by Vivian Arend
Sophie banged her free hand on her forehead as if Ivy had made the most brilliant announcement ever. “Of course. You’re completely right. Walker, would you like to join us tomorrow night to try some buffalo?”
Ivy was tempted to reach up and pinch the bridge of her nose in frustration, but luckily Walker was holding out her coat to help her put it on.
“Thank you for the invite, but I’ve got a commitment with the family tomorrow night.” Walker took Ivy by the arm and pulled her against him, edging toward the door. They backed away like they used to years ago, making a slow, steady escape before they got trapped by her parents for another half hour.
“Of course you do. But if there’s another time that will work, we’d love to have you.”
Malachi nodded eagerly as well. “Hey, I have some articles around you’d be interested in. Sophie, where did I put that box of articles on the history of rodeo?”
“Behind my chair?”
“On that new shelf I made you?”
“Might be there. Or on the table. Of course, I might have—”
Walker closed the door firmly behind them, and her parents’ words cut off in mid-flow.
They stood on the front porch for a second before his polite smile gave way to a low, rumbling chuckle. “It seems some things never change.”
Ivy nodded in agreement. “Can you imagine if they were trying to be annoying?”
“Are you sure they’re not?” He adjusted the angle of his hat then tilted his head toward his truck. “Hungry?”
She should be, but there seemed to be a whole lot of butterflies dancing in her stomach where her dinner was supposed to go. “I could eat. I bet you’re starving.”
He pulled open the door and offered her a hand as she stepped on the running board to get in. “No one goes hungry around Silver Stone. JP’s got food in the cookhouse for the hands all day long. He never knows when people get off shift. I grabbed a bite before I got ready.”
He closed the door on her side then made his way around to the driver side. She was still laughing at his comment. “Is this something all guys do or just ranchers? Have a meal before they go out to eat?”
“Yes.” He flashed a grin before pulling away from the curb and heading toward Main Street. The short journey of only a few blocks passed quickly as Ivy stared out the window as they passed familiar buildings. The mercantile. A photography studio. Her parents’ book store. Walker nodded at the shop. “It was good to see your parents, as annoying as they are.”
“I’m sorry Dad teased about not stopping in more,” Ivy said. “I don’t know what was going on in his head.”
Walker hesitated for a moment, maybe because he was trying to find a parking space outside of Longhorn’s Steakhouse, but it seemed there was something else involved as well. “No, he’s right. I used to stop by more often.”
Ivy hesitated. “You mean, after I left for university?”
“Yeah.”
He was out the door before she could ask any more questions, and Ivy pushed it aside as a “thing to think about more and grill my sisters for answers” topic, but for now she had enough to focus on.
“You didn’t have to bring me to the most expensive place in town because of the auction.” Ivy slipped her hand into the crook of the elbow he offered before guiding her up the front steps of the low-lying building.
An old-time Western theme ran through this part of Heart Falls, with a wooden boardwalk and fake shutters outside the windows of most of the shops. Twinkling lights were draped over miniature spruce trees that stood in pots outside the door.
He hesitated before opening the door for her. “You haven’t gone and become a vegetarian or something since you left, have you?”
“God, no. I’m still a carnivore at heart, although I eat a few more green things these days.”
He gestured her in, laughing at the memory she must’ve triggered. The days her mother had pleaded with her to eat something from the fruit and vegetable family. Walker’s mother had been alive back then, and Deb and Sophie used to plot together to find ways to get their families to eat healthier.
They settled at the table, Walker shaking his head. “I still remember the time you suggested we hold a sit-in to protest your mom putting shredded carrots in the meatloaf.”
“Who does that? What sane person puts anything in meatloaf except their teeth?”
Walker laughed, the long, low sound rumbling through her like a caress, and she let it soak in, let it tangle around her with a sensation like slipping into well-worn jeans. It was comfortable, and soothing, and something that made her feel as if she were completely herself for the first time in a long time.
The hostess handed them menus, but Ivy barely noticed as her attention was drawn across the table. She admired his dark hair and the way his eyes danced over the page as he examined the menu. He’d grown into a fine-looking man. A sense of strength hung about him that was far more than just the muscles draping his tall frame.
She’d always trusted him completely, and while she didn’t understand everything she’d heard about him over the past years—his reckless behaviour seemed out of character in her mind—he was still her Walker.
Her first love.
Now to convince him that she wanted him to be her last as well.
* * *
If his hand hadn’t been forced by the bachelor auction, Walker wondered if they still wouldn’t have ended up in this very situation sooner or later. He’d been in Heart Falls off and on for the past eleven years, but this was the first time Ivy had been back for more than a short holiday.
And she was back. He’d found that out after the bachelor auction when he did a little digging and discovered Ivy was now the grade two teacher and the assistant principal at Heart Falls Elementary School.
Ha. A little digging—her business card had said as much. But he knew it meant she was going to be around, which meant considering everything between them all those years ago, of course he would’ve gotten in touch with her.
He wanted to stare. In fact, he was staring. It was a good thing he had the menu memorized, because even though he held the pages in the air in front of him, he was looking past it to steal glimpses of his date.
Ivy wasn’t as frail as she had been back in high school. Her frame was still delicate, and her colouring pale-moonlight, but she had more muscle and definitely more curves.
He’d enjoyed what she’d had before, thank you very much. Although at sixteen, the fact he’d got to even touch a female body had definitely put him in the awed-beyond-reason category.
The waitress took their order and left, and a moment of awkward silence arrived, at least until Ivy looked around the room before turning her gaze on him and offering a less than innocent smile.
“You look as if you’re plotting mischief,” he said, leaning forward with interest.
“I’m enjoying the fact that I already accomplished mischief.” Ivy taunted. “Turns out bachelor auctions are fun—I’d never been to one before.”
“You didn’t need to buy me,” Walker told her. “But, yes, I admire your evil tactics. I had no idea what was going on.”
Her face lit up. “You should’ve seen how horrified you looked when you thought Tansy was bidding on you.”
“Your sisters are awesome, but no way in hell—”
She snickered, almost a snort, covering her face with both hands as she flushed again. “It was for a good cause.”
“Freaking me the hell out. Sounds like a great cause.”
Ivy laughed harder. “Stop that. If you get me going there’s no way I’ll be able to stop, and this is not the place for me to be giggling like I’m twelve.”
He couldn’t stop himself. He let his gaze drift over her in admiration. “Trust me. No one in their right mind thinks you’re twelve.”
Her head dipped slightly, and she glanced up at him from under her lashes. “Sweet talker.”
“For a thousand dollars I need to recite poetry.�
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She grew busy straightening her utensils, no longer meeting his eyes. “Please. Don’t worry about the money part. Tansy and Rose had been saving tips from Buns and Roses with the intention of giving it to charity. Fern put in a quarter of the money as well.”
He wasn’t sure if that made him feel better or worse. “You mean your whole family bought me?”
A sharp laugh burst from her. “Definitely not, and if Tansy tries to tell you they did, feel free to correct her.”
Their dinner arrived, and for the next hour they filled their bellies and reminisced. Walker told her a bit about adventures at various rodeos, and she told him a few stories from university and her early teaching positions.
By the time two pieces of pie sat in front of them for dessert, they’d barely touched the surface.
“It’s been good to catch up a little,” he said honestly.
Ivy nodded and took a deep breath. “I’ve missed you.”
Something rolled in his belly. Something alive and wild. “I missed you too.”
It was the only thing he could say, because it was the truth.
She picked up her fork and fidgeted, playing with the crust of her apple pie. “It was hard to leave Heart Falls. It was so hard being away at school at the start, but it was exciting enough that time passed pretty quickly at first.”
Walker stared at the cherry pie in front of him—his favourite—and refused to look at her. Time had passed, yes, but he remembered that every day had seemed like an eternity to him.
But he was a damn grownup, and it’d been a long time ago, and he didn’t need to tell her how much it had hurt that she hadn’t been there. Besides, he’d been one hundred percent in favour of her going because it had been the right thing.
Sometimes doing the right thing sucked.
“But as good as it was I wanted to come home.” Ivy waited until he lifted his gaze to meet hers. “I’ve got enough experience to avoid being bounced around, and with the assistant principal position, I can finally settle down.”
“In Heart Falls?” He should be feeling something wonderful at her news, but instead a thin line of numbness was traveling along his spine.
She nodded. “I love it here. My family is all here, and my grandma. I’ve had a taste of living elsewhere, and I can honestly say this is where I want to put down roots.”
There was no hesitation as she spoke. Everything about her said she was completely sure. She sounded so confident and excited to be moving toward a new future.
“Good for you,” Walker said simply. He wanted nothing but the best for her.
Ivy lay down her fork and took a deep breath. “What about you? Are you back in town for good?” Her fingers shook the slightest bit, as if her question was more than a casual request for information.
God. He knew what she was asking. He knew exactly where she was going, because he knew her.
Or at least he’d known who she was before she’d left, and that woman, while shy to the point of not being able to speak at times, had still been able to get her point across.
Ivy was back in Heart Falls for good. Was he?
He would have given anything for the answer to be yes; for him to have reached the point he had anything to offer her.
Why did he seem to have nothing but wasted years stretching out behind him? Years he hadn’t accomplished anything to help his family or to prepare for this moment?
The knot of discomfort that sat at the base of his neck like some kind of alien infestation had taken control of him, tightened its fingers, and forced him to answer the only way he could. He’d made his choice there on the hillside overlooking his parents’ graves. He had to make a difference. He wasn’t going to stay.
“I’m only around for a short while. Maybe the summer.”
The light of hope in her eyes faded slightly. “Oh. They don’t need you at Silver Stone?”
“There’s always work for me there. Caleb and Luke are wonderful brothers, but…” He didn’t want to do this here. He didn’t want to be discussing how they couldn’t have a future in such a cold and sterile way, not that moving to a more personal setting would make it any simpler.
He didn’t meet her eyes. “Things are tough right now on the ranch. I’ve got a couple of opportunities waiting that could make some good money. It would give me a way to contribute and pay back the family for everything they’ve given me over the years.”
Ivy reached across the table and laid her fingers on top of his, her touch cool and soft. “I’m sure your family feels you’ve done a lot to contribute.”
“I don’t do anything special around the place. Any man can muck out a stall. Out on the rodeo when I’m hot, I can bring home some big purses.” He didn’t mention the other opportunity that was a million times more crazy, and could be a million times more lucrative—if it worked.
She squeezed his fingers. “Well, I would enjoy your company if you are going to be around…”
“Ivy, honey, don’t do this.” He spoke softly, but it still felt as if he were poking her with knives.
“I’m not doing anything, Walker. Just saying I like your company. But I heard you. You’re not going to be around. That’s fine.”
It wasn’t fine, not on any level. “If I was staying, I would be knocking on your door every single day.” His gut ached, and his heart hurt. Finally doing the right thing was brutal—it was like cutting off a limb to hurt them both like this. “I hope you know that, but I can’t stay.”
An enormous sigh escaped her. She glanced away and pretended not to dab at her eyes. “Okay. I’m disappointed because I was kind of hoping that we’d be able to…”
She shook her head and held back the words, and Walker felt like one hell of a bastard for dashing her hopes.
He felt sick to his stomach because what he wanted more than anything was to read between the lines and accept what he was damn sure was an offer for them to be together.
Suddenly she smiled at him, pulling herself together with strength that said a lot about the woman she’d become. “I’m proud of you.”
Walker wanted to take himself out behind the woodshed and beat some sense into his stupid brain. “What for?”
“For figuring out what’s important to you and sticking to your guns. That’s what I’m trying to do, and trust me, I know exactly how hard it is to do what you feel is right when the world is tugging you in a different direction. I don’t want to tug you from your goals. That’s why I’m proud.”
Ivy picked up her fork and dug into the last few bites of her pie, focusing on her food, which was great because it gave him a chance to think instead of react.
She was right. As horrible as it made him feel to not get involved with her, he had good reasons. Things to accomplish. Changing his mind on the spur of the moment wasn’t going to help his family, and it wouldn’t help him deal with the trouble haunting him like a banshee.
Walker took a deep breath then consumed his pie as well, the sweetness settling on top of that small bitter rock that remained in his belly.
He wanted it all. For everything to be right, and to have Ivy, and those two things couldn’t both happen.
He took her home at the end of the night, and as they stood on the porch outside her parents’ house the awkwardness returned, even though Ivy was trying everything possible to make it normal.
She twisted toward him, eyes shining like quicksilver in the pale glow from the porch light. “It was good to get back in touch. And you know you’re always welcome.”
“I’m pretty sure you’ll get an invite to the ranch soon. You need to meet Caleb’s Tamara and his girls.”
She nodded. “I’m looking forward to seeing Luke and Dusty as well. He looked so grown up on stage the day of the auction, I barely recognized him.”
“God, he’s nineteen and thinks he’s hot stuff.”
Ivy snickered gently. “How dare he. I thought that was supposed to be your job description, Mr. Dynamite.”
; Stupid nickname. But he grinned because it was better to have his reputation be what she was thinking about as they finished the evening. “It’s better than Danger-Man, which is what one announcer tried to label me with a few years back.”
“I remember that.” She offered him a sweet smile. “Well, thank you again for dinner, and I’m sure I’ll see you around town.”
She lifted up on her toes and pressed her lips to his cheek, chaste and friendly, before squeezing his arm and making her way inside without a backward glance.
In fact, she was gone so quickly he felt as if the porch was whirling. He stood there, motionless, uncertain what he was supposed to do with this lost and lonely sensation.
Finally, he turned and hopped in his truck, aiming it toward Silver Stone ranch in the hopes he could find someone to distract him.
Broken hopes sucked. Broken hearts—
Walker put his foot down on the gas and shoved the thought away with all his might.
5
Walker parked outside the bunkhouse, his usual living quarters while at Silver Stone. He and Luke had moved out of the ranch house years ago when Caleb had gotten married the first time.
He didn’t need much, and the bunkhouse had been set up to be comfortable for the hands. Each man had a private room with their own separate entrance, but a shared bathhouse and kitchen area.
He’d never needed much before, but as he looked around the spartan room, it was another dig at how little he’d accomplished over his nearly thirty years.
The small wardrobe had just enough room for his clothes and boots. Hooks on the wall held his hats. The bookcase that doubled as a side table was the only sign he lived here and not someone else. His favourite novels were stacked neatly so he could grab them whenever he wanted.
Hell, he had more property when it came to tack and equipment for his truck then personal items.
His conversation with Ivy earlier had triggered all kinds of emotions. She was settling in, and the kicker of it was he could picture the place she’d turn into a home. It would probably have the white picket fence, and room for two point five or whatever number of kids were average in this day and age.