by Kelsie Rae
Her brows furrow as if she has no idea where I’m going with this, so I decide to spell it out for her.
“Do you remember how much you’d stress before finals every year? How you’d fixate on all the problems you were afraid you weren’t ready for, instead of focusing on the topics you were nailing?”
“Yes?”
My mouth quirks up on one side as my thumb runs along her jaw. “Do you remember what I would do to distract you after a long night of studying so that you’d finally stop stressing about the unknown for a minute?”
She bites her lip, then breathes, “Yes.”
“Will you slap me if I distract you right now from all the tiny voices inside your head that are begging you to get back in your car and leave me again?”
Her mouth curves up on one side. “Maybe.”
“And when you say maybe, what kind of odds am I dealing with? Fifty-fifty? Sixty-forty?”
“Seventy-thirty,” she offers, biting back her grin.
“That I’ll get slapped?”
She shakes her head. “That you won’t.”
“I’ll take those odds,” I murmur before closing the final breath of distance between us. My mouth teases hers. Carefully. Softly. Not demanding but not asking for permission, either. It’s a taste. A promise. That if she lets me in, the results will be more than either of us could’ve ever asked for. And she knows that as well as I do.
We fit just as perfectly as before. Hell, even better because we know what’s like to live without the other. And it’s unbearable.
A soft whimper vibrates against my lips as I slide my tongue along the seam of her lips. She sighs and raises onto her tiptoes to get closer to me. To put us both out of our misery. Because this is normal. This is easy. This is two souls who’ve been apart for too long. This is just a kiss. But it’s everything I’ve ever needed. Everything I knew I’ve been missing since the moment I broke a girl’s heart that I wanted to keep forever.
“Dad! Miss Swenson!” Grady yells from the family room.
Ending the kiss all too soon, I rest my forehead against Saylor’s and exhale slowly while trying not to lose my shit on my cockblocker of a son.
“I’ve got bad news for you,” Saylor whispers.
“What’s that?”
“A kiss like that isn’t normal. Trust me. I spent years trying to find it after you left.”
“So did I,” I rasp.
She smiles back at me. “But it is easy with you. Maybe a little too easy, if I’m being honest. I’m uh, I’m going to go use that bathroom. You better start the movie before you wind up with a full-blown rebellion on your hands. I’ll be there in a few.”
“Okay.”
She slips around me, her hips swaying back and forth in a pair of dark jeans before disappearing around the corner toward the guest bathroom.
“Dad!” Grady calls again.
I shake my head and clear my throat. “I’m coming!” I yell before cringing at my poor word choice.
I wish I was coming.
Shaking my head, I go to the family room, then get the movie set up and push play. But I can’t focus on a freaking word until Saylor comes into view a few minutes later. She tiptoes toward me before lifting her chin toward the cushion to my left.
“Is this seat taken?”
I lift my finger to my lips, motioning for her to be quiet, then grab her arm and tug her toward me.
Her hand covers her face to muffle her laughter, but her eyes are still crinkled in the corners, and it’s the prettiest sight I’ve ever seen. A fresh wave of nerves is bubbling just beneath the surface, but she pushes them aside and snuggles into my chest, resting her head on my pec. Just like she used to. The familiar scent of sweet vanilla clings to her hair and tickles my nose, but I avoid the urge to lean in and breathe deep. Instead, I wrap my arm around her shoulders and squeeze softly, soaking up the moment like a dry sponge. I know what it’s like to live without these moments, and I refuse to take them for granted ever again.
The rest of the movie goes by in a blur, and I don’t catch a single plot point. I’m too busy memorizing the way Say’s chest rises and falls or the soft gasps that escape her anytime something intense happens on the screen even though she’s seen the movie a thousand times. When it’s finished, I tell the boys to get in their snow gear and play in the backyard for a few minutes, promising to start the next movie in an hour. Thankfully, they oblige without arguing.
Which leaves me and Saylor alone. Again.
“So…your son most definitely caught us snuggling during the movie. You know that, right?” Saylor points out as soon as the back door slams shut.
My eyebrow arches toward the ceiling. “Is that a problem?”
“I don’t”––her button nose scrunches with indecision––“I don’t know? What do you think?”
“He might be young, Say, but he’s not stupid. He knows I have a crush on you.”
She laughs. “A crush?”
“Yeah.”
“He knows you have a crush on me?” she clarifies, her grin wide and carefree.
With a one-shouldered shrug, I push off from the kitchen counter and close the distance between us. I feel like we’re two magnets fighting the distance that separates us any time we’re apart. And now that I know she’s okay with our normal and easy, I’m not about to keep fighting it.
“Yeah,” I answer, grabbing her hips and pulling her closer to me. “I stopped trying to hide it when he caught me moping after our little fight in the break room a while ago.”
“Moping?” she asks, her face glowing with amusement.
“Don’t make fun. That was rough for me.”
“I’m not making fun. I just think your terms of crush and moping are the cutest, most juvenile things I’ve ever heard.”
“Is that a problem?”
“Nope. And it was rough for me too,” she admits. “I just find it kind of adorable that Grady noticed. Is that why he kept inviting me to the Star Wars movie nights every Friday?”
My eyes widen in surprise. “He did?”
She nods. “Mm-hmm. Always made a point to say which movie you were going to watch and that I was welcome to come, despite our earlier conversation where I told him I was in time-out for something that happened between you and me and had yet to apologize.”
“We were both in time-out and needed to apologize,” I remind her. “I’m sorry, by the way.”
“Me too.”
“So, he really kept inviting you to movie night?” I prod.
“Sure did. He even tried to bribe me with chocolate.”
“Sneaky little punk. Although, if he would’ve let me in on his secret plot, I would’ve mentioned the white gummy bears.”
Throwing her head back, she laughs even harder. “And I would’ve caved in an instant. Apparently, he was trying to play matchmaker.”
“Apparently,” I mutter before sobering slightly. “So, are you okay with that? Grady knowing?”
She stays quiet and mulls it over for a few seconds, then toys with the cotton fabric on my sleeve, rolling it between her fingers as she decides. “I’m not sure we’d be able to keep it from Grady even if we tried. But that doesn’t mean I’m ready to air it out to everyone else, either. That’s what I was trying to tell you through text last night. I like you, Owen. You know that. But I’m terrified of telling people that we might be trying this again.”
“Why?”
“I’m not saying this to hurt you or make you feel guilty, okay? But you weren’t here after we broke up, Owen. The looks I got from everyone in town after you left. The way they would whisper and pat me on the back, saying, ‘Poor girl. I’m so sorry, sweetheart.’ My mom would call me daily, checking up on me. My dad gave me a pep talk and told me to suck it up.” Her nostrils flare. “Everything fell apart, and I had to pick up the pieces. By myself. While everyone was watching me. Pitying me. It was just…rough.”
“I’m not going anywhere, Say––”
&n
bsp; She presses her hand to my chest. “I’m not going to ask you to promise me that, Owen. That’s not fair to you, and I’m sorry I even brought it up during the Fun Run all those weeks ago. I know that we can’t control everything. We can only do the best that we can, and I can’t let the fear of the unknown rule my life like that. Like I said, I’m not bringing this up to make you feel guilty for the way things went down back then. I’m just…not quite ready to tell the world.”
“Okay,” I exhale and kiss her forehead. “We’ll wait until you’re ready.”
Digging her teeth into her lower lip, she looks up at me through her thick upper lashes. “And you’re alright with that?”
“I want you to be happy, Say. Because you make me happy. And even though I’m dying to tell everyone that you’re giving me another chance, if I can’t shout it from the rooftops for a little while, that’s okay too.”
“You’re sure?” she asks.
“Yeah. But I gotta ask, would this have anything to do with Principal Wells’ rule?”
Her jaw drops. “You know about that?”
“He mentioned it at the Boo Bash.” I drop my voice down a few octaves and pull out my best Wells impression. “Glad to see you keeping your distance, my boy. Wouldn’t want to ruin her chances at VP next year, would you?”
She gasps. “He didn’t.”
“Oh, but he did. I get it, though. No fraternizing with your superior and all that, am I right?”
“I’m not your superior––”
“But you would be if you got the VP position,” I point out, my fingers digging into her hips.
“That’s a long shot at best.” Her gaze drops to the floor. “Besides, that’s jumping the gun a bit, isn’t it?”
I scoff, more amused than frustrated that she still doesn’t understand how deeply I care about her. “Seriously, Say?”
“I don’t know…I don’t want you to feel tied down or that you have to commit to me just because I showed up today, ya know?”
My finger brushes against her chin as I force her to look at me. “This isn’t a typical first date, Say. We have a history together. We have a past. We know how well we fit and how easily this could turn into forever. How easy this would’ve turned into forever if I didn’t screw it up the first time. And I know it sounds fast, but I don’t need to date around or test the waters before making anything official with you. Like I said, I’m all in. And when you’re ready to tell people, I’ll be right by your side to prove that we’re gonna make it. But…I also know that people change, and we have a lot of catching up to do. What are your thoughts on Mandy taking the kids tomorrow night so you and I can go on a real date?”
Her perfectly plucked brow arches. “A real date?”
“Yeah.”
“Without kids?”
“You mean my cockblocker son?” I correct her with a grin. “Yeah.”
She laughs. “I think that’s a brilliant idea.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah,” she confirms. “On one condition.”
“What’s that?”
“We go somewhere out of town, so the gossip stays at bay for a little longer.”
I smirk, then press another quick kiss to her forehead. “Deal.”
18
Saylor
“Hey, where are you going?” Skye asks. Her feet are propped up on the coffee table as the television glows with the Netflix home screen.
“Just…out. Maybe to a movie or something. I dunno. I’m getting a little stir crazy,” I ramble. “Wanna come?” I add as I take in the hair piled on top of her head and yesterday’s tanktop peeking up from above the couch.
She glances over her shoulder, then rolls her eyes. “Gee. Thanks for the heads up.”
“Sorry––”
“Don’t worry about it. Go have fun. I’ll just…be here. As always.”
My stomach tightens with guilt as I grab my keys before rocking back on my heels to face her again. “You sure, Skye? I’m here if you need me––”
“I know, I know. It’s fine. Go have fun getting out and having a night on the town. Maybe fate will intervene, and you’ll even run into a certain someone.”
“Mm-hmm,” I hum. “See ya.”
With a quick wave, I step into the hallway, close the door, then drive to Owen’s house. Because we’re going on a date. Like an actual couple. And I was too nervous to tell my own sister about it.
Gah! I’m the worst.
Squeezing the steering wheel a little tighter, I pull into Owen’s driveway before bundling my coat a bit closer to me. Then I walk to the front door and tap my knuckles against the cold surface.
When it opens, I’m gifted with a mouth-watering model in a grey button-up shirt. The sight is served up with a side of déjà vu as I take in his boyish grin that’s on full display.
“Hey,” Owen greets me.
With my arms crossed over my chest, I return, “Hi.”
“Did you make it here okay? I wish you would’ve let me pick you up––”
“But then I would’ve had to tell Skye about our little….” I wave my finger between us, feeling absolutely ridiculous that I can't even say the four-letter word that starts with D and ends with -ate.
“Date?” he offers innocently.
“Yeah. That.”
He laughs. “Speaking of which, I have two dates planned. One includes an outdoor activity, and the other would still require us to leave the house but would be indoors. Do you have a preference, or do you want me to decide?”
“You planned two dates?”
That same boyish grin turns sheepish as he shrugs one shoulder and tells me, “Yeah. I wanted to be ready for all possibilities in case the weather was too bad for date number one.”
“Hmm.” I tap my finger against my chin, mulling over the options before asking, “I don’t suppose you’d tell me what each date is so I can make a proper decision, would you?”
“Nope. They’re both surprises. So, all you have to answer is in or out?”
“Um….” I drop my hands to my sides and twist my torso from side to side as if to test the temperature comfort of my thermals. “In.”
He smirks. “Good choice. Do you want to take my car or yours since it’s already warm? I’m good either way.”
“We can take mine, but you’re driving.” I toss him the keys, and he catches them before grabbing his coat and stepping onto the front porch. With a twist of his wrist, he locks the front door, and I turn toward my car when his hand grabs my arm to stop me.
“Wait.”
“What is it?” I ask, turning to face him again.
“I forgot something.” Leaning closer, he presses a soft, sweet, close-mouthed kiss to my lips, leaving me a melting puddle on the concrete as he pulls away and murmurs, “You look beautiful.”
“Thank you,” I breathe.
Satisfied, he tangles our fingers together, then guides me to my car and opens the passenger side before rounding the front and slipping behind the steering wheel.
Like an old couple, we bicker over music as he drives us to an undisclosed location while I toss out possibilities like they’re candy on Halloween night.
“The movies?” I offer.
“Nope.”
“The drive-in?”
“That’s a movie. And no.”
“Charlie Chows?” I ask.
“Nope.”
“Betty’s Diner?”
“Stop guessing!”
“I knew it!” I reply with a grin while shamelessly checking him out. If it weren’t awkward as hell, I’d snap a picture with my cell phone for safekeeping. Honestly, I might not be able to control myself if he keeps giving me the side smirk that showcases his strong jaw and dimpled cheek. The combination is like my dreams on steroids, and I have to stop myself from leaning forward to kiss the slight stubble that clings to his chin.
“What are you looking at?” he demands, his gaze narrowing in suspicion.
I bat my lashes back a
t him. “Nothing.”
“Liar.” His grin widens. “You’re wrong, by the way.”
“About what?”
“It’s not Betty’s.”
“Then, what is it?”
“You’ll see.”
“You’re killin’ me, Smalls,” I tell him.
“You’ve been killin’ me for years and have yet to put me out of my misery, so consider this payback.”
“Excuse me?” I clutch at my chest as though I’m offended. “What did I ever do to you?”
“You put up those pictures on the Birds and Bees app. The white bikini, Say? Were you trying to kill all those poor bastards on there?”
With a shrug, I answer, “Skye set it up for me.”
“Of course, she did,” he mutters under his breath. “Remind me to smack her when I see her, yeah?”
“Nope. No deal. Not after perusing your profile, mister. It’s not like you have room to talk,” I quip.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“The rock climbing pictures? While shirtless?” I fan my face. “Day-um, Owen.”
He throws his head back and laughs even harder. “But you only saw those a few months ago. I’ve been lusting for years.”
“Ahem, if we’re going to play that game, then I’m gonna win. Do you actually think I missed watching any of your stupid football games?” I cross my arms and get cozy in the passenger seat, daring him to argue.
His smile softens as his gaze darts over to mine. “You really watched them?”
“Every single one.”
“Why?”
“Because I’m a glutton for punishment,” I reply, snarkily.
With the gentlest of touches, he sets his hand on my thigh, then squeezes. “That honestly means a lot to me, Say. I know that sounds dumb, but it really does. I always played my best when you were in the stands. And after I left…I didn’t know who to play for anymore.”
“Liar,” I tease in an attempt to lighten the mood, though it’s laced with an undertone of bitterness that I pray he doesn’t hear.
The heat from his hand brands me as he rubs his thumb back and forth along my thigh. “I’m serious, Say.”
“I know you, remember?” I rasp, the earlier playfulness that started this conversation vanishing into thin air. “You played for yourself, and like I said, that’s okay. But don’t try to fool yourself into believing that you played for me. If that were true, you wouldn’t have left or broken my heart in the first place.”