“We all have careers, Mathis. You don’t have to sacrifice love,” Shaw tells me.
“I didn’t think I was sacrificing love. I thought I was giving her the freedom to be with me and also be herself. We all know Claire can’t be tamed. Asking her to adjust to my lifestyle seemed selfish.”
“You need to know something else, something important,” Grace pipes in. “She’s lived all these years thinking she was a challenge you didn’t want to take on. It’s branded in her brain from that night so long ago.”
“That’s fucking bullshit.”
“She’s not the only one holding things in.”
“I don’t understand why she didn’t talk to me.”
“You haven’t really talked to her. Have you ever wondered over the last year where your relationship was headed?” Bizzy presses, laying her hand on my arm and dragging my attention from the sky.
“That’s why I wanted us to move in together. It’s time.”
“Slow, slow, slow boat,” Shaw mumbles, this time pissing me off.
“I’m sick of you saying that! My timeline is a hell of a lot different than yours.”
“Maybe that’s true,” Bizzy squeezes my wrist, “but while you were taking your time, her brain was filling up with resistance and insignificance.”
“I’m done being the sensible one.” I drain my glass.
“What are you going to do?”
“Everything,” is my only response.
“I dig this new Mathis,” Grace chirps from the backseat.
Nick shoots me a glance, rolling his eyes.
“Not sure there’s anything new about me.”
“Oh, yes, there is. I can’t wait to hear what happens.”
“Sweet Peach, you need to settle down.”
“Nope, not going to happen. I know the stories of when Shaw showed up in Charlotte, and we both know what happened when you surprised me in Greece. Those reunions were hot, but I have a feeling this is going to be smokin’.”
“Jesus.” Nick groans, paralleling into a spot and turning to me. “You think there is any way you can muzzle Claire, so I don’t have to hear a play by play of your reunion?”
“You want to try to muzzle Claire, be my guest,” I dare him.
“Fuck.” He bangs his head on the headrest.
“Here, you need to go. It’s almost daylight.” Grace shoves my oversized bag through the seats at me.
“Should we wait down here in case she throws you out?” Nick asks as I get out of the car.
“Not a chance. You need to have a little faith in your big brother.”
“My idiot big brother.”
“Go! Stop squabbling and go.” Grace’s southern accent makes an appearance, and I smile at her, helping her into the passenger seat.
Without another word, I head into the high-rise and stop by the security desk to pick up the key Bizzy requested. Quietly, I unlock and open the door to the condo, unsure what to expect. Bizzy and Grace gave me an overview, so I’d know a little about the layout.
All of it was unnecessary because I find Claire sleeping curled in a ball on the sofa, her hands tucked under her head, her long blonde hair spread out, partially covering her face, and a blanket bunched around her hips.
I place my bag on the floor quietly and undress, making my way to her. I readjust the pillows and slide in behind her, tucking her close. This is a move I’ve done many times—coming home late to find her asleep and climbing into bed beside her. But today is different because the risk of losing her is fresh on my mind.
I place my mouth to the side of her throat and feel her pulse beating against my lips. She stirs, pressing back and throwing her calf around mine. Another familiar move, and I know what’s coming next. It takes only two minutes before her heart rate increases, and she tenses in my arms.
“Mathis?” she rasps.
“Who else would it be?”
She tries to squirm away, and I use it to my advantage, twisting her until she’s on her back and I’ve caged her in. Her blue eyes are on alert, the emotions swimming inside.
“What are you doing here?”
“I came to get you.”
“Get me for what?”
“For me.”
There’s a slight flicker in her eyes right before she starts to struggle. I tighten my grip and drop my head back to her neck, kissing until I reach her ear. “You’re not getting away this time, Claire. Stop trying.”
“Let me go.”
I lean back to meet her face and squeeze her tighter. “Never, Claire. I’m never letting you go again. These last few days have been the most fucked up in my life, and I’m not going through it again. You had your space. Now, you have me whether you like it or not. I’m not going anywhere.”
“Why are you doing this to me? It’s hard enough as it is.” Her voice cracks, and I catch the first glimpse of that emotional vulnerability Shaw mentioned.
It’s soul-crushing and beautiful at the same time, a piece of her she’s kept hidden but is finally giving me.
“I’m sorry,” I say softly, and she jerks back, searching my face. “I’m sorry for being complacent and boring. I’m sorry for letting you think you were inconsequential when you’re anything but. You’re the light of my fucking life, and have been since I walked into that apartment in Tallahassee. There is so much to talk about, so much to explain, and I promise to give you all of it, every piece you want to know. But, mostly, I’m sorry for letting you think, all these years, that I didn’t accept you as a challenge. Because the truth is, you’re the best challenge I ever accepted, and the rewards are more than I could have imagined.”
Her eyes brim with tears, and she swallows hard. “Mathis, it’s done.”
“Yes, it is. No more holding back with me, Claire. You have something to say, say it. You feel something isn’t right, tell me. You’re never running away from me in the middle of the night again only for me to discover you’ve been holding back some really fucked up perceptions.”
The moisture in her eyes dries almost instantly, and a fire blazes. “I’m going to kill those girls. As of right now, I’m on the prowl for new friends. Preferably friends who know how to keep their damn mouths shut.”
“You can’t be too mad at them considering our roles in their lives.”
“I can be mad.”
“You left me no choice. I needed help.”
“You never need help.”
“When faced with losing the love of my life, I asked for help.”
She sucks in a shaky breath, and her lips begin to tremble. “What did you say?”
“You left me no choice. I was at a loss and needed assistance.”
“Not that part, you fool!” She tries to slap my chest, but her hands are stuck between us.
I grin, brushing my lips across hers, enjoying the sign of her playfulness. “When faced with losing the love of my life, I asked for help.”
“Are you fucking with my head?”
“No more fucking with your head.”
“Mathis—”
“You should have talked to me.” I lower my voice. “More importantly, I should have made you.”
“You can’t make me do anything.”
“I can make you listen to me now.” I nip at her bottom lip.
“Stop,” she mumbles.
“Not a chance.” I tease her mouth, nibbling her lip and running my tongue along the seam before sucking it between my teeth. One hand escapes, and she cups my jaw, scraping her fingernails on my cheek.
My cock throbs when she wiggles her hips then stops. “Where are your clothes?”
“On the floor.”
She goes completely still, her body freezing against mine.
“I’m not here for sex, Claire.”
“Then why are you naked?”
“Because I like to sleep naked, and you were asleep.”
“I’m not sleeping now.”
“Obviously.”
“What are you doing
then?”
I swing my legs forward, gaining ground, and lift her. I give her just enough space to let her think she’s going to fall, so she has no choice but to grasp me for support. The blanket falls to the ground, and my hands move to her ass.
“Nice.” I grin when I grip the bare skin.
“What are you doing now?” she screeches this time as I walk us to the bedroom Bizzy told me was off the hallway.
I choose not to answer until I lay her back on the bed and have her properly pinned under me. “Starting over.”
“I don’t want to start over. It’s too late to start over. There is too much history to forget.”
“You’re right, there’s history. But, hopefully, by the time I’m done, you’ll only remember the best parts.”
“Mathis, you’re not listening to me. I can’t go back to the place we were.”
“We’re not going backward.”
“Why are you being so stubborn? I don’t want you anymore!” she screams, trying to sound strong, but the emotion in her voice gives her away.
“Is that a challenge?”
She shakes her head violently, snapping her mouth shut.
“Good, baby, because my plans are to make this time much better,” I tell her before crushing my mouth to hers and muffling any more excuses.
I know I have my work cut out for me, but I look forward to every second.
Chapter 5
Claire
There’s no escape. The only window in the bathroom is a beveled tile accent window for natural light. I’m too large to fit through the air vents.
Think, Claire.
I can’t make a run for it, because I’m only in a t-shirt and pink panties I left in here last night, and unfortunately, my keys are either in my purse, on the counter, or somewhere in the couch cushions. There’s no way I can outrun him without a better plan.
I had to beg to convince him to let me use the restroom by myself. Even then, he walked me in, did a scan to make sure it didn’t connect to another room, then shut me in.
Ridiculous! He’s being ridiculous. Whoever gave him pointers sucks at advice.
I know I’m lying to myself.
“Claire, I’m coming in.”
“No.” I flush the toilet to try and deter him. “I’m not ready.”
“You’ve had long enough.”
Shit!
Okay, I can do this. Go back to him, explain I’m ready to talk. We can get dressed, and then I can plan an escape. I don’t need my car keys if I have proper clothes and my phone. I can Uber anywhere that way.
The doorknob rattling is my warning that his patience is up. Quickly, I shove my toothbrush in my mouth and scrub harshly. He comes straight to me, pulling the hand towel off the wall, taking the toothbrush from my grip, and throwing it in the sink. Gently, he wipes my lips, smirking at the lack of toothpaste. He’s still naked, and I can’t stop my eyes from roaming his hard body, appreciating every defined muscle that ripples from head to toe.
I’ve always loved Mathis’s body and the comfort he has with nudity. Many times at work he’d catch me ogling him and shoot me ‘the look’, knowing what I was thinking. I never hid this from him, telling him every chance I could.
Now, I need to focus. “You should get dressed.”
“At some point, I will.”
“I thought you wanted to talk.”
“We’re going to talk.”
“I can’t concentrate when you’re like this.”
“That’s the point. You don’t need to concentrate. You need to listen.” He hauls me back to the bed, resuming the position we were in less than ten minutes ago.
I’m under him again, helpless. A part of me feels trapped and scared, but a larger part of me feels a warmth I’ve never experienced. My brain fires off warnings that I need to find my strength before he gets the upper hand.
“At some point, you’ll have to let me up to go to work tonight.”
“You and I are off until Thursday,” he informs me, his lips grazing mine.
“There’s no way!” I dispute, pressing his shoulders until he’s braced on his elbows.
“I happen to know an excellent PNR nurse willing to take your shifts, and I am due some time off.”
Dammit to hell! Bizzy strikes again.
“There’s no way Shaw will let Biz work nights.”
“He will. Mom’s coming to help with Brinley.”
“You didn’t,” I breathe out, knowing his mother is involved. I love Maria Bennett as if she was my own mom. She’s incredible, and if she’s stepped in, that means she knows what’s happening. I hoped to keep our split amicable and peaceful. Maria would support both of us as we moved on.
“Desperate times call for desperate measures. You should know I’ve spoken to your parents, too. We’re staying here for the immediate future until my plans are in place.”
“You called my parents?” A new level of alert rattles me, and I begin to fight to get away from him.
“Stop!” he orders, gripping my wrists and yanking them over my head, so I have the full weight of his body.
My breath comes in pants as I struggle, and he looks beyond my face to our joined hands. A feathery sensation tickles one wrist, and I hear a click, then he’s gone. I jerk and feel a sting, looking up and finding my wrist secured in a fuzzy pink handcuff attached to the headboard.
“Let me go!” I seethe. “I’m going to kick your ass.”
“Fight me, babe. It’s going to be much more fun. Considering I’m about a hundred pounds heavier, I’ll take my chances.”
“Are you antagonizing me?”
“No, I’m getting ready.”
“Ready for what? What the hell is going on here?”
He kneels back, his eyes sweeping over my body. “I’ve always loved you in this shirt.”
He knows it’s one of my favorites. The University of Miami Medical School emblem is mostly faded, and the collar is starting to rip, but I refuse to throw it away. There’s a strong sentimental value, considering I stole it from him during one of our nights together while I was still in college. It was too tempting. I was in Nick’s bathroom fixing my lip gloss while they all waited for me in the living room to go to dinner. The shirt was lying on top of Mathis’s overnight bag, and I decided I needed it and stuffed it into my purse.
He never mentioned it until last year when we officially started dating, and I threw it on, not thinking.
“Looks better on you than I imagined,” was all he said.
That was that.
“It’s a shame.” He breaks into my thoughts, and before I can ask what he means, he grips the hem and splits the shirt apart. Cool air covers my skin, and I sit stunned. He reaches to the arm, repeating the motion on both sides, then pulls it from under me, throwing it to the side.
I lay exposed to him in only a pair of hot pink hipsters that I found in the bathroom earlier. The word ‘sexy’ is written across the front and ‘ass’ is written on the back. His eyes lock on the writing and he licks his lower lip.
“I haven’t seen these before.” He raises his eyes to me inquisitively.
“Grace gave them to me last month on my birthday,” I explain.
“We’ll save these then.” His intentions are clear when he slides his fingers under the elastic.
I try to buck away but can’t get far with my arm attached to the bed. I’m no match for him, and in an instant, the panties are gone and I’m completely naked. His hands grip my thighs, holding me down, and he runs his lips across my skin, kissing from hipbone to hipbone before coming back up to me. Goosebumps cover my body, and he yanks the comforter back, pulling it to our waists, crowding into my space. His erection grazes my stomach, and my heart flips.
“Now we talk,” he decides.
“You do know I have one hand free and can easily break your dick if I want.”
His lips curve into a sexy grin, and his eyes light up. “You can try, but it would seriously damper the plans I have
for us later. Not to mention, it may have everlasting effects of us producing children.”
My head threatens to explode from his statement. I can’t stop the flip my stomach does at the mention of his plans for later, the familiar desire building.
“Now that I have your attention, let’s start at the beginning. The weekend we met.”
The desire that was simmering goes ice cold, and I hold my breath.
“Looking back, leaving you that morning was the first of many mistakes.”
“Please don’t do this, Mathis. Don’t dredge up the past.”
“I didn’t lie to you that morning. Being with you made me feel more alive than I had in years. You were and still are the most beautiful thing in my life.” He goes on as if I didn’t speak. “I continued to make mistakes each time I left you after our nights together. The colossal fuck up is the weekend of your graduation.”
“Please don’t do this,” I plead again, not able to go through this with him. It’s one thing to relay it to my girlfriends over copious amounts of wine. With him, it’s too raw to relive.
His eyes lock with mine, and I’m swept into a sea of dark blue burning with remorse. “I thought I was doing what was best for you. I didn’t give a fuck about my reputation or my status. It was you that was starting a career in a new place. You had a lot ahead of you, and I was married to my work. I couldn’t promise you anything more at the time and wanted to give you the opportunity to live the way you loved. I was a coward, using my position as a shield against telling you the truth about my feelings. Watching you all that time was a gift; being close to you in any way was a gift. You are wonderful at your job, and everyone around you benefits from your energy and passion, including me. I made a stupid, idiotic judgment call back then, and I’ve regretted it ever since.”
“You don’t have to say these things.”
“That was only the beginning, Claire. You may have thought I wasn’t paying attention or didn’t care about all the time we spent apart, but you’re wrong. Every time I heard about you going on one of those fucking dates, rage scored through me. I was a jealous motherfucker. That’s why your account was reported for fraud so many times.”
Heartthrob (Bennett Brothers Series) Page 5