True, he’d not asked for it, or the burdens that came with it, but that hardly mattered. His grandfather, Walter, Fergus, even Glenna and Donella—they’d all made sacrifices for him. They’d all remained loyal to him.
How could he possibly not do the same?
With a sense of defeat that dragged at his bones, Alec subsided into a chair in front of his grandfather’s desk. He stared at the portrait of his mother, cursing her for the mistake that had been passed down through two generations and would be for at least one more.
His stepfather sat beside him. “I know you have feelings for Miss Whitney, Alasdair, and that you worry for her.”
Alec jerked his head up. “Feelings? Aye, I have.” Christ, he was in love with the lass, and had known it for weeks. He simply hadn’t wanted to admit it to himself, given the fix he was in. But he could no longer deny it.
Walter grimaced. “I understand, but I urge you not to worry unduly about Miss Whitney. She’s a lovely, charming girl who will no doubt find herself a good husband. One who will be well-suited to her vivacious character.”
Maybe, but Alec was quite sure that he’d happily murder that man if given half the chance.
“I do think it’s for the best,” Walter said, starting to look anxious again. “I don’t really think Miss Whitney would find life in the Highlands quite suited to her. London seems more her style.”
That notion made Alec scowl. He thought Edie would do perfectly well in Scotland. There wasn’t a challenge she couldn’t seize and conquer.
But it didn’t matter. Walter and his father were right— Alec owed his family a debt of loyalty, and that family included both Donella and Fergus.
Besides, it appeared that Edie shared that view. Only yesterday, she’d walked away from him, refusing to even listen. He’d only let her go because he’d needed more time to come up with a workable plan.
But finally, after ten years, he’d truly run out of time.
“All right, Father, I understand,” he said. “You needn’t keep beating me over the head. My skull isn’t that thick. And if it makes you feel any better, Miss Whitney shares your opinion.”
Walter let out a tiny sigh of relief. “Thank you for telling me that, my boy. I think—”
A quick knock interrupted them, and a moment later the door opened. Edie slipped in, pausing for a moment when she saw them. Then he saw her shoulders go back and her chin go up with that stubborn determination he’d come to love.
“I’m sorry to interrupt you, Mr. Gilbride, but I was hoping I could have a moment to speak with the captain.”
They rose as she came forward, marching with a firm tread that made it clear she wouldn’t take no for an answer. Walter shot Alec a worried glance but managed to dredge up a smile. “Of course, Miss Whitney. I’ll see you both in the drawing room shortly.”
He sent Alec a glance that clearly said be careful, and then made his way out.
Edie stood quietly, waiting for Walter to close the door behind him.
Alec took those few moments to let his gaze travel over her pretty face—that little chin still up in a stubborn tilt—and her lush body, in its soft, sky blue silk that clung to her lovely curves. It almost hurt to look at Edie, knowing that she could never be his. And if he didn’t miss his guess, she was feeling the same. Her mouth was pulled in a tight, unhappy line, and her gaze behind her spectacles looked drawn and slightly haggard. It took a mighty exertion of will not to pull her into his arms and kiss away all the sadness he saw on her face.
“Yes, Edie?” he asked, prompting her when she didn’t speak.
She sucked in a breath, as if for courage. “I’ve come to say good-bye, Captain Gilbride. Mamma and I will be leaving for Yorkshire tomorrow.”
Chapter Seventeen
Her announcement took Alec like a punch to the gut. He couldn’t seem to absorb the shock in any way that made sense or made it feel right.
Because it didn’t feel right. It felt terribly, monumentally wrong.
When he didn’t respond, she started to look annoyed.
“Well, don’t you have anything to say?” she asked, her voice tinged with asperity.
“What do you want me to say? That I’m happy you’re running away?”
Just when he and Edie had both arrived at the point where they’d decided to take the honorable course of action, Alec realized he couldn’t let her go. Despite everything he and Walter had just talked about, he refused to believe there wasn’t a sensible way out of this mess. He’d escaped from a Spanish prison, for God’s sake, so it beggared belief that he couldn’t find his way out of a marriage neither party wanted.
Edie threw her hands up in exasperation. “I’m not running away. I’m doing the only sensible thing, under the circumstances.”
He crossed his arms over his chest and lifted a mocking eyebrow. “I never took you for a coward, lass.”
She eyed him with distaste, a distinct improvement on her tragic expression of only a few moments ago. Edie’s annoyance with him was a small price to pay if it chased away the haunted look from her gorgeous eyes.
“You and my mother,” she said, shaking her head. “No wonder you both get along so well—you’re equally deranged.”
Now, that was interesting. Clearly Lady Reese was counseling her daughter not to give up the fight. His spirit lifted at the notion that he had one ally in the house.
“What does your dear mamma have to do with anything?” he asked, pushing for more information.
She made a funny little grimace and turned partly away from him, staring at the portrait of his mother. “She’s threatening to go to Lord Riddick and explain exactly why you should be marrying me, not your cousin.”
That gave Alec a nasty little jolt. As much as he appreciated Lady Reese’s support, that would not be a helpful intervention.
Edie glanced back at him. “I’m sure we can both imagine how well that conversation would turn out.”
Probably with Edie and her mother out on their arses on the gravel drive, Alec reckoned.
“Yes, that doesn’t seem like the right play at the moment,” he said, “but I fail to see what that has to do with you turning tail.”
She faced him straight on, hands propped on hips and a full scowl on her pretty face. “Because I’ve got to get my mother out of here, you stupid man. Mamma and your grandfather will surely come to verbal blows, if nothing else. In fact, we’ll be lucky if they don’t start bashing each other over the head with some of the medieval weaponry that hangs from every wall in this ridiculous castle. The wisest course of action is for us to leave first thing tomorrow morning. If you’ll be so kind as to lend us your carriage as far as Glasgow, we can then make our own travel arrangements.”
Alec scowled right back at her. “You’ll do no such thing, you daft girl. Do you really think I’d allow you and your mother to make that trip by yourselves?”
“I don’t see how it’s any of your business,” she replied with a haughty sniff.
“Because I promised your father that I would take care of you,” he said through clenched teeth. “Trust me, Edie, when it’s time for you to return to London, I’ll take you myself.”
And if he had anything to say about it, it would be a good long time before that happened. Now that she stood before him, so determined to go, he knew for certain that he could never let her escape. If he did, she’d be lost to him forever.
“And when will that be?” she asked. “Before or after your wedding?”
She tried for sarcasm, but her voice quavered at the end. Abruptly, she paced to the window and she stared out into the night.
He shook his head in self-disgust. He was handling this all wrong. Edie had a way of knocking him about the head until he couldn’t think straight.
And he desperately needed to think his way out of this mess, for both their sakes.
He followed in her steps and stood just behind her. The rigid, proud set to her shoulders made his heart contract. Everything i
n him cried out to pull her into his arms and comfort her. She’d probably give him a good whack if he tried, so he settled for gently resting his hands on her shoulders. She jerked a bit when he touched her but then went still. But her entire body seemed to vibrate with tension under his fingertips.
“I’ve not given up yet, love,” he said in a quiet voice. “If you can just give me a few more days—”
“No, I can’t,” she blurted out in a gruff little voice. “It’s simply not possible.”
She was a stubborn little thing, but Alec could be stubborn, too. “Why not? Don’t you trust me to figure this out?”
He wished she would turn around so he could properly see her face, not have to make do with her wavering image in the window glass. Her mouth was pulled down in a tragic tilt, but her gaze was obscured by the flickering candlelight off the double reflection of her spectacle lenses and the dark mirror of the windowpane.
“There’s nothing to figure out, Alec. Can’t you see that? You’re doing the only thing possible and the honorable thing. I respect you for that, I truly do. But I cannot stay here and watch you . . .”
Her voice trailed off, and he heard her swallow, as if forcing down tears. Christ, she was killing him. And every word she uttered made it all the more impossible for him to let her go.
He cupped her partially bare shoulders, all too aware of the soft, satiny skin under his fingertips. Gently, he forced her to turn and face him.
“You won’t have to, I promise,” he whispered.
Now he could see her eyes, and gazing into them was like falling into an evening sky that glittered on the edge of nightfall. And for a moment, he saw a fragile hope gleam through them like a comet.
But then hope faded, leaving a somber determination in its place. Alec’s heart sank when she shook her head.
“You can’t make that promise.” She stared earnestly up at him. “It would be a terrible scandal if you broke your engagement.”
He had to fight the impulse to tighten his grip on her. Edie belonged to him, dammit. Why the hell couldn’t everyone—including her—see that?
“And for me, too,” she added. “I will not bring more scandal down on my family—on myself.”
“It won’t make a damn bit of difference, because you’ll be married to me.”
She peered up at him for a few seconds, looking rather lost. Then she straightened under his hands, and her gaze grew calm and resolute. He thought back to the first time he’d met her, when she’d been so daring and flirtatious, never seeming to take anything seriously. But she was so much more than that charming, vivacious girl who led men around at the end of a string. She had both heart and character—more than any woman he’d ever met.
“You need to let me go, Alec,” she said in a quiet voice.
“Edie,” he started, hearing the desperate tone that infused his voice.
“If you respect me, you’ll respect my wishes.”
And what could he hope to say to that? Alec forced himself to pry his hands loose, even though it felt like an offense against nature to let her go. When she took a step back, her warmth seemed to drain from him, leaving him cold and still inside.
She tried to dredge up a cheery little smile that was nothing less than a travesty. “Well, we’ll be leaving first thing, so I’ll say my good-byes now. I suppose I won’t be seeing you for a l . . . long time . . .”
Then she finally broke. Tears welled up in her eyes, and her mouth started to tremble. She whirled around, as if preparing to flee. Alec couldn’t stop himself. He reached out and snaked his arms around her waist, pulling her tight against his chest.
“Don’t cry, lass, please don’t cry,” he begged as he cradled her close. “I’ll think of something, I promise.”
She let out a waterlogged, slightly hysterical laugh. “You can’t, you big oaf.”
Then she turned in a luscious flurry of soft curves and whispering silk to face him. She wrapped her arms around his neck and went up onto her toes.
“And I bloody well don’t give a damn,” she said with a little growl.
Then she pulled his head down and plastered her mouth to his.
She’d clearly lost her mind, but right now Edie didn’t care. Not when she’d suddenly realized she’d probably never see Alec again. Soon he would be a married man with a lovely Highland wife and, soon enough, lovely little Highland children who would no doubt look just like him. It was a horrible image of the future, and it had brought her mentally to her knees.
As had the look on Alec’s face when she’d started to say good-bye. Devastation was not an expression that sat comfortably on Alasdair Gilbride. It had wrenched her heart into her throat and the tears into her eyes, and her only thought had been escape.
But when his strong arms went around her, she’d realized escape was no longer possible. He would never be hers, but she wanted him to know that she would always love him.
She would always belong to him.
Edie tunneled her fingers into his thick hair, kissing him with all the desperation in her heart, with all the years of loneliness that would soon be facing her. She needed this moment, this kiss, to steel herself against what she faced tomorrow.
Alec’s arms tightened around her, pulling her against his rock-hard chest. One big hand slipped down to her hip, nudging her close. When she felt the ridge of his erection press against her belly, she gasped. He took delicious advantage, slipping his tongue inside and taking her in a hot, open-mouthed kiss.
She moaned at the delicious slide of tongues, and everything in her body seemed to go soft at once. Trembling, she clutched at him. Her legs lost all ability to keep her upright, and she swayed in his embrace.
Without breaking the kiss, he dipped a bit, sweeping an arm behind her knees and then lifting her high, cradling her against his chest. Edie jerked back, staring at him through some sort of mist.
Drat. Her spectacles had fogged. She peered at him over the top of her frames, taking in the hot, determined gleam in his eyes. “Alec, what are you doing?”
“I’m picking you up. What does it look like?” he said as he strode across the room to a chaise near a set of bookcases.
She couldn’t seem to make her brain function properly. “Why?”
“Because you were about to fall down, and we don’t want that happening, do we?” He lowered himself onto the plush, wine-red velvet chaise, bringing her with him to tumble across his lap.
Edie scrambled to right herself, but Alec kept a firm hold. She let out an undignified squeak when she felt his erection against her bottom. Given how thin the fabric of her gown and chemise was, she certainly felt a lot more of him than she would have expected.
Even more startling was her body’s response. She wanted to wriggle against him in a demented attempt to soothe the sensations coalescing between her thighs. And if she gave in to that mad impulse, she might as well lay herself out flat, offering herself to him on a platter.
“Don’t be ridiculous,” she said in a breathless voice. “I would never do anything that stupid.”
“Mm, you on the floor isn’t such a bad thought,” he said, ignoring her objection. One big hand curled around her thigh. “Especially if I’m there with you. Even better, on top of you.”
That image lodged in her brain and refused to depart. She was trying to manage a more appropriate response to the situation—like demanding that he let her go—when he tipped her chin up and began to nibble along her jaw. It made her shiver, stirring up her need for him—a need she’d been trying to repress for weeks.
Sadly, she wasn’t doing a very good job of it. All she could seem to do was tip her head back to give him better access to her throat.
You idiot. Get control of yourself.
“Alec, I don’t think this is a very good idea,” she managed in a thin voice.
“You started it,” he replied between nibbles.
“Yes, I know, but . . .”
But whatever she’d been about to say w
as wiped from her brain when his hand slid up her stomach to her breast. When he cradled it and then gently thumbed the tight nipple that had immodestly thrust against her bodice, sensation stormed through her. She turned her head to meet his mouth again, her defenses crumbling under the hot onslaught of his lips and tongue.
Just for one more minute longer. Then I’ll stop.
Before that minute arrived, a confused jumble of noises penetrated her brain. It soon resolved into footsteps and then loud—very loud—voices close by.
Her eyes popped wide at the same moment that Alec pulled back from the kiss. Edie stared up into Fergus Haddon’s furious green gaze. He was tipped at the strangest angle, looking down at her with a sideways slant, and seemed obscured around the edges. It wasn’t until Alec brought her upright that she realized she’d been all but lying flat across his lap, with him bent over her as he kissed her into stupidity.
Oh, and her dratted spectacles had partly fogged again.
“You bastard,” Fergus snarled at Alec. “I will kill you for this.”
The man’s face was almost as red as his hair, and his hands were balled into fists. Edie felt quite certain that if Alec hadn’t been holding her in his lap, Fergus would have already commenced the killing.
“You’ll do nothing of the sort,” Alec said sharply as he held Edie close, half-turned into his chest. “You’ll wait until Miss Whitney and my father have left the room, and then we’ll talk.”
His father?
She peered around Fergus to see Mr. Gilbride standing back a few feet, looking highly disturbed as he shook his head. She followed the path of his gaze down to her thighs, which were exposed, thanks to the fact that her dress and chemise had rucked up around them.
How to Marry a Royal Highlander Page 22