Braden shrugged. “Don’t you ever think about it? Whether you and Calder could have kids, I mean? If you stopped giving him the sterility drugs, how long do you think it would take you to get pregnant?”
Katarina stared at him in surprise, and Calder watched, gaze sharp. “I’ve wondered,” he rumbled.
Katarina swung to him. “You have?”
“I’d be a rotten father, but yeah, I’ve wondered if it would be possible.”
“Dangerous,” Braden said.
But Braden’s imagination took hold. He pictured Elisa coming to him, smiling a secret smile and telling him she was going to have a child. His child. She’d likely have it moved to an incubator as all highborn women did, but even so . . .
“Dangerous,” Calder agreed. “But maybe . . .”
He broke off before he finished. Maybe when Rees figured out a way to get them off planet, and they found a place to settle and live, wherever that might be, they could have families. What a wild and wonderful idea.
“I don’t know whether it’s possible,” Katarina said quickly. “I’ve thought about it too, but I don’t know what all they did to you originally. I hate to say this, but it might not be possible, even if I never shot you with a sterility drug again.”
Braden closed his mouth. Justin had proved it was possible, but Justin’s secret was Justin’s.
“Is that what you want, Braden?” Katarina asked. “For me to leave out the sterility part?” She touched the tube that contained the Shareem drug cocktail.
Yes, Braden wanted that, but no, he couldn’t let Katarina do it. She was right—Shareem might not carry viable seed anyway. Justin might be an aberration, or maybe the researchers in Justin’s section had done a few secret experiments.
Plus, Braden couldn’t impose what he wanted on Elisa. Elisa wasn’t his. She was having fun exploring a side of herself she’d not been able to before, using Braden to do it. She could have chosen any Shareem to fulfill this role—Braden just happened to be the one who’d walked into her library.
When Elisa finished learning about her sexuality, she’d say good-bye to Braden, put her celibate’s robes back on and return to the Way of the Sky. Finished with Shareem and that part of her life. She probably wouldn’t even send him a Yule card.
“No,” Braden said. “Just shoot them all in me. Don’t leave anything out.”
Katarina exchanged another glance with Calder. Braden knew the two of them would be talking about him as soon as he left.
“Come on,” Braden said. “Let’s get this over with.”
He stepped under the scanner and waited impatiently while Katarina fiddled with the settings. A full scan, inside and out, and he was done. Katarina picked up the inoculation tube.
Braden closed his eyes and held out his arm. “Don’t bother to tell me it won’t hurt.”
“All right,” Katarina said. “I won’t bother to tell you.”
It didn’t hurt. Katarina had the touch. Even so, Braden flinched when it all went into him, then he sat down, dizzy and angry and very fucking tired of being Shareem.
“Do me a favor,” Braden said as he dressed again. “Call Elisa n’Arell for me. Tell her to come to my apartment and how to get there.” He stood up, grabbed his sun-blocking robes and breath mask while Katarina did the surprised thing again.
“All right,” she said.
Braden swept out without explaining and went home.
*** *** ***
Elisa decided to take the train down to Pas City in answer to Braden’s summons. She wore a plain tunic and leggings under unadorned sun-blocking robes so as not to reveal her highborn status.
She followed the directions Katarina d’Arnal gave her to d’Enela Street. No awnings shaded this street of dingy apartment blocks, which meant that no sandstorm shielding was in place either. That made her a little nervous, but she reasoned that people had survived down here a long time without it.
Elisa easily found the shop that sold exotic fruit halfway along the street. The elderly woman on the bench outside the shop gave Elisa a smile as she approached.
“He’s in there, love,” the woman said, pointing.
Across from the fruit shop was a rusting door pitted by sand. No one had bothered to clean or paint the door, but why should they? Elisa reasoned. The sand would just destroy it again.
Elisa approached the apartment, but before she could touch the buzzer, the door slammed open to let out a Shareem she’d never seen before. He was as tall as Braden but had dark brown hair and blue eyes that held sadness. His mouth curved to a grin, though, when he saw her.
“I’m clearing out,” he said. “Don’t want to break the rules.”
He swept past her, winked at the fruit seller, and strode away. The door remained open, and Elisa tentatively walked inside.
In contrast to the battered exterior, the interior of the apartment was clean, freshly painted, and neat. The front room had chairs, a couch, a terminal and digital feed monitor, and a small alcove kitchen in the back. To either side of the kitchen were closed doors that likely led to bedrooms.
That was it. The apartment had no extra rooms for displaying artwork or for meditation. There was no library, no garden room. Basic living, a far cry from the luxury of the Serestine Quarter, even from the “simplicity” of Elisa’s house, which was considered modest.
A bedroom door opened as the apartment’s main door closed behind Elisa. Braden leaned on the open doorframe, arms folded, just looking at her.
No wicked smile, no sexy words in his bad-boy voice.
“Thank you for coming,” he said.
His tone made Elisa stop and her heart beat faster. “Katarina said it was important. She made me worry.”
Braden’s face softened a little. “I didn’t want to call you in case the channel was monitored. The fewer people who know you’re down here the better.”
“I understand.” Her worry increased.
“It’s been nice being with you, Elisa,” Braden said. “But I think we’re done. You can put your celibate’s robes back on, or go to your center for cleansing, or whatever it is you have to do. You don’t owe me anything. It’s on the house.”
Chapter Fourteen
Braden hadn’t realized how hard it would be to say the words. His mouth didn’t want to work, and his chest hurt with every breath.
But the new rules handed down today meant patrollers would be watching Shareem more closely than ever. It meant being with Elisa would get tougher, especially for her.
Patrollers monitoring Shareem meant Rees’ project might be compromised at any time, and the Shareem involved would be terminated. Braden knew this and accepted it.
But what would happen to Elisa? Her connection with Braden might be discovered —probably already had been. Would her celibate status protect her from arrest, or would the fact that she’d decided to try out Shareem negate that protection? At best, Elisa might lose her job or her place in the Way of the Sky, or be exiled from Bor Narga. At worst, she’d be terminated with the Shareem for helping them.
Elisa didn’t deserve to have her life ruined, maybe even endangered, because she’d decided to have a little fun with Braden.
She’d be surprised, even angry at Braden’s dismissal, but she’d get over it. She’d return to her meditation center and be reinstated as a celibate, go back to working at her library, and move on with her life.
Without Braden.
As it should be.
“Done?” Elisa repeated in a stunned voice. “But my dispensation is for a month.”
Braden shrugged, putting every bit of indifference he could into the gesture. “Doesn’t matter. You already got what you came for. It was fun.”
The look in her eyes wasn’t the indignation or wounded pride he’d expected. It was bewilderment. “You don’t want to be with me?”
The hurt in her voice nearly undid him. Yes, I want to be with you, nonstop and forever. Always, my librarian.
“No,” he m
ade himself say.
He didn’t imagine the tears that sprang to Elisa’s eyes either. He wanted to cross the room, fold her into his arms, kiss her, hold her, tell her he hadn’t meant it.
What the hell is wrong with me?
Braden and his ladies had fun for a night, maybe for a few days, then it was over. The ladies went back to their own lives, Braden went back to his, everyone involved enjoying memories of the encounter.
He’d never wanted to hold and comfort a woman when it was time to go. And Braden’s ladies had never started to cry at the thought of not seeing him again.
Hell.
Elisa wiped her eyes. “What happened?”
Braden shrugged again. “Nothing happened. It’s over, baby.”
“I heard about the new regulations this morning. Is that what’s wrong? You don’t want to get into trouble over seeing me?”
“Partly,” Braden said. “But you don’t want to get caught up in Shareem problems, sweetie. Trust me.”
Her gaze turned sharp. “There’s more to this than what you’re saying, isn’t there?”
“Nope, that’s it. I figured we’ve pretty much done everything you wanted to do, so why keep it up? You don’t need to be embarrassed by overzealous patrollers. And you know they love being overzealous.”
Elisa watched him a moment longer then calmly drew off her sun-blocking robes. “Braden, please do not bullshit me.”
Braden hid his uneasiness. “Oh, so you’ve learned bad words hanging out with your Shareem?”
“I learned that Shareem cover up emotions by pretending they don’t have any. Tell me what’s the matter.”
Fuck, this isn’t working.
Braden rubbed his face and lost his nonchalant pose. “Sweetheart, things are bad. There’s all kinds of shit going on. I can’t tell you most of it, but I want you out of it. I want you back up in your library all safe, not doing anything more dangerous than looking up declensions of weird words from Ariel.”
“Safe in my library while what happens to you?”
“I don’t know.”
Braden couldn’t stay away from her. He crossed the small room, took her hand, and pressed a long kiss to her palm.
“I don’t know what’s going to happen to me, love. I don’t know if anything’ll happen at all. But the thought of you being hurt by any of it, Elisa, is killing me.”
Elisa hated the emotions running through her—anger, worry, pain, and knowledge that she didn’t want to leave Braden for any reason. The emotions tangled and beat at her, hurting her and scaring her.
“Maybe I can help,” she said.
Braden pressed another kiss to her palm, his lips so warm, so loving. “No, I want you out of it. Please, sweetheart. Go back up to your hill and stay there.”
Elisa gently withdrew from Braden’s grasp. She drew a breath and launched into hesitant speech, hoping she’d find the words along the way.
“You don’t understand the full extent of what the vows of celibacy mean,” she said. “It’s more than me declaring I won’t have sex or conceive a child. It bestows amazing privileges. Even my taking a leave of absence to be with you won’t change that. My order considers what I’m doing part of testing and training for my calling. Being a registered celibate means that I can get away with a lot, because a vowed celibate is the most trusted of women. By implication, whatever I choose is right. So tell me what I can do to help you.”
As she spoke Braden simply watched Elisa with his Shareem-blue eyes. He was so strong, his hands holding heat that warmed her. And yet, she understood that Braden was more vulnerable than she ever would be.
“No, Elisa. Go away and be well.”
The stubborn glint in his eyes wasn’t going to fade. Elisa clasped his hand again in a tight grip.
“Not yet,” she said. “We haven’t finished yet.”
“Sweetheart—”
“Not yet, Braden. There are still things I want to do. Things you wanted to teach me.”
She felt the bump in his pulse, his skin start to heat. Elisa rubbed her thumbs over the backs of his hands. “I wore the plug to work,” she said softly.
The blue in Braden’s eyes began to spread. “Yeah?”
“It felt good. It made me think of you.”
“You are so asking for trouble, sweetheart.”
“I know.”
“Hell.” Braden slid one arm around her, pulled her against him. She felt his heart hammering in his chest, his body temperature high. “Don’t do this to me.”
She kissed his chin, his whiskers like sandpaper. “Why not?”
His grip tightened. “I’ll show you why not.” Braden kissed her, mouth opening hers, teeth scraping her lips. Hot, wet, wicked.
He ended the kiss too soon and pulled her not to the bedroom but his bathroom. The chamber was just large enough to contain a dispose hole, a sink and a standup shower. The shower took up one entire wall and drained right into the tiled floor.
The lights came on when they entered the bathroom, but Braden left the door open.
“Strip,” he said.
Elisa glanced nervously out the open door and Braden stepped in front of it. “Yes, Justin might come back. Or not. What if he sees you?”
“I’ll be embarrassed.”
“No, you won’t. You’ll be turned on.” Braden’s blue eyes heated. “You’ll like him watching me pleasure you, him listening to you moan as you come.”
Elisa was prepared to let Braden do what he wanted—he always made her feel good—but to have another man watch? That was crazy.
And yet, imagining the tall man she’d just passed returning, leaning on the doorframe as Braden was, regarding her with quiet blue eyes while Braden pleasured her, made her warm with pleasure.
“Strip for me now, Elisa. I’m getting impatient.”
Elisa quickly tugged off her tunic, boots, and leggings. Her undertunic followed. Braden gathered up the clothes, tossed them onto the couch in the living room, and returned.
Elisa cupped her breasts in her hands, fingers rolling the nipples between them. The tingling sensation made her draw a sharp breath.
“Nice.” Braden stepped past her to the shower. Still clothed, he keyed on the water, then rotated a knob that sent the water out through a handheld nozzle. “Come here.”
Elisa closed the small distance to him. Braden gave her another hot, passionate kiss then gently guided her under the water. Warm liquid spilled over her, making her shudder in delight.
“I want to wash you, so you’ll be clean for what I want to do,” Braden said. “I don’t want you ever to worry.”
Elisa wasn’t worried. “What do you want to do?”
“Face the wall.”
Elisa put her hands on the tile and leaned into the cool wall. Braden sprayed the warm water over her back.
“Spread your legs,” he said.
Elisa moved her feet apart. She heard Braden getting rid of his clothes and then the water was back. He stood behind her, his body heat almost as warm as the water.
He moved the nozzle down her spine, letting water spill into her buttocks. Then he ran the water up over her smoothly shaved pussy, parting her opening with his fingers to let the water run right into her vagina.
“The water is clean,” he said. “It won’t hurt you.”
Elisa nodded. The stream softly entering her pussy felt good though not as frenzied good as when Braden touched her. But it did feel good. She moved, enjoying it.
Braden took the water away, to her disappointment, but then splashed it over her thighs and buttocks. He rested his hand on her butt cheeks then spread them, one finger touching her anus. Elisa tightened in reaction.
“Relax,” Braden said. “This will feel good. I promise.”
His fingers smoothing across her made Elisa unclench her muscles. She leaned a little forward, so that her butt moved from the wall. She wished he’d rinse her with the water again. It had felt nice, soothing.
Braden moved
the nozzle between her buttocks and to her surprise, she felt the tip touch her anus. She sucked in a breath. “No.”
“Yes, love. It won’t hurt.”
Her gasp of protest cut off when warm water flooded her. She turned her head, gripped by wild sensation.
Braden didn’t thrust the nozzle inside her, but the water warmed her and opened her. It was beautiful. She felt cleansed and happy, invaded yet comforted. The water ran down her legs, the warm sensation heady. She felt wicked and naughty, bold and bad.
More beautiful was the feel of the soft plug that went in her ass once she was clean, the water gone, this plug slightly larger than the last.
Elisa squeezed it. She’d never have thought she’d like anything there, but it gave her a splendid and excited feeling. This was taboo, forbidden.
“I like that you’re getting used to this,” Braden said. “I want you to feel good, never hurt. Trust me, love?”
Elisa nodded. She was learning that when it came to sexual play, Braden could be trusted without doubt. He knew how to take her as far as she could go and then ease back and let her rest.
And then Braden would take her to the next step.
Today would be the next step. Braden moved behind her, he as naked as she was, his big body warming her back.
He lifted her hair and pinned it out of the way then kissed the back of her neck. He touched kisses down her neck and spine, breath heating her, lips sliding on her slick skin. Down each vertebra to the small of her back. She felt his tongue on her buttocks, licking and tasting, tongue sweeping around the plug.
What would it be like to have his tongue inside her? Wet and hot, plunging in and out of her. She imagined it—transposing the feel of the plug to what Braden’s tongue would be like. Deep, penetrating, but warm, human, and him.
Elisa groaned. Braden’s hand stole to her clit at exactly the right moment, rubbing and stroking while he kissed her. Black waves of passion lifted her, weakening her knees, and she started to collapse.
Braden held her, his strong arms keeping her from falling while he stroked and rubbed, kissed and nipped. His cock was firm against her backside, the tip of it moving on the butt plug.
“Please, Braden.”
Tales of the Shareem, Volume 2 Page 29