by Annie Berdel
Tentatively, Emma walked over and gently pulled the afghan that her Aunt had crocheted from the back of the sofa. Catching a glimpse of her Uncle, she guessed he had been gone for a couple weeks now, his face sunken and ashen in pallor. The small bottles and used needles on the table next to him told Emma that his diabetes was probably the culprit.
Grasping the edge of the sofa, Emma felt a need to say something over her family before she left. Taking the afghan with her, she walked to the small divide between where her aunt was sitting and the couch. Collecting herself, she hugged the blanket as she searched for the words as if hidden within the folds of the yarn.
The pressure on her knee startled her as her eyes flew open. Looking quickly down she saw her aunts hand now outstretched. Jumping back, Emma screamed.
The hand bounced up once as if pulled by a string and then fell back to its resting place.
Emma blinked. Did that really happen? Maybe she hit it with her leg as she was walking by?
Ya, that had to be it, she said, trying to convince herself.
Gathering her wits about her, Emma waited until her legs didn’t feel like jelly. Slowly, she approached the chair her aunt was sitting in.
“Aunt Amy?” she squeaked out
The old, withered hand moved as the woman flexed her fingers in response to Emma’s voice.
“Sweet Moses!” Emma exclaimed under her breath as she flew around the chair. Kneeling before her aunt, Emma cupped the woman’s tepid cheek in her hand. “Aunt Amy? Can you hear me?”
The woman’s eyelashes fluttered. “It’s me! It’s Emma!”
Emma gently grabbed the woman’s outstretched hand and brought it to Amy’s lap. Turning it gently over, Emma felt for a pulse.
“Honey, its Emma” she said as tears spilled down her cheeks.
With all the strength the woman had left, Amy opened her eyes and looked at her brother’s daughter. Years of memories flooded behind the glazed look of Emma’s aunt. “Emma.” The woman whispered.
“Yes! It’s me, I’m here!” Emma sobbed. “I need to get your out of here!”
The woman grabbed onto Emma’s hand as if to try and stop her. “What?” Emma asked, confused.
Lifting her lashes, Amy looked into Emma’s eyes, quietly pleading. “Leave me.” She stuttered
Dismayed, Emma shook her head. “I just can’t leave you here!”
Amy didn’t blink but held onto Emma gaze with the force of heaven behind her. “Please.” She whispered. Emma stood as the realization of what her aunt was asking her to do hit her. She wanted to die. She was done with this life. She had stayed with her husband and now, now she wanted to join him here in this house that they had built together.
Emma could feel the emotions ripping at her as she looked around the room. Their Christmas tree always stood before the big picture window with plenty of presents each year for everyone. The dining room table, peeking out from around the corner where the family would gather at Thanksgiving to enjoy the homemade noodles that her aunt had taught Emma to make. That big, damn, ugly sofa that now cushioned her uncles decaying body.
OH God, please no, Emma silently begged to the highest of heavens.
This was her aunt’s home. Her husband was here. Was it crueler to make her leave? Her time was short, obviously. Should she leave her here to pass with her husband surrounded by the warmth of her own home? Emma knew the answer, but it didn’t make it any easier.
Walking over, Emma picked up one of the discarded needles laying on the table beside her uncle. Fumbling through the opened bottles, Emma tried to fill the needle with as much insulin as she could. Nothing. Tossing it aside, she walked back into the kitchen. Opening the back closet door, Emma remembered her aunt keeping their dog’s supplies in here. Blue was a Chow and had been in the family forever. In his later years though, Emma remembered her aunt having to give him insulin shots. Looking for one of the larger syringes, Emma knew what she had to do. She had one shot at this and didn’t want to screw it up. Walking back to her aunt, Emma picked up the discarded blanket and tucked it carefully around the woman she loved deeply. Kneeling before her, Emma took both of her hands into hers and prayed out loud. Squeezing her aunt’s hands tenderly, Emma watched as the woman’s eyelashes parted for the last time. “I love you so very much” Emma said as the tears flowed freely down her face. A hint of a smile lit across the frail woman’s face.
Emma picked up the needle and found a vein in the back of the woman’s hand. Inserting the sharp tip, the woman didn’t even flinch. Once all the air was dispersed, Emma tucked the afghan over her aunt with her hands resting beneath in her lap and she waited. Sneaking her own hand beneath the blanket, Emma held on as the woman past over. Sitting there sobbing, Emma’s heart screamed out in anguish over both of her family members along with all the stress that had been building within her over the last few weeks.
As the waves of emotions subsided, Emma wiped her face and stood. Could she just leave them like this, to rot here in this home waiting for someone else to find them? These were their belongings, things that her aunt and uncle worked their entire lives to have. Just things now, for someone else to discover, to loot.
Walking out of the house, Emma found what she needed. Once she was done, she stood before the farmhouse and said once last prayer as she flicked the match.
56
Even in a down grid, it didn’t long for news to get around. People where both just naturally nosey and gossips at heart. Not only were they talking about Emma becoming a deputy but also about Doc Scott’s house catching fire. With no working tankers the fire had to just burn itself out. Emma happened to be leaving her Aunt Amy’s house when the news came in. Going straight to Ben’s office to see if he had gotten word on what had happened, she was surprised to see him just sitting at his desk, feet on his desk with his boots kicked off relaxing.
“What happened out there?” Emma asked, mortified. Jane was staying out there since Scott was gone and Emma couldn’t get any information on if she got out okay. All Emma knew was that Jane had not shown up at her farm.
“No idea.”
“You haven’t gone out there yet to investigate?”
“No Emma, no I haven’t. Could you pipe it down a bit, I have a massive headache.”
“When are you even planning on going out there? We could have a real issue going on here. With all the other break-ins, who’s to say this wasn’t intentionally set?” Emma asked so many questions so fast that Ben thought for an instant his head might explode.
“I’m not going. I have other things I need to do here in town. Hell, I don’t even think Scott is in the state. My time would be wasted out there. It’s gone. I can’t bring it back.”
“What?” Emma stared at Ben in disbelief
“People need to know what’s going on around here, Ben, and they need to know that the person that they elected into a position that was sworn to protect them is actually doing his job and not hiding behind his desk!” Emma continued
Tossing an empty file folder across the desk at her, Ben groaned as he swore he felt his brain shift in his skull. “Deputy, go fill this out during your investigation.”
“What?”
“Emma, get the hell out of here and go do your job. NOW!” he screamed
Emma looked at the pathetic excuse for a sheriff she had ever seen. Reaching down, she not only snatched the file off of his desk but grabbed the keys to his jeep and yelling “Yes sir!” walked out. She would get to the bottom of this.
57
“Mom! What’s wrong? I’ve been standing here for ten minutes talking to you with no response. Are you even on this planet?” Lauren said walking around to face her mother.
“I’m so sorry, my love. I’ve got a lot on my mind with this whole deputy role that’s been shoved in my face and a couple other things.” Emma replied. She had no intention of telling her about what was going on with Tom. If anything, her new job title could be used as a distraction.
&n
bsp; “You know you don’t need to accept that package, right?” Lauren asked
“Package?” Emma asked a bit confused
Lauren gave a bit of a giggle “Wow, you are out of it! MOM! You don’t have to accept anything anyone dumps on you, unless you want to. You taught me that a long time ago when I was getting buried at work! It also includes emotions that someone is trying to deflect onto you to bring you down. Sounds like you have a bit of both going on with this. Don’t accept this balled up piece of crap that the Sherriff is trying to dump on you because he doesn’t want to do his job. Return the package of crap and move on.”
Emma reached out and touched her daughter’s cheek. “Oh wise one, sounds like you had a great teacher. Beautiful and brilliant, you are a lethal combination.”
“Funny, mom. But no, this is obviously bothering you. What would a Prepper Chick do?”
“Huh?”
“It’s kind of like what would Jesus do, but since we are in a down-grid situation, I thought it would be more fitting.” Emma laughed
“Did I raise you?” Emma asked with a giggle
“Seriously, mom think about it. Play out the Conflicted scenario like in your card game.
It’s a down grid situation. You have been offered a position within what’s left of the local law enforcement to help resume law and order. Do you accept the position? Why or why not?
“I see what you did there. Ok. Well, let’s work through all the pros and cons.” Emma replied
“Ok, pro is that it gives you connections and an inside view of what is going on out there. Even though we don’t live in town, they still affect us out here.” Lauren started
“Yes, agree. I wish there was a way to get information out to the masses though. Some have no idea what is going on and no idea on what to do to make their lives better.”
“Well, could the new position help with that?”
“I don’t know. I couldn’t possibly go around and talk to every single person individually. I mean, I could but it would take forever.” Emma shot back
Emma was silently watching the wheels spinning in her daughter’s head. Come on Lauren, you can get this. You know what needs to happen. Step up.
“What about a newsletter that can be distributed?”
YES! Emma felt the first wave of excitement wash over her.
“Well, yes. Like the newspaper?”
“Ya but not as large. We don’t need the sports section anymore but the comics could come in handy” Lauren chimed
“I love it!” Emma shot back
“Let me work on a few things.” Lauren replied “But it looks like we both might have new careers?”
“Yes, yes it does” Emma said with a smile creeping across her face. “I need to head over to Scott’s to see what happened and see if I can find out where Jane is at. You want to ride along?”
“Ride?” Lauren asked
“Well, I kinda borrowed the Sherriff’s jeep.” Emma replied with a sly grin
“I could investigate and find fodder for my newsletter!”
“Your newsletter?” Emma asked already knowing the answer
“Yes mom. We have a lot to do to save this town. You have the knowledge that I don’t have to save these people but I know how to get it out there. Let’s be a team!”
“Oh honey, we have always been a team. But right now, people need us.”
“I get it now.” Lauren said with a whisper
“Get what, luv?” Emma asked, genuinely confused.
“All these years, what you do. How we had to share you with others. How that ate away at you and made you feel inadequate as a parent. How you were trying to save the world but felt like you lost your family in the process.” Lauren said bluntly looking into her mother’s eyes
“Ya. That’s pretty much it in a nutshell.” Tears forming in Emma’s eyes. “Forgive me”
“A million times over. Forgive me for being so selfish when you were born for the universe.” Lauren said as she wiped a tear from her mother’s cheek
“Universe or not, I will always be your mom and I had a duty there to raise you to the best of my abilities. Right now, hearing you, sounds like I did an amazing job. I love you Lauren.”
“I really know that. I know you love me. I’ve never doubted that.” Lauren said as she hooked her arm through Emma’s and steered her towards the door. “But right now, this dynamic duo has a job to do. Off to save the world!” she said as she thrust her fist into the air and giggled into her mom’s shoulder. “We need to get capes. Maybe tights too…”
“Now Lauren!”
“Ok mom, just capes.”
58
Emma and Lauren drove the Sherriff’s jeep over to Doc Scott’s veterinary farm. While it wasn’t far with the jeep, Emma thought about the tunnels that run between her farm and what was the now remains of a once thriving local business. Doctor Scott Smalley was a much loved member of the local community, a much needed resource, one that is sorely missed now that he was off in Tennessee with Angie.
Emma hadn’t thought about them for a while. She needed to get word to them about what had happened. With all the commotion going on recently, she hadn’t thought about communication since most of the commotion was going on at her farm and she didn’t want to let her hand be seen. OPSEC was an important part of a prepper’s life. One aspect that could tilt that hand between life and death. That being said, she knew she needed to get word to Scott but she would wait until she was done looking at things out here.
Taking the bend in the road a little too fast, Lauren gave a squeal as they came up into view of the homestead. Smoke was still whipping up from what used to be the house. Glancing around, the outhouses and barn all seemed to be fine, just the house destroyed. Columns of Sandstone peaked from beneath the rubble where it once held the wood structure.
Parking the jeep a distance away, Emma motioned to Lauren to lay low for a bit. They exited the jeep and made their way over to an area that would afford them a bit of line of site protection but allow Emma a chance to glance around a bit before they approached.
“What do you think happened?” Lauren asked her mother
“Not sure yet, but I’m wondering where Jane is at?” Emma responded
Taking her pack, Emma tossed in into a shallow ditch and motioned for Lauren to follow. Giving her mom a sideways glance, Lauren reluctantly climbed down and laid prone in the trench. Emma squatted on her haunches beside her daughter and flipped open a side pouch on her Expedition bag, removing a pair of binoculars. Resting her forearms on the edge of the recess, Emma slowly observed the area before her from one side to the other looking for movement of any kind.
Motioning to Lauren, Emma followed her out of the recess and they made their way, quietly skirting the edge of the property towards the barn. Pausing occasionally, Emma showed Lauren how to check for tracks and most importantly, to just listen and look for something abnormal.
Lauren spotted it first, laying along the drive. A piece of clothing discarded? Something that had blown from the house? Emma made a mental note to check it out when they were done but had the vaguest recollection of familiarity in the color.
59
Megan gave the child a bounce on her knee like her granddaddy did to her when she was little. She had heard that it worked to distract the child from whatever was ailing him. This wasn’t working though. She had bathed him and changed him into a new diaper and put him in a onesie. She had feed him earlier so she really didn’t think he was all that hungry. Tired, maybe. No one seemed to be sleeping right anymore since the blow-up. She knew for certain, she hadn’t. Maybe he was feeling her? Feeling her raw nerves not only about having to leave her home but also about not dealing well with her husband’s death and all this responsibility now dumped into her lap.
Bastard took the easy way out, she thought to herself
Flashing back, the hurt was starting to turn to anger as she thought about her husband. She could seem him in her mind, driving th
e coast of California with a cute little blond in the car with him, toying playfully with each other, giddy with excitement about where the road ahead was taking them.
Irritated from her own imagination, Megan snatched the baby off of her knee and stood up. Walking over, she tossed him onto the bed with a short little thud.
Well that got your attention, she said out loud
Robbie lay there staring up at his mom. His long eyelashes standing at attention against the rim of his widened eye, the curiosity of their now turned adventure apparent on his face.
Is this what he needed? Megan thought. All she had really been doing is focusing on his survival, which had now become a full time job for herself and the kids. Emma made it easier since they had all been at her farm, but Megan also knew she didn’t want to become dependent once again on someone and then that person get ripped away from her also. Laying down on the bed beside little Robbie, Megan placed her hand on his belly and gave a brisk rub with enough pressure it moved his entire body back and forth a bit. His small fist curled up as he inserted it into his mouth, cooing at his mother as bits of slobber started to seep from around his hand.
Megan smiled at her child as waves of apprehension enveloped her. Could she get her kids through the days, the weeks ahead? Hell, it could be years before everything returned to normal. And then what? She had left her home behind. She would have to start all over again rebuilding their lives. She had no furniture, no transportation and barely any money, not that it mattered right now. She had stashed some bills but most of her cash was locked in someone’s computer and she had no way to access it and no way to spend it for things they needed as everyone else was in the same predicament. The days of walking into a store and swiping your ATM card were long over as far as she could tell. Listening to the little bit of chatter that the other house guests had inadvertently let slip, she doubted they had any hope either of things getting back to normal.