by Shan
I nodded my head. I figured, what harm could it be, being that I really needed to get some milk and diapers? I went upstairs and got Tamarion together and then met J.B. downstairs. Instead of taking Tamarion to the store with me, I decided to take him to Kevin's house since I planned to go there after I left anyway. I was not about to stay in that lonely-ass mansion all by myself unable to get in contact with Tamar when I needed him. At least, if I was at my brother's and needed something, I would have him there to help me get it.
***
“Thank you. I really appreciate you doing this for me. Give me a minute and I’ll see if my brother has the money on him to pay you back. I don’t know why I didn’t ask him before I left.”
“Nah, it’s cool ma. Told you I’m not tripping off that. That’s chump change. I appreciate you for showing me where the store was…it will be more of a pleasure if you sit here and smoke some of this fire with me.”
“Alright, I’ll chill and smoke with you.” I agreed and sat my bag down on the floor of his truck.
I waited while J.B. split a cigar and filled it with weed. All the while, he told me about how he met Tamar and how he always knew Tamar would be a success in the drug game. That nigga had his charm game turned up to the max because he kept throwing out hints about how he wished he had a pretty chick like me on his arm. After smoking two blunts with J.B., he asked me to show him where a food place was around here and I agreed. Next we found ourselves having lunch together, more conversation, and somehow one thing led to another.
We ended up at a hotel room, me stripping down butt-naked, and longing to pay Tamar back for disappearing on me and his son. I knew that he was somewhere laid up with some hoe and pushing me to voice mail every time I called. It was routine for him anytime we got into it or he was mad at me. It was always the same shit. I guess I somehow thought that since I’d been gone and mistaken for dead that he would have changed, but I was wrong.
I didn’t enjoy sex with J.B., and in actuality, each time he stroked in between my legs; I just knew I would vomit. Each time I had visions of P.J. and all the things that he’d done to me. I hated that although, I was free from him; he still had my mind held captive.
“I guess you better take me home now,” I said to J.B. as I fixed my clothing. Thinking how glad I was that it was over. He sat on the bed in a pair of Hanes briefs, puffing on the likes of another blunt.
“Damn, why you so ready to leave? Let’s chill and go another round,” J.B. suggested and I immediately turned my nose up at the suggestion.
“No, I don’t wanna go another round. I want go back to my brother’s. Can you take me now?”
“Give me a minute to smoke this and I’ll take you back since you in such a rush.”
I stood by the door the whole time J.B. smoked his blunt and impatiently waited for him to finish. I didn’t want to join in on the festivities this time. All I wanted was for him to get done and hurry up and get me back to where I needed to be. Of course, I felt guilty as hell being that I refused to have sex with Tamar, but climbed in bed with a perfect stranger--unprotected at that.
What the fuck had I been thinking? Oh well, there is nothing I can do about it now, but hope like hell that Tamar never finds out about this.
Just as I thought Tamar up in my head, my phone begun to ring with his ring tone. My heart begun to pound away in my chest and suddenly I felt sick to my stomach. Eagerly, I looked into J.B.’s direction seeing that he was in no hurry to take me home.
“Can you please take me to my brother’s now? Tae is calling me and I need to get back,” I said as gingerly as possible.
“Yea, let me take a shower right quick,” J.B. said, dropped his briefs to the floor, and walked off towards the bathroom. I wanted to scream, even more so when my phone rang and saw that it was Tamar calling me again. Panic mode hadn’t set in before, but it was definitely starting to set in now.
I began to pace the floor, wondering if I should call a cab-No, I can call Brandon. He’ll come and get me and then that way I can just say that I had Brandon take me to the store. I took my cell phone back out and called Brandon and he answered on the third ring. I told him my location and waited for him to come and get me.
Thirty minutes passed me by before Brandon showed up and J.B. was just stepping his ugly ass out the shower with another blunt that was hanging from the tip of his mouth.
“I’m about to go,” I said and reached for the door knob.
“What you walking or something?” he asked dumbfounded.
“Nah, my friend is outside. Bye.”
I rushed outside of the door, practically running to Brandon’s car. I looked over my shoulder and spotted J.B. standing in the doorway and felt a little embarrassed because I knew that Brandon would know exactly who he was and what had went down. I tried to avoid the whole conversation by turning up the radio as soon as I got in the car but it was useless.
“What the fuck? What the hell you doing at a room with J.B., Rozalyn.” Brandon asked, as he turned the volume all the way down.
“It’s a long story, can you just hurry and take me to my brother’s house.” I looked down at my ringing phone and noticed that it was Keylan calling me this time. I decided to answer figuring I was now in safe territory. “Hello.”
“Where you at?” he asked when I answered.
“I’m at my brother’s,” I lied.
“Well answer the door then.”
“Huh? Oh I had came to the store… to get some….some diapers but I’ll be back in like fifteen minutes.”
“That’s your word?” Keylan asked as if he knew my ass was lying.
I hung the phone up and caught Brandon burning a hole in the side of my face instead of paying attention to the road as he should have been. I didn’t say anything the whole way back to my brother’s house. I felt myself begin to sweat and my heart begin to throb in my chest as if I was on the verge of having a heart attack.
“I can’t believe you Rozalyn. You fucked J.B.?” Brandon asked, as he shook his head.
“Please don’t say anything Brandon. I’m begging you. Please?” I pleaded with him.
“I’ll think about it man. That shit pissing me off-“
“Just please don’t say anything. I’ll talk to you about it later.
It took us almost forty-five minutes to get from where I was at with J.B. to where my brother lived. When we pulled up in front of his house Keylan and Tamar were sitting outside passing a blunt between the two of them. The look on Tamar’s face was deadly and I almost wanted to tell Brandon to keep going before he killed us both.
I glanced over at Brandon once more, eyes begging him not to rat me out. His face softened a little and I grabbed my belongings and stepped out of the car.
That was right before Tamar whisked me off to Jamaica and married me. It was a secret I wished to take to my grave. Unfortunately like they say, “The truth always comes to light.”
6 LATOYA
It was a pretty day outside and I’d just left the salon from getting my hair and nails done. Thank God ‘cause it made the BeBe dress I was wearing look that much badder. I didn’t give a damn what nobody said; life was damn good! I was living in a big beautiful mansion, had nice cars in the driveway, and didn’t want for shit.
Some might say I didn’t deserve this life but if I didn’t; then who did? I’d held Keylan down for years. I cooked for him, cleaned for him, fucked him properly, and I kept his damn secrets. It wasn’t until Kevin came home from jail that I fucked up.
I’m not this hoe everyone wants to believe I am. Hell, I just got tired of all the women, the lack of commitment, and the pure disrespect. I don’t know what woman can put up with that year-after-year and get nothing in return. All I wanted from Keylan was a ring and a damn baby. I wanted a family and that nigga was free to do whatever the hell he wanted to do.
> But nah, he didn’t want to do right by me until I’d already went astray and by then, it was too late.
People said, well mainly my mama said that I should’ve been more patient or just left. And, maybe, I should’ve. It still doesn’t change the fact that I held Keylan down. Technically, everything left behind after his death, goes to me. Not to Starr, like people wanted to try and say. How can some bitch that was in his life for less than a year expect to inherit his fortune?
And no, I didn’t give a fuck about the bitch being pregnant.
Anyway, enough about my lovely bullshit. I had a new man in my life. Although, I’m not content about the way our relationship is going; I was happy. Finally, a nigga I could fuck with that wasn’t looking for a “come up.” I loved my men the way I loved ‘em and that was thugged out to the max.
A Wall Street nigga couldn’t keep up with me and an average nigga…yeah, well I wouldn’t even give an average nigga the time of day. I needed that thug in my life but not just some ordinary busta. He needed to have that thug charisma with a lil’ bit of that Wall Street sense. Taron had it all; even though he didn’t completely belong to me; he was mine.
We shared a daughter together and had shared my bed damn near every night.
While he was running Club Revolver, I was at home caring for our daughter and making a home for all of us like a good woman should. It never failed, five days out of the week Taron would send a text that he was coming to spend time with Keymani before going to work.
As soon as he showed up, I had a full course meal of that good shit prepared that I knew he liked; and of course he always came back after retiring for the night for a good fuck. Journey was not loving that man right and it was her damn fault that he went astray.
Yes, I was called a stupid, silly bitch, the hoe that was breaking up a happy home, and a slut, but it don’t matter to me. Sooner or later, Taron was gonna realize where home is, which is with me and his daughter. Now tell me, who mad?
I pulled the BMW into the driveway, grabbed my clutch, and walked up the sidewalk to the door. Before ringing the doorbell, I flipped my ponytail to the back and combed my fingers through my Chinese bangs to ensure my look was on point. While taking in a deep breath, I pushed the doorbell, and waited for someone to answer. After a few moments, I could hear footsteps closely approaching. Suddenly, the locks were being undone before the door finally opened.
Well, I’ll be damned, I thought, looking at the tragedy that stood before me. Damn if this is what this nigga had to come home to everyday, then I could see why he never came home.
“Hey, Journey. Girl, is Taron home?” I smirked at the fact that one of her eyes was puffy and red and the other had evidence of sleep all caked up in the corner. This bitch was looking hella foul and she reeked of old ass alcohol and just plain funk. This had to be embarrassing for her ‘cause I know, if it had it been me, I would’ve wanted to crawl in a hole and die.
Journey took in my lovely appearance before finally looking in my eyes.
“Hey Latoya. He had some stuff to take care of for his mom. So no he isn’t here. Is there something I can do for you?” She asked in that bourgeois tone of hers.
“Girl looking like that, it ain’t nothin’ you can do for me. I tried calling Taron, but he didn’t answer.Otherwise I wouldn’t have just stopped by like this. Anyway when he gets back, can you please let him know it’s important that I speak with him about last week? I really would hate to leave things the way we did.”
“What happened last week,” she inquired?
Now, I could’ve be a dirty bitch and told her that, after we made love, we got into this big argument, and both of us said things we didn’t mean, but she looked beat up enough. I didn’t want to further hit the hoe while she was already down. I looked down at the time on my watch then back up at Journey.
“Just a little misunderstanding. Please tell him I stopped by,” I said and walked back to the BMW. That was all she needed to know. That little info right there would have her pondering the possibilities of what I meant about a “little misunderstanding.”
7 ROZALYN
A few days later
The boys were finally asleep after a long tiring day of court, the lab, and visiting my dad. I still had yet to talk to Tamar. Honestly, I was getting a little worried. Normally, he would throw me some type of one-sided text to at least calm my nerves but nothing. I knew he wasn’t that damn mad at J.B.’s ass.
Just like me, Tamar had to know this was coming. He couldn’t expect to keep putting that boy off and thinking he wasn’t gonna take further steps. Yet again, Tamar did think the world revolved around him.
This was the childishness that I hated about our relationship. Instead of talking things out, Tamar would always walk away, leaving shit unsolved. How did he expect to fix our relationship when he never wanted to stick around to fix anything? He let his ego and his stubbornness get in the way of what needed to be done. If he didn’t change that, then we would be bound for disaster.
I pulled the blankets snuggly over the boys and grabbed my purse to walk out on the attached balcony when there was a light knock at the door. Immediately, my guard went up knowing I hadn’t told anyone where I was staying and I hadn’t ordered room service. Instantly, I dropped my purse and quickly grabbed my cell phone which I clutched tightly in my hand before walking to the door.
Unsure of what to think, I did know I always had to be careful coming to the ATL with all the shit that Tamar had done around here. There was always the possibility that a clown would spot me and wanna get payback against him. Could never be too careful.
“Who is it?” I asked. After a few seconds of no response, I got up on the tips of my toes and peered through the peephole. However, the image was too blurry for me to tell who was on the other side. I cracked the door open and stared at the hazel-eyed man that stood before me.
His suit was in disarray, his tie hung loosely around his neck, and that smell…that smell reminded me of the times that Brandon was around. It was rarely a day that he didn’t reek of alcohol.
“J.B., what are you doing here?” I asked with a roll of my eyes. “And how the hell did you know where I was staying?”
“I followed you,” he slurred. “And it wasn’t that hard to get your room number from the front desk. Can I come in so that we can talk?” He said with a smirk, lustfully looking me over. I went to close the door but he stuck his foot out to stop me.
“Look, nigga, utilize the cell phone. Get the fuck back before I call…”
“Call who? I’m sick of your ass threatening me with that bitch ass baby daddy of yours like that’s supposed to scare me. I wanna see my damn kids!”
“The results haven’t even come back yet Jamison Bennett!” I said saying his full government name as loud as I could just in case someone was listening. Once again, I tried to close the door, but this time J.B. pushed his way inside. He forced me against the wall with one hand and closed the door with the other. I won’t lie and say I wasn’t frightened.
My heart was beating so fast that it was causing my chest to ache. J.B. grabbed me and pulled me into him. I brought my hand up and went to slap him, but, even in his drunkenness, he was precise. He caught my hand mid-air and pinned me, along with my arm, against the wall. As I stared into his eyes, the mere image of us getting acquainted in ways that I wish I could now take back popped into my head.
“You gonna rape me J.B.? ‘Cause it will be a cold day in hell before I cheat on my husband again.” I spoke with as much confidence as I could muster up. Times like these, when Tamar just disappeared on me, left me feeling neglected when I needed him most, were the times I did wrong. It never failed.
I always sought solace in the arms of another man but this time was different. When Tamar nursed me back to health, I promised him I would do whatever I had to do to make our relation
ship last and I meant that. It was one hundred with me. All or nothing was the name of the game and I would not lose.
“I didn’t need to rape you before,” J.B. said as he rubbed his lips across my neck.
Shit. I thought. Why does it have to feel so good?
“J.B. you need to let me go. You gonna do this in front of my fucking boys?”
Once again, J.B. ran his lips across my neck. He kissed a soft trail from my neck to the side of my face. “J.B., stop it! Get off of me!” I said as forcefully as possible through gritted teeth.
The last thing I wanted was for the boys to wake up and see their mother pinned up in the corner by some strange man. J.B. looked at me and then at the boys lying in the bed. He took a few steps back, rubbed his chin, and then walked toward the door.
“Tell me they ain’t mine Rozalyn,” he said before walking out.
I rushed over to the door and locked it behind him, making sure to put on the extra chain that was attached to the backside of the door. Leaning against the door, I took a deep breath and rushed over to where my purse and cell had fallen.
Boom! Boom! Boom!
Startled, I unlocked my cell phone and dialed 911. I wasn’t about to play with J.B’s ass and I was prepared to let the police know he tried to attack me. Nigga just wanted to get me caught up with him so he could have something to go back and tell my husband, but I wasn’t about to allow that to happen.
Boom! Boom!
“Yes, I need an officer…“
“Rozalyn, open the door!”
“Tamar?”
8 TAMAR
I stood on the other side of the door looking at the shocked expression that was written across Rozalyn's face. Hadn't talked to her in a while but I'd been listening to everything she'd been telling me. Especially the message she left me saying she had to take the boys to Atlanta for a court ordered DNA test.