by Lori Wick
“I’m going to be gathering the last of my things tonight, Edward,” Thomas said as soon as they exited the church building.
“All right. Shall I meet you at your house then?”
“Tuesday morning. I’ll expect you at 8:00.”
“I’ll be there.”
Lizzy stood quietly, as did her sister Cassandra. Henry had gone ahead to the coach to find some papers he’d promised Pastor Greville. For a moment it didn’t look as though Morland would even remember to glance their way, but just before he turned away, his eyes found Lizzy’s.
“Well, Lizzy and Cassie, I won’t be seeing you again for a time, so I guess this is goodbye.”
“Have a good trip, Morland,” Cassandra bade him. “Take good care of yourself and our Edward.”
“I shall. Goodbye.”
“Goodbye,” Lizzy put in as he turned, but he’d broken eye contact by then.
Lizzy wondered all the way home if her face showed how frozen her heart felt. It had all been so fast, and with no word on when they would see him again. She glanced at Edward, but clearly he was preoccupied with his own traveling plans. Cassandra was gazing out the window, so for the moment Lizzy felt free to let her eyes slide shut.
“Are you all right?”
Lizzy was stunned to hear her brother Henry quietly asking this. So stunned in fact, that for a moment she didn’t answer.
“Yes, Henry. Thank you.”
Henry’s eyes remained on her for a few moments before shifting to the window. Lizzy’s own gaze shifted as well. All she could wish for was her older sister, but Charlotte was visiting with her fiancé’s family and would not be home for several more days.
Lizzy surfaced from the memory with a start, sitting upright in her seat. The scene was so painful in her mind that for a moment her breathing was labored.
“Do you need something, ma’am?”
Lizzy’s personal maid had come to the room and found her mistress so pale that she interrupted her.
“No, Kitty, thank you,” Lizzy said quietly, managing a smile. But the occurrence caused Lizzy to head for the mirror. After a brief look, she concluded that she looked awful and decided not to sit about and baby herself any longer. Calling for a basket and her small hand-clippers, she headed for the garden. Flowers were not her favorite pastime, but anything had to be better than sitting around and feeling sorry for herself.
Collingbourne, England
Pembroke
“Tate?” Harriet called as she knocked, opening the bedroom door just enough to be heard. “May I come in?”
“Yes.”
Tate turned to the sound of his aunt entering as the door opened completely. He’d been standing in front of the open window, taking some air. The blackness was always there, surrounding him in every way. Most of the time he could ignore it, but just then he’d smelled something pleasant through the open window. It might have been a flower, bush, or combination of both, but without going out to investigate, he was left wondering.
“How are you, dear?” his aunt asked, closing the door behind her.
“A bit cross, I must admit.”
“Is there anything I can do?”
“Nothing comes to mind.”
Harriet couldn’t stop the smile that came to her mouth. Even in a poor mood, Alexander Tate was polite. He might be tempted to ask her to leave, but if he was, he was careful to keep such thoughts from showing on his face or in his voice. Certainly one could mask a great deal when eyes could not be seen, but Harriet was looking at her nephew’s face, and there was not so much as a cross wrinkle to his brow or a single stern line to his relaxed mouth.
“You’ve a letter here from Banks,” Harriet said, referring to the man who ran things in Tate’s London home. “Would you like me to read it to you?”
“Not just now. Thank you, Aunt Harriet.”
The smile dropped from Harriet’s face. Tate was doing an admirable job of hiding it, but his spirits were beginning to droop. The inactivity, darkness, and lack of companionship were starting to wear on him.
Harriet was on the verge of telling him her plans for the rest of the day, hoping to distract him, when someone knocked on the door. Harriet went to answer it, relief filling her when Hastings stood in the hallway and informed her that Dr Tilney had stopped by and wished to see Tate.
“Certainly, Hastings,” Harriet told Tate’s right-hand man. “Send him directly up.”
Harriet didn’t know if the doctor would have good news, but his visit alone would be a welcome interruption. The older woman left the men alone during the examination, but Harriet Thorpe wasted no time once Dr Tilney was through. She met him at the front door and walked him to his coach.
“How are his eyes?”
“There’s improvement, but he needs to keep on as he is for several more months. That’s when we’ll know if all this darkness and rest have been worth it or not.”
“Thank you, Dr Tilney.”
“You’re welcome,” he said. He would have turned away, but Harriet wasn’t done.
“I have something I want to ask you.”
The doctor listened as Tate’s aunt discussed an idea with him, one she felt desperate to try.
“I like your plan, Mrs Thorpe,” the doctor said. “But it would have to be just the right person. Someone calm and undemanding. Someone who will know when to leave, a person who can read the signs that are not spoken.”
Harriet nodded, glad that he had agreed.
“You’re right, of course; not just anyone will do. But at least with your permission I can begin to keep my eyes and ears open.”
The kind doctor put a comforting hand on her shoulder.
“Collingbourne is full of fine folk, Mrs Thorpe. No doubt the right person will come to you very soon.”
Harriet thanked him without further comment, but there was plenty on her mind as the doctor’s coach pulled away. I’m sure Collingbourne does have many fine folk, Dr Tilney, but I won’t be looking far and wide. I’ll be concentrating my search within the church family.
“Are you ever like Jonah?” Pastor Hurst asked the congregation in the closing minutes of his sermon on Sunday. “Four chapters in the Book have this prophet’s name on them, and more than two of them are about his disobedience. Do more than half the things said about you concern your disobedience?
“Jonah’s discontent was at a remarkable level. This prophet of God needed to be ashamed of himself in light of how swiftly wicked Nineveh repented. Jonah was given a job and ran. The citizens of Nineveh learned of their doom and fell to their knees in repentance. While we read about Jonah’s repentant heart in the belly of the fish, it didn’t take long for him to pout when God did things he disagreed with. When he was in trouble, he said God was His salvation, but when you look at chapter 4, verse 2, Jonah is disgusted with God for the salvation He offers to Nineveh.”
Pastor Hurst smiled gently at the group gathered before him, his eyes warm.
“We’re so like Jonah, aren’t we? We have in our mind the way we think things should be done, and when they don’t happen that way, we frown toward heaven and pout. But there’s hope, isn’t there? Jonah himself, even though he wasn’t very happy, had to admit that God is a gracious God, merciful, slow to anger, and of great kindness. That’s why there’s hope. Not with us, but in the God who loves us.
“No matter how often we have failed, frowned, or followed our own path in the past, our gracious, kind, merciful, saving God is ready with forgiveness.
“We’ll be talking about Jonah for several more weeks. There is much to be learned here about God’s love and our discontent. If you have a chance, study the book of Jonah on your own. Ask God to teach you things that will change you forever.”
Pastor Hurst then led them in a final prayer and dismissed the congregation.
Lizzy sat for a moment and thought about what she’d heard. She had been discontented since Thomas Morland left with Edward. She now realized what a waste of time that
had been—her time and God’s. It was time to confess her selfishness and agree with God no matter what His plan.
“Lizzy.”
Lizzy looked up to see Mrs Walker calling to her from the end of the pew.
“Come and hug me,” the older woman bade, “and tell me how you are.”
Lizzy did as she was asked, glad for their friendship.
“I’m doing better after that sermon,” Lizzy admitted as the women embraced.
“I’m glad to hear it. Can you and Henry join us for lunch today?”
“That sounds wonderful. I’ll check with him.”
Henry Steele enjoyed James Walker’s company immensely. They might not have contact for months or even years at a time, but whenever they were together, their conversation picked up without faltering. With this in mind, Henry agreed to lunch at Blackburn Manor without hesitation.
Lizzy and Mrs Walker also enjoyed one another’s company, but today there was an added bonus. After going home to check on Tate, Harriet Thorpe arrived for lunch as well.
“Mrs Thorpe,” Lizzy greeted her warmly. “How are you?”
“I’m very well, Elizabeth.” The two had met in January. “How are you?”
“I’m well. I was thinking about your nephew this morning when I saw you come in alone. Has there been any improvement?”
“Not yet. The doctor still wants him to take it very slowly.”
Mrs Walker invited the women into the sitting room to get comfortable; the men were still in the study looking at elaborate plans for a plumbing system, something Mr Walker had picked up at the town market.
“When does Cassandra arrive?” Mrs Walker asked Lizzy as soon as the women were settled.
“This week.”
Lizzy went on to tell her hostess something about a recent letter, but Harriet barely heard her. As on the first occasion they had met, she couldn’t remember the last time she’d spoken with such a beautiful young woman. She couldn’t help but wonder if Tate had ever met her.
“I can’t remember, Elizabeth,” Harriet began when there was a lull. “Where were you moving from when you came to Collingbourne?”
“We have a home outside of Bath. We haven’t lived or visited here for some time, but it’s still like coming home.”
“Tell her about Pembroke, Harriet,” Mrs Walker put in. “It’s such a fun story.”
Harriet smiled. “Pembroke was built in 1755. It has a large ballroom, very ornate, and grounds of more than 600 acres. Twenty years after it was built, an observatory was added. Garden windows sit all along the first floor, and the sweeping view from the rear windows is nothing short of breathtaking.”
Harriet smiled again before adding, “I honeymooned at Pembroke. When Thorpe and I were married, the house belonged to his father. We spent six months here, roaming about and falling deeper in love. When it was time to return to London, I cried. When my father-in-law died and everything came to Thorpe, I cried again, knowing we could visit whenever we wished. We didn’t come nearly as often as I dreamed, but it was lovely knowing it waited here for us.”
“How wonderful,” Lizzy said, her voice betraying a tinge of envy.
“When Tate is feeling more the thing, you’ll have to come to visit.”
“I would enjoy that.”
“Still no visitors?” Mrs Walker questioned her friend.
“No. Tate still needs to take things quite slowly. Dr Tilney and I have thought of something that might work, but it’s a rather delicate matter. If you could pray that I’ll have wisdom in the days and weeks to come, I would much appreciate it.”
Harriet feared she might have said too much. She didn’t wish to be questioned at this time, and she was relieved that the men joined them before the conversation could proceed further. The five acquaintances moved to the dining room to eat, and Harriet was able to keep her plan private.
She surreptitiously watched Lizzy Steele the rest of the afternoon, wondering in her heart if she might be the person Tate needed. Lizzy was certainly lovely enough—not that looks mattered at a time like this. Still, Harriet’s heart was uncertain, so she kept her mouth shut. It’s one of two things, Harriet, old girl, she said to herself. Either the whole idea is an ill-fated one, or Elizabeth Steele is not the person needed at this time.
For a moment, Harriet’s gaze shifted to Henry Steele, only just realizing he’d been rather quiet during the meal. However, she didn’t completely count him out, either. It could be anyone, Lord, anyone at all. If the idea will work, You’ll show me somehow. Help me to be wise and aware.
Almost with a start, she realized she’d done little but think of Tate since arriving. Knowing enough was enough, Harriet settled in to enjoy the rest of lunch and her visit.
Chapter Two
Pembroke
Harriet wasted no time. She had checked on Tate before going to lunch but had then been gone for hours. The mansion was full of servants, and Tate was by no means helpless, but as soon as she arrived home she sought him out in order to check on him.
“How was lunch?” he asked kindly.
“It was lovely. Henry and Elizabeth Steele were there. Have you met Elizabeth, Tate?”
His brow furrowed. “Is she a blonde?”
“No, dark.”
“Then I must have met Charlotte. A remarkably beautiful woman, I might add.”
“As is Elizabeth. It isn’t just her mahogany-colored hair; she also has spectacular green eyes. I couldn’t stop staring at her.”
“Did she notice?” Tate asked with a smile.
“I hope not.” Harried laughed a little.
“How are the Walkers?”
“They are both very well. They asked after you.”
“That was kind of them. Do you have time to go over your sermon notes with me now?”
“I can do better than that. Pastor Hurst has begun writing a summary for you. If I read it to you each week, you’ll be right up to date when you’re up to going on your own. He even reiterated his offer to visit as soon as you would like.”
“I’ll have to dictate a thank-you note to him. Do you have time to read now?” Tate asked again, clearly ready for the day’s sermon.
“Yes. I’ll get the papers directly.”
When Harriet returned, Tate made himself comfortable and concentrated on the words his aunt read. He asked God to heal his eyes. He asked God to help him with patience during the process. Then he thanked God for the fact that even if he never saw again, his ears would let him hear the Word.
Newcomb Park
On Monday morning after breakfast, Lizzy began a letter to Edward. She hadn’t planned to write him so soon, but her heart woke with a lightness that came from peace with God, and she found herself wanting to talk to her younger brother about it.
“Cassandra will be back soon, and I’m very much looking forward to that,” she wrote shortly after greeting him and asking about his health.
Henry is as ever, quiet and to himself, but genuinely kind. I am thankful for his presence. We lunched with Walkers yesterday. Henry very much enjoys Mr Walker. I think they could spend hours alone in the study with maps, plans, and such.
The sermon from the book of Jonah was challenging yesterday morning. I’m too like that stubborn prophet in the way I complain to God. It was a good reminder for me. I was in the midst of confessing my sin when Mrs Walker invited us to join them for lunch. I felt as though I’d been rescued because it helped take my mind from my selfish thoughts. Harriet Thorpe was also there, but her nephew, Tate, is still not well enough to be out.
My thoughts are often with you and Morland. I can only imagine a place as foreign as Africa, so you’ll have to be more descriptive in your letters. How is the food and their tea? Do you eat your meals at the same times we do? And your bed? What are you sleeping in? As you can see, I’m full of wonder about the whole experience, even as I’m very glad to be in England.
Just yesterday I came to great peace about the two of you leaving, but out of cu
riosity, Edward, does Morland ever speak of me or ask after me? I know you won’t say anything to him, and he can’t see my red face from Africa, but I do wonder.
Have you word from Charlotte? I think she and Barrington will be stopping in Collingbourne at some point, but I’m not sure when. I asked her in my last letter, but because they’re on the move, I’m not sure when she’ll receive it.
Lizzy sat back and thought about how life had changed in the last few months. So often these days she was on her own. It had seemed to her that a bit of peace and quiet around Newcomb Park would be lovely, but she missed her siblings terribly—more than she had expected.
Write soon, Edward, and tell me if you are well. You know you are always in my prayers. Don’t forget to send along any unusual maps or charts for Henry. His birthday is coming soon, and you know how pleased he would be. Tell Morland I said hello, and please take care of yourself.
My love to you,
Lizzy
Lizzy addressed the letter and gave it to Kitty for the post. She realized when she was alone once again that her heart still yearned for Morland, but not with the angry ache that had been present for so many days.
I know I will fall again, Lord, but I ask You to help me. I ask for Your strength to go on, to be the woman You would have me be.
Lizzy didn’t ask the Lord to send her a husband in His time. Her heart simply wasn’t ready for that. Everything within her believed that she would never love anyone but Thomas Morland.
Pembroke
Tate’s shin collided in an unforgiving manner with the drawer he’d left out, and for a moment the tall, blind man stood still and winced as pain radiated up and down his leg. He’d done the exact thing a week before on the other leg and wondered when he was going to learn.