by Emma Vikes
For a split second, I remembered something she had told me before. It had happened during the time that she and Eleanor were getting fitted for their dresses at the shop and I had been waiting for them outside.
“She asked about our first date,” Alexa said randomly as we sipped our coffee.
“What?”
She rolled her eyes and shrugged her small shoulders lightly. “Elle. She asked about our first date while she helped me into one of the gowns. She wondered what you were capable of, so I made something up. I just wanted to tell you about it before it randomly came up and took you by surprise.”
I looked at her and chuckled slightly, downing half of my coffee. “So, what was our first date like?”
Alexa looked down at her drink as she began to recount our made-up first date. “You built a fort in the balcony of your penthouse and watched a movie with me. We had fast food burgers and that was just it.”
“But that’s not fancy,” I said, my eyebrows furrowed, as I stared at her.
She looked up at me and met my gaze and the corner of her lips were turned in a soft smile. “It doesn’t matter. I’m not one for extravagance. It’s the kind of date I would have preferred.”
I blinked at the memory and then hastily stood up, almost knocking the waffles out of the plate. A brilliant idea had just come to me. Finishing the remaining waffles on my plate, I rushed to get ready. Alexa’s flight wasn’t until three in the afternoon and I had enough time to prepare a fort. We could have burgers for dinner. But just as I was about to get dressed, a thought stopped me.
I didn’t have the right venue.
With Julian around, that meant I wouldn’t have the kind of privacy that I wanted in the penthouse. He liked throwing random parties and would only inform me about it at the last minute; and if it wasn’t for 24-hour diners and cafes, I would be stuck sulking in my room while people I didn’t know partied downstairs. Then there was the fact that Julian used every area of the penthouse when he was too much into having fun and the last thing that I needed was him walking in on what I was planning to do with Alexa.
Her apartment.
There was a rooftop in her apartment and she told me that it was barely used by the people in the building. It looked pretty decent but everyone in her building was always too busy to be in that area most of the time. I could use it just for tonight.
I grabbed a gym bag from my closet and stuffed it with three blankets and then I grabbed the pillows in my room and rushed downstairs. Julian was nowhere to be seen in the kitchen, but I could hear faint moaning coming from the laundry room, and I couldn’t help but roll my eyes. At least he had the decency to let the girl finish her breakfast, judging from the plates on the table. I didn’t bother calling out to him but left a note and taped it to the fridge.
I used my car to get to Alexa’s apartment and parked it at the back. Before anything, I asked the landlord if he would allow me to use the rooftop for what I had planned; and he let me, as long as I promised to clean up right after. After eating a Subway for lunch, I began to create the fort that Alexa had told me about. It was a good thing that the rooftop in her building had poles at the side that I could use to create the base of the fort. At around 4PM, I was done with everything and I taped a note on the door of her room and went to buy the best grilled burgers you could find in Irving. I got back before 5PM.
At 6, she finally came back.
“Everett?”
I crawled out of the fort and sucked in a breath at the sight of Alexa. She was only in skinny jeans and a white hoodie that had PEACE printed in bold, red letters in the center of it. Her red hair cascaded down her back and her glasses framed her eyes. I swallowed, thinking of how I had removed her glasses, gently, before kissing her plump lips.
Now’s not the time for that memory, Everett.
“Hi,” I said, raising a hand timidly.
She cocked her head to the side, eyes narrowed slightly. “What’s all this?”
I scratched the back of my neck and then stuffed my hands in my pockets, shrugging. “You told Eleanor that this was what our first date was like. We’re having a rehearsal dinner on Saturday for their wedding, and I just wanted to do this so that it wouldn’t have to be a lie. At least, it would be something that you wouldn’t have to lie about again.”
She opened her mouth to speak but nothing came out, making her look like a gaping fish. It suddenly occurred to me why I’d rendered her speechless, with what I had said.
I meant that I had something to base it off of. They expected me to know what they meant, Everett. I couldn’t lie.
Why lie?
Why lie?
I tilted my head to the side, watching her as her face transformed into many expressions before her mouth finally settled in a grim line. “Everett, what’s with all of this?”
I wanted to repeat the same two words to her again but refrained from doing so, seeing how it had affected her before. So, I merely shrugged and then tilted my head towards the fort. “Our first date. So, it won’t be fake anymore. C’mon. I have a copy of that anime movie you told me you liked. Your Name, that’s the title, right?”
Alexa crawled after me and then looked around the big fort that I had made. We were basked in the sunset’s soft orange glow and she looked radiant under it. I booted up my laptop and started the movie and Alexa and I settled into a comfortable position. I grabbed the burgers at the side and handed it to her.
“What’s this?”
I grinned. “Best burgers you can find in Irving. Well, the outskirts of Irving if you want to be specific. It’s an Ebi burger. You’re going to love it.”
As Alexa ate the burger and watched the movie, all I was doing was watching her. The movie seemed good but watching her so engrossed warmed my heart. This was what I’d always liked about Alexa, how the simplicity of everything enthused her. It was her contentment over the little things and the way she was always so thrilled about them that made me like her more.
She was into conspiracy theories and anime. She was willing to talk and argue about comic book villains and heroes. And at the same time, Alexa had a brilliant mind inside that beautiful face of hers. She could sprout scientific facts and counter any statement I made and correct me in a way that no one had ever done before.
It was like she was two people rolled into one. She was smart, engaging and witty but at the same time, she was the most random person that I’d ever met, that liked things you could never expect. Sometimes I wondered what would have happened if I’d met her earlier on. If I had met her when I was in high school, a freshman who stuttered in front of girls and was bullied because I was the exact opposite of Leo. Would she even have talked to me?
“Keep staring at me like that, Hudson, and I might just melt.”
My head fell off of its resting position on my hand and Alexa snorted, laughing at me. “I wasn’t staring!”
“Oh please, I could feel your gaze stripping me naked.”
As the last word rolled of her lips, her eyes visibly darkened and she turned away. I swallowed, the memory of her bare body flashing in my mind. “I wouldn’t mind.”
I could see my words had affected Alexa; and she reached for the laptop and hit the spacebar, pausing the movie. She turned to me and her eyes were unreadable which was surprising because Alexa always seemed like an open book to me now, after getting to know her.
“Everett…”
It was the way she spoke my name, as if each syllable was meant to roll off her tongue, coated with sugar and warmth. Whatever coldness I had felt from the cool January breeze was embraced in a warmth as I slowly leaned towards Alexa, wanting more of it. I scooted closer and reached a hand out to her, snaking my hand on her neck and then gently rubbing her jaw.
“Everett, I-,”
And I kissed her because I couldn’t stop myself. And suddenly it was as if the brilliant sunset glow had wrapped itself around me. Then as if somebody had switched something on inside of me- the heat of des
ire took over- and I pushed Alexa down and her body hit the pillows that I’d spread all over. She let out a small gasp at the sudden change of pace.
I clenched my jaw and stared at the sight of her, remembering the feel of her hot skin against my palm. I leaned down, kissing the side of her jaw feverishly and with purpose and then began to move down, my hands snaking inside her hoodie…
“Everett, stop.”
Suddenly it was as if I had been doused with ice cold water. It was as if I had been brought out of the rabbit hole that I had fell down in, back to the reality of the situation. We were in a fake relationship meant to fool my family. We were supposed to merely be colleagues.
“Alexa,” I said, blinking rapidly and then shaking my head. “I…I’m sorry. I wasn’t sure what I was thinking.”
But I was certain of what was in my mind. I had never wanted anyone more than I wanted Alexa in that moment- even right now- and I thought that she wanted the same thing, in the same way that she had wanted me that night. At that time, the feeling was mutual. I thought it would remain that way…
God, what was I thinking?
Alexa shook her head and then smiled faintly; her lips still red from all the kissing. “Don’t apologize, Everett. It seems like the two of us have the habit of getting ahead of ourselves.”
My eyebrows furrowed. “If you’re upset because I left you the morning after…”
Again, she shook her head. “Don’t paint me as petty, Ev. I’m not upset over that. The institute needed you and my flight left the same time that you came back. It was just coincidence.”
“But you never replied to my texts.”
“I told you that I wanted to spend time with my family, because I had been away from them for a while.”
I let out a shaky breath, hesitating to ask the question that I wanted to. “Why did you ask me to stop?”
Alexa’s eyes softened as she looked at me. “Because what happened between us that night was a one-time thing. We weren’t drunk so we can’t use that as an excuse, but we know better, Everett. You value your career above all, which is why you’ve been single for so long, and I work hard for my family. We have our priorities, Everett, and it’s not this.”
It was as if something had pierced my heart and I couldn’t explain the unbelievable sting I felt. All I could do was simply stare at her and feel as if I was losing the best thing that had ever happened to me. She looked back at me with her eyes, her red hair glowing from the faint orange glow of the descending sun and nothing had ever looked as radiant as her in this moment. All I wanted to do was run my hand through her hair and pull her close, wrap my arms around her and finish the movie that we had been watching, while cuddling.
But the truth of the matter was simple, and it rang true in her words: we had our priorities and it wasn’t love.
13
Alexa
Something changed between Everett and me and I knew it was because I had set the line and made it clear to him that this wasn’t going to lead into anything more. Still, it was different to have it out in the open and to have a silent agreement. But it felt so weird, I could feel Everett holding back, I was holding back.
We stopped meeting in the morning before work. Everett had started coming in early, and he had stopped bringing me coffee during breaks. We still talked but it was mostly about work, and if he needed any help with his research. We had a big case come in the other day that had required the two of us to work the crime scene together. We both worked silently side by side, exchanging notes in office after we got back.
We’d kept things strictly professional since that night, and I couldn’t help but feel upset about it; although I had been the one who had instigated it. There was a ‘what if’ that kept nagging me. What if I had never said anything about it? Would we have turned into friends with benefits?
Wouldn’t that have made things even more awkward than it already was?
“Alexa.”
His voice was stiff and gruff when he said my name and I looked up, meeting his gaze across the room. “Yeah?”
“The rehearsal dinner’s tonight. Leo and Eleanor have invited a large crowd though, so they have reserved a fancy restaurant. I’m not sure if Elle told you, but you’re supposed to wear something nice for the dinner.”
I swallowed. I didn’t have anything nice in my closet. The first time that Everett met me, I had been in shorts and a cropped blouse. Besides my office clothes, I only had shirts, sweats, jeans and hoodies in my closet, and none of them would be acceptable for this fancy rehearsal dinner. Eleanor had texted me about it last night, and I most certainly couldn’t go wearing the clothes that I used for work, because I would definitely stand out.
Damn it.
“Alexa?” There was a cautious tone in Everett’s voice when he called my name again, and I looked at him for the second time. Since that night, I tried my best not to look at him that much anymore. I watched as he stood up from his seat and then grabbed something from underneath his desk, strode over to where my desk was and presented it to me.
It was two boxes and Everett gently opened the top and my eyes widened at the sight of the emerald green fabric that lay inside. “Eleanor mentioned that you had tried this during the fitting and how lovely you looked in it. I thought she was giving me a hint to buy it for you. I was meant to give it to you before you left for the holidays.”
I blinked, unsure of what I was meant to say. But I remembered this dress and I clearly remembered how much it cost. “Everett…this is too much. I can’t…you should…you should take it back to the shop and get yourself something. I can’t take this.”
But Everett pushed the box closer to me and shrugged. “I’ve been in your apartment a few times and I’ve seen your closet a handful of times too, Lexi. Other than your work clothes, you don’t have anything to wear for tonight. Besides, I got it for you as a Christmas present. There’s no one else to give it to.”
His reply rendered me speechless and I stared at the rich emerald green dress in front of me.
“No matter what you say, that dress was meant to be given to you. Please just take it.”
I looked up and met his gaze and there was a familiar glint in them that tugged at my heart. Despite the line that had been firmly drawn between us, my heart wanted what it still did and it wanted him. My fists clenched tightly as I slowly reached for the lid of the box and placed it back firmly, letting out a shaky breath. “Thank you.”
My tone was clipped as I thanked him and Everett lingered in front of me for a moment before he finally scurried back to his seat and resumed his work in silence. I couldn’t help but watch him for a fleeting second, watching how his eyebrows furrowed in concentration. His lips pursed each time he had to re-read something just so he could understand it better. Everett always had to make sure that he was certain of everything before making any conclusion.
Which was why I always wondered about how tenacious he had been with that kiss before I had asked him to stop, how his face faltered visibly. But what had been going on between us had only two possible outcomes. We could have become fuck buddies wherein neither of us were certain what would happen if one of us pushed to have a relationship with someone else. Or we could have had a relationship with each other.
I couldn’t help but wonder what kind of conclusion he had made…
“Everett?” It was when I called him and he looked at me that I immediately regretted my decision. I didn’t want to ask that question. I didn’t want to start that topic all over again because it was a door that I had firmly shut close. Tugging at my ear, I flashed him what I hoped look like a calm smile. “Are you picking me up tonight?”
He nodded without saying a word and I sighed, leaning back on my chair. It felt awkward to be like this with him, it felt as if we were strangers. I wanted to talk to him about some new weird conspiracy theories that I had found, and the latest anime series that I had been binge-watching on Netflix and beg him to watch it too. I wanted him to
laugh at me and shake his head, tell me that it was childish to watch cartoons.
But we finished the rest of the day without uttering another word to each other. Before we went our separate ways, Everett reminded me again about the dinner, and then he headed off in the direction of his penthouse.
I went home and took a bath and allowed myself to relax, knowing how tensed I would be during the entire ordeal. At least this time, I would get to spend time with Everett all night.
But then, wouldn’t having him around make things more awkward, since both of us weren’t even talking?
With a sigh, I dried myself off with a towel and then stared at my reflection in the mirror, after wiping the mist off the glass with my hand. Tired eyes stared back at me, showing me the defeat that I had felt ever since I had stepped off the plane. A part of me wanted things to be different, to stay in the magic that those ‘moments’ brought us.
This would all end soon. I just had to pull it through the rehearsal dinner and the wedding and Everett and I would be nothing more than colleagues again. He’d be the one to tell his family about our fake breakup and then that would be it. No more pretending. No more of these feelings building up inside.
But you’ve had those feelings build up even before the whole fake relationship happened. You wanted him the first time you met him.
I let out a shaky breath and ignored that thought, and gradually got ready for the dinner, before Everett arrived to pick me up. I applied makeup first and then slipped into the smooth fabric of the dress that he had gotten for me, staring at my reflection in the full-length mirror in the corner of my room. I admired how the dress fit me perfectly, hugging my curves, but I had a slight problem with the zipper at the back, unable to reach it myself.
I began to tie my hair in a messy bun, letting loose strands frame my face. Just as I was about to zip the dress up, someone knocked on my door and I rushed to open it, my eyes widening at the sight of Everett in a fitted deep green suit. I swallowed as he stepped inside the apartment, looking incredibly dashing.