Accidentally in Love With...a God?

by Mimi Jean Pamfiloff

  He waved his hand lazily through the air. Was he bored by all this? Sure, he was. “Go on.”

  “First, you tell me everything you know about my grandmother. Second, Tommaso has to come with us, and you let him pick his assignment after.”

  Guy’s eyes twitched the moment the word ‘Tommaso’ left my lips. “That’s three.”

  “Yeah, I guess it is, but those are my three conditions. Take it or leave it,” I said, as if I were in a position to negotiate. Ha. Finally, unquestionable proof. I really was insane.

  “Agreed,” he said as if utterly uninterested by the whole situation.

  What was with this man?

  He walked over to the bed and lay down, lacing his fingers behind his head before shutting his eyes.

  “What are you doing?” I asked.

  He cracked open one shimmering turquoise eye, then snapped it shut. “Now that you’ve released me, I thought I might enjoy the serenity and relax.”

  “You’re supposed to tell me everything you know about my grandmother.”

  “I agreed to tell you, but you didn’t specify when. So, I’m going to sleep. We’ll talk in the morning.”

  Damn that man! Damn him to hell. When would I learn? “You can’t sleep there,” I said.

  “You don’t need me, remember?” he said drowsily. “And, these are my quarters. But just to prove how gracious of a god I can be, you can have the couch,” he mumbled.

  “I’d rather sleep in the dirt than be in the same room with you.”

  He pulled the covers over his shoulders. “Fine by me, little girl. Just stay on the compound since I’m sure the Scabs have people waiting outside hoping for the opportunity to snap you up.”

  “Maybe I’ll go see where Tommaso is sleeping.”

  “He’s already gone.” He rolled over and gave me his back.

  “Where?”

  He yawned. “I saw you talking to him at dinner and knew you’d insist he go to Mexico with us. So, I sent him on ahead to start scouting.”

  Sneaky jerk. Tommaso hadn’t been sent to Siberia.

  “What are you doing, Guy? One minute you’re ready to tear off my clothes and the next you’re—”

  “Emma, you’ve made yourself clear. Take glory in your success. You have no need for me, nor desire me in your life. I concede. And now if you’ll let me get some rest, I’ve been seventy years without sleeping in a bed.” He turned off the lamp.

  ***

  It was almost midnight, but I figured it was worth taking a chance. I knocked quietly on the door and waited, listening for some movement inside.

  The door cracked open. “Emma! What a pleasant surprise. A late one, but…come in.”

  Xavier wore a navy blue jogging suit. I guessed those were his pajamas. “Yeah. I hope you don’t mind, but I asked the guards at the gate where to find you. It took me a while; this compound is gigantic.”

  He smiled warmly. “I get lost all the time. Just wait until you see what we have underground—oh.” He placed his hands over his mouth. “I’m not supposed to talk about that. It’s such a bad habit of mine, saying things I shouldn’t.”

  I'd definitely come to the right place.

  Xavier offered me green tea, and we sat down at his kitchen table. The small cottage had a charming feel despite the piles of books in every corner and the dried-out plant hanging from the ceiling near the soot-coated chimney. In fact, every building I’d seen on the compound had some kind of rustic charm. Everything in Uchben Land—my new name for this crazy place—was remarkably beautiful. Stone walkways, fountains, blossoming gardens with marble statues, and perfectly preserved stone buildings; these people had to have significant means to maintain everything so immaculately.

  “So, what brings you to my doorstep so late at night?” he asked.

  I shrugged. “I didn’t really know where else to go. Guy and I don’t exactly get along sometimes, maybe never again.”

  “Ah, yes. He’s got a temper, that one, and can be quite arrogant. But they’re all that way.”

  “So you know them—the other gods?” I sipped my tea.

  “No. Heavens, I’ve just read about them. I’m only sixty-eight and the gods have been…indisposed, as you’re aware. But soon, I hope to have the honor. Nothing would satisfy this old man more.”

  “You’re not that old,” I pointed out. “Sixty-eight is the new forty-eight.”

  He chuckled. “Well, my only regret is that I won’t meet Yum Cimil; they’ll be sure she’s locked up when they find her. And from my research, she’s the most fascinating. Did you know the Mayans believed her to be a man? I suppose it has something to do with her being the God of the Underworld, but that’s not her at all…”

  I could tell Xavier might easily talk for hours. He was genuinely passionate about the topic—maybe about her? “Xavier? I have to ask you something. If you don’t mind.”

  He rested his cup on the table. “Of course not.”

  “Why do the Maaskab want to kill me? Why did they take my grandmother?” I knew he already heard about her and everything else having to do with my life. There were no secrets in this Uchben society.

  “That is a loaded question. I wish I knew, Emma.”

  “I’ll accept an educated guess,” I pleaded.

  He shuffled his fingertips on the table next to his teacup. “We think they’re trying to remove the gods and anything related from the picture.”

  “Lucky me.”

  “What we cannot fathom is why one of the gods went through so much trouble to make the Payals—the demigods.”

  “I’m sure it wasn’t that much trouble. There must a lot of women willing to spend a night with one of Guy’s brothers.”

  His quirky little laugh filled the small room. “I’m sure they would, but it’s easier said than done.”

  “Why’s that?” I fidgeted with the stone hanging around my neck, sliding it up and down the silver chain.

  “That’s what makes this whole thing so interesting. The gods can’t have relations with humans—at least, not without the human enduring excruciating pain and turning into a vegetable. Even the god experiences some pain, though, I wonder if it’s more frustration than anything; they are immortal, after all. But there’s something about the chemistry of the two species. They’re not compatible. It’s like mixing—”

  “What? He can’t have sex?”

  Oh my god, no pun intended, but the entire time, I’d thought it was normal for the gods to have relationships with humans, to have children. Mythology was full of stories about demigods—half human, half deity. Was it called myth-ology for a reason? But why hadn’t Guy told me Payals were unique? Wait. How was my grandmother created?

  “No. This is not possible for him,” he confirmed in a very matter-of-fact tone. “That’s to say, it was never possible before. And trust me, they’ve tried. The gods are a lusty handful, except with each other, but someone found a way. You’re proof of that. And that means they went through a lot of trouble to figure out how to procreate, including finding women strong enough to bare mixed-blood children. That’s another astonishing miracle.”

  “Yes. A frigging miracle—wait—he . . . I mean they can’t even make out?”

  Xavier gave me a disapproving glace.

  “Oh. Sorry,” I said.

  He continued, “This is one of the reasons I wanted to speak to you. I thought you’d consider letting us study you. Maybe we can figure out how it was done. Just a few blood samples and perhaps a body scan. Nothing painful. We can save the dissection for later.” He laughed.

  “Sure,” I answered absentmindedly.

  My frontal lobe churned, frantically processing the facts. Oh! Cue giant neon flashing ah-ha. Send information to temporal lobe. Add emotions. That manipulative, conniving bastard! That low-life, scummy…His little erotic play was all a show. A mind game. Then when he saw it wasn’t working, he’d changed tactics. “Sure, you can go, Emma,” he’d said. But he was working me! Damn that man
or deity, crap—whatever.

  And, he hadn’t rejected me yesterday. That scorching sensation had been him overloading my circuits. Why didn’t he just tell me instead of letting me suffer? Oh. Oh. Oh. Hell hath no fury like a Payal scorned.

  “Sure,” I answered absentmindedly.

  “Excellent,” Xavier said. “We can run the tests first thing in the morning at our clinic.”

  “You said there were others like me?” I asked. I knew about my grandmother, but I wondered if there were more.

  “You’re the first we’ve actually seen. But yes, from what we can piece together, there are others, or there were others. One of the gods—again, we don’t know who—started procreating about eighty years ago. But the offspring could all be dead by now if the priests have been hunting them.

  “How sad.” Those words made me realize I was luckier than I knew to be alive. “Do you think I should go back to Mexico and help him free the other gods?”

  “He’s taking every precaution to keep you safe. And we’ve been working around the clock, searching our libraries, databases, everything we can to understand how the Maaskab are creating their powers. Mr. Santiago is also sending hundreds of our fiercest Uchben with you, and dozens more ahead to scout the area beforehand.”

  “That’s good to know. And after, what am I going to do?”

  “Don’t worry,” he reached across the table and patted my hand. “Once the gods are free, they’ll find a way to fix this mess. And until then, your bond with him will keep you safe. He won’t abandon you.”

  “Not any more. I released him,” I admitted.

  “You broke the bond? Why would you do such a thing?”

  Yeah, and it wasn’t painless like Tommaso said. In fact, I felt sick. Hollow and sick. Tired, too. I could barely keep my eyes open. “I needed to be free. He was just using me, controlling me.”

  There was a long silent pause. Silence? The voices were quiet. Had removing the bond done that, too? I listened for a few moments just to be absolutely certain.

  Yes! Silence. Sweet, blessed silence in my brain! No more buzzing. Maybe breaking the bond wasn’t such a bad idea after all?

  “I’ve studied the gods for twenty years, Emma. I’ve read every myth, archive, and every history book. Without a doubt, they are the most conceited, perplexing, and difficult beings on the planet. But Votan always does what’s right. He genuinely cares about this world, and that includes you. Even if it means making choices you may not agree with or understand.”

  “Of course, you’d say that, you’re an Uchben,” I said.

  “Dear, I would never lie or betray my own faith, especially to make the gods look good in your eyes.”

  “Sorry, I shouldn’t have said that.” I sipped down the last of my tea.

  He said, “Did Votan—sorry, Guy—ever tell you he agreed to stay in his role for eternity just so he could create and build the Uchben society? It was his brainchild, you know.”

  “No. But there’s a lot he hasn’t told me. In fact, he tells me nothing.”

  Xavier left the table and went to the kitchen, returning with the warm kettle to refill our cups. “It was the only way the other gods would agree to partner with humans; no one wanted to inherit his responsibilities and a rotation of duties was due—they used to change every few thousand years. This was an important turning point in history. Votan was the only god who believed humans could be trusted to drive their own destiny. He believes the gods were created to help humans evolve, and that humans weren’t simply put on this planet to be controlled like children.”

  “Little by little, the others have come around to his side, but it took a great sacrifice on his part. He will forever have to be the God of Death and War. ”

  I suddenly felt sorry for Guy. When he’d screamed that he’d given up everything, I’d thought Guy was being dramatic. But he really had. Nonetheless, that didn’t excuse his little power play.

  “So, you trust him?” I asked Xavier.

  He nodded. “I trust he has the best of intentions in his heart. He’s also much older now and has had more time to make mistakes, therefore wiser. But that doesn’t mean he’s perfect if that’s what you’re asking.”

  Xavier was right about that. Guy wasn’t perfect—on the inside, anyway. And why would he trust the entire human race, but not me? Why wasn’t I worthy of driving my own destiny. “Thank you, Xavier. I really appreciate you taking time to talk to me.”

  “Any time, dear girl.” He smiled.

  “Can I ask one more thing?”

  “Absolutely.” He nodded. “Anything.”

  “Can I sleep on your couch?”

  Chapter THIRTY

  Oddly enough, I slept pretty well, even if it was a lumpy old couch and not the extra-long king-size bed that felt like twenty clouds stacked one on top of another, which was currently occupied by the man—deity—responsible for causing some of the most painfully frustrating moments in my life. That list of moments was growing longer with each passing day and now included being falsely coerced into hormonal overload.

  I looked at my watch. It was five in the morning and dark outside, but the sleep had done wonders, and I had unfinished business to settle. No matter what it took, I was going to make that man—deity—come clean.

  I slipped on my heels and crept out the door, finding two large men in dark-gray military garb standing at attention just outside. I shook my head and laughed. “Sure. He says I'm on my own now. Frigging con artist,” I said aloud and marched toward Guy’s quarters, the two men following closely behind.

  When I arrived, I cracked open the door and peeked in. He was still right where I’d left him: tucked cozily into his bed, bare back to me. Uh-huh. Let’s give you a nice wake-up call. Emma style.

  I ran my hand over the side of my head. I still had on last night’s makeup and my hair was a mess. My teeth also needed a good brushing. I grabbed some clean clothes and crept into the bathroom, carefully going over my words in my head.

  After a quick shower, I dried my hair, threw on a t-shirt and sweats, and then took a deep breath. “Payback is such a Payal. Let’s see how you like playing by your own rules.”

  I opened the door, the soft glow of early morning sunlight dusting the room, and tip-toed to the bed. I quietly slid under the soft white sheets, and snuggled against his bare back. He was wearing some kind of silky boxers. Yum.

  I slinked one arm around that tight, firm waist, making sure to teasingly rake my bra-less breasts between his shoulder blades. There was a small jolt of energy, but now it wasn’t so intense. Maybe because I was anticipating it, craving it.

  Guy’s breathing was even, and he remained perfectly still. I reached around and began skimming my hand over his washboard stomach, stifling my urge to snicker. I felt incredibly naughty, which felt incredibly good; but gods, he so deserved this. How dare he sexually bully me and manipulate me with his blatant, misogynistic, strong-arm tactics when he was totally incapable of ever being with a human woman. Jerk. “Oh, Guy,” I feigned like a saloon harlot. “I’m so sorry for everything. Yes, I need you. I want you.” I shamelessly rubbed myself against his firm ass, letting out a tiny, low moan. “I’m sorry I ever doubted you.”

  Surprisingly, Guy didn’t move. Was the man dead or simply in shock? Or, perhaps, scared as hell because he’d have to fess up that his little man-show was a sham? All these years he’d taunted me, flashing his tail feathers. “Look at me! I’m such a big man, and you’re nothing but a little girl.” But he wasn’t able to touch a woman without hurting her or enduring excruciating pain himself. And that meant he was still…a virgin? I gasped. Of course he would be. And he’d be a hundred times more frustrated than little ol’ me; he was much older.

  Let’s find out how frustrated. Shall we, Mr. Stud-tastic? Still spooning, I swept my fingertips, light as a feather, across his naked, smooth shoulder and planted soft, teasing kisses over his shoulder blade. I ran my hand slowly down until I reached his waistband. Still no
reaction? Still pretending to sleep, my friend? Okay then…

  I slid my fingers between the silky waistband of his boxers and his bare hip. Just an inch. Then another and another, until my entire hand was inside the intimate domain of his underwear, gliding up and down over his bare skin—hip, ass, upper thigh. Reverse. Upper thigh, ass, hip. Yum.

  I found myself enjoying my little skin-safari way more than I should, but knowing it couldn’t go anywhere gave me a certain sense of reckless liberty. “Guy?” I whispered. “I want you to make every one of my fantasies come true. You were right about everything. I want to take you inside me. And”—I squinted my eyes, holding back my laughter—“ride me for hours.”

  Unable to resist, I began massaging his firm backside. It was perfect. Velvety soft skin over solid muscle. And his smell was…amazing. I inhaled deeply letting the complex, masculine scent fill my lungs. Okay. Maybe time to stop.

  Just as I was about to say something, Guy rolled on top of me, pinning beneath him, with a hungry, heated look on his face. “What are you doing, Emma?” he snarled, his turquoise eyes boring into me.

  “What does it look like?” I growled back, barely able to breath with the weight of him on top...on top…sooo on top of me. “Blowing your little charade right out of the water,” I managed to finish.

  “What are you talking about?”

  I took a deep breath to gather my thoughts. “Us. That’s what. You know what kills me most? It’s not that you’re not man enough to actually do any of those things you advertised—because you’re not a man—or how you made me feel about my lack of experience, but that you’re not tough enough to tell me the truth. You’re a coward and a bully.”

  “I am not—”

  “Oh, come on! For once, come clean, Guy. Stop pretending and say the truth. You have weaknesses like the rest of us.”

  “You’re right. About everything. I have weaknesses.” Then he bent his head and pressed his full, angry lips firmly against mine.