by E. L. Todd
“I don’t want to go to your place. Take me home.”
“Okay, Rae. That’s where we’re going.”
I rested my forehead against the cool glass. “Because I don’t want to go there.”
“That’s fine.” He kept his eyes on the road but glanced at me from time to time.
After what seemed like only thirty seconds, he parked the car and carried me up to my apartment. I would have insisted on walking, but I honestly couldn’t move. My body gave out on me, and my brain turned off.
He got the keys from my purse then carried me inside. He headed straight to my bedroom and set me on the mattress.
Safari followed us into the room, and once he recognized Ryker, he growled.
Ryker didn’t move, watching him carefully.
I reached my hand out and petted Safari. “It’s alright, boy. He just gave me a ride.”
Safari calmed down, his growls quieting.
Ryker kneeled at the bed and pulled off my heels. Then he pulled the covers over me, tucking me inside. “I’m gonna get some water. Need anything else?”
“Advil...” I rubbed my forehead, feeling the burn of my skin.
“Alright.” He disappeared for a moment and returned with the water and pills, placing them on the nightstand. “They’re right here, Rae.”
“Okay.” I couldn’t move because everything hurt. “You can go now...”
Ryker didn’t move. “I don’t think you should be alone right now.”
“I’m at home. I’ll be fine.” I pulled my knees to my chest to fight my stomach ache.
“It’s not safe for someone to be alone when they’re this drunk,” he whispered. “A lot of things could happen. I’m still debating whether I should take you to the hospital.”
“No hospital...”
“So, we can do one of two things... I can call Rex or someone else and have them come over here. Or I can stay. Which do you prefer?”
I definitely didn’t want to involve anyone else in this. If Rex saw me like this, he would worry. And when I got better, he would yell at me. Jessie and Kayden would feel the same way. “I can handle this on my own. I have Safari.”
“Pick, Rae.”
“I guess...you.” Ryker was the lesser of two evils, by far.
“Alright.” He kicked off his shoes then sat on the edge of the bed, preparing to lie down beside me.
Safari jumped on the bed and barked, his teeth bared and a terrifying growl emitting from deep in his throat.
Ryker slowly moved off the bed, taking a pillow and placing it on the floor.
Safari lay beside me, his head facing the floor where he could see Ryker at all times.
Ryker grabbed an extra blanket sitting on my dresser and got as comfortable as possible on the carpet. He fell silent as he stared at the ceiling, probably uncomfortable since he was used to his luxurious bed with expensive sheets. With Safari watching him, he probably didn’t dare move a single inch. “Nice to see you too, Safari.”
Safari released a quiet growl.
“You really don’t have to stay.” My eyes felt heavy as they closed, like invisible weights had been placed over my eyelids.
“I know, Rae. I want to stay.”
***
The second I opened my eyes, I had to hurl. I rolled over Safari and landed on the floor with a dull thud.
“Shit, Rae.” Ryker stirred when I touched his leg. “What the hell are you—”
I moved as quickly as I could and dashed for the bathroom, making it to the toilet just in time. I emptied everything sitting inside my stomach, depositing my soul along with the alcohol and chunks.
Ryker came behind me and grabbed one of my legs. “Lift your knee.”
I gripped the bowl and did as he asked.
He slipped a folded towel underneath both of my knees, supplying cushion so I didn’t have to kneel on the hard tile.
“Thanks...” I felt another load coming, so I breathed through the pain and waited.
Ryker stood at the counter and opened my drawers until he found a hair tie. He kneeled behind me and gathered my hair in his hand, pulling it into a perfect bun. It was off my neck and out of my face.
“You’ve done this before?”
He chuckled. “Actually, no.” He rubbed my back with his large hand, moving down my spine.
Safari growled from the doorway, his teeth bared again.
“What’s your problem?” Ryker snapped. “I’m helping her.”
Safari barked.
“Safari.” My voice escaped as a whisper, but he quieted down, releasing a few whines. “He’s just protective of me...”
“Well, I’m not here to hurt you.”
I had a comeback to that, but I left it in my throat. I tensed as I felt the vomit rising again. I threw up in the bowl, gripping the seat for dear life as the nausea blasted through me like a thunderstorm. “Oh, god...”
“It’s alright,” he whispered. “You’ll feel a lot better when it’s over.” He got a towel from the hallway and ran it under warm water before he returned.
I threw up again, and when the chunks disappeared, I knew that was the last round.
“Here.” He handed me the damp cloth.
I wiped my face and then my mouth, removing the signs of bile before I turned around.
“Feel better now?”
“Uh-huh.” I flushed the toilet and closed the lid to hold the smell. I leaned back against the side of the tub, feeling sweat on my forehead and the back of my neck. “Can you give me a second?”
“Sure thing.” Ryker walked out and shut the door behind him. The second he was gone, Safari barked again.
I rubbed my temple and felt the migraine forming.
“Safari.” Ryker’s powerful voice rang through the hallway. “Keep it down.”
After I mustered enough energy, I stood at the sink and washed my face and brushed my teeth. I rinsed with three rounds of mouth wash until I was certain the taste was truly gone. My face was still warm, so I patted it with cool water, trying to bring my temperature down. Even though I was done hurling, I still felt terrible. At least the pain was a distraction from my heartbreak.
I opened the door and walked down the hallway, spotting Ryker on the couch. Safari sat on the ground right in front of him, watching him like a guard dog with those perceptive black eyes.
“Safari, chill.”
Safari lowered his head and rested his chin on his paws, his ears flattening.
Ryker sat in front of the TV, but he didn’t turn it on. “You want me to make you something to eat?”
“I’m not hungry.” After staring at my puke, the last thing I wanted to do was eat and throw up again.
“You should drink a lot of water. You’re even more dehydrated now.”
I spotted the clock on the wall and realized it was two in the afternoon. “Oh, shit. You missed work.”
He shrugged. “I’m the boss. I can do whatever I want.”
“Well, I can’t,” I snapped. “I didn’t even call in sick.”
“I took care of it.” He patted the seat beside him. “Take a seat.”
Just to be stubborn, I didn’t. I crossed my arms over my chest and continued to stand even though I was exhausted.
“I take care of you all night and you won’t even sit with me?” That arrogant smile and smoldering gaze looked exactly the same as it used to. He tapped the couch again. “Come on, sweetheart.”
I sat down, sticking to the opposite side of the couch so we were nowhere near each other. My arms were still across my chest. I was in the jeans and t-shirt I wore the night before, and I looked like hell.
His cockiness died away as he looked at me. His expression softened, just the way it did when he told me he loved me at dinner. “So...you and Zeke broke up?”
“How did you know?” I never mentioned him.
“Well, if I were seeing you, you wouldn’t be sleeping alone.” His hand rested on the cushion between us, but he didn’t try t
o grab my hand. “He hasn’t called. And I’ve never seen you get that hammered since I’ve known you...which could only mean one thing.”
“That I’m completely and utterly devastated...” I pulled my gaze away from his face because I couldn’t stand the look of pity.
“Yeah...I guess.”
I felt tears burning in the back of my eyes, but I refused to let them escape.
“Talk to me, sweetheart.”
“You don’t want to hear about this stuff...”
“Hey.” He patted the cushion until I looked at him. “If I didn’t want to know, believe me, I wouldn’t ask. But I did ask...because I care. Now, tell me what happened.”
I took a deep breath so the tears would stay behind my eyes. But I knew once I started talking, they would slowly come free. “That night you and I talked at dinner...”
“Yeah?” he whispered.
“Zeke came to the restaurant and saw us holding hands. He assumed the worst and went out to a bar and hooked up with some girl.”
Ryker closed his eyes and cringed.
“He thought I was picking you over him, and he did something really stupid...but I can’t forgive him. I love him so much, but I can’t let it go. I just see him differently now.”
“How long has it been?”
“Two weeks...” The longest two weeks of my life.
“Rae, I don’t even know what to say. I’m so sorry.” When he said, it seemed like he meant it. But after he confessed to me about how he felt, there was no reason to be sad about my breakup.
“No, you aren’t,” I whispered. “And that’s okay.”
He sighed like my words stung him. “When I told you I loved you, I meant it.”
I watched the sincerity in his gaze and knew he meant what he said.
“I want you to be happy. I hate seeing you like this. This isn’t the woman I know.”
I tightened my arms across my chest. “I know...”
He turned to the blank TV and rested his fingertips against his lips, his chest rising and falling with even breaths.
I still couldn’t believe he was sitting in my living room. I went out last night to get so wasted I couldn’t feel any pain. But then I ran into the last person I wanted to see—besides Zeke.
“I know it’s not my place, but I’m gonna say something anyway.”
My only response was a stare.
He turned to me, his blue eyes vibrant like they used to be. “Zeke is a good guy. I’ve known him for a long time. The guy made a bad mistake, but I think you should forgive him. You know he would never do anything like that under any other circumstance.”
I couldn’t believe Ryker was vouching for Zeke.
“And really, this entire thing is my fault. I asked you to dinner and told you I loved you. He’s entitled to be upset.”
“But he’s not entitled to screw someone,” I snapped. “If I slept with you, he’d never forgive me.”
His eyes sagged with defeat. “I’m just saying...”
“He could have yelled at me all he wanted. He could have ignored my phone calls for two weeks. He could have even said he needed a break. But to sleep with someone...” I shook my head. “I can’t get over that.”
Ryker sighed quietly.
“I used to look at him in a different way...but now everything has changed.” Tears rolled down my cheeks. “I love him so much, but I can’t get back to where we used to be. I don’t trust him the way I used to.”
“Maybe you should just give it some time—”
“We’re done.” It didn’t matter how many times I said those words, they always hurt.
Ryker bowed his head, finally giving up on his persuasion.
Now that the truth was on the table, I couldn’t think of anything else to say. I was grateful Ryker spotted me in that bar and got me home safely, but it didn’t feel right having him there. If Rex came home and saw him, he would assume the worst. And then he would tell Zeke, who would assume something was going on when there wasn’t. “Thank you for taking care of me...”
“I’ll always be here, Rae.” He sat forward and rested his elbows on his knees. “I guess I should get going.” He rose to his full height and looked down at me, that pitying look still in his eyes. “You know you can call me for anything—even if it’s just to talk.”
I nodded.
He stood there like he expected something else to happen. His hands moved into the pockets of his jeans.
I didn’t touch him, feeling like I was betraying Zeke just for having Ryker inside the apartment. “I’ll see you around...”
He knew that was his cue to leave. “See you later, Rae.” He walked toward the door and turned around. “And it was nice seeing you too, Safari.”
Safari growled in response.
Ryker shut the door behind him and was finally gone.
I breathed a sigh of relief once he was out of my apartment. It felt so good having him sleep in the same room, giving me the best night of sleep I’d gotten in two weeks. Something about having him there made me drift into unremarkable dreams. But that comfort made me feel guilty, like I was doing something I shouldn’t.
It was nice of Ryker to take care of me when he could have taken advantage of me instead. He pushed for Zeke when he could have said nothing, but he chose to be honest instead. He’d matured so much since our previous relationship.
Good for him.
Chapter Eight
Rex
When Rae walked in the door, I had tacos sitting at the dining table. Kayden was doing all the prep work for these meals. I just followed the instructions she gave me and had dinner ready by the time Rae came home.
I missed spending time with Kayden since I was busy looking after Rae, but at least I had my nights with my girl. Kayden didn’t seem to mind, wanting me to be with Rae as much as possible.
Even though it’d been three weeks, she looked just as terrible as she did on day one of the breakup. Her hair was always up in a bun, she never wore makeup, and her clothes were getting baggier and baggier.
“It’s time for a fiesta!” I started doing the Macarena.
“Rex, you really don’t need to cook for me every day. I can make food.”
I dropped my hands and sat at the table. “We both know you wouldn’t eat a damn thing if I weren’t here shoving food down your throat. So shut up and just eat.”
She sighed but didn’t give me any attitude. She sat down and pulled a taco onto her plate, her face looking more slender since she was dropping weight nearly every single day. “I have a favor to ask of you.”
“I already do you a favor every single day.” I pointed to the plate of tacos, rice, and beans.
“But I never asked you to do this, so it doesn’t count.”
I finished demolishing one taco before I turned serious. “You know I’ll do anything you ask. So, lay it on me.”
She was reluctant, like her request would put me in an awkward situation. “I need you to go to Zeke’s place and get my things...”
I felt my cheeks grow numb, and my appetite disappeared.
“A lot of my stuff is there, and I don’t think I can walk into that house again...at least not right now.”
I rested both elbows on the table and stared down at my plate, knowing Zeke would be devastated when I showed up at his door. He was barely holding on right now, and this would just break his already broken heart even more.
“I also think it would make it harder for Zeke if I went myself.”
I cleared my throat, finally coming back to the conversation. “Yeah, I’ll take care of it.”
“He knows where everything is. He can probably pack it up for you, and you can just pick it up.”
I nodded. “I’ll handle it.” I grabbed another taco even though my appetite hadn’t returned. I knew this breakup was permanent but going through the steps was still difficult. It’d been three weeks since the day Zeke called me. Enough time had passed for me to get used to the change, but I would
never look at either one of them the same as long as they weren’t together.
“Thank you.” She finished one taco but didn’t grab another, clearly not hungry.
I didn’t pester her about it, having other problems on my mind.
“How is he?”
“He’s the same, Rae. Completely devastated.” If it was a competition to see who was more heartbroken, it was a tie. “I’ve never seen him so low, and I’ve known him my entire life.” I watched her expression across the table, seeing the sadness in her eyes.
“I hate that he’s in pain...breaks my heart.”
“I hate that you’re both in pain.” They were my two best friends. “Rae, I really think you should reconsider...”
“Why does everyone keep telling me that?” she whispered. “He cheated on me. As in, slept with another woman. Could you just look the other way if Kayden slept with some other guy?”
My eyes narrowed because Kayden did sleep with someone else. “When we broke up, she slept with all of Seattle. Or did you forget?”
“Not the same thing, Rex. She did that because you dumped her. If she came home to you every night and said she loved you, you would feel differently.”
Kayden and I weren’t just boyfriend and girlfriend anymore. She was such an integral part of my life that if she were missing, my whole world would come crashing down. “If the situation were reversed, I would forgive her.”
“Easy for you to say when you aren’t in the situation...”
“Actually it is easy,” I said coldly. “Because this is what it comes down to. Either forgive Zeke and spend the rest of your life with the man you truly love, or lose him forever and end up with someone else who you probably will never love as much. That’s the truth in black and white.”
Rae’s expression didn’t change. “I don’t see him the same way anymore.”
“Because you’re hurt. But you don’t love him less.”
“No, I don’t,” she said in agreement. “But nothing is the same anymore. I can’t just go back to what we were because it doesn’t exist anymore.”
I bowed my head in defeat, wishing I could change the present or change the past. If I’d known how this was going to end, I would have dragged Zeke by the hair and locked him in my apartment until morning. I never thought he would get so drunk that he would do something that stupid.