by Marla Monroe
When he finally did, Thorne had to prop himself up with one hand against the shower wall. Hell. That had been so good his ass muscles hurt from squeezing them while he came.
I’m already fucking hooked on her, and I’ve only seen her twice now. I’m so screwed if Rollan isn’t interested in her.
After rinsing off and stepping out of the shower to towel himself dry, Thorne pulled on a pair of boxers and flipped off the light as he walked out of the room. By the time he’d set his alarm and crawled into bed, he already had another boner thinking about Sierra. Men just didn’t get hard that fast after having just come hard enough to turn his balls inside out. She did it to him, and he didn’t want to chance losing her. He had a feeling she could be the best thing that had ever happened to him—him and Rollan.
All he had to do now was convince the other man that for love, a man had to make time, or all the ranches in the world wouldn’t be enough to fill the empty spot that would live in his heart and soul if they let the right woman escape them.
* * * *
Sierra forced herself to concentrate on driving despite the cursed envelope sitting on the dashboard mocking her. How had the prick gotten the mailman to deliver it to someone else’s box? She knew it was insane to think that, but considering the chances of that happening normally, she wouldn’t put anything past the bastard. Besides, he was supposed to inform her when he mailed it so she would be on the lookout for it.
The more she thought about it, the angrier she became. It wasn’t until Sedona said something that she realized she was doing seventy down a gravel back road that she finally regained control of herself.
“What’s wrong, Sis? I’ve never seen you like this before.” Sedona’s worried expression reminded her of why she was even considering this in the first place.
“Nothing. I guess I let my mind wander and wasn’t paying attention to my speed. Sorry,” she said, making sure she smiled.
“Bullshit!”
Sierra jerked at her sister’s venomous shout.
“I’ve never, and I mean never seen you this tense and upset. It started with that damn envelope. You looked like you’d seen a ghost when he handed it to you. What’s in it that has you looking like the world is about to end?” Sedona’s voice shook as if her world was crashing along with Sierra’s.
She couldn’t let her sister down. She couldn’t let her family down. She’d always been the rock that kept them steady. Where was her strength now?
“It’s nothing important. I was hoping for something else and seeing the envelope made me realize that something I had hoped for didn’t happen. That’s all. It’s not even all that important. Don’t worry about it.” It was a feeble lie at best, but then she hadn’t had time to prepare for it. The damn papers were supposed to come to their mailbox, and she was the one who always picked up the mail.
“What was it?” Sedona asked.
“I don’t want to talk about it. It was silly,” she said, desperately trying to think of something to satisfy her sister.
“If you wanted it, then it wasn’t silly, Sis. You’ve sacrificed everything for us over the years. Don’t think we don’t know it. You deserve whatever you want.”
“I love you guys. It’s not a sacrifice when you want to do it. Don’t talk like that.” It bothered her that her siblings might think she resented them for keeping the ranch going. It was as much for her as them.
“You gave up your job to take care of Mom. You gave up school to keep us together. You gave up a life for us, Sierra. I know that, and so do the others. I hate that you’re disappointed and upset over something you had wanted and it didn’t happen.” It was obvious that there were tears in her sister’s eyes with the way her voice cracked.
“Sedona, stop it. It’s okay. I don’t want you upset over this. Everything is fine,” she said in a firm voice as they turned down their drive.
Sedona didn’t say anything more as they stopped in front of the house. She got out of the truck as soon as Sierra put it in park. She didn’t know what to do or say to her sister to make things right between them again.
Damn Dexter and his games! I wish I had another way to raise the money to pay the loan off. I’d do just about anything if it meant never having to touch him or even see him again.
Sierra opened her door and jumped down from the truck. She grabbed the envelope and slammed the door. When she walked into the house, she knew her sister had gone out to the barn by how quiet and still it felt. Everywhere Sedona went, a sort of energy crackled and blew around anyone near her. The absence of it always left her feeling bereft and lonely. She was going to truly be alone when she moved out to go to college.
It tore her up inside that Buddy seemed to have divorced himself from her. She would have said from the family, but she knew he talked regularly to Bethany and Sedona. She didn’t understand why he was so angry and bitter toward her. She’d obviously done something to him that he refused to talk about. She longed for the early days when it had been them surviving together, barely getting by, but happy—truly happy.
The envelope in her hand seemed to burn her as she slowly walked toward the office. She threw it down on the desk and closed the door for privacy. Then she sat down and opened it up to see what he’d had drawn up. She’d have to get a lawyer to look it over for her, but she couldn’t think who she could trust to not only give her an honest opinion but also keep it private. No matter what anyone said, nothing was private in any small community.
As she read over the contract and the sickening conditions, Sierra had to stop twice to swallow and close her eyes in an effort not to throw up. Hearing him tell her what he wanted and seeing it there in black and white turned out to be two different things. The coldness of it truly sank in, settling into her bones even as the nausea rolled her stomach.
I’m crazy to even consider this. I’d be stupid to sign my life away to the bastard for one day, let alone five fucking years! Why am I doing it? No one really even cares about the place but me. Is it worth my self-respect—my soul?
She really didn’t know what to think anymore. If she let the bank take the ranch, they’d have nothing. There would be no money to help Bethany and Sedona finish up at college. Sure, they had scholarships and worked, but it wasn’t enough for living expenses. Even if Sierra got a job somewhere, she couldn’t possibly make enough money to support herself and both of them.
There was no way she could get out of it. She stared at the offensive stack of papers on the desk and racked her brain for even one idea that would get her out of the mess she was in. Logical or illogical, she prayed for just one shot in the dark to hold on to while she had the contract reviewed. She’d been unable to rest well at night for the last few days as she waited for Dexter to call and the damn thing to come in the mail. There was no way she would sleep at all now. Hell, she wouldn’t sleep well for the next five years if she couldn’t find a way out of it.
Disgust burned like acid in her throat as she slipped the papers back into the envelope and hid it under the ledger in her desk. Then she turned on the computer and waited for it to boot up. She had to find someone reputable in another town to help with this.
There was a knock on the door when the computer finally displayed the home page. She pulled out a few papers and called out for Sedona to come in.
Her sister opened the door and trudged into the room to plop down on one of the chairs in front of the desk. She looked up and gave Sierra a small smile. It was obvious she’d been crying.
“Sedona, honey. Don’t cry for me. I’m fine. I’m happy. No matter what you think, I haven’t given up anything that I wanted as much as I wanted us to be a family and take care of the ranch. Ranching is in my blood and always has been.” Sierra rubbed her face and crossed her arms on the desk.
“No matter what you say, Sis, I know you’ve sacrificed a lot for us. I feel guilty because I’m glad you did it. I didn’t want to be separated from my family or grow up in some apartment all cramped togethe
r. I feel guilty because for most of the time, I never even thought about what it cost you to do it all. It’s not fair that you finally reach for something you wanted and it didn’t happen. Why won’t you let me help you? I want to help you, Sierra,” she said, her eyes bright with tears.
Her own eyes blurred at her sister’s words. Somehow, it made everything she’d done and would do in the future for them worth it. It settled her heart, and she smiled. Getting up, Sierra walked around the desk and knelt in front of Sedona. All she had to do was open her arms and her little sister fell into them.
“Honey. Please don’t get upset like this. It breaks my heart. I love you and Buddy and Bethany with all my heart. Nothing will ever be more important to me than you guys. Nothing can ever mean as much to me as you guys. I’m so happy and proud of all of you. I’ve never done anything that I didn’t want to, Sedona. If I really hadn’t wanted to keep the ranch and make a home for the four of us, I could have easily just let the state take control. That wasn’t what I wanted. I wanted us.” She rocked Sedona until her tears dried and her sister was once again in control.
“I’m sorry, Sis. I didn’t mean to break down like that. I’ve just been so worried about you and leaving you to go to college,” Sedona finally said.
“Well, stop it, young lady. You’ve got an entire future ahead of you. You can be anything you want and do anything you want. There are no strings holding you back. I’m not mom or dad and won’t clip your wings. All I ask is that you are careful, stay in touch with me so I know you are well, and always remember that I’m here and you can always come home,” she said and smiled. “No matter what, me and the ranch are always here for you.”
“I know. I love you, Sierra.”
Sedona hugged her tightly then got up and took a deep breath. “I’m going to shower and go on to bed. I promised Sidney I’d go to church with her in the morning. Do you want to come?” she asked.
“Not this time. Thanks. I have some things I want to do tomorrow. I’ll see you when you get home,” Sierra told her.
“Okay. Good night.” Sedona turned and walked out, leaving Sierra alone to contemplate her lack of choices.
As much as she hated the idea of having anything to do with Dexter, he was her only choice if she wanted to keep the ranch. If she could sell it for enough to pay off the loan against it and be able to continue to pay for the girls to finish school, Sierra would do it in a heartbeat. But there was no way the ranch would pull in enough for all of that.
I just need to face it. I’m fucked.
Chapter Six
“You aren’t really seriously considering signing this contract, are you?” Nate Hodges asked Sierra Monday morning.
She’d called an old friend of her dad’s and asked him who he recommended that would be good with contracts that didn’t work or live in the Riverbend area. He’d suggested the one he used nearly three hours away. She’d gotten up early on Monday morning and driven to Carmichael, Texas to see if she could meet with him that day. To her relief, he had an opening at ten.
“Yes. I don’t really have much of a choice, so I want to make sure my interests are covered. I just need you to make sure that no matter what happens, I get the ranch free and clear with all buildings intact and all animals in good health. I don’t want some loophole to screw me up once this mess is all over with.” She had coached herself the entire drive over to remain calm and businesslike no matter what.
“You do realize that basically this constitutes, um, prostitution and is illegal,” the man said, staring directly into her eyes.
“Yes, I do, however he obviously worded it so that you and I and anyone who read it would know that, but legally it never says anything that can be used to incriminate either of us. It’s not what I want, but it is all I have, Mr. Hodges. Unless you can think of another way I can keep the ranch without whoring myself to the bastard, I’m stuck. I just need you to make sure my interests are covered,” she said with a sigh.
She watched the lawyer shake his head and look over the contract again. He rubbed his hands over his face before looking back up.
“Why don’t you go to the bank president and tell him what is going on? I can’t believe he would condone this.”
“The bank president is Dexter’s father. The personal loan officer is his cousin. Most of the people in Riverbend are good, hardworking, and as honest as the day is long. The Harringtons are the exception. They’ve owned the bank and one of the stores there for at least the last seventy-five years, maybe even longer.”
“How long do you have until you have to sign it and turn it over to him?” Nate asked.
“I think I have until Friday, but I’d rather get it to him by Thursday. It didn’t come to my house, it went to a neighbor’s house instead, and I’m not sure how long it was actually there before they picked it up. The postmark was for Wednesday of the previous week.” She wanted to rub her hands on her pant legs to dry them but stopped herself.
“Give me till Wednesday at noon to review this and do some checking. Can you pick it up Wednesday afternoon? I’d like for you to sign it here, and we’ll let my secretary witness your signature and notarize it.”
Sierra let out a breath in relief. She’d been afraid he’d refuse to do it. She stood up and shook his hand, tears in her eyes.
“Thank you so much, Mr. Hodges. I realize this is unusual and…”
“Unethical would be the word,” he said with a frown. “I would rather look it over and assure myself that you won’t end up cheated or in any danger than to let you sign this without counsel,” he said.
“Thank you so much. I’ll be back Wednesday at one if that is okay with you,” she said.
“That will be fine. I’ll mark off time for you. I have your number if I have any questions and need to talk to you,” he told her. “Please keep thinking of another way out, Sierra. This is almost more than I can stand.”
“Me, too,” she said in a near whisper. “Me, too.”
On the way back home, Sierra had to pull over at a rest stop and just sit in the truck for a while to still her racing heart. Somehow leaving the contract with the lawyer made it that much more real than it had been the day before, and it had felt pretty damn real to her then.
It was all her fault to begin with anyway. She should have looked closer at the damn loan she’d gotten to dig them out of debt from her dad’s neglect after their mom died. She’d thought the Harringtons were good people. Her dad had always said he could trust them and didn’t mind doing business with them.
Sierra banged the steering wheel. Evidently they saw a chance to pull the wool over her eyes to get the land, and she foolishly walked right in and handed it to them on a silver platter. Why did Dexter have to fixate on her? She couldn’t really believe that it was all about the land. He’d harassed her for as long as she could remember. It had started back in high school when she’d been a sophomore and he a junior. He’d asked her to the junior prom, but she’d turned him down. She hadn’t even gone to the stupid dance because she had to take care of her mother, but he’d taken it personally.
The next time he saw her at school, Dexter had taunted her by making it look like she hadn’t had the money for a dress to go. It made her so angry that she lost her temper and belittled him in front of all of his friends, making it sound like she had rather stay home than go anywhere with him.
Now, nearly twelve years later, he was still making her pay for that slight she hadn’t even known she’d given. His senior year he hadn’t asked her to the senior prom, but when she had gone with one of his classmates, he’d humiliated her every chance he got. That went on through her senior year anytime he was home from college. When she’d forgone school to take care of her mom, he’d tried to get her to marry him, saying he’d make sure she got the best care he could find for her. She’d turned him down again. After that, the kid gloves had come off.
No matter how much she wanted to hide, Sierra needed to suck it up and drive home. She had c
hores and there was paperwork to be done. God, there was always paperwork. She didn’t mind it so much when she didn’t have anything else to do, but with all the chores and cooking and cleaning, there was never enough time.
With that thought in mind, Sierra sat up straight and pulled out of the rest stop. She still had over two hours of driving time left. She hoped the hands had managed to get the bulk of the hay moved by the time she got home.
For the next two hours, Sierra forced her mind to go over things that needed to be done and things she wanted to do to keep the ranch in good working order. Then, she thought about some of the things she’d have liked to do to make it more comfortable. By the time she pulled down her drive, Sierra had the entire future of the ranch planned out like a well plotted book.
Most of it would never see fruition, but it was always fun to dream. Sometimes dreams were all a person had.
* * * *
Thorne looked at his friend in amazement. Then he closed his mouth once he realized it had been hanging open since Rollan had completely floored him with his statement.
“What?” Rollan asked with a scowl, drawing his brows together.
“I–I just never expected you to say something like that. You’ve been harping that we need to get the ranch going before we court anyone,” Thorne reminded him.
“Yeah, well. I changed my mind. So sue me,” Rollan grumbled.
“Hell, no! Let’s grab a shower before we head in that direction. I smell worse than horse piss,” Thorne said with a sniff.
Rollan curled his lip at him. “Yeah, well, that’s what happens when it’s your turn to clean out the stalls. I’ve told you more than once to wear the damn coveralls.”
“I don’t know how you can stand them. They make me feel like I’m standing in an oven and are hard as hell to muck a barn in.” Thorne waved him off. “I’m hitting the shower. Hurry up, man. No way am I going to let you out of this. It was your idea.” Thorn turned and jogged out of the living room and up the stairs.