by E. L. Todd
“It’s always good to talk to someone.”
“Yeah. You know me, I’m pretty damn stubborn. I told my mom I didn’t need mental help. But then I remembered the last time I refused to accept help...and I made a mistake I wish I could take back.”
I knew he was talking about me.
“Anyway, it’s been helpful. Maybe you should consider it.”
“Maybe...” I didn’t really want to sit around and talk about Zeke. I already thought about him every hour of every day.
“Or you could always talk to me.”
“There isn’t much to say. I miss him like crazy, and I’m so angry with him for what he’s done to us... But that’s it.”
He nodded. “Moving on from someone just takes times. You can’t speed up the process, unfortunately.”
I smiled even though the gesture wasn’t exactly appropriate. “When did you get so wise?”
He chuckled. “Well, there’s this woman. She walked into my life, refused to take bullshit, and made an honest man out of me. She changed my whole life, and now I can’t go back to the way I used to be...at least I don’t want to.”
My eyes softened, and I looked at the ocean, wanting to see something besides his charming face. “Thanks for being a friend to me during this time. I feel better when I’m with you.”
“What a coincidence,” he whispered. “I feel better when I’m with you too.” He turned to me, a slight smile on his lips. His eyes couldn’t be seen through the glasses, but I knew they had softened once they looked at me. His chin was smooth because he had shaved that morning, and he looked like the most harmless man on the planet. His arrogance wasn’t as apparent as it used to be. A strong sense of humility had overcome him.
Sometimes, I felt like I wasn’t talking to Ryker at all.
But someone else entirely.
Chapter Twelve
Rex
I didn’t know what to do.
Should I tell Zeke?
Should I not tell him?
If I did tell him, he would be devastated. But if I didn’t and he found out some other way, he would be even worse off. What if he bumped into them in the park or at the bar?
Yeah, I had to tell him.
I hated Ryker so much. Even if they were just friends, I didn’t want him anywhere near my sister. He broke her heart like it was worthless. He walked out with some stupid tramp only a week after they broke up.
I’d never forget it.
Zeke and I went out for hot wings after we both got off work. He was still in his dark blue scrubs, but he looked like he’d just rolled out of bed. Exhaustion crept behind his eyes because he wasn’t sleeping anymore.
I’d never pitied him so much. “How was work?”
“It was fine.” He drank his beer and watched the TV in the corner. “Same old bullshit.”
He never spoke about his job that way. He was just in a bad place and projecting his anger onto everything. “How’s Rae?”
“She’s the same...”
“Has she been eating?” He always asked about her well-being, looking after her through me.
“Yeah. She’s been good. Still going to work and stuff...”
“Good,” he said with a sigh. “I’m glad she’s staying active.”
“She put a ridiculous sweater on Safari the other day. Safari isn’t the kind of dog meant to wear a sweater.”
Zeke chuckled, just a little bit. “Wish I could have seen that.”
“I’m sure Safari has ripped it to shreds by now.”
“Yeah...I miss him.” He stared down into his basket of wings and fries. “I miss Rae like crazy, but I really miss him too. I still sleep with my legs pulled up because I’m used to him being at the foot of the bed. His bowl is still in the kitchen, full of stale dog food.”
The confession made me feel worse. “I’m sure Rae would let you borrow him...”
“No. Those two are inseparable.”
I dunked a fry into the ketchup and shoved it into my mouth. I wasn’t hungry anymore, but I was eating so I had something to do. The weight of my responsibility sat on my shoulders. Zeke needed to know about Ryker, but I didn’t want to be the messenger. “Zeke...there’s something I gotta tell you. And you aren’t gonna like it.”
Zeke looked at me, his blue eyes narrowing in defense. “Fuck... Please don’t tell me Rae is seeing someone. I just can’t handle that right now. I can’t, okay? So...anything but that I can handle.”
I cringed because he’d hit the nail right on the head.
He saw the painful truth written all over my face. “Fuck.” He ran his fingers through his hair, the anger stretching across his face.
“I went to her place on Saturday, and she told me she was going sailing with—”
“Please don’t say Ryker.”
I sighed in response.
“Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.” He dragged his hands down his face and released a growl that could have come from a bear. “God fucking dammit. I should kill him. I should cut him into pieces and drop his limbs in the harbor.”
Mental note, don’t piss off Zeke.
“I told her she shouldn’t go down this road again and—”
“What did she say?”
I left out the jab she made about Zeke sleeping with someone immediately after they broke up. “She said they’re just friends, and they’re never getting back together. She said she made that clear to him. And she doesn’t see why they can’t be friends...since you and her are friends too.”
Zeke’s hostility waned after I finished speaking. “She said they’re just friends?”
I nodded.
“And they’re never getting back together?”
I nodded again. “I’m just afraid that’s how it’ll start. It’ll lead to other things down the road...”
Zeke stared across the restaurant, looking at the wall with a stoic expression. He didn’t even blink because he was so absorbed in his thoughts.
I patiently waited for him to say something else, to snap and flip the table over.
“If she says they’re just friends, then they’re just friends.”
My eyebrow rose because I couldn’t hide my surprise.
“I didn’t trust her when I should have. But I trust her now. If she says they’re only friends, I believe her.”
This calm acceptance was the last reaction I expected. I knew Rae was being honest when she said she and Ryker were only friends. But it would only be a matter of time before Ryker left the friend zone and ventured back into the boyfriend zone. But I wasn’t going to tell Zeke that and ruin this Zen moment he was experiencing.
“Eventually, Ryker might try to make something happen,” Zeke said, mainly to himself. “But for now, I’m okay. I have time to get Rae back. I have time to make this work.”
I didn’t disagree with him, knowing this sense of hope was all he had left to hold on to. And as a friend, I would never take that away from him.
At least not right now.
Chapter Thirteen
Rae
Rex had formed a new habit of walking into my apartment without knocking. “Hey, what’s up?”
“I don’t just walk into your place,” I reminded him.
He pointed to the door. “Does your door not lock?” If he was speaking to me like a smartass, then he must have known I was feeling a little better.
“Does your brain not work?” I countered.
He rolled his eyes and ignored my final jab. “We’re going out tonight—all of us. I hope you join us.”
I knew what the word all meant. The last time I saw Zeke was two weeks ago. We’d broken up for six weeks, and it felt like an eternity. I wasn’t sure how I could be around him and not run my hands all over his body. I wasn’t sure how I could watch other women look at him without being jealous.
“Rae?” He narrowed his eyes on my face when I didn’t say anything.
I promised we would remain friends, and I need to make that happen. Of course, I wanted to see
Zeke again. I just didn’t want to ache the entire time. “Yeah, I’ll be there.”
“Good. That was the only answer I was going to accept.” He helped himself to a beer from my fridge and sat with me at the table. “So...how was sailing?” He could barely keep the rage out of his tone.
“Good. Saw a pod of orcas swim by.”
He drank his beer, still annoyed. “That’s not that cool...”
“And saw some seals too. Safari went crazy over that. I had to stop him from jumping in the water.”
“Oh...” He rested his elbows on the table and didn’t look at me.
“And nothing happened, like I said. Ryker and I had lunch on the boat and did some talking. That was about it.”
“I still don’t like this, Rae. Ryker was an ass to you.”
“I know he was. But I’ve forgiven him.”
“But you won’t forgive Zeke?” Rex snapped.
“I have forgiven Zeke. I just can’t get back together with him. You know that.”
“But you have no problem hanging out with that piece of shit?”
“As friends, no. I’m not getting back together with Ryker either. There’s no law that says I can’t be with friends him.”
“Wish there was...” Rex took another drink of his beer, still in a sour mood.
“Rex, you need to let it go.”
“Fuck no. If Kayden pulled that shit, would you let it go?”
I couldn’t deny that I would probably be just as protective. “Nothing you say is gonna change what’s happening, so I suggest you just accept it.”
“Well, I don’t want to see his asshole face.”
“Then stop barging into my apartment and sticking your nose where it doesn’t belong. We talked about this already, Rex.”
“No.” He held up his finger like he was about to make a point. “I said I would stay out of your dating life. You aren’t dating Ryker, so I’m technically not doing anything wrong. So, ha!” He lowered his hand, victory in his eyes.
I rolled my eyes. This conversation was so stupid, it was actually painful. “Where are we going tonight?”
“They just opened that new sports bar downtown. Tobias has nothing but good things to say about it.”
“Cool. I think the Wizards are playing the Thunder tonight. Should be a good game.”
“You wanna get a bet going?” he asked.
“If you’re gonna bet against the Wizards.”
“You know they suck, Rae.”
“Hey, I’m loyal. I’m never betting against them.”
He extended his hand. “Hundred bucks?”
I took his hand without blinking an eye. “Hundred bucks, it is.”
He grinned. “Hell yeah. I’m gonna take Kayden out somewhere nice with that money. And I’m gonna get some good loving afterward.”
I swallowed the bile that rose up my throat. “Good to know.”
***
I was sitting on the couch when Kayden and Jessie walked inside without knocking, just the way Rex did.
“The Pink Ladies are here.” Jessie held a black dress on a hanger, silver heels in her other hand.
Kayden had a thick bag over her shoulder, probably full of hair and makeup supplies. “And we’re here to make you look good.”
As usual, I was sitting on my butt doing nothing. I looked like hell. “Please come in...”
“You know that door is always open for us.” Jessie turned the hanger and showed off the dress. “What do you think?”
“It’s tight and kinda slutty.” I set my book down, Safari’s chin resting on my thigh.
“Exactly,” Kayden said. “Which is perfect for you.”
“Excuse me?” I asked. “When have I ever been slutty?”
“You aren’t,” Jessie said. “Which is why you need to be a little slutty. We’re ready to get you back in the game.”
I stood up and put my hands on my hips. “I’m all about getting a makeover. I look like hell, and we all know it. But I’m not getting back into any game, alright? I’m not dating anyone for a long time, so don’t even think about pushing me in that direction.”
“Alright, we feel ya.” Jessie extended her wrist and showed off the pumps. “But it’s time for you to be beautiful again. Show the world that you still got it.”
I smiled, appreciating the gesture. “Well...thanks.”
“Now get your ass up,” Kayden said. “We’ve got a lot to do. When was the last time you shaved?”
I fell silent because I couldn’t even remember.
Jessie nearly gasped. “We really need to get to work.”
***
When I looked in the mirror, I hardly recognized myself. With dark eyeshadow and some magical handiwork from Jessie, I looked like I was about to hit the runway. The dress was a size smaller than what I normally wore because I’d lost a significant amount of weight in the past six weeks. The heels were four inches tall, and I wasn’t used to walking in heels anymore. My body had been shaved, and perfume had been lathered onto my skin. I looked like a Barbie doll—with brown hair.
“You look so good.” Jessie admired her handiwork proudly. “This will really get you back on your feet.”
“You look hot as hell, Rae,” Jessie said. “Zeke is gonna drool all over you.”
I didn’t want him to drool all over me. “You don’t think it’s a little much?”
“Not at all,” Jessie said. “You used to dress like this all the time. Looks like you forgot.”
I was used to wearing the same jeans and sweater everywhere I went, not caring about my appearance at all. “Honestly, you guys don’t think I look like I’m trying too hard?” They were both dressed in heels and dresses, but they looked natural.
“Would we ever steer you wrong?” Jessie asked.
“Never,” Kayden said. “So let’s go out and have a good time.”
***
There was already a crowd at the bar when we walked inside. The popularity of the new place had caught on, and the enormous TV that took up the entire back wall played the basketball game.
I immediately spotted Zeke with Rex at the bar, in his dark jeans that hung low on his hips and a green t-shirt that hugged his nice arms. His chin was cleanly shaven, and his hair was a little shorter like he’d recently had it cut. “Ugh...”
“What?” Jessie asked. “You knew he was going to be here.”
“But he looks so hot.” I tried to get a grip on myself and keep my legs closed.
“Zeke always looks hot,” Kayden said. “Just ignore it.”
“How am I supposed to accomplish that?” I asked.
“He’s gonna think you look hot too, so don’t worry.” Jessie gave me a gentle push forward, and we walked up to the counter.
My heart was beating a million miles an hour.
I could hardly breathe.
I missed him.
Missed him like crazy.
My hands were shaking.
Before I knew it, we’d arrived. Rex turned to me first, unable to hide his surprise. “Wow, you look like a girl,” he blurted. “I’m not used to this.”
“Yeah, thanks,” I said sarcastically. I turned to Zeke, seeing him stare at me with the same desperation that I felt in my entire body. I wanted to wrap my arms around him and stay that way forever.
Everyone fell quiet as we silently stared at each other.
Zeke looked sexy and strong, and I couldn’t help but think of our nights sleeping together. I missed the feel of his wide chest when I was settled on top of him, warm throughout the night. I missed his kisses. I missed the way he felt inside me. I missed everything.
Zeke was clearly thinking the same thing, the declaration in his eyes. “What can I get you ladies?” he asked all of us, but only looking at me.
I’d backed off the drinking since that horrific night Ryker took me home. “I’ll just have a water.”
Zeke didn’t question me about it. “Jess? A cosmo?”
“Yes, please,” she sai
d. “Make it a double.”
“Coming right up.” Zeke turned around and spoke to the bartender.
Rex gave me a sad look, like he knew how difficult this was for me.
“Let’s go snag a table.” Kayden hooked her arm through mine, and we found a booth with a great view of the TV. We scooted inside, and to my misfortune, Zeke happened to sit right across from me when he sat down.
“You’re just going to have water?” Jessie asked incredulously.
“For now.” I couldn’t lay off the alcohol forever.
“I’m getting you a gin and tonic when you’re done with that,” Jessie said. “Loosen you up.”
“Leave her be.” Rex kept his eyes on the TV when he spoke, clearly speaking to Jessie without actually looking at her. Rex never told Jessie what to do, but he’d made an exception this one time.
Jessie didn’t argue with him.
“So, where’s Tobias?” I tried not to look at Zeke across from me, feeling his scorching stare on my face.
“He’ll be here after the game,” Jessie explained. “He’s working right now. You know, sports agent.”
“He has the coolest job ever,” Rex said. “Seriously.”
Zeke drank his beer and looked at the TV in his line of sight, finally pulling his gaze away from my face.
Kayden did a slight drumroll on the table. “So, Rex and I have some great news...”
“Oh my god.” Jessie covered her mouth. “You’re pregnant.”
“What?” Rex almost knocked his beer over. “Pregnant? Wait...no.” He turned to Kayden. “No, right? God, please tell me no.”
Kayden rolled her eyes. “No, I’m not pregnant. But Rex and I are moving in together.”
“Really?” It was the best news I’d heard in six weeks. I wasn’t sure where things were going for the two of them, and I was glad Rex was taking their relationship to a more serious level. He was clueless when it came to women, and I was afraid he was going to do something stupid to drive Kayden away. “That makes me so happy...”
“Congrats, man.” Zeke clanked his beer against Rex’s, a genuine smile on his face. “That’s great.”
“Thanks,” Rex said. “It’s like having a really hot maid that you can sleep with.”
Kayden shot him a glare.