by Anna Paige
She shook her head. “I don’t know what I think aside from the fact that it’s a fucked-up world we live in when people are perfectly okay posting a video of a nude underage girl on the net, just because she’s all of a sudden a celebrity.”
“I’m no celebrity.”
“Regardless,” she cut me off, rolling her eyes as she paced the length of the narrow trailer, “you were victimized, recorded in a school locker room, and further violated when it was posted online. Now, these fuckers want to dredge it all up for their own entertainment and ruin all the progress you’ve made.” She slammed her fists on the table. “I want to fucking break something or someone. I want this shit to stop and for you to finally be happy. You’re so close to getting everything you ever wanted and I cannot stand to see this happening to you. Not to you.” She was crying now, angry, bitter tears that she swiped at as she continued pacing.
“What do I tell Gavin?” I asked, knowing full well it would distract her from her outburst. I had to make her stop crying because if she didn’t, I was going to completely fall apart and I couldn’t let that happen.
“I think he knows enough now that you don’t have to tell him anything if you don’t want.” She stopped pacing and sat on the edge of the table, her cheeks thankfully free of tears. “But I think giving him the whole story would go a long way toward letting him know you trust him.”
I blew out a big breath and nodded. “You’re right. I need to talk to him, tell him all of it. It’s just so…”
“It’s not easy, I know that. I was there when it all came out, remember? I know what you went through and how far you’ve come since then.” She gave me a look of encouragement. “And I know you’ll come out on top like you always have. Gavin and I will make damn sure of that.”
I took a sip of my water and thought for a second. “How do I even explain all of this to him? What do I say?”
She came over and sat beside me on the couch, turning sideways and folding one leg under her. “You tell him the truth and start wherever you feel comfortable. Maybe with the foster homes. Or start in the middle and work in both directions, it doesn’t matter as long as you talk to him.”
I reached over and pulled her into a hug, more thankful than ever that I’d had her by my side all this time. She was more than my best friend. She’d been my only family for years.
And now it was time to pour everything out to the most recent addition to my family, the one person on Earth who I loved enough to reopen these scars and bleed for.
Gavin.
Evie met Gavin at the door and gave him a quick nod and pat on the arm as she squeezed by him to leave us. I knew she wouldn’t go far; she was going to hover until she knew I was okay. It was just how our friendship worked.
He closed the door behind her, his eyes never leaving mine as he took visual stock of the situation. I was better now. I’d washed away the mascara streaks, pulled my hair up under one of his hats, and swapped out my water for a bottle of his favorite ice-cold lager, something he only drank on the beach because he said liquor had too much burn for the warm sun and salty air. The beach required beer—that was his motto, and I wasn’t about to argue.
Especially when it was the only alcohol to be found.
When he flipped the latch to lock the door, something softened in his gaze and he offered me a small smile. “I told Bryce you were sick—too sick to be around other people. They had enough takes of your scenes anyway, so it’s not a big deal. Sky, Michael, Jenna, and I had one scene together without you, so we got that one in the books and then Bryce wrapped for the day, bitching the whole time but not brave enough to come verify your condition himself.” He scrubbed a hand over his wind-blown hair. “Bottom line, I took care of it. Now I want to take care of you.” The corners of his eyes crinkled as he smiled at me with that same adoring expression that—on any other day—would have made me melt into a puddle at his feet.
Today, it made me want to cry. But I wasn’t doing that again. I couldn’t. I fucking refused.
I’d get through my speech, dry-eyed and defiant to the expected reaction. I wasn’t going to let it beat me, not again.
I cleared my throat and patted the seat next to me at the table. “Let’s do this before I can’t.”
He didn’t say anything. He simply nodded and took one of my hands in his.
I mirrored his position, sitting sideways on my seat with one leg tucked under me.
“You saw the message boards.” Not a question, I knew he had, but he nodded anyway, giving my hand a squeeze. “Did you see the video?”
“No.” His face contorted in anger but there was something else in his expression that I couldn’t quite pinpoint. “I would never hurt you like that—violate you like those fucking gossip mongers have.”
I nodded, relieved. “Thank you,” I muttered, moving on before I let my emotions sidetrack me. “I was in foster care for a long time, going through several group homes and more temporary foster situations than I care to count. I was a ward of the state—they had control of my life and I was stuck with whatever they decided was best for me. I guess I should at least be thankful that they kept me in the same county so I could stay close to Evie, who was my only real friend. I met her when I was in my first foster home. Fifth grade. She was in my homeroom that year and we just clicked—instantly inseparable. Most of the time we were in the same school even when I switched homes, and the town only had one high school, so we were guaranteed to be together for that. Having her got me through some really dark times.”
He squeezed my fingers again but didn’t speak.
“At the end of eleventh grade, there was a huge scandal at school. Cops were called in and one of the teachers was escorted out in handcuffs. There was so much commotion that they dismissed school early and kept it closed for the following two days. There was a lot of speculation—drugs, student-teacher relations, embezzling school funds, you name it. But no one knew what really happened until that summer when the story finally came out and all hell broke loose in the community.”
I took a long pull on my beer and offered it to Gavin, who took a few swallows before handing it back so I could continue to pick at the label. “I was on the soccer team that year—my foster parents at the time required me to play a sport, probably so I would be out of the house more—and I was fairly good. So good that I pissed off the queen bee, Christy Webster. She retaliated by teasing me relentlessly about being a flat-chested foster brat.” I looked down at my full chest and shrugged. “I was a late bloomer. Anyway, the new field house had just been finished and we were the first ones to use it since it wasn’t intended for regular PE classes.” My skin got clammy and my palms began to sweat as I found myself back there, the smell of fresh paint seared into my brain, almost enough to sting my nose. I could see the shining floors and the polished benches in the locker room. “One afternoon after practice, I lingered in the showers to avoid dealing with Christy and her posse of mindless followers.”
I finished off the beer and Gavin shot out of his chair to get me another. I hurried along, rushing to say as much as I could while his eyes weren’t on me. “When I was alone, I stood in one of the full-length mirrors and looked at myself, really looked and wondered if I’d ever be as beautiful as Christy, have a body like that and that kind of confidence. I ran my hands over my sporty figure and turned to the side and back. I pressed my breasts together trying for cleavage, checked out my butt, stupid stuff most girls do in the mirror, I guess. Mostly, I was trying to see something beautiful or worthy and failing. I left that day feeling even more lost and dejected than I already had.”
Gavin popped the top on my beer and resumed his spot beside me, gripping my hand and pulling it onto his thigh where he held it tightly. He knew what was coming. He’d read the story, even if he hadn’t seen it for himself.
“The coach had a camera set up in the new locker room and was sharing the videos online. I was in a lot of them but I couldn’t be seen very well since my lo
cker was in the back corner and mostly hidden from view.”
“But the mirror wasn’t hidden, was it?” he asked quietly, already knowing the answer.
“No. The camera was right there, just to the side of it in one of the unassigned lockers. He set it in the perfect spot, I’ll give him that. Most of us girls were shy and changed quickly, keeping covered as much as possible, so he didn’t get a lot more than a few clicks here and there on the videos at first. But because my video showed me fully nude, examining my fifteen-year-old body, it was a huge favorite among his followers.” I felt bile rising in my throat and chased it back with a gulp of dark, hoppy lager. “The whole thing came out because of my video. It got so many hits, it was insane. And even more insane was that the reason the guy got caught was that my jersey was thrown over the bench behind me and someone recognized the school name.”
“Did he go to jail?”
I nodded, huffing sarcastically. “Oh yeah, eighteen months in county jail. The rest was suspended. I’m not even sure he has to register as a sex offender.” I crumpled the label I’d peeled off the longneck and tossed it on the table. “A lot of parents sued, outraged that it happened and that he got what amounted to a slap on the wrist. Not that anyone was outraged on my behalf. That would require someone to care and no one cared about me, not even the foster parents who were basically paid to. Not that I expected the state to sue their own school system on my behalf. I just wanted someone out there defending me, fighting for me, acknowledging that I’d been violated and fighting for justice in my name.”
“You deserved to have that, Kaiti. You deserved better.”
“And now here I am, reliving it all over again because someone out there connected my name with that disgusting video. Just when I was finally okay again.”
Something darkened in his eyes, his anger flaring. “I can’t take it away—goddamn, I wish I could—but I can help you through it if you let me. You’re so much stronger than anyone else I’ve ever known. This won’t break you. It didn’t back then and it won’t now.
I opened my mouth to respond and stopped.
Stopped dead as a memory flashed through my mind.
A memory of Gavin saying that exact same thing to me weeks before.
Oh my God.
He’d already known.
Because drunk Kaiti had spilled it all to him that first night.
All of it.
This job won’t break you, Kaiti. You’re too fearless for that. If what happened back then didn’t break you, nothing will.
I’d told him the entire story while I was too drunk to stop myself, and he’d never said a word, never let on that he knew.
But why?
Evie’s voice was suddenly in my mind, and it felt like a punch to the gut.
“What if someone on the show outed the video? Do you think that’s possible?”
“Like they say, there’s no such thing as bad press.”
That strange look on his face when he’d walked in, was that guilt?
I shook my head, trying to dislodge the thought from my brain but it was too late for that. It was there and it was eating away at me like acid, spreading through my veins until I thought I might scream.
“You knew,” I whispered, my eyes falling closed because I couldn’t look at him.
“What?” He sounded confused but the waver in his voice betrayed him.
“That first night, when I got so drunk I blacked everything out and woke up with you in my bed. I told you about the video, didn’t I?” My voice was getting shriller by the minute as I bit back tears of anger and betrayal. “You asked me why I was so afraid of auditioning and I told you the truth. I told you what happened to me, how freaked out I was about being on camera because of it. And you pretended all this time that you didn’t know. Never said a fucking word. Never admitted to the woman you supposedly loved that you knew everything.”
“Kaiti…I can explain.” He tried to hold on as I wrenched my hand from his grip.
“Does anyone else know—or should I say did they know before today? Did Bryce know?”
The look on his face was all I needed to confirm it. Bryce knew something, maybe everything.
“I’m not sure how much he found...” His expression was pained.
I narrowed my gaze on him, my tone deadly. “Found?”
He put his hands up. “It sounds worse than it is, I promise. Bryce hired this investigator—”
“And you knew about it?”
His face went white and he nodded. “I was hoping they wouldn’t find anything, but if they did find something, I was going to make sure they buried it. I was waiting until I knew for sure before I said anything to you.”
“You fucking knew there was something to find!” I shouted, tears stinging my eyes. “You knew! And you didn’t tell me you knew. You didn’t warn me about Bryce. Why’d he even bother with the investigator? He had you to pump for information!” I stood so abruptly the chair toppled over with a loud crash. Gavin shot to his feet beside me, trying to stop me.
I skirted past him and grabbed my phone from the couch, not slowing down.
“Kaiti, wait. I didn’t tell him anything. Please let me explain.”
“Like I told you that first day, tell Bryce to fuck off and you can feel free to join him. I’m done. With this job, with these people,” I paused and looked at him with narrowed eyes that I refused to believe were filling with tears. “And I’m done with you.”
I slammed the door behind me and sent a quick text to Evie, telling her to meet me at her car. Gavin had driven us to work that morning, so I needed her to get me out of there before I totally broke down.
I needed to get the hell away from Gavin-fucking-Lane.
Sixteen
Gavin
I was on the beach within a minute of Kaiti leaving, stalking across the sand in search of Bryce. He’d acted sketchy earlier when I’d told him Kaiti was too sick to come back to the set, and I hadn’t called him on it, being too worried about her at the time to engage.
I hadn’t wanted to react to anything until I knew she was okay—mostly because I didn’t want to get thrown off the set before I could get back to her. It had been all I could do to get through the scene, but I knew I had to keep my shit together and wait it out, give it some time before I went off the rails.
Now I had all the time in the world, it seemed—a lifetime without her because I’d kept the truth from her. And not just one. I’d kept Bryce’s secret, too.
I wasn’t sorry that I’d never told her I knew about the video, but I deeply regretted not telling her about Bryce’s investigation. Now, because I found too many excuses to put it off, she thought I had helped him deceive and exploit her.
She couldn’t have been more wrong, but I needed proof before I approached her again. I needed more than an earnest expression and the words ‘trust me’ to win her over. I needed to fix this shit, and that was exactly what I intended to do.
Even if it cost me my career.
When Bryce turned and spotted me coming, his eyes went wide and he started backing up. It was clear from my approach that I was about to shred him.
“Gavin, hold on. I just heard, and I swear it wasn’t me.”
“Bull. Shit.” I practically growled the words as I closed in on him, my jaw clenched so tight it ached. “You planned all of this, didn’t you? You let this leak so people would be talking about the show, so they’d tune in to see the girl from the video all grown up and filled-out. You did it for the fucking ratings, didn’t you, you soulless prick?” I stepped into his space and snared him by the collar. “You destroyed her for a fucking ratings boost!”
He was fighting for air, turning a pleasant shade of blue as he struggled. “I didn’t, I swear.”
I shook him hard, his feet barely touching the ground. “Who else could have done it, huh? Only you and I knew, and I sure as hell didn’t tell anyone.”
“I don’t know. I swear. Maybe it was Gus.”
&
nbsp; I narrowed my eyes. “After all the dirt he’s dug up for you over the years, on all of us, you think he chose now to betray you? To what end? What possible motive could he have?”
Bryce coughed and glanced over my shoulder.
I didn’t turn, telling whoever was there to fuck off.
Michael’s voice was low and even, like a crisis negotiator trying to talk a jumper off a ledge. “Man, I’d love to see you two beat the shit out of each other, but if this is what I think it is, you might be barking up the wrong tree, Lane.”
I tilted my head at Bryce, watching as he tried to nod in agreement as I spoke to Michael. “Why should I listen to you? You intentionally hurt Kaiti on set. If anything, I should have choked you first. Just in case. Not that I think this was your doing, it’s above your IQ level to think this three-dimensionally.”
“Fuck you,” he huffed at my back, but I didn’t hear him walk away.
I let Bryce go, turning my back on him.
He gasped and coughed and bent at the waist like he may puke. Michael was a few paces away, his expression unreadable as he watched Bryce gagging behind me. “Ever notice that when guys have beef with each other, they usually duke it out and get it over with?”
“Get hit a lot over the years, did ya?” I smirked, remembering the satisfying crack of his jaw when I’d decked him.
He chuckled under his breath. “A fair amount. And I’m betting you did too, but that’s kind of my point. When I pissed you off, you tried to take my head off. When you thought Bryce outed that video of Kaiti”—he didn’t even flinch when my hands fisted at my sides—“you went to beat his ass. Guys do that. We’re direct, for the most part. But you know who loves a good sneak attack? Women. Or at least most of the women I know.” He leveled his gaze my way, stoic. “Women we both know.”
I narrowed my eyes, his meaning clicking into place. “So, what would make you think one of these women would do such a thing?”
He shrugged. “All I’m saying is that if a woman will blackmail one of her exes into being too rough with the new girl—trying to scare her away—there’s not a lot else she wouldn’t do. A thing like this isn’t career-killing by any means, but it might embarrass and upset a newbie enough to make her quit just to get away from the gossip.”