work but for their selflessness in doing the right thing and fighting for others who were oppressed. I smiled as Aidan scooped up a little naga girl, tossed her in the air, caught her, and kissed her cheek before returning her to her mother. The little girl screeched and clapped her hands in delight.
A banquet had been laid out in the courtyard before the naga palace so that the entire city could attend and I found myself directed to a table with Kadru herself. Before I could sit though, Azrael caught my arm and pulled me to the side. He maneuvered us to a quieter spot around a corner of the palace.
“What is it?” I asked him as I searched his face.
“I understand now,” he said gently. “You have such pow
erful forces inside you, constantly pulling you in different directions. Remaining the same is impossible and would probably be detrimental to your health. You had to grow and learn to make compromises within yourself. I should have applauded those compromises instead of criticizing them.”
“It was the dragon that convinced you, wasn't it?” I gave a little laugh. “She has that affect.”
“Yes,” he hung his head and laughed a little too. “I can see how she would be hard for you to resist and I happen to know a little about the temperament of dragons. Torture is not an issue for them as long as it brings them the result they're after.”
“Exactly,” I whispered and took his hand. “But that doesn't mean that I enjoy it. I didn't torture that woman in my dragon form. It was hard on me.”
“I get that now,” he pulled his hand away so he could put both of his palms around my face. “You're stronger than me, you know that? And I punished you for it. It was unforgivable but still, I'm going to ask for your forgiveness.”
“You were being true to yourself,” I covered his hands with mine. “I can't fault you for being the man I fell in love with. I love that you had compassion for a woman who only tried to hurt you. You really are an angel and you don't need my forgiveness for that.”
“But I was also being a dick,” he grinned.
“Oh, that's right,” I made a face at him. “Thanks for reminding me. For that, I'll accept your apology.”
“And she's magnanimous too,” he rolled his eyes before lowering his mouth to mine.
The delight in having things right with Azrael once more was even sweeter than walking through that hero's parade. I wrapped my arms around his neck and lifted up on my toes to fully dive into the kiss.
“Kissing a guy in a skirt,” Trevor chided. “It's just not right.”
“It's not a skirt,” Azrael muttered against my lips. “And you know what else isn't right?” He glanced up at Trevor. “Ruining a make-up moment.”
“Hey,” Trevor shrugged, “we're all in this together. You need to make up with me too.”
“Vhat? You vant to kiss man in skirt too?” Kirill came up with Odin.
“Why? You wanna try Azrael's skirt on?” He tossed back.
“You know, sometimes I worry about you two,” I shook my head at them as I settled into Azrael's arms.
“You're not the only one,” Odin smirked. “I swear, if I find you two cuddling one day without Vervain, I'm leaving.”
“I'll be right behind you,” I added with a giggle. “I don't share, not even with a man.”
“You're all just jealous of our love,” Trevor slung an arm around Kirill's shoulder but Kirill shrugged him off.
“I zink maybe ve go too far,” Kirill frowned. “I'm feeling awkvard.”
We all laughed, Trevor the hardest.
Chapter Thirty-Nine
I shifted nervously from foot to foot on Kaitlin's doorstep. Thor had already knocked and I could hear someone moving towards us inside. Then the handle turned and the door swung open to reveal a lovely dark-haired woman with lightly tanned skin, kind brown eyes, and a sweet smile. Her smile faded when she saw our serious expressions.
“Thor?” Her voice shook a little. “Is everything alright? Who's this?”
“I'm Vervain Lavine,” I held out my hand to her. “It's nice to meet you.”
“Vervain?” She brightened. “Ull has told me so much about you. It's a pleasure to finally meet you. Please, come in,” she ushered us inside and into a little living room. It was tidy and fresh smelling, with light colored furniture and a circular rag rug on the floor. “Can I get either of you something to drink?”
“No, we're fine,” Thor sighed. “Come and sit down, Kaitlin.”
“Kaitlin,” I leaned toward her after she finally settled in a chair across from mine.
“Please don't say it,” her eyes started to fill with tears.
“Kaitlin, he's gone,” Thor whispered, then swallowed hard and took a deep breath. “I'm so sorry.”
“No,” she shook her head. “No. I'd know if he were gone and I can still feel him. In fact, it almost feels as if he's here right now, that's how strong his presence is.”
I blinked in surprise and shared a look with Thor. She was a sensitive. Either that or their love was something really special. Ull said she knew about his world, well we were about to see just how much.
“Because he is here,” I took a steadying breath as she set her eyes on me. “He was killed helping to rescue our friends but I was able to follow him into the Void and offer him a choice. He could return in a new body or be reborn. He chose to be reborn and he wanted me to tell you that you were right. Death is necessary and it was time for him to begin again.”
“Reborn,” she frowned. “But you said he was here.” No questions about the Void, which meant she did know a lot about us. That was a relief.
“He is here,” I laid my hand on my belly and her eyes went round. “He'll be reborn through me.”
“Oh, Ull,” she crumpled forward onto the floor and laid her hands to my stomach. “What have you done?”
“He wanted me to tell you that he'll carry his love for you into his next life. He believes its strong enough to overcome the loss of his memories.”
“What does that mean?” She looked up at me with lost eyes.
“I think it means that he wants you to wait for him,” Thor interjected.
“I can't wait for a baby to grow up,” she sat back, aghast. “Then what? I marry a teenager when I'm forty? I don't think so.”
“There may be another way,” I pulled a golden apple of immortality out of my purse.
“No,” she pulled herself back up into her chair. “I told Ull I'd never do that. How dare he ask that of me after he chose to be reborn? It's cruel to ask this of me.”
“Did Ull tell you that the immortality only lasts a hundred years?” I asked as I watched her carefully.
“What?” Her face went slack.
“You wouldn't have to remain immortal forever,” I continued. “In fact, you wouldn't really be immortal but rather long-lived. You can still die, it's just that you wouldn't age for awhile.”
“It would keep you as you are until Ull can catch up,” Thor offered. “And I would help you into this life. I'll give you a home, guide you through any issues that come up here in your old life, and help you prepare to meet Ull again. You wouldn't have to do this alone.”
“Why?” She asked Thor. “Why would you do that for me?”
“Because my son loves you and I want him to be happy in his new life,” Thor leaned forward and took her hand. “He may not have memories of you but I believe his heart will remember you. I've seen it happen before,” he shot a glance at me and I swallowed past the sudden lump in my throat. “It's a risk but I think Ull is worth it, don't you?” He took the apple from me and handed it to Kaitlin.
She held the shiny fruit in her lap and stroked the metallic skin. Her eyes fell on my stomach and then she took a deep breath. With a quick movement, she brought the apple to her lips and took a bite.
Chapter Forty
Just as I'd told Kaitlin, gods are not truly immortal. Neither are the fey for that matter. All of us can be killed and the situations the Squad and I find ourselves in ups the chances of that happening. We've all come close to dying but on the whole, we've been very lucky. That luck tends to make you feel invincible and my dragon had been adding to that feeling of invincibility lately. So Ull's death was like a smack in the face.
It left all of us lost and reeling. Ull had been like family to all of us, not just Thor and Odin, and even though we knew he'd soon be reborn and actually become my blood family, we also knew that he wouldn't be the same Ull. So we needed to both mourn and celebrate the life he had shared with us.
The funeral was held in Asgard, upon its lake to be exact. As a Viking god, Ull warranted a Viking funeral and an extravagant dragon ship was created to carry his body out to sea. Before we sent his old
shell on its way, we gathered on board the ship to pay our respects to all that Ull had been.
Normally the corpse would be surrounded by belongings, all of the items the man had loved while he was alive, but this situation was a little different. Thor had wanted to keep all of Ull's things so that he'd have them again in his new life. I had tried to explain to Thor that Ull wanted to start over and the only thing he wanted to bring into his new life from his old was his love for Kaitlin but Thor was adamant. He'd gone to Ull's home in Asgard and covered it with a spell of preservation. He said when Ull was ready to know his past life, he'd have it to show to him.
So there was nothing around the corpse but a mass of flowers. He was dressed in his favorite pair of jeans and a T-shirt which read: I AM the Unbreakable Vow. It made me smile to see it. Ull was a god of justice and all oaths made under his magic were unbreakable. I'd never made the connection to the Harry Potter spell but evidently Ull had found it hilarious. That Thor had dressed him like this, instead of in the finery that was required of a funeral, showed just how important it was to all of us that Ull be honored for who he truly was.
Kaitlin was standing beside Thor, tears streaming down her face, and I admit that a small part of me was angry at Ull for making her go through this. I understood his choice, I even celebrated the fact that he would soon become my child, but if he loved her so much, why hadn't he just let me bring him back into a new body?
I watched her walk forward and kiss him on the cheek gently. She wiped her tears away and then cast a look at my belly again. She'd been doing that constantly and I suddenly understood why Ull had decided to be reborn. He knew that she'd respect this choice more than him taking the easy route of returning with all of his memories. He wanted to become a better man for her by erasing his past mistakes and starting fresh. If that isn't proof of love, I don't know what is.