by Lynn Vroman
“Should have never what?” My hand moved to push the hair from my face when I glanced down at her, but stopped right before my dirty fingers had a chance to give me an outhouse makeover.
She wrung her hands, tears coating her eyelashes. “Told you Cassondra sought revenge.”
“So I could be blindsided when she came to kill me? Gee, thanks.”
Her whimpers turned to sobs. “She was not seeking revenge, Lena.”
Rage, blinding and black, made my hands shake. The only reason I came to Empyrean was the imminent threat from Cassondra. I’d have stayed away and ignored Avery’s desire to close the lines–lived by the goddamn rules! Because of a lie, an entire world suffered. “Why would you…”
“Because I needed your help! The lines, they must be–”
“You should’ve told me what you really wanted.” I stepped closer to her whimpering form, wanting to hit her. Worse. “Or stayed the fuck away! This, all of it, is your fault.”
“I’m so very sorry.”
My hands raked through my hair anyway, an action better than tearing her face apart. “Everything that has happened could’ve been avoided if you told me the goddamn truth.”
Tears tracked clean paths down her dirty face, which did nothing more than strengthen the urge to slap her. “I was so desperate.”
“Desperate?” I backed away from her. “Teenesee, her people, they don’t deserve this. All these deaths are on your shoulders. Live with that.” I shifted my satchel and concentrated on the opening. “Stop crying.”
She didn’t respond, and I didn’t expect her to.
A few more minutes ticked by before Wilma stuck her head in to give us the all clear. I waved for Avery to go first, in case her weak arms couldn’t pull her up. The long drop would probably do her some damage. Hard to admit, but we needed her. After this? Well, she and her watchdog would need to find somewhere else to hide.
As soon as she made it up about five feet, I started to climb, prepared to stop a fall. She slipped a few times, but finally made it to the top. Nicolette bent down to help drag her out. As soon as she was out of the way, I scaled the brackets quickly, jumping out into a pitch-black alley, except for our glowing suits.
I whispered, “What’s next?”
Wilma swooped over and grabbed my elbow. She held a finger to her lips, shaking her head.
I nodded, swallowing hard. Even though darkness blanketed us, it couldn’t hide the crying and distant screams. The smell… Worse than the sewer. Smoke stung my eyes as the stench, like road kill on a sweltering August day, slammed into me. I slapped a hand over my nose, my eyes watering.
They were burning the bodies.
I stumbled until I found an object to lean against, trying hard not to double over or crawl back into the sewer. I had no clue what I held onto, but it was metal and cool, a relief from the hot, suffocating smoke. The town’s buoyancy didn’t help matters either, the swaying ground cheering on my roiling stomach. Wilma grabbed my shoulders, her eyes pleading with me, her lips a thin line. I locked on her face, the smoke squeezing my lungs. Horror softened to revulsion until blessed shock kicked in. After raising my thumb, Wilma let go, motioning for everyone to gather around.
In quick, sharp hand gestures, Wilma told us to go to the left, make a right, and stay quiet. She jabbed a finger at Farren, indicating he’d bring up the rear. At his nod, Wilma pointed to Nicolette, flattened her palm, and used two fingers to show her flanking Avery and me. When everyone nodded our understanding, she took the lead, sliding against the wall of some shop. Drawing our guns, we moved forward.
We slinked to the end of the alley, our boots soundless against the cobblestone. Wilma waved for us to stay against the wall as she peered around the corner. Her head whipped back, and she turned off her suit. We followed her lead and reached under our armpits as Protectors waltzed by, joking like they were out for a night of clubbing. One stopped right by the alley, scratching his head. As he turned toward the entry, searching with a small light, Wilma waved her hand in front of his face.
Another came up to slap him on the back. Wilma waved her other hand. “Hey, what’s the deal, man?”
“Don’t you feel that?”
The other guy stopped for a second, looking straight at us. “Nope. We gotta go. Cassondra wants everyone back in fifteen.”
They both gave one more direct look at us, causing my breath to hitch. I wanted to scream, run…shoot them, but I stayed as quiet and still as everyone else. As the group moved on, Wilma dropped her hands, only to bend and grab her knees, breathing heavy.
I rubbed her shoulder, feeling her tremble underneath my fingers. “You okay?”
Shit, how’d she do that? From what I knew, persuasion didn’t work on Exemplians, retired or otherwise. She was stronger than I thought.
She looked up at me, face pale and sweaty. “Yeah, give me a minute.”
I waited for her to catch her breath. If my heart refused to slow down, there was a good chance I might keel over.
Once Wilma straightened, she brushed a shaky hand through her hair and looked past me to the others. “You all hear what he said?”
“We got problems.” Farren squeezed his gun tighter, his fingertips white.
“No shit.” Wilma gestured toward Avery. “Why the hell are you smiling? You miss Cassondra, do you?”
Avery, who up to this point acted like a helpless kitten, shook her head and stood taller. “I do not miss her in the least. On the contrary, I’d as soon gut her with a fishing knife. No, there is some good from her being here.”
Wilma rolled her eyes. “Such as?”
“No one is monitoring the screens. Oh, I’m sure this dimension is under scrutiny, but Arcus and Earth are safe. Synod elders worry about this war, not what might be happening in places where Lena dwells. They do not seek personal revenge.”
That… Well that actually made me happy. Not happy enough to forgive her for starting a war, but relieved, nonetheless.
Wilma turned on her suit, and we did the same. “Okay.” She pointed left. “One stop and we move on to the nest. Lena and Avery should start to feel it at about a half-mile from this point.”
Avery gave her Protector a quick glance. The exchange made me nervous. She hid something else, and whatever it was, it’d be bad. When this was over, I’d have a hard time not killing her. Yet, after I told everyone what she’d done, I may have to wait in line.
As we walked through the deserted town, the once quaint and pretty shops now burnt warned us to stop and turn around. The screams died down, but crying echoed within the recesses of the buildings. These people lost everything and now had to suffer by watching the mounds of sheet-covered bodies burning right there on the sidewalks. The stench coming from the charred remains became too much, and I couldn’t make it to a more discreet place before my stomach gave up. I fell to my knees. Dry heaves attacking after nothing else came.
Wilma scooped me up and didn’t let go until I could stand. “Keep it together, damn it.”
All I could do was nod as I wiped the leftover vomit from my cheek. She continued forward, and I let Avery and Nicolette go ahead of me. Farren still took up the rear, prodding me if I slowed down.
Just… Damn.
All that talk, all that shit I said to the Protectors and Teenesee, all the confidence I faked… I couldn’t fake it here. Not with dead bodies reminding me of how totally scared I was for their surviving families. My family.
Then Cara pushed through the fear.
Please, please, please, let her be alive.
I covered my nose as we kept to the shadows. When we got closer, I recognized where we were. The same area Farren opened the portal. Which meant one of the lookalike homes lining the streets in Empyrean’s main village was Cara’s. I searched my brain, trying to remember exactly which house she lived in, but didn’t have to wonder long. Farren took the lead, running in a direct path to her doorstep.
I jogged up behind him, shirking Wilma’s ha
nd when she reached out to stop me. She wasn’t that serious to hold me back, though. One flick of her hand and I’d have been a pissed off statue.
Farren used his sleeve to wipe the dirt from the window. When I looked through the spot he cleared, my heart raced. There she was, reading a hologram book on that bright orange couch, smiling.
“She’s okay!”
Farren shook his head.
“Of course, she is. Look.” I tapped on the window, but she didn’t look up. After the second tap, I noticed her body flicker–like a hologram. A man walked in from the kitchen, holding two steaming mugs. His body flickered, too.
“The window blockers are still up,” Farren said.
As fast as the elation came, it flew away, forcing me to hold onto the sill before my knees gave out.
Farren stalked to the door to find it unlocked. He disappeared through the entryway, and in seconds, his face met mine through the glass. When he shook his head, face drawn, I stumbled backward until I tripped over the burned heap in front of her house. The mounds on this street were not complete ash. Careless Protectors didn’t stick around to make sure fires took. But the pile grew larger. Kneeling, I lifted the half-burned sheet.
“No, Lena, don’t.” Wilma’s hand covered mine.
I lifted my chin, pleading with her. “I have to.”
She stared at me for a while before pulling her hand away. As Farren came over and hunched beside me, I lifted the fabric, sobs choking me. What I found brought me closer to the ground as I fell to the cobblestone slicked with ash. Charred bones and skulls with melted strings of hair. Tarnished jewelry wrapped around cindered wrists and blackened rings melted around fingers whose skin had not quite disintegrated. One ring I recognized, the delicate design not yet burned away.
“Oh, God.” On the inside, I screamed, but my voice remained a whisper. I tore my blurred gaze from the ring to what Cara held clutched in her arms. The screams inside echoed out, filling the quiet streets, matching the heartache in the distance. Her little girl wrapped in cloth, and by some miracle not touched by the fire, lay on Cara’s concaved chest.
I covered my ears and shut my eyes. “No, no, no, no, no…”
Someone clamped a hand over my mouth and dragged me against a solid chest. Hot breath smacked against the hand over my ear. “Quiet, Lena. Please. I’m sorry…please.”
Farren’s plea cut through the torment wreaking havoc on my brain. I wished the shock would come back. Please come back! His hand didn’t leave my mouth until I stopped whaling.
I hated it, the influx of pain, misery, defeat. “We should’ve never went in there. We killed them…We killed them…We killed them.”
“No.” His voice hitched, cracking.
I searched the faces in front of me. All had despair radiating from their eyes. I found Wilma and reached for her. She rushed to me, picking me off the ground, and keeping me wrapped in her arms. She whispered unintelligible words until the first waves subsided.
Wilma pulled away, her face an angry mask. “Do you feel it?” She flattened a hand against my stomach. “In here, can you feel it bubbling?”
Ripples of pure rage, the need for revenge, circulated through me. I nodded, my tears drying, my eyes gritty. I felt it. Hate. So raw, so potent, I could live off it, be sustained by it.
“Use it. Own it. And let’s go get those bastards.”
The hatred took over, sealing off my heart, making me stronger. I didn’t care anymore about black and white and the gray area in between. Farren was wrong. Black and white…there was nothing else. I now understood who I used to be and why. No doubts remained. I knew her, and I wanted what she wanted.
Tarek once told me living the same life over and over again turned most Exemplians hard, immune to feelings. Past Lena’s apathy prevented her from doing what I knew in my heart she wished she would’ve done.
I didn’t have that problem.
I would kill every single one of them.
EVERYTHING
Avery felt it before I did. Static didn’t cloud my brain until we were almost on top of the nest, which happened to be the only building not charred or ransacked.
Nest.
Right.
I didn’t know what I expected, but a building wasn’t it. A building that took up an entire block. From the statue of Teenesee–broken and crumbling–gracing the tiny yard, I assumed it to be the equivalent of the courthouse. A few Protectors patrolled the outside, some sitting on the stone steps leading up to the main doors. Others took their job a bit more seriously, walking the perimeter.
We hid a block down, inside what used to be a tavern with upturned tables and chairs, whiskey bottles broken on the floor, the shelf behind the bar empty. Funny how the bastards didn’t burn this place, only trashed it, taking what they wanted.
All I wanted was to set the courthouse on fire. Torch it and listen for the screams. I stared out the window, waiting. The one thing keeping me sane was the image of them paying for killing Cara and her baby.
The. One. Thing.
We had to wait for Winston to come back from destroying the nest in the woods, since he had to help Tarek keep the lines open. The nest we found was too big for us to handle, another hiccup in the plan. It had to be destroyed before the lines opened, though. For that, we’d need Winston and the Protectors with him, as well. The static was almost enough to send me into a coma.
Almost.
The lines bleeding had revenge salivating in my mouth. Desire to see their fear, feel it when they saw Arcus coming to get them, actually had a laugh escaping. Wilma looked over, her brow scrunched.
I shrugged. “What?”
She pursed her lips, crossing her arms. “You gonna make it?”
“I’m fine.” I returned my attention to the window. “Fine…fine…fine.”
“You don’t sound fine.”
I tapped my fingers against the glass. “Leave it alone.”
She stayed quiet–for about thirty seconds. “When Winston gets here, you and the rest of the Guides stay behind.”
That got my attention. I pushed away from the window and stormed to where she stood, not giving two shits about repercussions as I stared down at her. I pressed all my hate through my voice. “I’m not staying here.”
Wilma’s eyes flickered. “Zander and Avery might have to collect energies; their bodies need protection.”
I bit my lip to keep from screaming–or laughing. Whatever swirled inside my head grew dark, thick, and heavy. “Don’t do that. Don’t act like you’re giving me a job when all you want to do is lock me away. Give the babysitting duty to a couple Protectors. I can fight, damn it.”
Her eyes narrowed as her finger jammed into my chest. “You will stay–along with some Protectors. If anything happens, they’re to cart your ass outta here. That’s non-negotiable. Understand, girl?” She jabbed my chest again with a little more force, propelling me backward. “You don’t give orders to me.” Another jab. “You do what I say.” And another. “And if I hear one more stupid thing come out of your mouth, I’ll take your ass far away from here myself.”
For the first time in my life, I wanted to hurt her. She made me powerless, impotent.
No, she reminded me of how powerless and impotent I really was.
I staggered back to the window, shaking my head. “You’re not my mother, and you’re not my ruler.” My attention returned to the distant guards, picturing their bodies in flames. “You’re not my anything.”
Her breath hissed in the silence. Through the reflection of the glass, I saw Farren’s big body stalk toward me. “Stay away from me.” My eyes met his in the window. “Both of you.”
He froze, his mouth forming a thin line. Farren turned to whisper with Wilma, and to be honest, I didn’t care what they conspired together. I’d do what I wanted. They couldn’t keep me in here.
Avery spoke, cutting through the thick tension. “I must use the facilities.” When no one answered her, she added, “I believe I noticed
a restroom upstairs.”
Still, no one even gave her a glance. Farren and Wilma were undoubtedly too busy lamenting about my attitude. Me? Well, those guards weren’t gonna imagine their deaths themselves, were they?
Time crawled as if in a repeating loop, never moving forward. The more I stared at the walking corpses down the block, the stronger the urge became to run outside and test my aim. Cara’s melted flesh and her little girl bundled in her arms fought through the hardening shell surrounding my heart, further solidifying my desire for blood.
Wilma and Farren’s whispering continued. Their voices like sandpaper against my brain. No doubt, they planned a way to keep me in here, but that would only happen if someone stayed with me. Or maybe they planned to take me away before the party started. If they tried, I’d never forgive them. Never. I’d–
Oh, shit.
Static, thick and potent, rushed past me, leaving me breathless before the feeling faded. One thing I’d come to realize after spending time with Exemplians was each Guide I came across had a unique effect on me. Once I felt it and met the source, I couldn’t forget.
I knew exactly to whom that energy belonged.
I ripped up the stairs, taking two at a time, not getting to the room fast enough. “You bitch!”
Stomping feet followed me up. I tried to force the door open with no luck. Wilma thrust me aside, and waved her hand, the door exploding from the hinges. There was Nicolette, gun drawn, guarding Avery’s body.
“What have you done?” Wilma’s face paled and her hand twitched right before she waved it, picking Nicolette off the ground, and tossing her against the brick wall.
Nicolette struggled to stand, her gun wavering as her pointer finger reached for the trigger. Before she could shoot, I kicked the weapon from her hand. She swept my feet from under me, flipping me into a chokehold, backing up against the wall. Her grip was tight, but I could still breathe.
Nicolette’s entire body trembled. “Don’t make me hurt her.”
Wilma stepped forward, and Nicolette’s grip stiffened. I held up a hand as Wilma waved hers. When Wilma lowered it, I swallowed. “You know you won’t win this fight.”