Her grandmother shrugged. “Sometimes it seems that way, but answering the individual call of God on your life is critical. Before those vows are taken, I mean. So many people try to do it the other way around. They marry without ever discovering who they are, first.”
“I. . .” Jessica couldn’t seem to finish the sentence.
“When your grandfather passed away, I thought my life had ended,” her grandmother added. “At first I was terrified. But those years alone gave me a chance to rediscover who I was, the things I had hoped and dreamed for as a young girl. By the time I met Buck, I was more sure of myself than I had been for years. When I married him, he knew he was getting a bride with some self-confidence.”
“You’re a strong woman. I know that. And I am too.”
“Jessica,” her grandmother stood and placed a hand on each shoulder. “Turn and look in the mirror.” Together, they turned to face the tri-fold mirror. What Jessica saw staring back at her was a downcast bride-to-be in a wedding dress that didn’t quite fit. “There’s so much inside of you waiting to be discovered, and I’m not trying to discourage you. I’m really not. Just set out on that journey, and God will show you what’s around the bend. In your giftings, in your occupation and in your relationship with Nathan.”
Jessica reached up to embrace her grandmother, not even trying to stop the tears. “I know you’re right.”
“You’re going to be a beautiful bride, Honey, and that radiance is going to shine through like a light that can’t wait to escape the darkness because it will spring up from your innermost being. In the meantime, promise me you’ll take the time for a little self-discovery.”
Jessica nodded, and as she turned toward the dressing room, tears tumbled freely down her cheeks. She carefully slipped out of the wedding dress, contemplating all her grandmother had said. It’s one thing to be happy in love, another to be happy in life. Had she really heard correctly?
Lord, I don’t want to be selfish with these wedding plans. Help me to find my happiness in You, and not in others.
Or my music.
Jessica dejectedly pulled back on her jeans and t-shirt. As she exited the dressing room, she turned to look in the mirror once again. A somber face greeted her. She forced a smile. I’ll work harder at being happy she told herself. Even if it means putting my dreams on hold awhile longer.
With a renewed vigor in her step, she turned to face the challenges of the day.
***
“Mom, I appreciate your efforts, but—” Colin never had a chance to finish the sentence before his mother cut him off.
“Colin, you’re avoiding the subject.”
He quickly shifted the cell phone to the opposite shoulder. For thirty minutes she had been sharing her concerns about his lack of a personal life, and the Bluetooth earpiece had grown warm to the touch. It was actually beginning to bother his ear a little. With both hands on the steering wheel, there was little he could do about that. He guided the car north on Houston’s busy Interstate 45 as she spoke.
“You’re twenty-eight years old, Colin.” She never missed a beat. “It’s time you settled down. Found yourself a wife. Had a few kids. I mean, the opera is a good thing, but there’s certainly more to life than music. It’s one thing to follow your dreams, another to give up your personal life.”
“I know, Mom.” He turned on his signal to change lanes, nearly dropping the phone in the process.
“It’s not like you haven’t had plenty of opportunity. To be honest, I don’t know how you could resist all of those beautiful young women in the company. There have been dozens I would have picked out for you. Dozens.”
Colin groaned inwardly. To be honest, none of the woman who currently sang with the Dallas Metropolitan Opera suited him at all. Many were prima-donnas, and the few who weren’t already happened to be involved in relationships. Besides, the Lord had someone unique in mind for him. Someone who had given her heart to the Lord and shared his passion for the lost. Someone who recognized that any gifts she had were given by God and not something to be flaunted or admired.
In short, the woman he was waiting for might be a long time in coming. But Colin didn’t mind the wait. Sure, he had grown a little lonely at times, but the busyness of his schedule helped. And once he returned to Dallas and the Children’s Chorus kicked off, his free time would be zapped with a host of additional activities.
“Are you still with me?”
His mother’s words brought him back to his senses and he quickly responded in his most reassuring voice. “I’m here.”
“I don’t want you to think I’m lecturing, Honey,” she continued. “I know this is your own business. It’s just that sometimes I wonder if I’ll ever have grandchildren.”
Colin smiled. Many times, he had thought of what his future would be like. A houseful of kids would be sheer bliss. He couldn’t wait. But what choice did he have, really? “You’ll have grandchildren, Mom,” he assured her. “I’m looking forward to being a father someday.”
“You’ll be a great one.” Her voice lifted. “And they’ll be beautiful if they take after you.”
“Mom.”
“Just hear me out on this, Colin,” she urged him. “I know your career is very important to you. I know that. And I know you’ve been given a serious, God-given gift that many of the rest of can barely comprehend or appreciate. But that gift, no matter how fully developed, will never be able to replace relationships. You need a healthy balance of both.”
“I know.” He sighed.
“Colin, I hate to do this,” she said abruptly, “but there’s someone calling on the other line. I’ve been waiting on a call from the cable company, so I’d better get it.”
“I love you, Mom.”
“I love you too.” With a click, she disappeared.
For the next few moments Colin fought to focus on the road. His mother’s words carried a sting. Many times he had wondered if he would ever marry, even wondered if perhaps God might require him to remain single so that he could accomplish more for the sake of the gospel.
But his heart told him otherwise. Truthfully, he longed for someone to love, someone to share his heart, his home, his life.
His passion for music.
Lord, I know I might not find everything I’m looking for in one woman. If she’s out there, Father, then please bring her to me. I don’t want to miss your plans for my life. I want someone to love. I want the joy, the happiness that a relationship would bring.
In the meantime, Colin surmised, life at the opera would have to do.
SIX
Jessica clutched Nathan’s hand as they moved through the crowd of people at Houston’s annual Grand Opera Benefit Gala. She looked out across the beautiful foyer of the Wortham Theater with hands tightly clutched to her chest. “I almost sang here.”
“What, Honey?” Nathan raised his voice to be heard above the din.
“Oh, nothing. I was just thinking out loud.” Jessica paused as she looked around the room, teeming with people. “I do love this place. Don’t you?”
“It’s okay.” He shrugged.
“Just okay?” She looked around at the beautiful room with its exquisite décor and was reminded immediately of the day she had raced so quickly across this lobby, barely noticing its beauty.
“At least tonight won’t be a total waste.”
“What do you mean?”
“I’m taking mental notes. Looking at that buffet table is giving ideas for our wedding reception.” He pointed to their right.
“Really? Me too.” A beautiful array of foods was spread out before the Opera patrons, beckoning, tempting. Smoked salmon, luscious fruit platters, finger sandwiches shaped into musical notes. It was all too amazing to take in. “So what were you thinking?”
“Basically, that all of this is just too frilly, you know what I mean? We should do more basic foods. None of this buffet line stuff. We need a sit-down dinner with good, solid food. Guy food.”
Jessica’s heart lurched. She had always envisioned a beautiful reception with a wonderful array of exquisite foods. Not expensive, of course. But everything would look and taste expensive. And the guests would be overwhelmed at the artistic beauty of it all. Grapes and strawberries would dangle over the edges of crystal bowls and luscious fruit dip would sit nearby. Vegetable trays would be adorned with carrots cut to look like flowers and broccoli sculpted to look like actual trees. She had a plan. An elegant, creative plan.
“All this talk about food is making me hungry.” Nathan turned toward the buffet line. “What about you?”
“Nope. Not yet,” she said. “Besides, I need to find Professor Wallace and see if he needs me. I’m supposed to be here to help.” Tonight’s event would benefit the Houston Grand Opera in a number of ways. Despite their recent rejection, Jessica still felt compelled to support the organization in any way she could. Besides, her favorite professor from the University of Houston had called specifically to ask for her assistance. She was to meet him at the school’s booth on the northeast side of the room. If only she could find it.
“Go on.” Nathan turned toward the food line. “I’ll catch up with you later.”
Jessica fought her way through the crowd, looking for the Moore School of Music booth. She located it off in the distance to her left, though she could barely make out Professor Wallace through the crowd. She quickly made her way in his direction, barely able to squeeze through the throng of people. “Excuse me.” She apologized as she accidentally bumped into a tall gentleman who blocked her way.
“No problem.”
Jessica looked up in surprise as she heard the familiar voice. Colin Phillips stood directly in front of her. “Mr. Phillips.”
His face lit up immediately. “Jessica.” He extended his hand. “I wondered if I would see you here tonight. I take it you’re an opera supporter as well as amazing vocalist.”
She felt her cheeks warm with embarrassment. “Yes, my music professor,” she gestured across the room, “got me involved during my junior year. I’ve seen every opera for the past three seasons. That’s why I was so excited to finally get the chance to audition.” Her voice faltered slightly. “But anyway, I’m really late.”
“I’ll walk with you, if you don’t mind.”
“Of course not.”
She turned and began to make her way through the crowd with Mr. Phillips on her heels. Why her heart fluttered, she had absolutely no idea.
***
Colin followed along behind Jessica Chapman as she made her way through the boisterous crowd. In her soft blue evening gown with her auburn hair swept up like that, she wasn’t difficult to keep track of. He envisioned her standing on a stage, singing in that beautiful blue dress.
All the way across the room, he fought the urge to ask her, one last time, to reconsider his offer to come to Dallas. No. I won’t do it.
When they arrived at the University’s booth, Colin had to smile. Jessica’s professor, a short, bald gentleman, looked a little frazzled as he crawled up from under the table, where he had obviously been searching for something.
“Jessica!” The older man’s face lit immediately. “I’m so glad you’re here. I’m at my wit’s end. I can’t seem to find our brochures. And I need someone to visit with all of the potential students that stop by.”
“Of course. I’d be happy to.”
“I started a list for people to sign.” He gestured toward a clipboard at the far end of the table, then immediately went to his knees again, scrambling through a large cardboard box.
Colin smiled, in spite of himself. This fellow was quite a character.
Jessica went to retrieve the list, and then began to chat with a young woman about music scholarships. Colin marveled at how easily she talked to strangers, how comfortable she seemed to be. She has such an easy way about her.
Professor Wallace stood, proudly waving a stack of brochures in his hand. “Found them!” He placed them on the table then gave Colin a curious look.
Colin suddenly came to his senses. “I should introduce myself. I’m—”
“Jessica’s fiancé, of course!” The older man added with a smile. He reached to grab Colin’s hand. “It’s great to finally meet you.”
“Actually, Sir—”
“I’ve heard so much about you,” the professor continued excitedly. “You’ve got quite a girl, let me tell you. She’s got a voice like an angel, that one.”
“Oh, don’t I know it.” Colin nodded emphatically. “Never heard anything like it and I hear a lot of great voices.”
“It’s Nathan, right?” The professor began to spread the brochures out across the table.
“Well, actually I’m—”
“I hate to brag, but I consider your fiancée to be my prodigy,” Professor Wallace interrupted. “When she transferred to the University her sophomore year, I discovered her. She was in my choir at the time. But once I heard her sing solo. . .”
Jessica approached in the middle of his sentence. She gave the professor a look of curiosity.
“I know what you mean,” Colin said excitedly. “The first time I heard Jessica sing I just couldn’t believe it. She reminded me of Sarah Brightman. At a younger age, of course.”
“I agree completely!” The professor waved his arms dramatically. “Same quality. Same tone. And talk about a range.”
“She’s better than most of the professionals I’ve heard,” Colin added. “And I’ve heard quite a few.”
Jessica looked up at him, clearly stunned. “Sarah Brightman? Better than most? Those might be slight exaggerations, gentlemen.”
“You’re one lucky man, Nathan.” The older man extended his hand. “
Colin couldn’t help but notice Jessica’s shocked expression. “Actually, Sir, I…” he started.
But with your obvious love for music, I’d have to say that Jessica hasn’t fared too poorly, herself,” the professor interrupted. “You know, it’s not always easy to find someone who understands a vocalist’s world. In fact, many of the mismatched musical relationships I’ve witnessed have ended on a sour note, if you know what I mean.” He chuckled.
Jessica turned pale. “Professor Wallace, this isn’t. . .I mean, this is—”
“The luckiest man on earth, if you ask me,” the older man interrupted. “But, regardless of your name, young man, you’d better be prepared to hang on for dear life if you’re marrying this girl. She’s going places. And fast. She’s already auditioned for the opera; did you know?”
“Yes, Sir. Actually, I was there,” Colin explained.
“Well then, you know what a jewel she is. And if I haven’t said it already, you’re one lucky guy.” At that, the professor turned to speak to someone else.
Jessica grabbed Colin’s arm. “Did you tell him you were my fiancé?”
“No.”
“Where did he get that idea?
Colin shrugged. “I have no idea.”
“This is so embarrassing.” She buried her face in her hands.
Colin reached to take gently pull her hands down so that he could see her eyes as he spoke. “It might be embarrassing,” he said. “But it’s also been enlightening. He was right about your voice, Jessica. His words only confirmed what I already knew to be true. You are going places.”
Her eyes filled with tears and he let go of her hands so that she could dab at them. “Do you mean that?”
“Of course.” Colin gestured toward the professor. “He knows it, and I know it too. But what about you? Do you know it? Have you made a decision about what you’re going to do with this gift you’ve been given?”
Jessica sighed. “It is a gift,” she acknowledged. “But I don’t know what I ever did to deserve it.”
“When God gives a gift, He doesn’t attach any strings,” Colin said. “We don’t have to qualify for it. And I have it on good authority that the Lord is a lot easier on us than that audition panel you faced.”
“No kidding.
” She chuckled.
“He invented music, you know. And I happen to believe He loves it.”
“He does.” A smile suddenly lit her face. “And I love it, too. I love the stories in the songs. I love the sound of the instruments warming up. I love the way it feels when the overture begins and the music swells. The whole auditorium just seems to come alive with an electricity that I can’t explain.” She closed her eyes, as if off in her own world. “And I know I’d love to have the privilege of actually standing up on the stage instead of just sitting in the audience.” Her eyes flew open. “I’ll get there someday.”
“Someday.” He dared not say another word.
Jessica’s brow wrinkled. “In the meantime, I’m content to go on working to help others reach their dreams.” She pointed to a young woman at the end of the table. “I just met that girl down there. Natalie. She’s been interning with the Junior division of Houston’s Grand Opera and she’s considering the University of Houston for her education. I think I helped her make that decision just now.”
“That’s great, Jessica.” If only you could see how good you’d be at helping lots of young people like her. In Dallas.
Jessica’s fiancé Nathan appeared at her side with a plateful of food in his hands. He poked at it with a plastic fork. “How are you supposed to know what any of this stuff is, anyway? Not that any of it looks edible.”
“Nathan.” She placed her hand on his arm.
“Hmmm?” He seemed too preoccupied with his plate to pay much attention.
“Nathan,” Jessica continued. “You remember Mr. Phillips.”
Nathan looked up immediately, and, as their eyes met, Colin couldn’t help but notice a look at animosity.
“Oh yeah. The music guy. From Dallas.”
Colin extended his hand. “Please. Call me Colin.”
Nathan shifted the plate and briefly shook hands. Very briefly. “So what were you two discussing?” he asked.
“Actually, I was visiting with the professor,” Colin explained. “We were talking music.”
Love at Center Stage: Three Theatrical Love Stories Page 20