“Why don’t you go into the cottage and lie down for a while?” suggested Hazel.
“I don’t know.” Willow felt apprehensive about leaving the girl alone. Hazel had some apparent fears and problems, and Willow wasn’t sure what the girl was capable of doing.
“I won’t be going anywhere if that is what worries you.” Hazel smiled and wiped the back of her hand against her cheek, leaving a smudge of dirt. “There is so much to be done here, that I could stay here for a month and never leave. It makes me happy.”
“An hour or two is all we have for today, but mayhap I can convince Conrad to let you come here for a short while every day.”
“Oh, would you?” Hazel’s eyes lit up and sparkled in the sun. “I would like that, Willow. Thank you for being my friend.”
“Of course,” she said, making her way up the stairs. “Just call out if you need me. I’m going to close my eyes for only a few minutes.”
Willow entered the house and stopped in her tracks when she noticed the rumpled bedcovers, knowing what made them that way. Visions of Conrad’s naked chest lodged in her mind, as well as the feeling of heat spiraling through her as he kissed her in the most intimate places. Her body vibrated for him, but she realized that what they almost did was not the way a proper lady acted. She had lost control. That was something that had never happened before when it came to men. Always being careful to pull them in with interest and then back away before anything happened, she wondered why she had no willpower to stop when she was with Conrad.
Strolling over to the bed, she sat down, running her hand along the covers. Then she laid down and buried her nose in the pillow. His scent of pine and leather filled her senses, making her want to cry because she could not have him. It was wrong, she told herself, closing her eyes, squeezing them shut and feeling the tears trapped beneath her lids.
“Why didn’t he want me?” she murmured to herself, never feeling so empty and rejected in all her life. Without meaning to, she drifted off to sleep, finding herself in the presence of her late mentor again.
“Willow, what are you doing?” came Imanie’s scolding voice.
In her sleep, she sat up, seeing the old woman standing at the foot of the bed.
“Imanie. You’re here,” she said, trying to figure out why the woman had come to her again from the grave.
“Of course, I’m here. This is my home. And now that you’re here, I want to know what you’re going to do about it.”
“About what?” she asked, thinking at first that she was talking about her tryst with Conrad. Imanie clucked her tongue and shook a scolding finger.
“I’m not talking about him,” she said as if she’d read Willow’s mind. “And where that is concerned, you need to stop tempting him like that. It is not becoming of a lady.”
“I didn’t tempt him.”
“Didn’t you, now?” Imanie raised an eyebrow the way she always used to do when she knew Willow was lying.
“Oh, all right, so I did. But I really wanted to make love to him, so it wasn’t just teasing him like he claims it was.”
“Men don’t have the control that women do when it comes to the bedchamber. Of course, from what I witnessed, you don’t have it either.”
“Witnessed?” Willow held her hand to her bodice, clutching it tightly to her. “You were watching us?”
“I’m a spirit, Willow. I can go anywhere and see anything, and don’t you forget it. What is going to happen to Conrad when your father gets home and finds out what happened?”
“What do you mean? He won’t find out.”
“Who all knows about it?” the old woman asked.
“Just Conrad and me.”
“That’s all?”
She thought about it for a moment and shook her head. “And Hazel. And Conrad’s squire, Toby, as well.”
“Men aren’t good at keeping secrets. Even if it’s not intentional, you need to realize Toby will probably let the secret out.”
“What can I do about it, Imanie? How can I keep Conrad from being punished by my father? It wasn’t his fault.”
“That’s not what Hazel thinks. And you did nothing to correct her.”
“Oh, Imanie, I wasn’t thinking. I need to figure out something to help Conrad. My father can never know.”
“The only thing that could stop that from happening is if you were married to the man. Then it wouldn’t matter.”
“Marry Conrad?” The mere thought made her heart flutter faster.
“You like him and have feelings for him, don’t you?”
“Why, yes. However, I don’t think he feels the same way about me. After all, he left me on the edge of release when I needed him the most.”
“And don’t you think that hurt him even more than it did you?”
“Then why did he pull away so abruptly?”
“Don’t be daft, Willow. He did it to save your name and reputation. What would happen if he’d taken your virginity and then you were betrothed to someone else? No man is stupid enough not to know that his wife isn’t a virgin on her wedding night.”
“Imanie, I feel so horrible about what happened. I wasn’t thinking. I need to make it up to Conrad.”
“That’s fine, but what you should really be thinking about right now is finding the thief who stole the ruby.”
“The earl’s ruby? Why me?”
“Willow, did I teach you nothing? You have been chosen by the late queen to be a Follower of the Secret Hearts. You need to prove to the others in the group, as well as to yourself, that Philippa didn’t make a mistake by putting you in this position.”
“Nay, she didn’t make a mistake.” Willow touched the golden heart brooch pinned to her gown. She never went anywhere without wearing it. Perhaps she wasn’t doing what her late queen would have wanted her to do. Willow needed to be more like Fia, and do something to help someone as well. “What can I do?” asked Willow.
“You can stop thinking so much about yourself and, instead, help Earl Alnwick find that ruby. If he doesn’t have the ruby to give to the king, he is going to lose his castle. Do you think John of Gaunt will try to make alliances with the Scots, the way the earl wants to do?”
“Nay, I don’t. Getting that ruby to the king is essential. The fate of two nations might depend on it. Mayhap I can talk to my cousin, Richard, and convince him to let the earl keep his castle.”
“Do you really believe Richard would do that if there was nothing in it for him?”
Imanie’s question hit her hard. Willow suddenly felt as if she’d been selfish, and was no better than her greedy cousin. There was so much more at stake here. “Nay,” said Willow. “Richard will not help him without the ruby in trade. I promise I will use any means possible and find the gemstone and help the earl. I am a Follower of the Secret Hearts and just as strong as Fia.”
“Then prove it, Willow, because everyone thinks you are a spoiled girl who believes she is better than anyone else and only thinks of herself.”
“That’s not true.”
“Hazel is pulling weeds. Why don’t you prove that statement to yourself and go help her.”
The thought of getting down in the dirt and pulling weeds horrified Willow. “I am a noble,” she cried. “I wasn’t meant to do manual labor.”
“Hazel is a noble as well, but yet you see how happy it makes her doing something to beautify the earth. She doesn’t feel it is beneath her to do such a task.”
“But Hazel is different. She’s . . . odd.”
“Mayhap, there is something you can learn from the girl. Now stop judging her and start changing or Sir Conrad will never want you for his wife.”
“Imanie, wait,” she said, sitting up in bed, looking around the room, sure the vision was real. Through the open door, she saw Hazel on her hands and knees at Imanie’s grave. A pile of weeds grew higher and higher at her side. Hazel reached up and wiped her brow, never letting her concentration leave the task she was committed to doing.
Willow got out of bed and walked over to the door, holding on to the doorjamb as she struggled with her decision. Part of her wanted to help Hazel, but another part of her felt disgusted, knowing this was not the work of a noblewoman.
Then Imanie’s last words made her reconsider. The woman was right. If Conrad thought she was naught but spoiled, he would never want her for his wife. And not only that, but she needed to figure out a way to find the ruby or the fate of two nations might be doomed.
“I have work to do,” she said aloud, reaching to her shoulder to remove her attached tippets. The sleeves of a noblewoman’s gown were detachable so they wouldn’t get dirty. And if a dress started to look worn, the sleeves could be added to a new gown altogether. Willow had never rooted around in the mud like a pig before. She wasn’t sure what was going to happen once she started pulling weeds, but she was about to find out.
Conrad rode through the gate of the secret garden, squinting in the sun, not sure what was going on. Willow’s horse was tethered to a nearby tree, and he thought he heard laughing and singing coming from behind a big pile of weeds. He slipped off his horse and tied it to the tree, keeping his eyes focused across the garden. A crooked path cleared of weeds led across the yard. He followed it, approaching slowly, recognizing his sister’s voice as well as Willow’s singing a cheery song he had never heard before.
He walked up to the pile of weeds almost as tall as him, peeking around it curiously. “Hello?” Conrad stepped out into the open to find both Hazel and Willow sitting on the ground in the dirt.
“Conrad,” exclaimed Willow, jumping to her feet with weeds in her grasp. Her hair was disheveled, and dirt streaked her face. If he wasn’t mistaken, he swore he saw a bead of perspiration on her brow. Her gown was filthy. Her crown sat atop a nearby rock. But the oddest part that made him laugh was the fact that Willow had removed the tippets of her dress and had bare arms up to her shoulders since she didn’t wear a chemise beneath her gown.
“Brother, how nice to see you,” said Hazel from the ground. She reached out and brushed away dirt from a ring of rocks that outlined Imanie’s grave. “How do you like what we did? Now, we’ll always know where poor, old Imanie is buried, no matter how high the weeds get.”
“Willow?” Conrad wondered if the girl had gone mad. “What are you doing on the ground in the dirt? And without your sleeves?”
“I’m helping your sister pull weeds.” She held up a handful of weeds and dropped them atop the pile.
“I can see that.” He walked around her, eying her up and down. This didn’t seem like the same girl he knew. “I heard you both singing and laughing when I walked up. Have you been drinking wine or, perhaps, whisky?”
“Conrad, how can you say such a thing?” asked Hazel. “We were just having fun.”
“Fun,” Conrad repeated, nodding and trying to comprehend what was going on here. He was sure Willow had never dug in the dirt in her life and wouldn’t be caught dead doing what she considered was the work of servants. He expected this odd behavior from his sister, but not from Willow. He didn’t understand it.
“You should try it, said Willow with a smile. “Hazel said gardening helps her to relax and forget about her problems. It makes her happy and calm. I didn’t believe it until I tried it for myself. It really does work.” She scratched the side of her face, leaving a long streak of dirt in its place.
“You two never should have left the castle. Come on, Hazel, we’re going back.” He pulled his sister to a standing position and noticed the smile disappear from her face.
“But I’m not finished yet. Just look at all the weeds that need to be pulled. And after that, I want to trim the bushes and thin out some of the lilies. I was thinking of even planting a few radishes since they grow fast and will thrive in the approaching cold weather.”
“Hazel, brush off your clothes and meet us by the horses. Willow, I’d like a word with you in the house please.”
“Of course,” said Willow, picking up her crown and placing it on her head cockeyed. He followed her inside the cottage where she picked up her tippets and started to button them back on. “This is difficult to do by myself. Would you mind helping me?”
“Willow,” he said, taking one of her sleeves and securing it as he spoke. “Why did you come here with Hazel?”
“She was very upset when the crowds starting pushing and yelling. She was crying, and I thought she was about to pass out. Did you know her body was trembling until we got away from everyone and were halfway to the secret garden?”
“Hazel has a lot of fears. That is why I am securing a place at your father’s castle for her. I don’t know how to help her. I think being around your mother will be good for her.”
“You’re pushing her away when you should be pulling her closer. You are all she has, Conrad. She is still very upset about the death of your parents, especially your mother.”
“And so am I,” he told her. “Hazel is frail and not at all well. You should never have brought her here. She needs to stay in her chamber and be monitored at all times. I’m afraid I have been too lenient with her and now look what’s happened.”
“But all she needs is to be noticed, Conrad. Not locked away and hidden as if she were addled.”
“Willow, you don’t understand. Hazel needs help, and I don’t have the time to give her the care she needs. I have not only a castle to run, but also a small army at my command waiting for me to return to Scarborough. Once I have a wife, things will be different. But for now, I need her to go with your father to live at Naward. And if your father changes his mind, then I will have no choice but to put her in a convent for her own safekeeping. At least there, I will know she is safe and being watched over at all times.”
“Nay! I don’t want to go to a convent. And neither do I want to live in Naward,” came Hazel’s voice from the door.
“Hazel,” said Conrad in surprise. “How long have you been standing there?”
“Long enough to hear that I’m naught but a thorn in your side and that you can’t wait to get rid of me.” Crying, the girl ran across the garden toward the horses.
“What is the matter with you?” yelled Willow, yanking the other sleeve from Conrad’s hand. “All the poor girl wants is your attention – anyone’s attention, and you want to hide her away like she’s a leper or something.”
“That’s not true, now calm down. I only want to help her.”
“If that’s the truth, then make her feel special. Show her you care about her and stop pushing her away as if you are embarrassed that she is your sister.”
“Willow,” he said under his breath, wetting his lips. This was a very uncomfortable situation. “You don’t understand. Hazel isn’t like you or me or anyone else. She has certain . . . problems. There are things that I don’t even understand. You have no idea.”
“Well, I would like to know her better and wish you would try to get closer to her as well.”
Conrad groaned and wiped his hand over his face. He didn’t have time for this. “I don’t want to talk about this right now. And I don’t want you bringing my sister here to sit in the dirt again. Do you understand?”
“Oh, I understand all right. If someone doesn’t act the way you want them to, then you push them away and try to forget anything ever happened at all.”
“You’re not talking about Hazel anymore, are you? You are talking about what happened to us in this very room.”
“You can’t keep pushing away the people who care about you, because if you don’t stop it, you are going to end up with no one.”
“This is nonsense. I don’t push people away. Now, I won’t hear another word. The earl’s ruby has been stolen. We need to get back to the castle anon. There is a thief out there somewhere, and there is no telling how dangerous he is. I don’t want you or Hazel going off on your own again.”
“Don’t worry about the thief, I am going to catch him and make sure the ruby is returned to the earl.”
“Stop talking nonsense.”
“Nonsense, is it? Perhaps, you don’t think I’m capable of doing such a thing?”
“I don’t know, and neither do I want to. Now, get to your horse and –”
He stopped in midsentence when he heard the sound of hoofbeats leaving the garden. “Damn,” he spat, running to the door. “Hazel just left. I need to catch her before she does something stupid.”
“There you go again. Now you are calling your sister stupid.”
“We’ll talk about this later. I have to catch up to her.” He ran for the horse with Willow right on his heels. He mounted and was about to leave when he realized Willow was stranded there. “Give me your hand,” he said, leaning over and reaching out for her.
“Nay.” She clutched the tippets and backed away. “I’m not going to ride with you.”
“It’s that, or you’ll stay here by yourself since we’ve only got the one horse now. So, give me your hand and hurry up about it.”
She stubbornly resisted. “I’ll stay here by myself, I don’t care. But I’m not riding with you.”
“Woman, you try my patience!” Conrad reached down and grabbed her under the arms, lifting her up and plopping her down in front of him atop the horse.
“Careful!” she cried out. “I almost lost my crown.” Her hand went to her crown to secure it. “If you think I’m riding into the castle without my sleeves and with dirt streaked across my face, then you’ve got another guess coming.”
Conrad turned the horse and headed out of the secret garden, holding his arm around Willow’s waist even though she struggled and dug her fingers into his arm trying to get loose.
“Aye, that’s the Willow I know. I wondered where she went.” Holding her close so she wouldn’t fall, he directed his horse into a run to catch up with his sister. Once again, being Willow’s guardian was proving to be exhausting, and he didn’t know how much longer he could keep this up.
Chapter 13
“Where were you last night, Lochwood?” asked Sir Chester the next morning, as he and Sir George met Conrad in the corridor just outside Willow’s room. Conrad’s squire was nowhere to be found. Because of it, Conrad overslept. He hoped Willow and Hazel were ready because he was starved and didn’t want to miss the first meal of the day.
Seductive Secrets (Secrets of the Heart Series Book 2) Page 12