by K L Wood
He pursed his lips as if the idea wasn’t all that appealing but threw it anyway. I slipped my hand in his, and he pulled me up, but I pretended to slip. “Ow!”
“What’s wrong?”
“My ankle.”
As soon as he crouched down to help me, I took off running for the hose, but a strong arm wrapped around me before I had the chance to reach it. Reed pulled me to the ground. I giggled as he hovered over me.
“Okay, you win,” I said.
He smirked and plopped down beside me, flopping back on the ground.
“But I still get the last shot,” I said quickly and hurled my body to the side, my fingers slightly grazing the hose.
“Oh no, you don’t!” Reed pulled me into his arms, and we landed back on the ground. Sitting between his legs, I felt his chest rising and falling against my back. His mouth was near my neck, and chills rippled across my wet skin. Our laughter faded, and I slid my arms over his, gripping his forearms. His lips moved closer to my neck, barely touching. I curved my back into him, and he held me even tighter.
We didn’t say anything at first. Neither of us wanted to break this moment, but also both of us knew that going any further was not a good idea.
I cleared my throat. “I’m going to jump in the shower. Starting to get a bit chilly.”
But I didn’t feel the least bit cold in his arms.
He slowly released his hold on me. “Good idea. I’ll take the downstairs bathroom.” He stood up but avoided my eyes. “I was thinking of making chicken salad for lunch. Would you like some?”
“Sounds great.”
Pretending this never happened was probably the best way to go. But I couldn’t deny the feelings that were stirring inside of me. I didn’t know if they were more for Reed or just because I missed being held.
Reed
Our conversations throughout lunch and dinner were scarce and about nothing in general. I hated small talk, but I knew there was more going on under the surface in both our minds. We both knew it, and neither one of us had a damn clue on how to deal with it.
How she felt in my arms…I hadn’t realized how much I missed it, even though I’d never held her like that in my life. It was like something I didn’t know I’d lost had found its way back, filling that dark hole where my heart should be.
I wanted to feel it again so fucking badly, my chest ached for it.
I looked up from my Kindle and over at Tabitha. She turned away and focused back on her book when I caught her stare.
This strange tension between us was too frigging much, and I sure as hell wasn’t ready to break the ice because I knew exactly where that would lead us. And she wasn’t prepared for it.
I wasn’t so sure I was, either.
I pushed myself off the couch. “I’m going to head in early, maybe do a little writing.”
She nodded but didn’t take her eyes from the screen. “Okay, goodnight.”
“Night.”
I headed upstairs and paced the floor of my room, trying to figure out how to fix this. Could we go back to what we were again? Could we ever really be just friends?
As much as I hated it, it was easier when we fought. Easier when some jerkoff stood between us. Easier because she didn’t love me.
But this couldn’t turn physical.
Maybe leaving would be the best option. Give Tabitha space to get over Mark. When I came back from my trip, perhaps then we could talk and figure out where to go from there.
Because the way she looked at me now, the way she responded when I held her, I didn’t think I was strong enough to last another day with her.
21
Kiss Me
Tabitha
My mind was overflowing. It felt like I was undergoing battle between my mind, body, and heart, pulling me in all different directions.
Body: His warmth, his strong arms enveloping you, the way he spoke of pleasing a woman…you know that’s what he could give you. It would be like nothing you’ve ever experienced.
Mind: Mark just broke up with you not even two weeks ago. Give it some time, and if you still have these feelings for Reed, you’ll know they are genuinely for him and not because you’re rebounding.
Body: You’re a grown woman. There doesn’t have to be promises. It would just be a memory, an experience. You can handle it.
Heart: He’s going to leave again soon. It will break me in two all over again.
Mind: The goal is to move on from him. Don’t go backward.
Heart: You’ll never move on from him. You understood that the moment his arms wrapped around you.
Body: Do you want to live the rest of your life never knowing what it feels like to be with your first love? To feel real passion you know he can give? This is your chance, and you might never have it again.
Mind: He doesn’t love you in that way. It’s better to let it go.
Heart: But I’m so lonely, and I miss feeling wanted and loved.
Body: Me, too.
I rubbed at my belly, trying to ease the war of butterflies rumbling in my stomach.
One night. I could handle this.
I wanted to do this.
I wanted to be with Reed.
Gathering the courage to make the first move, I threw the covers off me and sat up. I tiptoed out the door and a few steps down the hallway in only an oversized T-shirt and underwear. Music played softly behind the door. I froze.
You can do this.
I balled my hand into a fist and rapped on the door.
“Come in.”
I turned the knob, my fingers shaking. Reed was halfway under the covers, no shirt, a tablet on his lap. He placed the device on his nightstand and looked up. “Are you okay?”
I pressed my toes into the chilly wood floor and shook my head. “Can I stay with you tonight?”
He cocked his head warily, as if thinking of the right words to say.
Instead of cowering, I let out what I felt. “Please don’t reject me, Reed. Not tonight. I don’t think I could handle it.” I wiped a tear that escaped, and he climbed out of bed, wearing only his boxer briefs.
He took one of my hands in his and caressed my cheek with his other. “I’d love for you to stay with me, but no sex, okay?”
I nodded. “I just want to sleep near you.” I nestled my face against his palm. “I miss being touched.”
I miss your touch.
The pain in his eyes was almost as palpable as my own. He lightly kissed my forehead and led me to the bed. “Which side do you prefer?”
I pointed to the right. “That one.”
“Go ahead.”
I climbed under the covers, and he slipped in beside me. His strong arm wrapped around me as he inched close to my body, holding me tight.
I couldn’t help it. It was like a dam burst inside of me. Every heartbreak, every stupid relationship, and every rejection speech sugar-coated as, “It’s not the right time,” “It’s not you, it’s me,” “I’m at a weird place in my life,” “You’re not the kind of partner I want,” “I don’t love you…not like that.” I told him everything.
Reed pressed me closer to him, his hand over my heart as he listened. He kissed the top of my head over and over as he rubbed my forehead with his other hand. He never told me to stop or that I shouldn’t cry. He just let it spill out of me without judgment. And in that moment, I loved him for that.
When the tears finally stopped, I felt so much lighter. Relieved.
“Thank you,” I whispered and turned to look up at him. He was propped up on his elbow, that soft smile I loved brushing his lips. Gawd, he was beautiful. He swept hair away that had stuck to the wetness of my cheek.
A tender laugh escaped me. “I must look like a complete mess right now.”
“You’re beautiful.”
My chest filled with warmth, and I lifted my hand to touch his cheek then traced the edge of his jawline. His blue eyes grew a tad bit darker as my fingers glided over his mouth.
“Kiss
me.”
He didn’t hesitate like I thought he would. Instead, he kept that same warm smile as he cupped the side of my face and inched closer to me. His kiss was so soft, like a whisper. Every touch so sensitive and delicate, it made the inside of my belly quiver.
I wanted more of it. I wrapped my hand around Reed’s neck, pulling him closer, greedily drinking in the heat of his breath, his sweet taste, his soft moan.
Reed gently pulled away and gazed into my eyes as if reading for my reaction, making sure I was okay with this.
“I want you, Reed. You don’t have to give me tomorrow or the next day, but I ask you to give me tonight.”
He dipped his chin, avoiding my eyes.
I slipped my fingers down his cheek and guided him to look at me. “What’s wrong?”
“I don’t want to be your rebound, Tabitha.”
I tilted my head, seeing the pain that hung in his eyes. “How could you ever be my rebound? You were my first love.” I slid my fingers through his hair. “No matter what happens in our lives or who we end up with, there will always be you and me. It’s always been that way.”
He sucked in a shaky breath. “It has.” He kissed my forehead. “As much as I want to, I can’t. Sex does complicate things, and I don’t think I could handle another five years of fighting with you.”
I closed my eyes to hide the disappointment I felt.
“But there’s something I’d like to do…if you want me to.”
My eyelids fluttered open. “What?”
“Let me please you…the way you should be pleased.”
An electric shiver started from my belly and reached between my thighs. “Yes.”
“There’s one rule.”
“What?” I whispered.
“This is about you. Don’t try to coerce me further. I need to keep my head.”
“Okay.”
“Promise me.”
“I promise.”
His hand slipped under my T-shirt and glided across my belly. “Take off your shirt.” His voice was lower, a bit commanding.
I sat up and slid the fabric over my head. The sudden coolness and anticipation of what was to come instantly hardened my nipples. Reed took the T-shirt from my hand and tossed it to the floor without taking his eyes from me. He drank me in like I was the only woman in the world. The tips of his fingers trembled as he caressed my face, my hair.
“Are you sure you want to do this?” he asked.
“Yes.” I intertwined my fingers with his. “I promise, no matter what happens, there will always be you and me.”
He pulled me closer, kissing me harder, like something inside him unleashed. I felt every bit of it, and a wild hunger consumed me as if I couldn’t get enough. The heat, the wetness of our mouths, his firm grip pulling me into him. I straddled his lap and rocked my hips back and forth. I could feel him hardening, and I hugged him tightly, dragging my nails across his back.
Reed ripped his mouth from mine. “Tabitha, stop.”
“I want you.”
He groaned, gripped me tighter, and flipped me on my back. “Bring your arms over your head.” His commanding voice sent waves of pleasure coursing through me, and I did exactly what he asked. He gently guided my hands to the small wrought iron poles of the headboard. “Hold onto these. Don’t let go, no matter how much you want to. If you do, I’ll stop. Understand?”
I nodded, squeezing the poles tightly. I looked down, realizing my underwear was still on. “Did you want me to take these off?”
He slipped his knee over me so he was hovering over my body on all fours. He shook his head, a devious, hot smile shadowing his mouth, his eyes. “Not yet.” He lifted my hair away from my skin and fanned it over the pillow. He looked down at me as his finger traced the curve of my neck and down my shoulder. Chills rippled across my skin, and a soft moan escaped my lips. His hands glided down my arms and brushed the sides of my waist.
I squirmed a bit as a soft laugh tumbled out of me. “Are you trying to tickle me?”
“I’m getting to know your body. The parts that give you chills, the parts that tickle, the parts that make you yearn for more.”
The hunger in his voice turned me on, and I curved my back upward, desperately craving more of his touch. His fingers grazed the curves of my breasts, down to the small of my belly. I wanted him to go further down so badly, but he wouldn’t. I let out a groan. He leaned forward, the heat of his breath enveloping my hardened nipple. I writhed beneath him, desperate to feel the wetness of his mouth. But he teased until I couldn’t take it anymore. I let out a gasp as his tongue glided and circled my nipple. Slight pleasurable pain shot through me as he gently bit and sucked.
I gripped the poles even harder. “Oh, Reed, I want you so bad.”
Reed’s hands squeezed my hips at my words as he kissed and licked and nibbled all the way down to the edge of my panties. They were soaked, and I shifted, wanting him to take them off. “Please,” I begged under heavy breath. He slid down my underwear slowly, so damn slowly that the anticipation was almost unbearable. I didn’t want to wait anymore. I wanted his tongue, his heat… I wanted him to fill me up.
His lips traveled over my calf, gliding up my leg. Just when he was inches between my legs, he kissed the tender part of the inside of my thigh, making me quiver. He groaned as his tongue slowly and ever so gently traveled along the slit of my lips. “You taste so damn good.”
I grabbed his hair by the fistful as I arched my hips, wanting him to penetrate me deeper, but he stopped and looked up at me, a deep craving in his midnight-blue eyes. “Both hands on the poles or I stop.”
I instantly grabbed the poles, squeezing tighter than ever.
He lifted my hips in his strong hands as his tongue went in deeper. I thrust upward, wanting more and more. The throbbing and the ache were excruciating, but I wanted it. I yearned to drown and fully immerse myself in every sensation. With one hand curled around my thigh, he used his other to open my legs wider. His tongue circled around my clit as he teased and sucked. He gently slipped one finger inside me as his mouth worked its magic, bringing me closer to the edge. He slid in another finger, curving them against my wall and hitting a spot I didn’t even know existed.
I screamed out his name, begging for more as his tongue circled faster and his fingers massaged that one place that sent waves of intense pleasure crashing through my entire body. I moved to his rhythm, flowing with every thrust. I wailed out his name again as my hips jolted, and I had the most unbelievable orgasm I’d ever had in my life.
I sat up and wrapped my arms around his neck, sliding my hands down his back. Leftover ripples coursed through me as he slowly glided his fingers out of me. I guided him up and held him closer, our lips nearly touching. My scent hovered between us, but I didn’t care. I wanted his mouth, his kiss. But instead of the intensity of the last one, it was like he was holding back. He pulled away, his chest rising and falling in deep, heavy breaths. I looked down, and he was so hard. I wanted to touch him, please him. Feel him inside me. I slid my hands down his chest and gripped the band of his briefs.
He froze, but his stomach pulsed under my touch. He shook his head. “You promised.”
I took my hands away, balling them into fists. “I’m sorry.”
Reed lightly kissed my lips before he climbed off me and lay down on his back. He held out his arm. “Come here.”
I snuggled against his chest, soaking in his warmth. He wrapped his arms around me and kissed the top of my head.
We didn’t say anything more. We didn’t need to.
Strangely, none of this felt weird or awkward.
It was perfect, and it scared me.
22
Missing Her
Reed
I woke to find Tabitha gone. I ran my hand over the spot she had slept, but it was cool to the touch. My heart sank at the thought that she possibly regretted what happened. I’d hoped I would wake to find her next to me, see her eyes flutter open and a smile touc
h her lips to let me know everything was okay.
I turned on my back, my mind flooded with images of last night. The softness of her skin, how fucking unbelievably good she tasted, every inch of her. Her unbridled moans as she called out my name, wanting me to give her more. I adjusted my briefs as they started to feel tighter.
What I loved most was that feeling, that deep sense of peace I felt when Tabitha lay against my chest. It was as if we melted into each other, like we were one person. With anyone else, that would have scared the hell out of me. But it felt right with Tabitha. I wanted that more than the sex, which was strange to me, because I really enjoyed sex.
And I instinctively knew sex with her would be incredible.
I gripped my cock, which was beginning to throb. I was tempted to release, but I pushed that option away. If I was going to be with Tabitha, I wasn’t going to get off imagining it. I wanted the full experience.
But I had to tread carefully.
No sex. Not yet. I needed to be sure Tabitha was completely over Mark before we ever went there.
Last night, she was vulnerable. I probably shouldn’t have gone as far as I did, but the need to please her, to make her feel good and wanted and loved, overcame any common sense my brain could possibly conjure up.
I swung my feet to the floor. It was time to face the music. What tune that would be, I didn’t know.
I shoved my hands into my jean pockets as I walked into the kitchen. The smell of sautéed onion and bacon filled the house. Tabitha stood in front of the stove, stirring through home fries with a wooden spatula.
“Good morning,” I said.
Her shoulders tensed at first as she tossed potato and onion. “Good morning. Hungry?”
“Yes.”
Please look my way and let me know everything is all right.
She opened the oven door and took out a pan of bacon that looked nice and crisp and placed it on the counter. “Would you mind getting these on a paper towel to soak the grease?”