He frowned at her. “What’s going on?”
She shook her head. “Nothing. Let’s go, okay?”
“There’s something wrong. You need to tell me.”
She met his gaze defiantly, her chin raised. “Let’s just get to your place.”
He didn’t sigh, but he wanted to as he followed her out of the pub and to his car. The drive wasn’t that long, but it was filled with tension. He didn’t ask her questions, didn’t speak, but then again, she didn’t volunteer any information either. He had a feeling the other shoe was about to drop, and he sure as hell didn’t like the idea of it. He’d just gotten used to the idea of Blake, and now he was sure something was going to fuck it all up.
Again.
When he pulled into his driveway next to her car, he shut off the engine and undid his seatbelt so he could turn and look at her. She had her hands in her lap, her fingers twined together, and that worried him since she didn’t look like herself. When her teeth bit into her lip, and her shoulders began to shake with nerves, he reached out for her.
“Tell me, Blake. What’s going on?”
She looked at him and pulled away from his touch. He tried not to let that hurt. “I…I’ll tell you inside.”
“You can tell me here,” he said slowly.
“Please?”
He nodded and got out of the car as she did. He didn’t speak as he opened the front door and let them both inside. What he really wanted right then was a beer, but he had a feeling he shouldn’t even stop to do that right then.
Graham folded his arms over his chest. “What is it, Blake?”
She rolled her shoulders back. “I’m going to tell you something, and it’s going to come as a surprise. But I want you to know, there are reasons, very, very important reasons why I did what I did.”
Unease crept up his spine. “What did you do?”
Blake met his eyes. “I have a daughter. Her name is Rowan, and she’s ten years old.”
Shock slammed into him, forcing him back a step. His mouth went dry, and he tried to think about what she’d said, tried to comprehend.
Words spiraled in his brain, a cascade of darkness and truths that threatened the very foundation he stood on.
Daughter.
Rowan.
Ten years old.
“What the fuck?” he gasped. “You didn’t tell me? Didn’t tell me you have a fucking daughter? We’ve been together for weeks now. We fucked, and you didn’t tell me?”
She shook her head, her eyes clear but frightened. “I couldn’t tell you. I’m so, so sorry. I don’t tell people about her, and I have good reasons why I don’t. Reasons she’s a secret. But with you…it snowballed. I tried to tell you before, and then things got out of control. Yes, I should have told you before this, and that’s on me. But, Graham, there are reasons.”
“You think I give a damn about your reasons? All I’m hearing is that you think nothing of me, nothing of your child. She’s not good enough for you to share? What the fuck is wrong with you?”
This time, it was anger that leapt into her eyes. “No, that is so far off the mark. She’s my everything. I wanted to tell you, I did. But it was too early at first. It’s not safe if I just blurt her out like that. And then, when I thought it might be time, you told me about Cynthia.” This time, she blinked away tears. “And I didn’t want to mention Rowan so soon. I didn’t know the right time, Graham.”
At the sound of Cynthia’s name, he felt the blood drain from his face. His heart ached at the thought of his daughter, and yet there was this other little girl out there the same damn age as Cynthia would have been, and yet, Blake had hidden her like a dirty secret. It was like he didn’t even know the woman in front of him, and damned if he wanted to listen to her anymore.
“Get out,” he whispered, low, dangerous.
“I came here that morning to tell you…but things got out of control.”
He remembered her saying something about that, but if her daughter were that important to her, she should have tried harder. If he was that important to her, she should have tried harder.
“So it’s my fault?” he bellowed. “What the fuck? You didn’t tell me. You lied. Your daughter is the same age as my daughter would have been. Don’t you get that? Don’t you get that just the idea of Rowan hurts? It shouldn’t. I shouldn’t hate the idea that you have a child when I don’t. But that’s what you’ve done to me. I don’t even know what to say right now.”
“Of course, I know the ages,” she whispered. “That’s why I freaked out and made mistake after mistake.” She met his eyes. “But Rowan isn’t a mistake.”
“Get out.” He took a deep breath. “I can’t deal with you. I can’t even look at you. Just go.”
“Graham, we can talk about this.”
“No, we can’t. You didn’t want drama? Fine. Get the fuck out. We’re over.”
She looked at him again but nodded after a long moment. Without another word, she left him standing in his living room, alone and breaking all over again. She had a kid. A freaking kid, who could have been friends with his baby girl.
Blake had the opportunity to watch her daughter grow, to watch the world grow with her, and Graham didn’t have that. While Blake had hidden her daughter, Graham had tried to bring Cynthia out more.
The fact that he’d only told Blake about Cynthia because Candice had shown up crossed his mind but he pushed it away. He didn’t know what he’d have done if things were different, but either way, he’d never have purposely hidden his child’s memory.
His heart felt like someone had squeezed it until the blood vessels burst and there was nothing left but an ache and the memory of what could never be.
Graham went to his front door and locked it, knowing Blake wouldn’t be back. She had too much pride. He wasn’t sure he wanted to see her anyway. He might be working on her family’s home—a home that he still didn’t know the story about—and he might be connected to the place she worked through family, but that didn’t mean he had to see her again.
She’d broken something inside him, and he didn’t want to find a way to fix it.
He hated the fact that her lies had forced him to resent a little girl for merely being. And for that…for that, he might not ever forgive Blake.
Or himself.
11
Blake knew she’d messed up, but even though sadness filled her, it did nothing to quench the anger.
Four days.
It had been four days.
Four days since she’d told Graham the truth and had ruined any chance she had with him. Yet she knew that no matter the outcome, she’d probably have done the same thing she had initially. Rowan was far too important to her to just let anyone know about her. And that twisted sense of logic was why Blake tried to avoid drama in the first place.
The sadness came from the knowledge that she had a relationship that was over before it had even begun. She ached for Graham’s loss and his inability to move on, but she couldn’t blame him for the latter. If she lost Rowan, she didn’t know what she’d do. The fact that she’d kept her daughter to herself because of those who would not only hurt her and Rowan, but also take her baby away, spoke of only a small fraction of what Blake would do.
But Blake couldn’t help but be angry, as well. Graham hadn’t let her explain, hadn’t let her open up and tell him more than she’d told another soul in her life. She’d wanted to explain why she’d left her parents all those years ago, and why it hurt her to step foot in the house he was currently renovating. From there, she’d have told him about Rowan’s father and why Blake had done her best to keep her daughter in the shadows without dampening her inherent brightness.
The rollercoaster of the past decade wore on Blake, and the fact that she’d thought she could trust Graham with it told her how close to breaking she’d been. Graham hadn’t wanted to listen, hadn’t wanted anything except Blake to be gone. Yes, she’d lied—or omitted the truth—but it had been for good reasons
. At least, good in her mind. In the process of trying to keep her family safe, she’d hurt Graham. Because of that, she’d lost him.
So, yes, she was sad, but she was angry, too. Not just at him, but at the situation and those who’d put her in this position in the first place.
One person who she would never be angry at for just being was her daughter. Everything Blake did, every lie she told, every person she had to push away, was for Rowan. And that would never change.
“Mom?”
Rowan’s voice brought Blake out of her thoughts, and she turned to her daughter. Rowan smiled as she bounced into the living room, her backpack in her hand and her hair out of its ponytail again.
Blake snorted and held out a hand. “Come here, squirt. Didn’t I just help you with your hair?”
Rowan shrugged and bounced again. Blake’s kid was forever bouncing, or talking, or bouncing and talking. It took all the energy Blake had at the end of a long day to keep up with her, and yet, she wouldn’t change it for anything.
“It wasn’t even,” Rowan said. “I like things even.”
Forever her mother’s daughter. “Yeah, but it was even when I did it.” She narrowed her eyes. “Were you by any chance hanging upside down over your bed instead of going through your spelling words?”
Rowan looked at the corner of the ceiling and tried to whistle. It came out as a breathy hum since she couldn’t actually whistle, and Blake did her best to not crack up at it. Seriously, with this kid.
“Come here, weirdo,” she said with a laugh since she couldn’t hold it back for longer than two seconds.
Rowan came over and turned around, holding out a hair tie in her hand. “Thanks, Mom. And I went over the words upside down. It helps keep them in my brain, you know.”
Since Rowan’s back was to her, Blake rolled her eyes. “Are you sure they don’t just fall out?” She finished putting Rowan’s hair up before tickling her daughter’s side. Rowan tried to squirm away, laughing up a storm, but Blake was still faster.
For now.
Soon, her baby would grow up even more, and become more and more of her own person. While Blake loved the idea of it, she still wanted her precious baby girl to stay a child for a little while longer.
“Stop!” Rowan giggled. “I’m going to pee my pants.”
Blake chuckled but let go. Most of the anger and sadness that had filled her before slowly slid away at the sound of Rowan’s laughter. Her daughter was everything to her, and to hear that laugh meant the world.
“You ready for school?” Blake asked as she checked Rowan’s bag. They were forever forgetting things until the last minute, though she tried to keep track of lists. But with just the two of them and her weird hours, sometimes things didn’t work out. Hence, the triple checking of the schoolbag in the mornings.
“Yep.” Rowan snuggled into Blake’s side. “I have my homework, don’t worry.”
Blake nodded as she checked the pocket folders just in case. “Good, because that math was hard.”
Rowan smiled. “Yeah, but it’ll get easier with practice, right?”
Blake nodded, though she was on the verge of lying. She’d done okay in school but hadn’t gone past high school. She’d been too busy being an asshole with her ex to go to college and make something of her life, as her parents had put it. Soon, Rowan would be passing her in terms of knowledge since school these days seemed so much tougher.
Maybe they’d get a tutor for Blake and Rowan if it came to that.
“I gotta go,” Rowan said as she kissed Blake’s cheek. “Don’t want to miss the bus.”
Blake hugged her daughter hard and kissed the top of her head. “Okay, baby.”
“I’m not a baby, Mom.” With that epic eye roll, Blake was pretty sure the teenage years were coming early, and they were going to suck.
By the time she saw Rowan off to the bus and got herself ready for work, her shoulders ached, and she still couldn’t get Graham off her mind. She hated that she’d let herself get too close. And now, she had to go work with Graham’s future sister-in-law because Blake hadn’t been smart when she should have been.
She’d grown up making bad decision after bad decision, and she’d thought she’d moved past that once she became a mother. Apparently, she hadn’t. At all.
“There you are,” Maya said as soon as Blake walked in the door. “It’s about time you showed up.”
Blake raised a brow as the door closed behind her. “Uh, excuse me? I’m like twenty minutes early. What crawled up your butt?”
Maya waved her question away and pointed at the computer. “Autumn is working with Griffin today, and she’s the only one that can use the computer of doom.”
Blake snorted. It was a point of contention at the shop that neither Montgomery could work the computer schedule for long periods of time. The fact that both Austin and Maya were freaking brilliant and could practically code any other computer just made it funnier. Blake was pretty sure the damn thing was possessed and should have been taken out and beaten a-la The Office style, but neither Maya nor Austin would let the damn machine win. Or rather, Maya wouldn’t let the ‘piece of shit technology that was too big for its bytes and britches’ think it could beat a Montgomery. The fact that it was, unfortunately, a piece of artificial intelligence, and therefore, had done nothing at all, was not lost on them. They just chose to ignore that bit.
Autumn, Griffin’s fiancée, could work the damn thing without incident and organized their lives for them. Of course, since Autumn also assisted Griffin with his job as a novelist, Maya had to share.
And Maya hated to share.
Unless it was Jake and Border and sharing between the three of them, but Blake didn’t really want to think about that.
“I don’t know if I will be any help,” Blake said slowly. “It doesn’t always work for me, and you know it. You should just get a computer that works.”
Maya narrowed her eyes. “We will not cow to technology.”
“For the love of all that is holy, do not get her started,” Derek said as he walked into the building from the side door that connected the shop to Taboo, the café next door.
Maya whirled. “Why? Are you afraid of what I’ll say?”
Derek just shook his head and handed her a mug. “Not even going there. And before you hurt me, this is decaf, but yummy according to Hailey next door.”
Maya took the mug in both hands and inhaled while Blake did her best not to laugh. Maya on a good day was a bit crazy, pregnant Maya was a whole other matter.
It was going to be a long few months.
“I’ll look at the computer,” Derek said as he handed Blake a mug for herself. “Just make sure Maya doesn’t kill anyone.”
Blake laughed. “That might be a harder job than the computer of doom.”
“I heard that!” Maya yelled from the office.
Derek snorted but went to work, and Blake just smiled over her mug of hazelnut and whipped cream goodness. Though she’d been worried about becoming friends with those she worked with, she couldn’t help but feel the connections she’d been missing for too long. She could laugh at silly things like computers and coffee and not feel like she was out of the loop. Her life might still be a bit crazy and secretive, but Maya knew about Rowan and hadn’t freaked out. She was pretty sure Maya had told Jake and Border about Rowan, but she hadn’t expected Maya to keep that kind of secret from her men.
Soon, others would know about her daughter, and Blake would just have to deal with that.
As long as her circle kept Rowan safe, it would be okay.
That meant Blake might have to explain a few more things, like why she was so worried about Rowan’s safety. Graham might not have wanted to hear her out, but the others would need to know so they understood why Blake did the things she did.
Maybe if she just told Maya, the other woman would spread the word. Apparently, Maya was good at things like that, but Blake honestly didn’t know where to start.
With a sigh, she went back to her piercing station and looked at her tablet, which would have her schedule for the day. That was, as long as Derek had fixed the computer. She grinned and shook her head. At least, some things were constant.
In the next few hours, she worked on a nose ring, a brow ring, and a set of nipple rings before she figured she should probably take a lunch break. As soon as she stepped out of the room, however, she knew something was wrong.
A man in a suit stood at the front entrance, glaring down at Maya, who wouldn’t let him move past. Derek stood on Maya’s side, doing his best to keep the pregnant woman from hitting the other man, and keeping Maya from getting hurt.
Though there were a couple of clients in the chairs, they were regulars who had also stood up. She wasn’t sure what was going on or what everyone was doing, but Blake knew this was about her.
“Blake Brennen?” the man in the suit asked as he pushed past Maya.
Maya growled and gripped his arm. “No way, buddy. You’re not welcome here.”
The man snarled and looked down at Maya’s arm before pulling away. “Get your hand off me, or I will call the cops on you and this place of business.” The way he’d said place made it sound like he was standing in a grungy bar or a trash heap rather than Montgomery Ink.
“What do you want?” Blake asked, her voice cold. She was damned surprised it didn’t shake, but she couldn’t show weakness, not now.
Not ever.
She’d moved forward, though she didn’t remember doing it, so when he placed an envelope in her hand, she started.
“You’ve been served.” With that, the asshole man in the suit walked away, his head held high, and a growling Derek on his tail.
“What is going on?” Maya asked as she stood in front of Blake. “What is that?”
Blake’s hands shook, the envelope resting on top of her palms shaking with them. She couldn’t breathe, couldn’t speak. She’d known this day would come, that she wouldn’t be able to hide for long.
She’d known the clock had started to go faster once she’d been named in the estate. Chris’s family had been best friends with her family before things had gone to hell. Money spoke, and Blake didn’t have any anymore.
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