by Marla Monroe
Chapter Fifteen
Sierra threw the pen across the room as she made the same damn mistake for the third time. How could she concentrate, worrying about Thorne and his reaction to her request? No, she hadn’t gone about it the right way, but she didn’t have any real experience with the art of talking with me unless it was related to horses, cows, or ranches.
Face it. I’ve probably lost him and Rollan. I just want be free for a few days to figure out who I am and what I want.
Thinking about it like that, she almost scoffed. She sounded like some teenager wanting to skip college and go find herself. It wasn’t like that. She’d had to be an adult before she’d even finished high school. Then she’d had to be mom and dad to her brother and the girls while keeping the ranch going so they could stay together and eat regular meals. Why was it so wrong for her to need a little time to regroup before she jumped into another family role?
She’d been working on putting the ranch’s books in order and making out timetables and schedules all weekend in an effort to put Friday out of her head, but it kept dogging her. Why hadn’t she just talked to them instead of going around the world to try and lead them to her point? At the time, she’d been too scared and unsure of herself to bring it up like that. Now she saw what a colossal mistake she’d made by handling it that way.
“Why can’t I get anything right?” she moaned, holding her head.
She’d screwed up her relationship with Buddy years ago and even now, he wouldn’t return her calls. She’d called him Thursday night and again Friday when she’d finally made it back to the ranch. Here it was Sunday evening and he still hadn’t called back. She knew the girls spoke with him on a regular basis, but he wouldn’t give her the courtesy of a callback to see if something was wrong.
To make things worse, she’d returned home to find that her chickens had somehow gotten loose and she only managed to get four of them back. The rest had either been eaten by something or wandered off. This morning, her milk cow had been loose wandering the yard and no one knew how she’d gotten out of the stall, much less the barn.
Nothing was going right. Sierra felt as if her world was crashing around her again. She couldn’t keep going on rollercoaster rides with her emotions like this. It would drive her crazy. When the kids had been younger there had always been one emergency after another. Buddy had outgrown his shoes again and they didn’t have money for new ones or Bethany’s glasses no longer worked for her. The roof had a leak one week and the next they needed to fix the pump for their well to water the horses and other farm animals.
She fully expected to hear from Mr. Harrington the first of the week and prayed Dexter wouldn’t attempt to contact her at all. She used to wish she had someone to lean on when everything got hairy in her life. Now that she did, she had pushed them away and still had to deal with it all on her own.
Stupid. That’s what she was.
“Sierra?” Sedona’s clear voice echoed down the hall.
“In the office, hon,” she called back.
“Hey. I was wondering if it would be okay with you for me to go to Dallas with Andrea for a few days to look for school clothes and supplies?” her sister asked.
“Hey, honey. You don’t have to ask my permission. You’re a grown woman. I appreciate you letting me know though so I don’t worry. How long do you think y’all’ll be gone?”
Sierra watched the light in her sister’s eyes sparkle and the way her light brown hair shone with the evening sun shining through the window on it. She loved her family. No matter how much she’d hated being the one to deal with everything while they were all growing up, she still loved them more than anything.
“I wanted to be sure you didn’t need me for anything before I agreed to go,” Sedona said. “Andrea said we’d stay with her aunt and uncle there and come home either late Wednesday afternoon or early Thursday morning.”
“That sounds like a great idea. You’ll have a good time shopping. Did you activate your card you got in the mail last week? You can use it now to buy your clothes. I’ve transferred money into the account so you should have plenty for shopping.” Sierra had explained everything that had happened on Friday to her sister when she’d gotten home. She’d been in a mess and thankfully the young woman had assumed it was because of what Dexter had put her through.
“I did and used it to put gas in the truck to make sure it would work. You put an awful lot of money in the account, Sis. Are you sure you don’t need to hang on to some of it until you get the rest of what they owe you from the bank?” Sedona asked, her brows drawn into a tight line.
“I’m sure. There’s more than enough in the ranch account and I added money to Bethany’s account as well,” she said. “If you talk to Buddy sometime soon, ask him to call me please. I want to find out how to send him his share of what he have so far for selling the ranch.”
“He still isn’t returning your calls?” Sedona asked.
“No. Don’t go into it with him. It’s between us, and I don’t want you pressuring him. It’s not right for you and Bethany to end up caught between our fight. We’ll eventually work it out. Just tell him we sold the ranch and I want to know how to send his part to him.”
“Okay, but I think he’s being an ass about all of it. No matter what he’s angry about, all you’ve ever done is take care of us and do what needed doing to keep us fed and a roof over our heads,” she said with a huff.
Sierra smiled. Of all of her siblings, Sedona seemed to be more aware of things around her than the others. It didn’t matter though, she loved all of them equally. It hurt her heart to be out of sorts with Buddy, but she couldn’t make him change his mind about things.
“We’re leaving in the morning about eight. Will you be near the house around that time? I’d like to say good-bye before we go. She’s going to pick me up.”
“I’ll be right here in the office. With Rollan and Thorne owning the ranch now, they’ve sent hands over to work to keep me in the office. I won’t be out as much now,” she said.
“Great! I’m glad. You don’t need to be working that hard all the time. This is going to be so much better for you. When will you move over there to cook for them?” Sedona asked.
“Um, I’m not sure. I might not do that right away, at least not until we have the ranch back up to par.” She busied herself with the papers in front of her without really seeing what they were. She was afraid her sister would see that something wasn’t right with her.
“That sounds logical. I better hurry and call Andrea to let her know before she goes out to eat with Benny. Love you, Sis!” Sedona kissed her on the cheek before running out the door.
While Sedona knew everything related to the mess with Dexter and the guys still buying the ranch, she didn’t know anything personal that was going on with her. She didn’t want her sister to feel pulled when it came to her friendship with the two men. If nothing else, Sierra was sure that if Sedona needed help and called, they would move heaven and earth to get to her. They weren’t vindictive or petty in the least.
What she needed to do was stop moping around and figure out what she wanted. It wasn’t fair to leave the two men who’d been nothing but good to her hanging on a line waiting for her to make up her mind what she wanted. She didn’t expect them to wait forever either.
A soft knock on the door that was partially open caused her to look up. One of the new men sent over by Thorne to be the foreman stood there with his hat in his hand.
“Sorry to bother you, but I wanted to let you know how things are going before I leave for the night.”
“You’re not bothering me. Come on in. I’m sorry. I forgot your name. I’m not real good with names,” she said, wincing at how that sounded.
“It’s Yancy, ma’am. We’ve gotten all the fences secured with fresh barbed wire and new posts or cross pieces where needed. The gate in the south pasture needs more work, but I need some things from town before I can finish it.” He slid a piece of paper acro
ss the desk to her. “That’s a list of a few things we need. I’ll be glad to go pick it Monday if you call and authorize me to get it.”
“I’d appreciate that. I’ll make a note on this to call early tomorrow morning.” She stuck the note to her computer screen.
“The cattle all look good. I think you’ll get a good price for them come next month. I’m going to tell the boss, um, the other boss that we need about fifteen bales of hay to get us through the next few months.” He looked uncomfortable as if he’d been told to treat her like his boss.
“It’s okay, Yancy. Thorne and Rollan are all of our bosses. I’m managing the business side of the ranch for them is all.” She realized for the first time that saying that didn’t really hurt her like she thought it would.
The truth was, now that she wasn’t going out to work with the men every day, she was beginning to feel a bit better and enjoyed the freedom it gave her. She didn’t want to admit that to the guys yet, though.
“Yeah, well, I just wanted you to know what I was doing. Oh, and I’ll turn in the hours first thing in the morning. I have Brice finishing up some chores tonight. His truck is the green and blue pieced-together one near the barn. When it’s gone, he’ll be gone for the night as well,” Yancy said.
“Thanks for letting me know. Have a good night, Yancy.” She stood up and shook the man’s work-roughened hand and received a smile for her effort.
As soon as he’d left, Sierra stood up and stretched. She walked over to the window that looked out the back to see the pieced-together truck Yancy had described to her. Sure enough, it sat off to the side of the barn. It was a conglomeration of parts from several different trucks. More than likely, some of them weren’t even the same make or model. She smiled, realizing that this Brice fellow was making things work the best he could just like she’d been doing for the last eight or so years.
Turning away, Sierra decided to call it a night. She would get a fresh start in the morning. She wouldn’t dwell on the fact that neither man had called to check on her, neither had they stopped by. She was the one who’d said she needed time and they were giving it to her. She just wished she didn’t regret it so much now.
After turning shutting down the computer, Sierra put away the papers she’d tried to work on and picked up the pen she’d tossed earlier. Then she cut off the light and closed the door to search for something to snack on before bed. She’d barely gone four steps before a noise outside of the house that sounded a lot like stomping hooves pushed her to race for the kitchen and the back door. When she opened the door and stepped out on the back porch, she saw two of her horses running across the back without a rider or even a saddle.
“What the hell?” Sierra whistled to call them back, but they didn’t stop, continuing across the field. They always answered her whistle.
Something was wrong. She raced down the steps to the barn and found the door and two of the stall doors standing wide open. There was no one to be seen. She opened the last stall where Diablo stood stomping and snorting as if something had upset him.
“Easy, boy. What has you all hot and bothered, huh?” She eased open his stall door and stepped inside with him. His eyes rolled, but he stopped stomping when she walked in with him. He held still as she slipped the bridle over his head then let her lead him over to the steps she used when she rode bareback. Without the pommel, she didn’t have a way to mount him and refused to use his mane.
“Easy, there. We’re going to round up the ladies. They can’t run wild like that at night, right?” She settled easily onto his back and looped the leads for the two escaped horses around her waist and tied them to her belt.
“Let’s go, boy.” She gave him a soft nudge with her heels and they were off.
It took her twenty minutes to catch them and snap on their leads. They had settled down for the most part by the time they reached them, but Sierra could tell that something had spooked them. When she returned to the barn, it was to find the owner of the truck, Brice, pacing back and forth in front of the barn door.
“Hey! Are you okay? I was down at the hay barn moving the last few bales when I heard you whistle. By the time I got close enough to see what was wrong, you were racing off on that devil of a horse as if the hounds from hell were chasing you,” he said.
“I’m fine. Can you take them for me and wipe them down? Their stalls were open and they took a romp out the west pasture. Have you seen anyone around that doesn’t belong?” She asked the man. He didn’t look to be much over twenty-three or four to her.
He shook his head. “No. Just the new foreman, Andy, the other new guy, and your two regular hands. Andy worked all morning but left about noon. I’ve been here since about two.”
“Someone has been letting the animals out. I lost most of my chickens Friday and the cow was out Saturday. Keep a watch and let me know if you see anything odd going on,” she said.
“I will. Let me walk you up to the house. Make sure you lock all your doors. If someone is snooping around, it’s not safe to leave them unlocked,” the young man said.
She let him walk her to the house. He waited while she locked the door then waved as he walked back toward the hay barn. For the first time, she thought back to the day she’d met Thorne when he’d said her tire had been cut. Maybe she needed to think about getting a dog again. Maybe instead of a herd dog she needed a guard dog.
* * * *
The rest of the week seemed to fly by as Sierra adjusted to managing behind a desk instead of on the back of a horse. She found that she enjoyed it, but loneliness pushed at her. Sierra had left early Monday morning and didn’t return until Thursday around noon. While she had enjoyed the peace and quiet so that she could really think about her life, she missed her sister and got a good idea of what it would be like once she was gone to college in a few weeks.
Monday and Tuesday had been fairly quiet, but Wednesday she got several hang-up phone calls that annoyed her then worried her. Later that afternoon she’d gone out to sit on the front porch for some fresh air and almost fell when the second step leading from the porch broke with her. She stumbled but managed to keep from falling though her ankle hurt something fierce.
When she had one of the hands look at it for her, they confirmed what she’d already known in her head. Someone had cut the riser beneath the step to make it weak so it would fall when someone stepped on it. She’d had the steps repaired the year before, so she knew someone had messed with them. The question was why? What did they have to gain by causing all the problems she’d had lately?
On Thursday afternoon, after her sister had returned and they’d gone through all the great clothes she’d bought for school, Sierra told her about what had been going on and warned her to be very careful and not go anywhere alone until she could figure out what was going on.
“Have you talked to Thorne and Rollan about it yet?” she asked.
Sierra had nearly snapped her head off before she’d stopped herself.
“No! I don’t want to bother them with this just yet. I’m the manager. I need to figure it out,” she’d said.
Her sister hadn’t looked convinced, but had promised not to say anything yet. Sedona had asked about the two men several times when they’d talked on the phone while the other woman had been in Dallas. Each time she’d said they’d all been too busy to talk much. It was only a matter of time before her sister realized that something wasn’t right between them.
Sedona left late that afternoon to have dinner with her friends in Riverbend, leaving Sierra alone again. She had just about come to the conclusion by how much she missed Rollan and Thorne that she had made a serious mistake asking for time to think. She wished they would call her or something. She knew she should call them and admit that she’d screwed up and that she loved them.
Love? I can’t believe I’m admitting that I already love them.
But she did and needed to tell them how she felt. Sierra just wasn’t sure if they still felt the same way after the w
ay she’d acted. What would she do if they told her they’d changed their mind and she wasn’t who they thought she was after all? It would kill her.
She paced back and forth in the living room, trying to get up the nerve to make the call. Each time she reached for the phone, she chickened out, too afraid to find out for sure how they felt now.
After the fifth or sixth false start, Sierra finally punched in one of the numbers on their card. It rang several times before it went to voicemail. She almost hung up, but decided to leave a message instead. After the beep, she told them she needed to talk to them, to please call her when they got the message. She tired the other number and it went to voicemail as well. She didn’t leave another message.
Satisfied that she’d made the first move and they would eventually call her back when they could, Sierra opted for a nice hot soak in the tub while she waited. Now that she’d made up her mind, everything felt right in her world again. She’d come to realize that she hadn’t really needed to find herself at all. She knew who she was. She’d just lost sight of that in the pain of dealing with Dexter and the excitement of finding love and a future with two men who she could trust and count on no matter what.
Sierra pampered herself for an hour before climbing out of the tub and drying off. She checked her phone but there were no messages or missed calls. It worried her, but she told herself that they were busy out on the ranch somewhere. They would call when they got in.
By the time she was ready to go to bed and they still hadn’t called, Sierra had just about decided they had changed their minds about her and were ignoring her. It upset her and made her angry all at the same time. It had barely been a week for goodness sakes. If they had truly wanted her, even loved her, they wouldn’t have changed their minds this fast. Either they were tied up or she’d been mistaken about them all along.