by Alice Wilde
I turn and rush from the room as quickly as I can, my stomach churning with hatred for myself.
I scrub furiously at my skin for the better part of an hour, but I still feel dirty. It finally occurs to me that I can’t wash away the feeling. The only thing that’s going to make anything better is speaking to Roan.
Stepping out of the bath, the lady’s maid has to rush to wrap me in a robe before I speed off down the hall.
“Wait,” the woman calls. “I need to dress you.”
I exhale in a huff but follow her into another room so she can put a new dress on me. She moves to prepare the makeup products, but I can’t wait to speak to Roan any longer and hurry out of the room and back toward my own quarters.
Just as I reach the door to my own room, I stop in my tracks and take a deep breath. It’s only now that I realize there don’t seem to be any sounds coming from within the room. What if Roan’s left and Li’s chasing after him? Or worse, they’ve killed each other?
My heart starts to pound in my chest, my hand trembling as I reach toward the door and throw it open with a loud bang.
“Holy—”
“Wo cao—”
Roan and Li cry out in startled unison.
“Oh, you’re fine,” I gasp, leaning against the doorway in relief.
“Of course, we’re fine, lass. Who’s going to come bursting in here trying to scare us half to death besides yourself?”
I look inquiringly over at Li, who is sitting in a chair near the bed, but he just shrugs, and I don’t know what to make of his reaction.
“But…But what about…”
“Yeah, I know about last night, if that’s what you’re trying to ask me about,” Roan says in a low voice.
I lower my eyes to the floor, unsure of how best to proceed.
“Come here, lass,” Roan says, patting the bed next to him.
Strolling over, I try to think of something to say, but nothing seems right. I sit down next to him, my hands folded in my lap.
“Annalise,” Roan says slowly. “Li was the first of us to admit he was in love with you. He may not have told you, but I knew. Does it make me happy to know what happened last night? Absolutely not. Did I throw a few punches? Most definitely. Are we friends again? Give me a few days.”
I look at them both in confusion. “So, what does this mean?”
“Lass, the reason I have been so angry about Ero is that I never felt he deserved you. I’d seen the way he treated women, and I couldn’t stand for that to happen to you, too. And seeing how he’s disappeared, I can’t say that I was wrong,” Roan says before pausing. “I don’t want to share you, and I don’t want any other woman but you for the rest of my life, it’s as simple as that. But if what you want requires me to accept that you have multiple lovers, I’ll try my best not to be too petty. I love you, Annalise, and I know Li does, too. That’s all that matters in the end. Now, about Ero, I’m not too sure.”
“I don’t think we have to worry too much about Ero,” I say with a sad smile.
“Yeah, maybe not, but if you’re planning on bringing more men into our relationship, I’d appreciate a heads-up next time,” Roan says with a laugh. “Guess you’d better get used to having to share your bed with giants for the rest of your life.”
“I don’t think she’ll mind too much,” Li says. “Can’t say the same about myself.”
“Hey, at least I know you really are into women now,” Roan says with a grin.
I’m caught off-guard the next moment as something rushes by me and Roan topples backward and off the other side of the bed. Turning around as soon as I can collect myself, I watch as Li and Roan wrestle each other on the floor of the bedroom. It’s only now that I see they’ve already smashed up a few of the pieces of furniture, most likely while I was away bathing earlier.
I open my mouth to say something in an effort to get them to stop, but then close it. They don’t actually appear to be hurting each other or wrestling in anger. There’s something surprisingly exciting and primal about watching them fight with each other. The fact that they’ve somehow managed to tear off each other’s shirt in the process helps as well.
I shake my head to clear my mind, my face growing hot with embarrassment at the things I’ve been thinking. Li manages to pin Roan with a headlock just as a guard walks in through the open door an announces himself.
“The emperor requests your presence in the throne room, immediately.”
Li releases Roan and they both get to their feet as they try to re-adjust themselves.
“The emperor wants us to meet with him,” Li says.
“Of course he does,” I say with a laugh. “The guard just said that.”
Roan and Li look at me with odd expressions.
“What?”
“The guard was speaking Chinese, lass,” Roan says. “I didn’t understand a word of what he said.”
“Fascinating,” Li says quietly to himself before crossing the room to grab a set of clean shirts from a pile and throwing one to Roan. “We’ll have to talk more about this later. For now, let’s go see what Luo has in store for us now.”
We follow the guard out of the room and through the palace to the throne room where I can hear the murmur of curious voices. But my heart nearly leaps into my throat at the sound of one particular voice.
The massive doors are pulled open to let us inside the throne room and I stop dead in my tracks as I look down the long aisle at the person standing before the emperor. I forget where I am for a moment and my voice echoes loudly through the hall.
“Ero!”
Twenty
Annalise
The tall, pale-haired man standing at the end of the room doesn’t turn to me. Li grabs me as I begin to run into the throne room toward Ero, pulling me back to his side.
“Calm yourself, Little Bird,” Li whispers. “This isn’t quite the place we want to be making a scene. Luo may allow us to interact with him in quite an informal way within our private quarters, but not here.”
I look up at him in irritation, but I know he’s right, and I check my behavior as the three of us gradually make our way toward the emperor, bowing low once we’ve reached an appropriate distance from Luo and Ero. We straighten as the emperor addresses us.
“So, I see this man was telling the truth,” Luo says. “He said he was your companion, but you’d been separated at sea. Is this true as well?”
“Yes,” Li says.
“Hmm, this is very interesting, to say the least,” the emperor says thoughtfully. “I was under the impression that you had always only been three, but a fourth…”
I have no idea what the emperor is going on about, but I wish he’d hurry up and let us know or give us leave. Right now, I want nothing more than to have a moment to speak with Ero.
Luo snaps his fingers, and one of the men standing nearby steps forward.
“I need you to fetch a book from my quarters,” the emperor says. “It’s in a large wooden box in the main sitting room. Go, quickly…and do not open it.”
The man bows and hurries from the room. We wait patiently for the man to return, at least as patiently as possible given the circumstances. The people around us continue to murmur, but their voices are too low for me to make out anything that they’re saying. Roan is grumbling to himself, but I try my best not to listen to what he’s saying to himself about Ero.
The sound of footsteps hurrying back reverberates through the room as the little man finally returns and climbs the steps to the throne to hand Luo a large white book with gold lettering. He pries it open and begins rapidly flipping through the pages until he stops somewhere around the middle of the book.
“Here it is,” Luo says under his breath, reading the passage quietly to himself before looking up at us. “Yes, there’s a prophecy in the White Book of Mnemosyne about the four of you and the end of the world.”
“What?” Li asks incredulously, stepping forward out of curiosity.
“Hm
m, yes, perhaps we should discuss this later, in private,” the emperor says. “You’re dismissed, but don’t leave the palace.”
“And Ero?” Li asks.
“Ero?”
“Our fourth companion.”
“Ah, yes, he may join you in your quarters, for now.”
“Thank you,” Li says and then steps forward to whisper something to Ero.
I watch as Ero turns to walk back with us, but he doesn’t look me in the eye and my heart sinks.
“Oh, before we leave, would it be possible for me to take that book back with us?” Li asks.
“I think not,” Luo says. “We’ll discuss it later.”
Li’s jawline hardens out of frustration, but he simply bows his head and turns back to lead the way out of the throne room and back to our own quarters.
Ero still hasn’t spoken to any of us or even looked my way by the time we are in my bedroom. Li closes the door behind us and we all watch as Ero sinks onto the bed with an exhausted sigh.
“Are you going to tell us what’s going on?” Li asks.
I want to rush over to Ero and hug him, but something inside me holds me back…as well as the fact that Roan has gripped me by my shoulder. I’m not sure if he’s trying to keep me away from Ero or ground himself.
Ero doesn’t say anything, instead covering his face with his arm as he sighs deeply. Li looks over at Roan and I and then crosses the room to stand next to Ero.
“At least let me check you for any injuries.”
“I’m not hurt. Not physically,” Ero finally says, his voice strange.
“You’re dehydrated,” Li says, leaning down over Ero as he tries to inspect him visually.
“I’ll get him some water,” I say, gently prying Roan’s hand from my shoulder and rushing across the room to pour out some tea. It’s not hot anymore, but I think that better suits Ero’s current needs. Walking carefully over to Li, I hand him the small cup. “Here, I’ll grab the pot as well.”
Roan still hasn’t moved from his spot near the door, and I wish I could tell what’s going through his mind as he stares at Ero. Picking up the cold pot of tea, I return to the bedside to find Ero still hasn’t taken any of the tea Li is trying to get him to drink.
“Let me,” I say, placing the pot on a nearby table and taking the cup once again. Li takes a step back to let me sit on the edge of the bed. “Ero, please, drink something. It’ll help.”
Ero shakes his head, still covering the upper half of his face with his arm. I sigh, unsure of how best to proceed. I can’t force him to drink or talk to us, but I hate to see him like this. He doesn’t seem like himself at all, at least not the Ero I last saw confidently helming a Viking ship in the worst storm I’d ever seen. He’s far more weathered, and his clothes are torn and ragged. I can only imagine what would cause him to act like this.
Placing my free hand flat on Ero’s chest, I lean forward over him and gently press the cup to his lips.
“Drink,” I say in as firm a voice as I can muster.
To my surprise, Ero’s cracked lips part and he allows some of the liquid to enter his mouth. It’s just a sip, but it causes him to cough and splutter, most of the tea coming back up as he turns his head to get it out.
“I can’t,” he says in a barely audible voice.
“You can,” I say, and then I feel something strange under my fingertips and freeze. My eyes become unfocused as new sensations run through my arm.
Jumping to my feet, I look down at Ero in alarm.
“Take this,” I say, shoving the teacup into Li’s hands and spilling most of the liquid all over him in the process.
Roan takes a few steps toward us as I turn back to Ero and plant both my hands on the bare skin of his chest. The next moment, it’s as if I’m tumbling through space and time. I can feel everything inside Ero’s body, the pain, the blood, the past, the present. I don’t know how to explain it.
Without Ero saying a word, I can pinpoint exactly what’s wrong with his body. I can’t read his thoughts or see what’s he’s been through, but I can feel the effect it’s having on his current, physical body.
Something traumatizing has happened. I let myself fall deeper into what can only be described as magic, searching. His body is still stronger than most, but in comparison to his former self, he’s just a shadow, and then I scream out in my mind. It feels as though my heart is being slowly torn into pieces. The pain is gut-wrenching and agonizing, but I can’t seem to pull myself away from it.
I gasp, air flooding into my lungs as my eyes come back into focus. It’s only now that I realize I’m lying on the floor, being held in Li’s arms. He’s looking down at me in concern, and Roan is gripping my hand tightly as he watches me in terror.
“What just happened, lass? You were screaming bloody murder.”
My mind is still reeling as I try to steady myself, pain coursing through my body, although not nearly to the extent it was a minute ago. Li places one of his large hands flat on the left side of my chest and I instantly feel soothing waves flow through me, gradually easing the ache within me.
Roan presses a cup to my lips and I drink from it gratefully. Leaning fully into Li, I sigh in relief as I finally feel more like myself.
“Thank you,” I say wearily to the two of them.
“You felt him,” Li says quietly.
“What do you mean by ‘felt him’?” Roan asks uncomfortably.
“I think so,” I whisper.
“If it’s anything like what I have felt, then she’s just experienced some level of whatever Ero is going through,” Li explains. “But I can’t say I’ve ever felt anything to the point it caused me debilitating pain.”
I wish I could say more, but my mind and body feel as though they’ve seen a hundred years of torture.
“Rest.” The word barely manages to fall from my lips before I pass out in Li’s arms.
I wake feeling much more like myself, although the memory of the experience is still as clear as day and there is still a slight, lingering pain in my chest. Li and Roan are sitting in chairs nearby and stop whispering to each other as soon as they notice I’m awake.
Ero is lying on the far side of the bed in the same position I’d last seen him, but he appears to be sleeping now.
“How long have I been sleeping?”
“Not long,” Li says. “Perhaps a half hour.”
“I’m surprised you’re awake,” Roan says. “I expected to be waiting here for the better part of the day, if not longer.”
I sit up, grateful to find that I still feel fine.
“Do you feel up to telling us what happened?” Li asks.
“Yes, I think so,” I say. “Perhaps we can speak away from Ero, so as not to disturb him.”
Li nods and collects the chairs they’ve been sitting on as well as another along the way and carries them over to the far side of the room as if they were nothing but children’s toys. I start to climb off the bed, but Roan scoops me up in his arms instead. Once seated, Roan and Li watch me quietly as I try to explain.
“I don’t know what happened while he was separated from us, but whatever it was, it’s nearly torn him to pieces,” I say. “We may not be able to see any physical damage, but he’s dying inside. I’m honestly worried it’s actually killing him.”
I can tell Roan is biting his tongue to keep himself from saying something snide.
“I wish I knew what to do,” Li says with a sigh. “After you collapsed, I tried to see if I could find out what you went through myself, but I couldn’t find anything wrong with him. Nothing physically wrong with him, that is. I’m sure we can all agree he’s not acting like himself.”
“So, we get him to snap out of it,” Roan says bluntly. “Simple as that.”
Li and I look at Roan, who sits back, shrugging his shoulders at us.
“I think we need to get him to tell us what happened,” Li says. “It may be the only way we can fix him, or at least help him.”
&nbs
p; “You’re right,” I say.
“Little Bird, you’re going to have to do it,” Li says. “I doubt he’ll open up to me, and we both know it’s a bad idea to leave Roan and Ero alone in the same room together.”
“I wouldn’t kill him,” Roan mutters, rolling his eyes. “Not right now.”
“I don’t know what to do,” I say, choosing to ignore Roan’s remark for the time being. “And why do you keep calling me Little Bird?”
Li looks at me uneasily. “I…I hadn’t realized I’d started calling you that,” Li says. “It was a name I used a long time ago. Someone I couldn’t save…but you’re not me, and this time the patient isn’t bleeding out.”
“At least the wound would be visible if it were,” I mutter. “How am I supposed to heal something I can’t see? I don’t know how to control this magic, or even what this magic is.”
Li’s eyes glance toward Roan, and Roan shifts uncomfortably in his chair as though he knows what Li’s about to suggest next.
“You can try to just talk to him, get him to open up about what happened,” Li says cautiously. “But you will probably have to touch him. Even if he tells you, the hurt he’s internalized may be too deep to simply talk through.”
“She doesn’t have to touch him,” Roan groans.
“I’m not saying it has to go far. In fact, I’d prefer if it didn’t,” Li clarifies. “I just think that the magic you seem to possess may actually be able to heal deeper, hidden wounds. I’ve never seen anything quite like it, but you’re going to have to be careful. If it goes too far, you could end up giving up too much of your own life force to help him.”
I shudder at the thought of touching Ero again. Not because I don’t want to help him, but just the memory sends pain rippling through me.
“What if I can’t help him?” I ask, my voice cracking. “What if I try and I can’t even save myself?”
“We’ll be close by,” Li says as reassuringly as possible, placing a calming hand against my cheek. “If anything goes wrong, we’ll know.”