by Josie Finch
“And now you’re not going to listen to me when I tell you this is a bad idea?” Warren pressed.
“Oh, this is nothing like dying,” Lettie said casually. “We won’t go deep enough for your soul to leave your body entirely. We’ll just float around between worlds. It’ll just be like being submerged in the night sky or being surrounded by a field of enchanting fireflies.”
“I don’t trust you when you use words like enchanting.”
Lettie’s look turned serious. “It’s not an ideal situation. I’ll give you that. But it’s someone’s life we’re talking about here.” Lettie moved forward and hugged him, the swell of her belly pressing in as she rested her head beneath his chin. “Anything in life worth doing brings some danger with it. Otherwise, what’s the point in living your life… here on earth or anywhere else?”
Warren held her in his arms and knew she was right. Their family had always taken risks. Hell, if Clara hadn’t taken a huge risk all those years ago, Warren wouldn’t even be alive. He really owed it to her to fight for his life, and to fight for the life that Lettie had brought him.
There comes a time for every Fallen angel when they had to decide if they were going to help in the war for Heaven against the Righteous, or live their lives on earth among humans, creating good and fostering the change to make the world a better place. Now, Warren knew he was being given the chance to do both.
“Yeah,” Warren said softly into Lettie’s hair. "I'll do it."
“Great!” Lettie let go of him so fast he almost fell over. “I just need to eat something first.” She spun away in a rush of skirts and hurried off to his kitchen in the small apartment in the back of the studio.
Warren took a few moments after he regained his balance and commanded himself to do nothing but breathe. The top button of his collar was undone but he unclasped the next one down. Lettie was really good at giving a long, detailed account without telling the whole story. Warren knew there was likely something she wasn’t telling him—a danger or catch or loophole that was going to make the next moments of his life completely unpredictable. Maybe even make the rest of his whole damn life completely unpredictable. Warren gave a long sigh and trudged to the back of his studio.
He found Lettie perched on one of the two stools set out next to his rickety kitchen table. She had found some dried deer meat and corn biscuits.
“These are hard as a rock,” Lettie said after a bite of a stale biscuit. “Have you ever heard of gravy?”
“I have butter… somewhere.”
“Bachelor kitchens are a disgrace.”
Warren rummaged in a cupboard. “Don’t remind me.”
“Of your kitchen or your bachelorhood?”
Warren didn’t answer, just set a bowl of buttercream on the table and went to hunt down a knife.
Lettie gnawed on some jerky. “You know, angels can fall in love with both women and men here on earth. I would think that would give you a better chance.”
“Humans have really stupid rules about who you can fall in love with,” Warren stated, handing his sister a butter knife.
“Still,” she said. “You’ve traveled all over the country and met so many people… human, angels, mixed. And not a single one wanted to hang around for a while?”
“You’re the one making me have your baby, let’s not have a lecture about settling down.”
Lettie sighed. “I told you we’ll find someone else to take her.”
Warren paused, and then said quietly, “What if I want to keep her?”
“You want to give Clara a reason to come back to earth to see her new niece?” Lettie smirked. When Warren didn’t respond, her face fell. “Oh, no. You’re serious.”
“Yes, Lettie. What do you expect when you asked me to do all this?”
Lettie put her palm to her forehead. “Augh! Well, I didn’t expect you to have an existential crisis.”
“It’s not an existential crisis, it’s doing the right thing,” Warren said.
Lettie sighed. “You’ve lived on earth your entire life and yet you’re more of an angel than I am.”
Warren rolled his eyes. “I’ll take that as a compliment.”
Lettie glared over the last biscuit before handing it to him. “Here. You should eat too.”
Warren took the offering even though he wasn’t feeling hungry.
The conversation lulled over the small table and the two became lost in their own thoughts as they ate.
Warren knew his family lived adventurous lives in other worlds. Lettie was a soldier and Clara could save souls—one of the most powerful things an angel could do. His sisters had devoted their lives to the centuries-long war, searching for the keys to Heaven, fighting against the Righteous Angels who hated Fallen Angels, taking the risk of dying for the cause even though they didn’t know where their souls were going to go if they did. After all that, raising a child on earth seemed like a calm, easy endeavor.
But, Warren though, not just anywhere on earth. He lived in the west, where the edge of polite society frayed at the hem. The dangers might not be Righteous angels, but the life out here was hard. Lawlessness and illnesses. Hot summers and never enough money. On top of that, Warren would have to raise her alone.
Having always been alone, the idea shouldn’t have scared him. But surviving alone was different from being responsible for another life. A bachelor could run out of money and live on stale corn biscuits and deer jerky until he found work in the next new town. A family meant he would have to settle down, find a stable trade, and plan a future for himself and his child.
Warren had never thought about the future. He had always lived his life in the moment, looking only at what was in front of his camera lens. He left the fight for the future and the afterlife to his family. But now…
Lettie broke Warren from his thoughts with a gentle hand on his wrist.
“Ready?”
Warren hesitated. “Shouldn’t you… get some sleep? Are you sure you’re strong enough?”
She gave a soft smile. “Neither of us would be able to sleep. And I need to make the most of the energy I have left right now.”
“Makes me wish I’d had more than just deer jerky and old biscuits laying around.”
“Lesson learned for next time.”
“Let’s get this time over with before we start making any plans,” Warren said.
“All right, all right. C’mon.”
Warren stood up. He glanced to his front door. “Should I lock that before we leave?”
Lettie sighed. “We’ll only be gone a minute. Come here.”
Warren moved to stand in front of his sister. “Do we need to… chant or sing… or something?”
“No,” Lettie said, wrinkling her nose. “Humans are weird with that stuff. All you have to do is breathe.”
Just breathe. Warren wasn’t sure he could trust himself enough to do even that. Everything was happening so fast. He should have insisted on more time to think. This was a bad, bad idea.
No, he told himself. You have to do this. You’re going to do this. You can. He clamped down his emotions and let out a long breath.
“Good,” Lettie said. “Now, this doesn’t exactly hurt, but… it can be kind of intense.”
She wrapped one arm around his waist and pressed her right hand flat on his chest. Warren could feel his heart thud against her warm, solid touch.
“Are you going to count to three?” Warren asked.
Lettie bit her lip. “Mmm. Nope.”
All at once Warren felt like Lettie had pressed the weight of the entire world into his chest. Warren tried to breathe but he couldn’t. Everything in existence vanished. He felt cold. A rush of water, or maybe wind, enveloped his whole body. In the next moment he felt the cold deep in his muscles, and he felt aches in his joints. Somehow he knew Lettie was still there with him. He didn’t want to let her down when she needed him. He needed to breathe.
Warm air burst into his lungs and the next thing Warren kne
w he was standing again, gulping in the sweet air.
Warren felt like he was waking up from a dream. He should be back in his photography studio, alone, packing his things. But he wasn’t. He was in a house he didn’t recognize wearing clothes that weren’t his, and his sister was holding his shoulders barely keeping him from falling over.
“Are you all right?” she asked. Her voice was crisp in his ears.
Warren steadied himself. “I don’t know.”
“Well, figure it out. We’re in trouble.”
Warren shook his head, trying to focus. He looked around. They were standing in the entryway of what looked like a mansion, with rich brown woodwork, draperies of maroon and dark greens, and gold finishings.
Lettie stood in front of him wearing a decadent royal blue dress with layers of black lace and velvet gloves to her elbows. Her lips were painted blood red and her blonde hair was done up in a swirl. Warren could see she still had the pregnant swell of her stomach beneath the finery.
Warren ran his hands down his sides. The dark brown suit he had on was so fitted he felt like a different person.
This was nothing like Lettie had described. There was no night sky. No enchanting fireflies. They weren't floating somewhere between worlds. They had landed somewhere.
“Lettie…”
“Yeah, so. I thought this might happen.”
“Excuse me?”
“I’ve never taken three people with me before,” Lettie said. “We went to deep.”
“We aren’t on earth?”
“No,” she answered. “We aren't.”
“How long can I be away?”
“For someone who doesn't travel interdimensionally very often... not long.” Lettie tugged on the lapel of his suit. “But we have to get out of here before someone sees us. Come on.”
Warren followed her up the staircase. He prayed they were running away from trouble and not into it.
The top of the staircase gave way to a long corridor with countless doors along either side. The lush carpeting muted their footsteps as Warren ran after his sister. She stopped and pressed her gloved hand on the smooth wood in the center of one of the doors and listened.
Warren caught the sound of a doorknob turning and he realized it was coming from the door behind them in the corridor. In a flash, Lettie grabbed Warren’s hand and dragged him down the hall.
Warren ignored the sharp pain in his shoulder as she pulled him after her and he did his best not to trip as they ran. For a woman nine months pregnant and dressed in velvet she was strong—and fast.
They burst through a door at the end of the hall and she slammed it shut behind them. She turned the heavy lock and it sank into place with a dull thud.
Warren spun around to see a room filled with luxurious furniture. On the opposite end of the room stood open balcony doors with curtains fluttering in the breeze. The room was cold and they were alone.
“Well, they definitely heard the door, so we better get out of here.” She started toward the open doors.
“And how are we going to do that?”
“We’re going to jump off the balcony,” she said, rushing toward the open balcony doors.
“What?”
“It’s fine. I’ve done it before. Hurry up.”
Warren heard the heavy doorknob behind him rattle. He ran after Lettie and wrestled his way through the curtains to the balcony. A vista of mist-covered mountains greeted him, but he didn’t have time to take in the view.
“Lettie! I don’t think we should jump off the balcony if the reason we got in this mess in the first place is because you can’t travel with three people.”
“It’ll be easier going back to earth. Besides,” she paused long enough for Warren to hear the sound of someone very strong throwing their entire weight against the door to the room. “We don’t have another option.”
Warren chanced a glance over the balcony. They were positioned over a divide in the mountains. Directly below was a chasm so deep he couldn't see the bottom.
The sound of a tremendous blow to the door erupted in the room.
“Is it the Righteous?” Warren asked.
“Yes,” Lettie answered. “Listen. I’m going to send you and the baby back to earth. The Righteous can’t follow you there. I can’t come with you, though.”
“Why not?”
“I’m going to lure them somewhere we can have a fair fight,” Lettie said. “I need to eliminate them, not just keep running away.”
“Lettie, please,” Warren pleaded.
The doorframe cracked.
“I’m not afraid. I can do this.” Lettie closed the glass doors to the balcony and swung the latch down. “But not without your help. There’s no way I can fight with the second soul inside me.”
“We’ve been over this, Lettie, just tell me what to do.”
“Ok, ok. We jump, I make the transfer on the way down. You land on earth. And I get to work.”
“And you’re sure you can do all that in one jump?” Warren asked breathlessly.
“Yes. Climb up and give me a hand.”
There was about a foot and a half of surface on the edge of the stone balcony. Warren climbed up and took a moment to steady his footing. Standing on the ledge made him feel dizzy. The thought of the treacherous drop below seemed to claw at his entire body with invisible fingers. The cold air smelled like ice and he breathed deep to keep his courage. Warren gave his sister a hand up.
Her skirts swished over the edge of the balcony as she turned to him. Her eyes were wide and her cheeks flushed. It was the closest thing Warren had ever seen his little sister get to looking scared. But the determination never left. She ripped off a velvet glove with her teeth and dropped it over the edge.
She watched the glove drop and disappear into the abyss then turned to Warren, grabbing his hands.
“Okay, look. I was going to wait to tell you this because you’re all sentimental and take things too seriously, but now I might not get a chance to tell you before you have her.”
“What is it?” Warren asked.
“Leona-Pearl.”
Warren blinked hard. “Huh?”
“Her name. Her name is Leona-Pearl. If you want to keep her angelic name.”
Before Warren could say anything, the doors rattled behind them and Warren thought he was going to have a heart attack.
“Time to go,” Lettie said. She tightened her hold on his hands. “I need you to think of the most powerful reason you have to make it back to earth. Got something?
“Yes,” Warren answered. “Got it.”
“This time I will count to three,” Lettie said “One—two—three!”
The sound of breaking glass exploded behind them as they jumped.
The free fall into the cold felt like dying. Even when Warren had actually died and Clara had to pull him back, he hadn’t felt this terrified. But everything—the fear, the cold, the fall—strangled and stilled. Warmth cradled him, and with it blossomed the feeling of arriving home after a difficult journey.
Warren wasn’t sure he was in his body but he knew he was not falling anymore. He didn’t know how he opened his eyes if he didn’t have a body. But somehow he shed the fear and hesitation and he opened himself up to the most astonishing place he had ever been. Darkness and light at once, this place was more beautiful than anything he had ever imagined. Enchanting didn’t even come close to describing where he was. There were no earthly words to describe this place. It felt as though he were existing inside every perfect summer night he had been blessed enough to witness on earth. He wanted to keep them with him there forever.
But that was not possible.
A pain, hot and thin like a papercut seared through his soul. A bright light exploded around him.
Then, nothingness.
Just... nothingness.
For a moment, Warren thought he had died. But he somehow managed to realize he couldn’t have died if he were thinking he had. He was still there, he just d
idn’t know where there was.
The feeling he had of not being able to breathe had returned, but it felt more intense than the first time. Warren wasn't sure he was strong enough to pull them both through. He had no idea what he was doing.
He remembered what Lettie had told him: I need you to think of the most powerful reason you have to make it back to Earth.
Her name is Leona-Pearl.
Warren couldn't see. He couldn't breathe, he couldn't feel a soul inside of him. Somehow, he knew he was still there, he could still pull through. He had to. He refused to be the reason they both perished.
Her name is Leona-Pearl. Her name is Leona-Pearl and I have to make it back to earth for her.
The first breath of crisp winter air to finally fill Warren’s lungs felt like Heaven on earth. He gasped the air hot into the night, and the smoke rose and disappeared. The cold drove over his skin like pelting raindrops.
Warren felt his knees tremble and give out from under him. He put his hands out to keep himself from falling and missed. His face smashed square into a solid rock.
Warren held back all the curse words in the world as he stumbled to the ground holding his face. Hot blood seeped through his fingers. Warren gasped through the pain. At least the pain meant he had a body. The pain meant he had landed back on earth.
Warren used his shirtsleeve to stop the blood. He felt his nose and cheekbones and realized he didn’t have a bloody nose, but he did have a good slice across the bridge of his nose.
As he held his sleeve to his face he became aware of how cold it was. Not just cold. Freezing. Much colder than California.
Warren blinked hard and looked around. Headstones stood around him, slumbering in the frigid night. Confused, Warren looked down to see he was sitting before two stones—he had hit his face on the tall obelisk in between them. He blinked hard and read the names.
George and Minnie Harting.
Warren’s parents.
“Oh, no,” Warren said out loud, muffled through his shirtsleeve.
“I’m in Kansas.”
Warren instinctively wrapped his arm around his abdomen, one hand coming to rest protectively under the swell of taut skin. He could a feel a spot where the thin material of his shirt had torn.