by M J Sweeney
Despite the fact that it was midday and the sun was really hot, I lay on the bridge, soaking it in. And as far away from the stink as possible. My clothes and armour were over the wooden railing of the bridge, drying off, so I just lay there buck-naked, not caring if anyone came by in that moment. I thought about the day and was happy with my success. I looked up and could see two of the three moons in the sky, one higher and one lower down. They were Ei and Iss, the white moon and the blue moon. Maor, the red moon, wasn’t to be seen this day.
I fell asleep on the bridge and woke up in the afternoon. By my guess, there was still plenty of light left. I ate a dry meal, drank the last of my water, and then began gathering firewood. There was plenty of old timber lying about the house and barn, so I simply dragged most of this over to the pile of armadillo bodies and made a huge cone-shaped tepee of wood. Muttering a few prayers to the elven gods, I struck my flint and steel to the tinder until the fire got going. Soon, it was blazing sky-high. I got away from the area—there were no trees or bushes nearby, so I had little chance of starting a forest fire, but I certainly didn’t want to inhale any of those fumes.
Back inside the barn, after inspecting the poison, I decided to sprinkle some salt over the poisoned ground. With a short prayer to each of the elven gods, I asked for purification and healing for the land. Although uncertain if I was having an effect, when my interface dinged and confirmed I’d cleansed the area, it felt a bit like cheating. In any case, I wasn’t sure if the gods had answered or just that I’d done what was necessary.
My health remained short of full maximum, and my stamina at this point was basically empty. I was still feeling tired and sore from sleeping on the hard bridge, so it seemed I’d keep the debuffs until completely rested.
Walking upstream a short way from the house, I filled my water bottle. I also collected some of the fallen fronds of the willow, liking the shape, and pocketed a couple for later.
With a last effort, I decided to check on the house. Not sure what to expect, I scouted cautiously inside. It was quite dusty and full of cobwebs, but otherwise in reasonable condition. There was still a lot of furniture and household items inside; the place had clearly been abandoned quickly and never returned to.
I felt a bit like a trespasser, even though I had been asked to exterminate the vermin. After all, I hadn’t been warned not to ransack the house… Waste not, want not.
I began collecting anything of value. In the dining area, there was a set of four silver candlesticks and a nice set of pewter wine-goblets with matching silverware. All of the larger items I ignored. In the kitchen, I appropriated a few knives, a machete, and other implements I thought I could use. I also bundled these up in a couple of old canvas sacks I found in the kitchen. There were paintings on the walls, but not knowing their value and seeing the size, I decided to leave those as well.
I had a tricky time getting up the first staircase, as many of the floorboards were rotten, but I managed. Most of this area was actually cleared, so perhaps whoever was here had time to get some stuff, but not the rest. I’d probably never know. The best score was down behind the back of one bed.
It looked like a jewellery box had been knocked over and forgotten. It was partially spilled on the floor, under the headboard. I found a pearl necklace, a couple of rings, and a few earrings. They didn’t look like anything overly precious, but they were still valuable. But the real score was a folded document lying in the bottom of the box. When I opened it I saw the deed to the house and farm, registered to someone called Jarfairre Bes’Towan. A high elf name. I was sure Maximus would like to get his hands on this.
Gathering my loot, I went back outside. I checked on the bonfire and saw that it had gutted out. There were few remains, so I thought I had done enough there. The day was getting on, and the sun starting to set, and I was out of supplies, so I made the trek back to town despite being a little encumbered.
When Drognad saw me, he gave a little hoot and wave and quickly closed the deal on his latest elven housewife.
“When you didn’t return last eve, I began to worry,” he began.
“I know, I know. It’s a dangerous world out there. I did tell you I might take a few days.”
He nodded. “And?”
“Success. The job is done. Both jobs.” I carefully placed down my three bags, his vials first of all. “Take a look.”
He grinned and rubbed his hands a little greedily. He placed all thirty-one jars in neat little rows of ten, with one odd one out. He looked at the last three, where I had scored the copper lid with an X. “What are these?”
“Queen bee poison,” I replied.
“There was a queen? She was a bee?”
“No, sorry, just a manner of speech. She was a giant overfed armoured-rat, so I can only assume her poison is more potent. She didn’t manage to bite me, so I can’t actually say from experience.”
“And this?” He held up the last jar with the brain organ to the light.
“She had some kind of special sonic attack that… well, it hurt. I think that organ caused it. Some researcher might find a use.”
“You’re willing to give that and the queen poison to me da too?”
“Certainly; I don’t imagine I will find another alchemist so readily—” I heard my inventory ding.
Drognad was rubbing his hands again. “Excellent, excellent. Da will be most pleased. What would you like for them?”
I gestured at one of the labelled jars. “I’m guessing ‘minor’ is the first level of alchemical solution?”
“Yes indeed, why do you ask?”
“I’m getting to it. And so that’s considered journeyman work, and after that is master-work and grandmaster after that, no?”
“Yes, all true.”
“So which is your da?”
“He’s a journeyman, but says he’s close to a breakthrough for his master-work. Mind you, he’s been saying that for a few years now, so not so sure I believe him, ya?” Drognad was smirking slightly, perhaps at some kind of fond memory.
“All right, so if I were to… gift these last items to him, and he were able to make mastery sometime soon, then how about an amount of health-balm and health-cakes, maybe half as many as the first lot?”
“So that’s it. Let me think. He gets free use of this stuff now, and only if he makes mastery is he obliged to gift you the… let’s say ten of each item?”
“Sounds good.”
“Makes sense.” He did some sums on his fingers, clearly noting the health-cakes were more expensive than the health-balm. “All right, agreed.”
“Nice.” I heard my inventory ding, and once again horns and fanfare in the background. The heavenly host! I had just levelled again, but I would check it later. Gathering the rest of my gear, I stood up again with a small groan and began laying out my bedroll. “I would like to buy the belt from you, so once you get all the health vials out, can you put ten of each into the belt?”
He nodded.
“I’ll leave that for you to sort out; maybe tomorrow?”
He nodded again, smiling at my obvious fatigue.
“Now it’s time for a real night’s sleep.”
Chapter 6
The next morning, when I showed Maximus my bent spear and the large claw, he looked at me incredulously. “You’re kidding me, right?”
“No. A giant queen armadillo, yes. The breeder. But she’s dead, and your farm should now be good to go.”
“I’m not sure I believe it, after all this time.”
I looked at him sternly. “I swear by the grace of Anthul and Cylvai, it is true.” This time, I heard a single trumpet, and by the look of him, so did Maximus.
“Huang’s nuts!” he swore. “Sorry, I’m just shocked. Wow, the first wife will be so happy!”
“First wife?” I murmured and shook my head. “Never mind. The job is done; the claw is the proof. Keep it if you like.”
He picked it up and looked at it, then shook his head. “No
need, I believe you.” He handed it back to me. “My thanks; I am in your debt. What do I owe you?”
I thought that was a little sly. Luckily, I had access to my interface log, which showed me his exact words. “Firstly, the posted reward said two zorb, twenty dran. You said you would pay twice that, so this comes to five zorb, no?”
He nodded reluctantly, clearly now regretting his earlier words.
“And you offered me one undisclosed favour, saying I’d be in your debt.”
“What? No I didn’t, I said…” He thought back a moment. “I said…”
“Would you like me to witness Anthul and Cylvai again and see what they have to say?” I asked.
“I... no.” He wilted on his stool, then looked to the heavens, his hands in prayer. “Ma, I’m being robbed. Dryads are supposed to be nice, you always said, and now this dark-elf in disguise is swindling all my profits, my victuals, nay, the very ground out from under my feet…”
“Drama, little man. There’s more.”
He wrung his hands and looked at me suspiciously. “What?”
I placed all the household items on the bench-top, as well as the jewellery I had found. “I want to sell this lot.” I felt a little guilty about this, to be honest, but forged ahead anyway. I hoped Maximus wouldn’t notice. I assumed the usual “kill it, loot it” adventurers’ rules applied, and so anything I could get from an area inhabited by unseelie was mine by rights… sort of. Despite the rationalization, I still felt bad. I was selling his own stuff back to him. I clamped down on that.
Maximus looked at me unblinking for a moment, then shrugged. “All right.”
He picked up each piece of jewellery and marked some numbers with a charcoal pencil.
He then ticked off the candlesticks, the goblets, the silverware, and the knives I didn’t want to keep. “Comes to five zorb, thirty dran, two jeb, and eight oll.”
“All right. I also need more supplies.” I collected more travel food, then asked for a money pouch that would keep denominations separate.
“Oh, a roll-up.” He reached under the counter and produced a flat belt that you put around your belly and waist. It had four leather tubes where you slid the coins of different sizes, and a fifth for things like gems, rings, and jewellery. The whole thing could then be zipped and tied. I thought I’d be able to place that under my armour.
“Excellent, add that and the quality backpack I almost bought before.” I looked around. Some of the other mundane items caught my eye, particularly the lute. “I also want to look at your magic rings.”
He grunted, got off his stool, and motioned me to the back. After unlocking the cabinet, he pulled out a small black velvet tray with five rings, three runes, a gold chain necklace with a blue stone, and a couple of multi-coloured stones. He unlocked his bottom cabinet and pulled out a rolled-up pair of white woollen socks, a glossy looking blue velvet bag, and three scrolls.
“I have higher quality rings and amulets out the back, plus some scrolls in a special safe, so if you have the funds for those let me know. They start at about ten zorb each.”
“Gods! No, I don’t, how about just these?”
The socks seemed strange, the velvet bag interesting, and the rings definitely so. I knew from my prior reading that all classes could wear up to four rings, two on each hand, with rogue classes wearing eight, one to each finger.
“Can you tell me what they each do?” I asked.
“Yes. Mostly, all but the socks.”
I laughed. “Of course.”
“The rings”—he pointed—“these two are Minor Shock Resistance, one Minor Fire Resistance, one Minor Elemental Resistance, and one Minor Stealth Ring. The Runes are Shock Trap, Fire Trap, and Frost Trap, and the coloured stones grant a Minor Summoning Bonus. All of those but the stones are standard minor magic; they’re all permanent, and each one is worth one zorb twenty dran, except the Minor Elemental Resistance, which is five zorb even. The stones are thirty dran each.”
“Next, the Amulet of Mana Renewal costs nine zorb, fifteen dran. The scrolls… the first is a mage scroll, Greater Charm, Level II, and the other two are for a priest, Breath of Life Level II and Restore Health Level III. The first two scrolls are one zorb, each, the third five zorb.”
I thought the last was hideously expensive for a one-shot item, but what did I know? I kept my mouth shut.
“The bag is a classic. It’s been here for some time, as no one has enough coin to afford it. It’s a Small Bag of Holding. Anything placed inside weighs ten percent of the original. Inside is about the size of two large backpacks, so item size cannot exceed that. You couldn’t fit a two-handed sword inside, but you could fit a few short-swords, for example. Weight is not an issue. Almost every adventurer who lasts gets one of these—problem is, by the time they have the funds, they usually move on from a small town like this.” He sighed.
“How much?” I asked.
“Seventy-five zorb.” He didn’t blink.
I sucked in a breath. “Ouch. No wonder no one can afford it. That’s like the cost of a small house, right?”
“House and furniture, yes.” He smiled wanly, his little green nose twitching.
“Wow. I can’t help but wonder what a Large Bag of Holding would cost…” I started thinking of what I could do to acquire the magic bag. “And the socks?”
“Normally this kind of thing might come with a label or something, but nada. It could be a really amazing item, or it could be a gimmick. I’ll part with that one for one zorb, even.”
I had already read that a feature of Memory was that it was generally hard to identify magic items. Only specialised mages could identify elite magic items, and even then, if the item was too rare or too high-level, it was impossible.
“Okay, I’ll take the fire resistance ring for sure. Put the socks there too; everything else can go away.” I looked around. What the hell. “And how much for the lute?” I asked.
He retrieved it from the back counter where it lay. “It’s a nice piece, a bit old, and it will need restringing, but the casing is in good condition.” He knocked on it with one knuckle, and it echoed slightly. “Six dran for that.”
“Do you know where I can get it restrung?”
He shook his head. “Not really. There’s no luthier in town. Though you might ask Alhain; he’s a great woodworker, and he’s known to play.”
“All right, why not? Add it to the pile,” I said.
I decided I didn’t want the priest scroll of Restore Health, even though it would probably make a great hail-mary.
“Okay, this lot. One ring, one lute, one pair of comfy socks.” I smiled at Maximus. He was still looking bothered from our earlier dialogue. He did a quick calculation for all of that, and it was just over three zorb. A little more than I should pay right then, but I didn’t want to penny pinch either. He marked that off what he owed me, and paid me the excess, so I put the coins in my new roll-up—a bit over eight zorb. I felt another little twinge of guilt, but pushed on.
“Now for the favour.”
He groaned.
“I promise not to hurt you too much.”
“Gah! Get on with it!”
“I want the magic bag—”
“No! No! No! Not for a free party with Asphodel, Seti, and Llashet all to myself. Not a chance.”
“Hold on, hold on, don’t be hasty. There’s something else.”
He squinted at me suspiciously as I pulled the deed to the house from my pocket and unfolded it, placing it before him on the counter top.
“I assume this might be important to you also?”
He read it over, glancing at me suspiciously.
“Shit,” he said, under his breath. He looked really pained now. But also really mad.
“What are you going to do with that?” he asked. It seemed he knew better than to snatch it and run.
“I don’t know. I figure if I gave you this, you could resolve any ah… outstanding debts, and give me the Bag of Holding as compen
sation. Not to mention you’ve already promised me a freebie of some kind.”
“No, no, no.” He was shaking his head emphatically. “I’ve been waiting to sell that bag for years… no way.” It seemed his pride was up now, and it seemed he was disagreeing just because he could. It also seemed likely he didn’t actually have ownership of the house, as he wasn’t denying the importance of the deed.
I tried one more time. “C’mon Max… surely the house and property are worth more than one little adventurer bag. Now you might even rightfully own the house. Surely the authorities won’t want to see…”
I pointed at the paper and picked it up again, but trailed off when I saw his expression harden even further. He had folded his arms over his small chest, and was frowning. “Fuck you, dryad! That’s just blackmail, plain and simple. And extortion. No! I won’t have it. I’ve been without that house for over two years, a few more won’t make any difference. Now I’m done. Take your purchases and get out.” He pointed at the door and folded his arms again, glaring fiercely.
Shit, the little man was fiery and stubborn. And prideful. I was getting a little mad myself, so before I could say something I might regret I grabbed my stuff and stormed out. Shitty little midget! Some people are too hot-headed for their own good.
I stomped up the road to find Drognad busy, so I trudged over to the Titus and had a beer by myself in sullen silence. As I cooled down, I realised I’d probably been a bit too pushy and unfair. And I’d effectively stolen from Max, though I did wonder if the house was even his. I pushed that thought away. Innocent until proven guilty, you know? And I was the one feeling guilty. Like worrying over a sore tooth, I sat there and tried to summon more outrage and anger, and then finally realised I was just wasting energy and time. Sadly, it was like this with most of my relationships—they all went to shit sooner or later.
I sighed the long suffering sigh of someone who had screwed up too many times. I got up from my spot and looked at the job board, but there was nothing new there. I also asked the barkeep.