She pulled away from Colin’s embrace with an embarrassing warmth flooding her cheeks. “Nathan! I’m so glad you’re here.”
“I can see that.”
Lord, please don’t let him misunderstand. I don’t want anything to ruin this wonderful evening.
“Good to see you again, Nathan.” Colin extended his hand and, thankfully, Nathan shook it warmly. Colin excused himself and returned to the throng of well-wishers.
Once they were alone, Jessica gazed into her fiancé’s eyes for a look of assurance.
“I hope you don’t mind that I came backstage.” His words seemed a little stilted.
“Of course not. It’s wonderful.” She slipped an arm around his waist. For some reason, he didn’t respond by pulling her close, as usual. Instead, Nathan pressed a bouquet of flowers into her hand.
“These are for you.”
“Thank you.” Her lips brushed his in thanks.
“Your mom and Andrew are waiting in the foyer,” he added.
“Did my grandmother make it? I know she wasn’t feeling well a couple of days ago.”
“She and Buck are both here. And Kent.”
“Looking for Kellie, no doubt.”
“He found her.” Nathan shook his head. “In fact, she sat with us tonight.”
“Really?” Interesting, since the double-date idea hadn’t panned out. Maybe God has a few matchmaking plans of His own.
“How long will it take you to get ready?” Nathan looked at his watch.
“Not long. I’ll meet you out front in a couple of minutes.” She gave him a peck on the cheek before heading back to the costume room. He didn’t even say if he liked the show or not. I’ll have to remember to ask him later.
Jessica met up with her family in the foyer after the crowd thinned out. They stood in a cluster, with Kent at the center of their conversation. He fought to hold Kellie’s attention, though she looked a little distracted at the moment. Nathan interrupted Kent’s antics to tell a joke, and everyone laughed. Except Kent.
“I’m here!” Jessica waved her hand triumphantly. Everyone swarmed on her at once.
Her mother whispered in her ear. “We’re so proud of you. The whole thing was wonderful. Just wonderful.”
“I’ll bet you had the time of your life up there,” Andrew added.
“Oh, I did. It was heaven. Probably one of the highlights of my life.”
“That’s my girl.” Her grandmother reached to slip an arm around her and pulled her into a gentle embrace. “So, was it everything you hoped it would be?” she whispered into Jessica’s ear.
“And more,” Jess whispered back. She knows me so well.
The family chatted non-stop as they walked the two city blocks to the Italian restaurant Jessica had chosen. She clutched Nathan’s hand tightly in hers, and silently thanked the Lord for this, the most eye-opening night of her life.
***
Colin left the theater alone. Might as well grab a bite to eat on the way home. But where? Many of the cast members had decided to have a late-night supper at a nearby coffee shop. Somehow that just didn’t sound appealing tonight. He looked up as Katie approached. She smiled warmly and his loneliness vanished almost immediately.
He gave her a warm smile. “Hey, you.”
“Hey, you.” She reached up to embrace him. “You were awesome tonight, Colin.”
“Thanks. You were pretty awesome, yourself.”
“We make a good team.” She gave him a shy look. Unusual. She seems a little nervous tonight.
“Yes.” He paused to look into her soft green eyes. “We do.”
Katie took hold of his hand and squeezed it tightly. “Are you hungry? Would you like to get something to eat?”
“I’m starved,” he admitted. But I would never have the courage to ask you out.
“There’s a great new Italian place a couple of blocks away. It’ll probably be pretty quiet. I think everyone else went to the coffee shop.”
“Right.”
“So…”
“I’ll tell you what…” he took her arm and placed it firmly in his own. “Tonight it’s just you, me and a plate of spaghetti.”
She gave him a satisfied grin and the two walked, arm in arm, to the door. As they made their way to Traviatta’s, Colin found himself relaxing. She’s such a great girl. I can’t believe I’ve waited this long to ask her out. Not that I really did the asking, exactly.
She shivered against the cool evening breeze and Colin pulled his jacket off. “Here. You take this.” He wrapped it around her shoulders and she looked up with a broad smile.
“You’re so thoughtful.”
Colin shrugged.
“I’m so glad we’re finally going to get this chance to get to know each other.” Katie said. “Without the whole group looking on, I mean.”
“Me too.” Colin pulled the door of the restaurant open and immediately found himself in a whirlwind of activity. Good grief. This place is packed. From across the room, he heard the sound of laughter.
“Hey, that’s my sister!” Katie squealed. “Go figure. And there’s that guy she keeps talking about.”
“Guy? What guy?” Colin followed her pointing finger to the table, where Jessica’s entire family sat, engaged in joyous conversation. “Oh, Jessica’s brother?”
“No,” Katie whispered in his ear. “That’s not the one she’s interested in.” She gave a light giggle.
“What do you mean?” Colin peered at the group a little closer. “Who else is there?”
Katie jabbed him in the ribs and nodded her head in a direction that left him without any doubt.
Nathan. Kellie’s falling for Jessica’s fiancé.
SIXTEEN
For days, Jessica floated around on a cloud of pure adrenaline. She walked herself through the performance time and time again. Each thrilling note had held her in its grasp. Her role in the chorus of Madame Butterfly had served not only to boost her confidence; it opened a whole new world of possibilities.
Every now and again, she would wonder why a bit of guilt would seep up and catch her unawares. Why should I feel bad about doing something I love so much? Perhaps, she reasoned, it was because of Nathan’s lack of enthusiasm. The morning following the performance, he had brushed a kiss across her cheek and scurried off to the airport.
Her grandmother, on the other hand, had offered enough support for a dozen people. “You were born for this,” she had whispered in Jess’s ear after the show. “And your father would have been so proud of you.”
As the days rolled by, Jessica found strength in those words. She moved forward with plans for the children’s production, though staying focused wasn’t an easy task.
An unexpectedly came late one Thursday afternoon, just as she pulled her car out of the parking garage at the Opera House. At first, she could barely make out her mother’s frantic words. Finally, however, she managed to pull a few key phrases from the conversation, enough to send her thoughts and heart reeling.
Grandmother. Stroke. Probably won’t pull through.
Through a haze of tears, Jessica now fought her way beyond the crowd of people at the Dallas airport. Colin moved alongside her, his shadow towering over Jessica and offering an odd sense of comfort. When they reached the security gate, her arms went to his neck immediately. They stood in silence for a moment and she could feel his heartbeat.
“I can’t thank you enough,” she said. “I never would have made it here in my car.”
“No problem.” He held her in a warm, brotherly embrace. She trembled in his arms, and whispered a frantic prayer for her grandmother as she rested her head against his broad chest. When she pulled away, the tears riveted down her cheeks, an uncorked bottle of grief.
“I’ll be praying.” Colin’s spoke the words in a reassuring voice as he squeezed her hands. “God’s still on the throne, Jess.”
“I know.” She forced a weak smile. Jessica then stumbled through the security process in a numb
fog and boarded the plane for Houston. As she took her seat on the 747, she released herself to the emotion, allowing gut-wrenching sobs to emanate. Never mind the guy in the seat next to her. Never mind the stewardess with her niceties. Lord, my grandmother! Don’t take her from me, Father. Please!
The flight seemed to last for hours, though her watch ticked by the forty-five minute flight with uncanny accuracy. By the time she arrived at Houston’s hectic Bush Intercontinental airport, Jessica felt a heaviness she could not explain. Somehow, she knew. She just knew. Grandma is gone.
Her brother met her at the baggage claim area, his face ashen. Though he never spoke a word, Jessica read the truth in his somber expression.
“I’m too late.” She whispered the words and his eyes swiftly brimmed over.
Kent nodded then reached to hug her. “Jess.” As he pressed his arms around her, she shook with sobs. By the time she stopped, Jessica felt completely drained. Her eyes stung unmercifully and her chest ached. All of the tears in the world couldn’t make her feel any better.
“Where do we go from here?” she asked.
“Everyone left the hospital about fifteen minutes ago,” Kent explained. “Mom and Andrew have gone home to rest. They were up all night. I doubt they’ll get much sleep, to be honest. Mom was pretty shook up.”
“Bad?”
He nodded. “The whole thing was just such a shock. Came from out of nowhere.”
“What about Buck?” A lump rose in Jessica’s throat as she thought of her grandfather, the pain he must be feeling right now.
“He’s at our place,” Kent reached to take her bag. “For now, anyway. Mom insisted. He’ll have to go home later on to track down some life insurance papers and other stuff, but for now he’s with us.”
Jessica nodded then followed her brother out to the parking garage in silence. She’s gone. The one person who understood me best in the world is gone. She suddenly felt guilty for thinking such a thing. How can I be so self-centered?
As they climbed into Kent’s car, Jessica reached for her cell phone. She quickly dialed Nathan’s number. I’ve got to talk to him. He needs to know. The phone rang several times. Finally the recorded message kicked in. “This is Nathan. Leave a message at the beep and I’ll get back with you.”
I can’t do it. I can’t tell him in a recorded message. She snapped the phone shut and leaned her head against the seat in quiet desperation.
***
About twenty-four hours after Jessica left for Houston, a chill settled over the Dallas area. Unseasonably cold weather locked the city in its grip, though Colin still managed to continue his work as though nothing had happened. He struggled with his feelings as he waited to hear something, anything, from Jessica. Should I call? Send an email? Anything at this point seemed like a better option than waiting, not knowing. For some reason, every time he thought about her, a pain gripped his heart.
Colin shivered against the cold as he crossed the parking lot after Friday’s rehearsal with the children. In spite of Jess’s absence, they had excitedly tried on their costumes and rehearsed their more difficult numbers. With a show in less than two weeks, Colin had his work cut out for him. Especially if Jessica found herself unable to return.
Ironically, just as he reached his car, Colin’s cell phone rang. He breathed a sigh of relief as Jessica’s number appeared on the tiny screen.
“Hello?”
“Colin?” Her voice broke immediately and he braced himself for the worst. “My grandmother—”
He listened to the rest with an aching heart. Lord, help her. Give her strength. The more she spoke, the more he found himself wanting to hold her, to tell her everything would be all right. After giving him funeral details, she paused for a breath.
Colin finally felt free to share his heart. “Jess, I want you to take your time. Stay with your family as long as they need you.”
“But we have a show in eleven days.” Her voice broke again.
“That’s not important. The most important thing now is to be there for your mom. She needs you. I can handle the kids.”
She began to cry in earnest now. “I, I miss… my kids. But don’t tell them what’s happened. Please. I don’t want to make them sad.”
How does she do it? She’s thinking of the children when she should be thinking of herself. “Jessica, don’t worry about the kids. They’re doing great.”
“They are? Do they miss me?”
“Yes, of course, but our rehearsal today went well.”
“What about the costumes?” She sniffled, and Colin tried to picture the look on her face.
“All done. The costume department came through, as promised. Jeffrey Weaver had a small problem with his robe. Too short. Other than that, everything looks great.”
Jessica sighed. “I wish I could have seen them. I’m sure they were adorable.”
“You’ll see them when you get back,” he said. “In the meantime, get as much rest as you can and spend some time with your folks. Just keep me posted. I’ve been worried about you.”
“You… you have?”
“Well, not really worried. Just concerned. I . . .” Suddenly Colin knew what he wanted to say, though the words rocked him to the core. He wanted to say, “Don’t you know how much I care about you, Jessica? I want to be there, to walk you through this. I want you to rest your head on my chest again and let me tell you everything’s going to be okay.” Where did that come from?
“Colin? Are you still there?”
“I, uh… I’m here. I miss you, Jess. And I’m praying for you. But I want you to feel free to take your time.” Oh, but please don’t take too much time. I miss you already.
“Okay. Once the funeral is over,” she sniffled again, “I’ll spend some time with my mom. I’ll probably come back next Sunday night.”
“If you’re ready.”
“If I’m ready.” Her voice seemed to change a little. “I’m so sorry, Colin, but I’m going to have to skip the performance at your church. I hate to let you down, but there’s so much going on right now, I just don’t think I could handle one more thing. Can you find someone else?”
“I’m sure I’ll find someone,” he said. “Please don’t think a think about it.”
Jessica sighed. “Thanks for understanding. Oh, and Colin. . .”
“Yes?”
“I just want you to know how much I appreciate you. You’ve been such a great friend to me. I didn’t realize how much I’ve come to depend on your friendship. I don’t know what I would have done without it. I really don’t.”
“It’s easy to be your friend.” His heart suddenly swelled with emotion.
“That’s so sweet. I appreciate your words more than you’ll ever know. And I’m so grateful for everything you’ve done – everything you are doing.”
“I love you, Jess.” Where the words came from, he had no idea. “And I’ll keep praying. For you, your mom, everyone down there.”
A long silence greeted him, following by a hushed, “You’re awesome.”
Then, with a hurried goodbye, they parted. As soon as the line went dead, Colin suddenly felt as if he would be sick.
***
I love you, Jess.
All afternoon long Jessica pondered Colin’s words. His statement, though hurried and clearly impulsive, had truly left her speechless. Surely, he meant he loved her as a friend. However, the more she thought about it, the less sure she felt. Lord, have I said something, done something to lead him on or give him the wrong idea? I love Nathan.
For some reason, Jessica’s thoughts immediately shifted to an earlier conversation with her grandmother, the day she had first tried on wedding dresses. “You can force something to fit,” the precious older woman had said, “but that doesn’t make it right. Living with something that’s uncomfortable or ‘not quite right’ is never a good thing.”
Sorrow overtook Jessica and she crumpled to her knees in a haze of tears.
SEVENTEEN
“I don’t ever remember a December this chilly.” Laura Chapman pulled her sweater a little tighter and continued to pace the room, as she had done for days now. The week had been a whirlwind of activity, and none of the pieces of the puzzle seemed to be coming together for any of them quite yet. The continual throng of people had brought some sense of comfort, but it felt good—really good—to finally have some time alone to grieve.
“Mom, you’ve got to stop,” Jessica said. “You’re going to wear yourself out.”
Her mother shook her head. “I’m just thinking. . .”
“About?”
“Something your grandma said to me a few days before she passed away.” Laura’s voice broke and she paused for a moment. “She. . .she told me to follow after my dreams, not to let anything stop me.”
“She said the same thing to me a few months back,” Jessica replied. “That’s odd.”
“That is odd.” Laura paused. “Funny thing is,” she continued, “My dream—the one I’ve put on hold for so many years now—is to open a bookstore. One of my own. I had almost forgotten.”
“Right.” For as long as Jessica could remember, her mother had longed to own her own shop. For years, she had worked in a large bookstore, but all along she had held onto the dream of one day owning her own place.
“The oddest thing has happened. I don’t know if it’s just a coincidence, or if God is at the center of it.”
“What, Mom?”
“Madeline is selling the shop. She’s moving off to Abilene to be near her parents.”
“Really?” Jessica had known and loved Madeline from the time she was a pre-teen. If she left the store, everything would change. Of course, everything was already changing—and so quickly, too.
“I’m just wondering if your grandmother’s words to me were in some way. . .I don’t know. . .”
“Prophetic?”
Love at Center Stage: Three Theatrical Love Stories Page 27