“You’ve ruined her!” he snapped back, blasting jets of flame so close to my hovering wings, they tingled.
Jerking out of the way before he fried them to ash, I laughed. “Please, don’t tell me you care a whit about that damned queen. She is nothing to us. Nothing to—”
“There is no us in this, Galeta,” he rushed on, his demonic mask of scales glistening like golden flame. “You’ve made your position perfectly clear on the matter! I tried with you!”
Tossing my head back, feeling the caress of ice move across the frozen flesh of my form, I shook my head. “I never asked you to, damned beast! Go, then. Leave! I do not want you!”
My chest heaved mightily as I stared the magnificent creature down. Still awed, even after so long, at the scope and breadth of him. Even if I did not care for his high-handed ways.
We’d had this same argument in times past. And, always, his threats had been empty words. Button had tasked himself with being my keeper from the moment he’d opened his glowing eyes. I’d never asked him to. Never wanted him to.
I notched my chin.
Our stare-down lasted for an eternity and no time at all. And then his massive frame shuddered, and I couldn’t help but frown just slightly to see the beast looking so broken of a sudden.
“You’re right, fairy. You never did want me around. More fool I. I’ll leave you now. But know this—it’s forever. You do not want me, then I have no use for you anymore.”
Digging my talon like nails into my palms, I didn’t move. Hardly dared to breathe. Why were my ears ringing? Why did my chest suddenly ache so badly?
What was this happening to me?
Unaware of my inner turmoil, Button shook his massive head. “This is good-bye, creature. May you be damned in the next life.”
Then, moving his massive girth with the sensuous glide of a king cobra, he turned and blasted into the air, pumping his colossal wings as he flew out of my shelter.
“Go, then,” I whispered to his back, even as my clawed hand reflexively reached toward him as though I meant to pull him back to me. Realizing what I’d done, I curled my fingers into a fist and hung my hand limply at my side.
My heart wasn’t shattering inside me. My soul wasn’t quaking. Noise didn’t ring in my ears. I wasn’t currently reeling from the loss of the only thing that’d ever given a damn about me in this life.
I wasn’t.
I don’t know how long I hovered there, lost in the thoughts and the ever-growing din tormenting me. But when next I blinked, the sun had set and the sky was aglow with frosty pinpricks of silvery light.
Button had left me.
And something already empty inside of me fissured further. I clutched at my chest, frowning deeply.
There were moments, stolen bits of time, where I wondered about myself. About what I’d become. I’d only ever been a cold-hearted creature. Consumed by my lusts and darkness. But every so often a memory would intrude. Something I knew deep down I shouldn’t know, and yet I did.
I hadn’t always been this way. And yet I had, hadn’t I?
I shook my head, confused by my own nonsense. The fissure inside of me spread, and I clutched at my chest as though it were a palpable, tangible thing.
I was black inside.
I’d taken what I wanted. Done what I wanted. Trampled on whoever and whatever I’d was necessary to get to where I was today. I was queen of the fairies. They might all hate me, but there wasn’t a thing they could do to change it either.
But as quickly as the moments came, they vanished. Squaring my shoulders, I growled beneath my breath.
“Bah. He doesn’t want me, then I don’t want him either. Stupid bloody dragon.” He’d kept me away from my work long enough.
Soon I’d be forced to return to that damnable forest full of frolicking, idiotic winged drunkards racing snails and singing high-pitched songs of laughter and frivolity.
I spit as madness and fury whipped through my bones, hardening that fissure that’d cracked. My anger was my salve. Sealing up the holes, closing the gaps, so that I wouldn’t have to look too deeply. Wouldn’t have to dwell inside the shadows.
My hands moved of their own volition once I’d gotten to my workbench. I snatched up glass vials of powder, liquid, herbs, tongues, eyes, flesh, darkness... I didn’t need to look to know.
I’d been preparing myself for this moment for eons. I’d stumbled across a book of magic many lifetimes ago.
I’d outlived them all.
No one knew. They all forgot. All fairies knew we’d live long lives, unless fate or misfortune befell us. I sniffed. They didn’t know, though, but I did.
I never died.
Always. Always. Always I was.
All the originals had died.
Except for one.
Except for me.
Tossing ingredients into the stoneware cauldron before me. Knocking over vials. Hands manic as I reached and tossed. I sniffed louder.
My vision grew blurry.
I’d killed them all.
One by one.
All the colors.
Ended their lives only to see them replaced by others. Couldn’t kill the magic.
Jealousy?
“No, there was a purpose,” I whispered wildly. Tossing in too much, too little, it didn’t matter. “Doesn’t matter. Must finish.”
Couldn’t see all that well. Why?
I sniffed harder.
Fissure burning. Cracking open. I grimaced. Clutching onto the workbench as my heart hammered painfully within me. Might not be returning to the fairy games tonight after all. My wings shuddered.
I shook my head.
No, Galeta, don’t think about that, I cautioned myself. The moment had come. I wasn’t sad. “What does the Mad Hatter say? Tick-tock. Tick-tock. Tick-tock.”
Time waits for no man.
I trembled. Almost over. Almost done. Finally learned how to do it. A watery smile.
I frowned, my manic movements pausing as I reached unsteady fingers toward my cheeks. Turning my hand slowly. Eyes going wide. So much blood. Tears too?
I shook my head. No matter. “Press on. Forget, Galeta. Try to forget.”
Snick.
Snick.
Snick.
The hiss of a blade slicing through a neck. The gentle give and tug of ending life.
A terrible sound echoing deep inside my cave. Like a creature dying from a mortal blow.
“Stupid animal,” I hissed, sniffling harder. Bloody tears so blinding. “Can’t see a blasted thing.”
Don’t do this, Galeta.
I paused, every nerve ending in my body going still. Button had returned. Mouth twisting into a blazing smile against my will. Twirling, wings beating rapidly, eyes scanning. Heart plummeting to my feet.
Not here.
My Button had not returned to me.
You’re better than this. If you don’t want to be this, then stop...
Ah, echoes of memories. Button hadn’t returned to me after all. Fissure cracking further. Darkness spreading through my limbs.
Echoes of the past warring with the sounds of the present.
Button roaring at me. Screaming at me that I was foolish. Mad. Crazy.
I laughed, smashing my pestle down roughly on a dried bushel of nightshade. The sounds of my madness rang back to me through the crystal fangs perched just above my head.
So deadly.
So lethal.
Standing beneath them, arms spread, singing to the rafters.
Crack.
Snap.
Whistling death coming straight at my heart. Excruciating pain as the icy blade tore through me. Blood. Blood everywhere. Pierced directly through. Grabbing onto the hilt. Confused. Still alive?
“Why? Why? Why!” I screamed, the claws above me trembling. Groaning. Creaking. But it didn’t faze me.
Because they couldn’t hurt me.
Nothing could.
Hated everything! So much hate! Dying. Dying
. Dying inside...
Smashing down on the flower. It was already powder beneath the angry ministrations of my hands. But I couldn’t stop. So much fury. Rage.
Blackness clawing out of me. Seeping through my pores. Darkness raging, swirling within me. Roots gone so deep there was no escaping.
“Try to do good. But always do bad,” I muttered. The wind picked up my words, tossing them back at me spitefully.
The night hated me. Memories crowding at me.
I shoved them back. But the tide was too high, too powerful. They crashed into me. Drowning again.
Gerard in love? I should let them have each other. Step aside. He will love her. I can see it... Betty, lovely girl. Poison spreading through my heart. Stupid, silly words. They can never be happy. Curse him. Curse him now!
Wetness streamed down my face, burning the ice of my flesh. That same wounded sound intruding on my chaotic thoughts. Pain. So much raw pain. I stilled, looking up. Where did it come from?
Icy claws stared back at me. The lonely howl of the wind behind me. Nothing inside with me. Nothing would ever come here. Even the most evil sensed the darkness that dwelled here.
Brows lowering, I jerkily tossed the ground flowers into the cauldron. And finally, finally... the blood of a dark witch. Snatching up the vial from the countertop, I held it up to my eyes.
Release.
I breathed. The madness ebbing just long enough to remember Button’s words.
It’s forever, Galeta. What you choose, it will be forever...
Maybe I shouldn’t do this. Maybe I could find another—
A tidal wave of memories.
Curse the child. Two faces. One of madness. One of beauty. The Huntsman can never have her. Whispering dark deeds to the Sun. The Moon loves only you. You must destroy Danika to get what you want. Fields of lavender and blood. The tears of the innocent. Never let them know. Only do enough to make them believe in you...
Great evil stirred, and I smiled.
It had been fun.
You know you want more. You can never leave me, fairy... you need me.
“Need you,” I whispered mechanically, clutching onto the workbench, dropping the glass vial to the icy floor beneath.
A caress of twilight. A forbidden kiss beneath a bloodred moon. Glorious madness...
“No!” I screamed, and in that one word I heard the cry of the wounded. That sound of an animal dying, it was me.
Blinking, shaking my head, I released the bench, searching the ground for the green vial. There it was. Heart hammering before the darkness gripped me again. I shot out my hand for it, calling it to me with magic.
“Almost over, Galeta. None will care. Almost done now.”
It landed in my palm, hot, warm, and inviting.
Death.
This time true.
Scrubbing at the tears blinding my eyes, I uncapped the bottle and tipped it over, pouring all of its contents in.
A flash of fire shot up, scorching the icy claws, melting them instantly. Drowning me in frigid water. But I didn’t feel it.
I never felt it.
A hovering shadow of a skull and crossbones wavered in neon blue before me, and I sobbed with relief.
This will end anything, Galeta. Why use it on you? Use it on others... Torture. Maim. Kill. Kill. Kill.
I didn’t realize what I’d done until I felt the cold glass vial of death tucked into the hidden pocket of my gown. I blinked. The evil was controlling me again. Always in control now.
“No. End me. No more,” I whimpered, voice tight and full of grit.
One more. Evil beguiled.
My fingers clenched. What could it hurt just one more time? My heart raced, and I tasted my pulse on the back of my tongue. Imagining death, blood, gore... My eyes rolled to the back of my head as a sound of longing crawled out of me.
Fight this, Galeta. A small, tiny sound. One I hadn’t heard in weeks now. A female. So lovely.
My chest ached, and I shook my head. “Not strong enough anymore.”
The brush of a breeze against my cheek. But not cold. It was warm. Like the kiss of light, it rushed through me, obliterating the ice in my soul. I’d not felt warmth in so long, I’d almost forgotten the taste of it.
Sobbing painfully.
Clawing at my face. So tired. So, so tired.
Kill more. One more time.
“Yes,” I whispered, responding to that darkness.
Galeta, no. You’re stronger than this. Millions of years you’ve fought him. Hang on, little fae.
“No. No... killing.” Words being ripped from out of me. No control over anything anymore.
Kill...
Blood on my hands. So much blood on my hands.
Wings pumping, the urge to turn and seek out death so strong I could taste it. I needed it. Wanted it.
Fight.
“Can’t.” Turning. Going to kill something. Anything. Then I’d do it. Then I’d drink from it myself. Then it would be over.
Suddenly, three faces stood before me. Calypso. Hades. Aphrodite. Why? I shook my head. A dream? A nightmare? Not real. No one came here.
“Now!” Calypso cried.
Hades and Aphrodite lifting a massive gilded mirror rippling with power on its glossy surface.
I screamed.
The mirror crashed over me. Sucking me in. The sound of glass shattering.
Darkness.
Chapter 6: The Nightmare
Syrith
Fifty feet.
Forty.
Thirty.
The rugged terrain surrounding the castle of the Queen of Hearts drew closer as I hurtled like a burning star ever downward. Tucking in my wings. I felt the rush, the pull of wind licking at my flesh.
Adrenaline pumped like a drug through my veins.
Twenty.
Ten.
I heard the whistle of impending doom, and I smiled. It would be nothing. Quick, even. Just couldn’t open my wings. I wondered if it would even hurt at all.
Only seconds before impact.
But then I thought of my mother, and I just couldn’t do it.
With a roar, I spread my wings as my claws crashed into the ground, ripping up clods of dirt and roots. My massive shoulder thundered into the trunk of Mother’s favorite haunted willow.
Ghouls howled, moaning in frustration. I’d wrecked their home. I considered an apology, but I wouldn’t feel it.
Eyeing them with the empty, glassy stare I’d perfected in the last three years, I drew my wings back into myself. Shifting form and defying any of them to come at me.
The ghouls—blood-sucking parasites—kept to within the shadows of the haunted forest. Their glares hostile but none of them daring to approach me. I was one of the few denizens of Wonderland that could walk among them unmolested. Let any poor soul stray too close to a clawed hand, and they’d never live to see another sunrise.
When I felt the last monster slink back into its hole, I finally turned and headed for home. Kicking at rocks beneath my booted feet.
Shoving my hands into my pockets, I glowered at the sun, hating that the day should feel so bright and cheery when, inside, I was empty, cold, and lifeless.
Not wanting to be bothered by any of my parents’ servants, I switched form yet again, this time to one of a rager monkey, gliding up the exterior of the castle walls as though I flew. Digging my dexterous fingers into any crack I could find, moving with the grace of a sleek cat.
But in this form, I was a dark, shaggy beast with glowing red eyes. Should any of the servants stumble upon me as I was, they’d faint dead away. Ragers had fangs the size of a large man’s wrist and a thirst for blood rivaled only by my father’s people.
I was just about to my window when I heard the murmuring of voices from the neighboring quarters. My parents’ private chambers. They would not like me eavesdropping, but something about their tight whispers and heated conversation told me whatever they spoke of, it concerned me.
Frowning
, I pressed tight to the stone and stilled as I listened.
“He is not well, Ragoth,” Zelena—my mother and Queen of Wonderland—said. “Each day, he gets worse. I’d hoped after all this time we’d have our son back.”
My heart clenched to hear my mother sound so broken. I’d never wanted to hurt her. But I could no longer pretend I was happy either.
“Well, what did you expect, Zelena? He lost the love of his life. He’s handling things as best he can. The truth is, if I’d lost you...” Father’s words were soft and scratchy. “I do not think I could bear it as he has.”
I clenched my jaw, shoving down the memories trying to surge to the fore. Smothering them so that they’d not come to the surface and drown me in them again. To simply say I’d lost something didn’t express the depth of my loss. The utter black hole that now consumed me because of it.
There was rage and fire in my father’s voice. I could almost visualize him pacing as he tunneled his blunt fingers through his thick, wavy hair. Ragoth was a true dragon of the line Draconian. Not a born resident of Wonderland, he’d come from another world entirely. Olympus.
Once a keeper of Zeus’s golden fleece, Ragoth was also a prince of his people and the current King of Wonderland.
Both he and my mother were beautiful. Powerful.
As I was their offspring, everyone had expected I should be the same. I was not. And never would be.
In a world bursting with madness and magic, it should have come as no surprise to them that I’d not be normal. Not be everything they’d hoped for in a son. In an heir.
My nostrils flared as I dug my nails cruelly into my palm. The pain helping only a little to clear my mind of the shame and desolation I now felt because of it.
I would leave—run away and never return—but for the two inside. I’d never meant to hurt them as I had. And yet I could not seem to stop either.
“I should never have encouraged him to come out as he did. I’d just hoped—” Her words caught, and I blinked back heat. “I thought that... that... she truly did love him back.”
“Oh, my queen,” Ragoth groaned. There was a shifting of fabric and then the sound of my mother’s broken sobs.
“That he should suffer this. I never meant for this to happen, Ragoth, you must believe me. He is our son. I love him. Love him so desperately.” Her words were broken and laced with heartache.
The Fairy Queen (The Dark Queens Book 6) Page 4