by Vivian Arend
This wasn’t going to be as easy as she’d first imagined.
After dinner Matt tugged her aside. “You want to go to the children’s summer theater performance at the community hall this Wednesday?”
She hesitated, panic flooding her. Not Matt too. Sweet, considerate, usually insightful Matt. He excited her about as much as a bouquet of dandelions. The expression on her face must have shown her fear because he chuckled and quickly reassured her. “I don’t mean with me, Jaxi. Hell if you need that kind of complication in your life right now. Not to mention you know Helen would have my balls if I stepped out on her.”
Her muscles unclenched slowly as he patted her shoulder. A pat from him felt proper, caring and supportive. It wasn’t a cop-out like the treatment from Blake the other day. If any of the Colemans was a big-brother figure to her, it would be Matt.
“I’m already going to the hall on Wednesday,” Jaxi said. “I promised to seat people and sell tickets for the raffle. Plus do cleanup after.”
“Maybe you should have someone help you. I hear Blake is free on Wednesday, and I bet he would give you a hand if you asked.”
Jaxi snorted. “You here on his behalf? I don’t think your brothers are too shy to ask me if they want to do something with me, Matt. They’re grown men, they’ve got tongues in their heads.”
He stopped and stared out the window for a minute before he answered. “Well…yeah, we might be all grown, but that doesn’t mean we can all see what’s right in front of our noses. Some of us don’t make the best decisions for ourselves because we try too hard to do what we think is proper for everyone else.”
Cryptic, even for Matt. Jaxi leaned a hip on the counter. “Okay…”
He smiled before reaching to tweak her nose. “As for not being shy, you never know. Sometimes it’s the biggest and seemingly boldest animals you’ve got to gentle along real slow and easy to get the right results. Too fast and they spook.”
Her face flushed with heat, and she busied herself wiping the sink to avoid looking him in the eye. Oh lordy, did Matt know what had happened last night? How shockingly she’d behaved?
“If you have a little extra time this afternoon, you can switch your stuff into the far basement bedroom. Blake told me this morning he’s taking the guest cabin so you can have a real bed, and we’ll be able to use the office again.”
Jaxi’s heart choked off her throat. What had she done?
Matt watched her walk away, her expression of dismay showing all too clearly something had gone down sideways.
He stepped outside and sucked in a deep breath of the late August air. He didn’t know if he should be happy that he wasn’t the only one who had a setback last night or not. He didn’t wish Jaxi and Blake anything but the best, even if it pissed him off royally that Blake had someone willing to show at every turn how much she admired him and the bastard kept pushing her away. Whereas he had someone he loved who simply wouldn’t admit it back.
And then last night…
Fuck.
He drove to the north field to fix a pump that was acting up. Diving into a frustrated tussle with rusted pipes and broken water lines was preferable to the mental wrestling he’d been doing for the past twelve-plus hours.
A line of dust headed his direction, his cousin’s shiny new Toyota drawing closer. Matt wiped the sweat from his brow with his shirtsleeve and waited for Gabe to park on the far side of the gate.
“Uncle Mike called. Said you’ve got a seized pump?”
“She’s dead.”
Gabe handed forward the replacement part Matt needed. “Just so happens I’m doing the same sorry task as you today. Want to work together? It’ll save time.”
Matt nodded. “I’d enjoy the company.”
They worked easily together, slipping the new part into place and adjusting the attachments. Matt twisted the tap, and water filled the trough. “This one’s done.”
“You want to drop your truck at the main gate and use mine to work the fields?” Gabe asked. “I’ve got extra pumps with me, and tools.”
Matt followed his cousin back across the field. The whole time his dilemma with Helen repeated like a scratched CD. He jumped into the cab with Gabe, momentarily distracted by the new vehicle. “Damn nice in here. You win the lottery or something?”
Gabe shook his head. “Just don’t have to spend my money on keeping a woman happy, like you.”
Fuckdamnshit. “Solo as always, hey, Gabe?”
“Damn right. I know what to do with a woman, but it’s gonna take more than a sweet fuck to make me want to give up my freedom like you Six Pack boys seem bound and determined to do. I hear Blake’s being pursued by Jaxi again. When he gonna give up running and lay down in defeat?”
“Hell if I know.”
“Yeah, then there’s Daniel. He still sweet on Sierra?”
Matt held tight to the roll bars as Gabe cleared the ditch en route to the next pump. “She ditched him a couple of months back. In the spring.”
Gabe swore. “For serious? I hadn’t heard that. Thought she was aiming to get him to the altar before the year was out.”
Another woman Matt didn’t understand. “Remember last winter when the mumps went through town? Daniel never had them as a kid and caught them.”
“I remember.”
“She got worried about him not being ‘right’ afterward and told him to get checked at the doctor.”
Gabe snorted. “Not being right? What the hell was she worried about?”
Matt sighed. “Turns out Daniel’s shooting blanks, and Sierra wanted a big family. She dumped him right after the results came in.”
“That’s fucked up. I thought that was usually the guy’s deal breaker, not the girl’s.” Gabe shook his head, pausing the truck by another gate and waiting for Matt to hop out to open it. “Damn incredible the things some women get into their brain as to being important.”
The words impacted harder than his cousin intended. Matt popped the wire at the top of the gate and dragged open the fence, closing it after the truck and pacing slowly forward to rejoin Gabe. It was a perfect opportunity to approach a very awkward subject.
He sat heavily, staring at his cousin for a minute. Gabe’s side of the family was the blondest of all the Colemans. The girls in town were always raving about their angelic good looks. Yet, he knew without a doubt that Gabe had no interest in stealing his girl.
Matt dithered for another moment. There really was no way of saying this but straight out. “You ever done a threesome?”
Gabe hit the brakes a little too fast, jolting them both in their seats next to the pump. He frowned at Matt. “Where the fuck did that come from?”
“You mentioned the incredible things that women get into their heads. You won’t believe the one Helen dropped on me last night.”
“Threesomes? You guys got to talking about that?” Gabe undid his seat belt and whistled softly. “Hell, I figured with your family history you’d already been fooling around left, right and center with that woman.”
Matt banged his fist on the dash before cracking open the door and grabbing their supplies. “Don’t look at me for the freaky sex habits. Far as I know, it’s only Travis and the twins who get off on having more than one person in their bed.”
Gabe frowned. “Then if you’re not interested in trying it, why—?”
“Because she asked me. Told me she was curious. We ain’t…” Matt’s throat choked up tight. Damn, it was nearly impossible to have this talk. What was it going to be like if he actually got up the nerve to let someone into the bedroom with them? “We ain’t never been with anyone else, neither of us.”
His cousin snorted. “Okay, sorry. Not funny when you’re the one being jerked around, but from where I sit, this conversation is a ripper. You’re telling me you’ve only had sex with Helen? Ever?”
Matt nodded.
“Shit.”
They worked in silence for a couple of minutes, moving automatically to clear a
nd repair the waterline. Matt rinsed off his hands and dried them on his shirt before standing and forcing the words out. “So, would you be interested?”
“For a piece of Helen?” Gabe nodded slowly. “Well, there’s the instant reaction of ‘hell yeah’, but I’ll be honest. The only way I’m willing to do this is if you’re sure you’re not going to want to kick my ass around for the next twenty years. You sure you want someone in her bed that you’ll see forever?”
Matt had thought this through a million different directions. “Having a stranger touch her would be worse. From the grapevine gossip I figure you know how to treat a woman.”
Gabe leaned back on his heels, his hat cocked to the side. His ever-present teasing grin had disappeared. “It must have rocked you hard to have her ask you for this.”
“You have no idea.”
“I don’t, so let’s say we make this conditional. You two think on it some more. If after you’ve had a chance to reconsider, she’s still keen, then let me know.” Gabe shuffled upright. “And Matt?”
“Yeah?”
“If this goes down? I promise I’ll treat her good. And I’ll never mention this conversation or what follows again, no matter what. Swear.”
Relief streaked through Matt. “Appreciate it. All of it.”
For the first time since Helen had made her request, he thought there might be something to look forward to. Making her fantasy come to life? Hell, he’d always thought he’d do anything for her.
Seems he was going to get the chance to prove it.
Chapter Eight
When Blake asked Jaxi if he could help her at the play, she wondered if Matt had manoeuvred the request. Still, by the time Wednesday rolled around and the performance was over, most of the awkwardness she’d caused by her boldness in the shower had faded. She wasn’t any closer to getting Blake to acknowledge he wanted her, but at least they were talking again.
They cleaned together, brooms in hand, sweeping the nearly empty hall. She was right in the middle of planning her next step, wondering what words to use to follow Matt’s suggestion of “gentling the shy animal along” when Blake dropped a bombshell.
“I’ve been thinking about the other day.”
Lordy, so had she.
“This Royce fellow. How old did you say he is?”
She literally tripped over her own feet and landed on her butt. Did he just ask about Royce again? He wasn’t talking about the shower at all?
The man had gone mad.
“I don’t think I told you how old he is. What the hell does Royce have to do with anything?” She scrambled to her feet and brushed off her jeans. She’d spent the evening admiring how Blake capably dealt with last-minute disasters for the theater company. Admired the way he visited with the townsfolk during the intermission, chatting and laughing with people of all ages. Admired the way he looked in his well-worn jeans, all muscle and tightly bound energy.
And now he wanted to talk about someone she knew from college? Was he crazy?
“I figured you two must have a lot in common, if you were in the same classes and all. Maybe it would be good for you to select another class or two and spend time with the guy. If he lives in the area you could call and ask him to join us for supper.” Blake swept vigorously as he spoke, dust flying everywhere.
Jaxi dropped her broom and grabbed his with two hands, stilling his erratic motion. She jerked their bodies together so she could stare up into his face easier. He avoided her eyes for a moment before turning that ghastly smile on her, the one he’d worn ever since announcing he was going to be her big brother.
“Enough, Blake. You are seriously pissing me off and I want to know what your problem is.”
He shrugged and attempted to remove the broom from between them. “I thought it might be nice, if you like the guy, for you to spend time together.”
“I don’t want Royce.” Jaxi shook the handle violently before releasing the wooden shaft with a snap. She stepped back to glare at him, fists resting on her hips. “I want… Oh, damn it, do I have to spell it out for you? I thought it was pretty clear what I wanted the other night in the shower. I want you.”
He shook his head and resumed sweeping, giving her no more attention than if she was one of the cats underfoot in the barn at milking time. “I’m too old for you. Heck, it’s like I’m your big brother and—”
Jaxi ripped the broom from his hands and hurled it across the room. He was being a bloody jackass. It was a damn good thing she loved him because otherwise she’d be tempted to kill him.
“You are not my brother, by any stretch of the imagination. The things I want us to do, Blake, they are not brother/sister activities.” She took a slow breath and calmed her temper. At least they were talking, even if Blake seemed to be speaking some weird foreign dialect and she didn’t have a translation book.
Slow down. Go gently.
She had to get him to acknowledge what he wanted, not what he thought needed to happen. Get him to drop the damn sense of responsibility for long enough to see the real picture. Jaxi snuck in closer, resting a hand on his crossed arms. She drew a slow finger along his skin, speaking quietly. “You ever dream about me, Blake? You ever think about taking me in your arms and kissing me? Touching me? I dream about you all the time. You, in my bed, making me feel things I’ve never felt before.”
“Stop it, that’s not going to happen.” Blake jerked away from her, and Jaxi’s stomach lurched. He didn’t even want her to touch him. “You’re an attractive woman—”
Red flashed before her eyes. He was the most frustrating man she’d ever met. She followed him closely, crowding against his body. “Oh, now I’m a woman. Well, that’s a plus. You finally noticed I grew up. What’s the problem? I think you like me too, so why aren’t we acting on the attraction between us? What’s got you putting on the brakes when that’s got to be the last thing you really want?”
Blake grabbed her by the shoulders and manoeuvred her away from him. He paced back, his hands dragging through his hair in frustration, swear words floating on the air. When he turned toward her, his face had gone grey and drawn, as if he’d shut off his heart. His gravelly voice cut deep as he spoke.
“The issue is you’re still a little girl compared to me, and you won’t be happy with an old man for long. Do I want you? Hell, yeah, you make my body ache so hard it’s a fucking nightmare for me to wake and realize you’re not really there. But I’m too old for you, and I refuse to take advantage of the physical pull between us for a one-night stand. Stop trying to seduce me and prove you’re as grown up you claim. Find someone your own age to play with.”
She gasped as pain rippled through her belly. His words lashed her, stinging to the core. The seemingly caring tone he delivered them in made it worse. She wanted to smack him hard enough to knock off his blinders and turn this disaster of a conversation around.
Before he broke her heart.
Anger made her retaliate in a whole new direction.
“Oh, so now I’m old enough to play around, just not with you. Hmm, let’s see, who do I know that’s around my age and interested in me. Gee, two names jump to mind.”
“Jaxi…” The emotionless face before her changed instantly, disapproval and anger flashing one after the other.
“What, you don’t think your little brothers are interested in me anymore? I’m pretty sure Jesse said he was, just the other day.”
He stepped toward her, forcing her to shuffle backward to stay out from underfoot. “I’ve warned them you’re off limits. The only way I want to see you around them is if you pick one and the other swears to bow out. I won’t have you messing with them both.”
Jaxi popped her eyes open wide and faked a delighted expression. “So the rumors are true, they do get involved with the same girl at the same time. Well, damn, that sounds like a bit of an adventure. Maybe that’s what I need to distract me since I can’t have what I want.”
“You stay away from my brothers,” he w
arned, his voice harsh and low.
She let out a burst of laugher, feeling hard and tight inside. “You’re not the boss of me. Maybe I can’t convince the one Coleman I want to be with me, but I bet you I sure as hell can have a little fun with a couple others.”
He loomed over her, dark and dangerous, and she wanted to have him hold her instead of dealing with this whole stupid mess. “Let’s not throw it away, Jaxi, all those years of friendship.”
Her throat tightened up, anger melting away as she fought back tears. There was no way she would cry in front of him, not now. She had to figure out a solution to stop this train wreck from continuing. “I agree we’ve had something special in the past. But don’t you see, all those years of friendship were leading to something bigger and better, and that’s what you’re choosing to give up on. You, Blake, you’re the one throwing the possibility of us away. I know what I want.”
She stood on her tiptoes and brushed a kiss on his burning hot cheek before whispering, “Let me know when you’re ready to admit what you really want. I’m getting tired of waiting for the right answer.”
Jaxi had never been keen on dramatic exits but time was of the essence to avoid bursting into tears in front of him. She slipped past his solid bulk and dashed out the fire exit.
Chapter Nine
Blake took another draw on his beer and placed the bottle down carefully before turning his attention back to the surface of the pool table. He and Leo were maintaining their own over the twins, the score sixty-seven to sixty-four. Better than the previous Friday when he’d still been out of his mind trying to understand what had happened with Jaxi in the shower the night before. Damn, his life had turned into a cheap dime-store romance gone sour.
Joel and Jesse relaxed nearby, cocky grins on their faces.
“Not bad for a tired old man,” Jesse said, twirling his cue as he waited for his turn.