by E. L. Todd
“So, for the past four months you’ve been sleeping with random women?” Disdain was in her voice.
“I haven’t slept with anyone since the day I met you.” That was the truth. She was the only woman I had in my bed. “I got offers, like usual. But I didn’t want that. I want you.” Sincerity shined in my eyes. “I’ve never wanted to be in a relationship because they seem boring and repetitive. You can only have sex with the same person so many times before you’re bored out of your mind. But my friends have been settling down and I’ve never seen them happier. Then when I met you…it all made sense.”
“You haven’t slept with me. I may be boring and repetitive.” Sarcasm leaked in her voice.
“I’ve fooled around with you. Believe me, it wasn’t boring.”
She looked away, unable to stand the heat in my eyes.
I leaned over the table. “What else do you want to know about me?”
“You have an STD?” It was a jab, not a serious question.
“No. I get checked often.” I didn’t rise to the insult.
She kept her arms across her chest.
“You’re being really stupid right now.” The words came out without thinking.
“Excuse me?”
“We love each other. I fell in love with you the moment I laid eyes on you. You fell in love with me…I’m not sure when. And that’s all that matters. I know it’s under unusual circumstances but the situation doesn’t change who we are. You and I connected on a deep level. It was just there the second we met.”
“But I was open with you because I thought you were gay,” she hissed. “I never would have been so forward or honest if you were just some guy trying to sleep with me. So, the circumstance does make a difference.”
“I just wanted to sleep with you in the beginning but that quickly changed. I want to be with you for many reasons, and sex is the last one on the list. And it’s a good thing you thought I was gay. We wouldn’t have had this budding friendship without it. You may not have fallen in love with me without it.”
“It was still deceitful.”
Was she never going to come around? Was this the end? She ended the relationship before it began just because I wasn’t honest about my sexual orientation? “We’re already in a relationship, Ophelia. It may not have been official and it may not have been traditional but we were. We spent all our time together, and when the times got tough, you turned to me for help. You could have called anyone else but you called me—because you trust me.”
“I trusted you.” She didn’t look at me.
Why was she being so difficult about this? “You’re really prepared to let me go over this?” Disbelief was in my voice. “You’re ready to throw away everything we had just because you thought I was gay?”
“It’s more complicated than that and you know it.”
“You’re still willing to lose the man you love over it?” I asked incredulously. “That’s the bottom line.”
She turned back to me. “I don’t know what happened to the man I love. But he isn’t you.”
Those words crashed and burned in my chest. Nothing had ever hurt me so much. I lost my purpose in life. She ripped out my heart then shoved it into her tea, letting it freeze along with the ice cubes. She tossed me aside because she no longer wanted me. I was nothing to her, just a random person on the street.
I felt like shit.
Worse than shit.
My hands started to shake on the table so I pulled them into my lap so she couldn’t see them. To say I was devastated was an understatement. If I’d known this was how she was going to react I wouldn’t have told her the truth at all. I would have continued to be her gay friend because at least she was in my life that way.
Now she was gone.
I couldn’t think of anything to say. I rose to a stand and left my untouched coffee on the table. When I looked at her, those green eyes shined back at me. There was anger and hurt in the look. I opened my mouth to speak but nothing came out. I’d officially given up. This wasn’t going to go anywhere. I was pedaling a canoe upstream. I could make it if only I had another person to paddle. But I didn’t. I stepped away from the table and walked out of the coffee shop. I turned my back on her and walked away, feeling weaker with every step I took.
I lost her and I would never have her again.
I’d given up.
12
Ophelia
I’d never forget the devastated look in Jett’s eyes. He looked like the ground had been pulled out from directly underneath him. When he walked away, his shoulders weren’t broad like they once were. They sagged under the weight of his grief. But I sat there and watched him go. I didn’t stop him.
The weeks passed without anything eventful coming to pass. Time seemed to move like a blur. All I remembered doing was going to work then coming home. I’d been eating a lot of frozen waffles because I didn’t have the motivation to go to the grocery store.
Jett didn’t call me.
I didn’t call him.
I guess we were through.
He came to me in my dreams, and while they were beautiful and passionate, I wished they would stop. It was just torture. I couldn’t have him so the experiences were painful.
I couldn’t get over all the lies he told me. The entire relationship was based on fiction. I was so embarrassed for being so open with him. He was straight the entire time and I felt like he played me. There were moments when I questioned his orientation but I didn’t dwell on it long because I assumed he wouldn’t lie to me.
I was wrong about that.
There were times when I missed him so much that I didn’t care. But then the feeling of betrayal came back and I didn’t want to look at him ever again. Fortunately, he never came to the apartment so I didn’t have to worry about it. He didn’t contact me, and it didn’t seem like he contacted Max either.
I was sitting on the couch when Max grabbed his wallet and keys from the table. He was dressed in jeans and a black blazer. “You look nice.”
“Jerome and I are going out.” He put his watch on his wrist then clasped it.
Jerome was his real boyfriend, who I hadn’t met. “Have fun.”
He approached the couch while he adjusted his watch. “So, you and Jett are done for good?”
Why was he asking me that now? “Yeah.”
“Good,” he said with a nod.
Good? “Why is that good?”
“Well…” He shrugged in guilt. “I’m actually going on a double date with him tonight. He met some girl at a bar. I didn’t get all the details.”
My heart fell into my stomach. “He’s…dating?” We hadn’t spoken in two weeks but that felt sudden.
“Apparently,” he said with a shrug. “We’re going to that new bar and club The Flamingo. It should be fun.” He adjusted his jacket and checked the sleeves.
I felt sick.
“You’re cool with it, right?” he asked as he looked me in the eye. “Because I won’t go if it makes you uncomfortable…”
“No, it’s fine,” I said with a voice that didn’t sound like my own.
“Are you sure?” he asked.
“Yeah.” My voice cracked slightly.
“Alright,” he said. “I’m sleeping at Jerome’s so don’t expect me until sometime tomorrow.”
“Okay.” My fingers tingled with weakness.
“See ya.” He walked out and locked the door behind him.
I turned off the TV and just sat there in silence. My eyes started to burn with impending tears. I blinked quickly to keep them back. Why the hell am I crying? I told Jett it would never work. I let him walk out of the coffee shop with that hollow look in his eyes. What did I expect him to do? Mourn me forever?
Unable to believe what I was doing, I stood outside The Flamingo. I tossed my pajamas and wore the black dress Jett picked out when we went shopping. It was backless and tight, and I wore heels that made me look five inches taller. Guys passed me on the sidewalk, and when they whistled I
knew the outfit was a good choice.
What the hell was I doing?
Was I going to storm in there and interrupt his date? How petty was that? I didn’t want him but he couldn’t be with someone else? Every time I thought about him sleeping with someone it made me want to crawl into a ball under my bed and die like a skunk.
I didn’t get in line because I still wasn’t sure what I was doing. What did I expect to accomplish by walking in there? Did I really think Jett would forget about his date and take me back now that my head was on straight? That would never happen. I should just go. I missed my chance.
“Damn, girl. You look fine.” The bouncer eyed me up and down. “Get in here.” He unhooked the rope to let me pass then nodded me inside.
Without thinking, I walked inside. His attention stole my focus, and before I knew it, I was in the crowded club passing through people. A few guys turned in my direction but I kept going and tried to ignore them.
Finding Jett and Max in this crowded place would be difficult. They could be on the dance floor or in one of the booths. Or they could be at the bar. It would be a long search.
I started off at the bar but didn’t see them. Then I moved toward the tables, discreetly glancing in the dark booths. I recognized my brother before Jett. His dark blazer and dark hair made him stand out.
Jett sat on the other side of the booth and was listening to something Max was saying. But he was alone. There was no girl beside him. Perhaps she was in the bathroom.
What the hell was I doing? I looked like a stalker right now.
My feet carried me closer to them and I watched their interaction. Max was sitting beside a dark skinned man that looked at least six foot four. His hand was on his thigh. I assumed that was Jerome.
Jett’s eyes left Max and turned on me. When he saw me, he didn’t react. He just stared at me.
I stared back, suddenly feeling self-conscious in my tight dress and ridiculous heels. I stayed rooted to the spot, feeling my knees ache from standing still for so long.
Jett leaned back in his chair and regarded me with unreadable eyes.
I couldn’t tell if he hated me or not. It was a look I’d never seen before.
Jett left the booth then walked toward me. He wore the dark jeans I loved to see him wear. They hung low on his hips and hinted at his defined body. His broad chest was highlighted in a gray t-shirt. When I remembered him shirtless, I realized everything I was missing. He stopped when he was in front of me then stared me down.
I stared back.
“What brings you here?” His voice was void of emotion.
“Uh…” I stuttered like a loser. “I’m just here with some friends.”
“Where are they?”
“Around,” I said with a shrug.
He nodded his head slowly. “Are you really here with friends?” He knew the real answer.
“No…”
“Then why are you here?” He put his hands in his pockets while he stared me down.
“Honestly, I don’t know.”
He seemed disappointed with that response. “I guess I’ll give you some time to figure it out.” He turned to walk back to the booth.
“Wait.” I grabbed his arm and pulled him back.
He looked at me again. “What?”
“Max told me you were on a date…” I swallowed the lump in my throat.
“What if I am?” he snapped. “You don’t want me, right?”
“I…I never said that.”
“Yes you did,” he barked. “Not in those exact words but you did. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m on a date with a woman who does want me. And she’ll be fucking my brains out tonight.” He turned away again.
The idea of him being with another woman made me want to vomit all over my shoes. Tears burned in my eyes. “Wait.” I grabbed him again and pulled him back. “I’m sorry, okay?”
“Sorry for what?” His eyes held no mercy.
“For pushing you away.”
“Well, I forgive you. Now let me go.”
“I don’t want to let you go…” I blinked quickly so the tears wouldn’t fall.
He watched me passively. “What are you saying?”
“That I was being stupid and…I’d really like another chance if you’re willing. I really don’t want you to go home with some other girl tonight—as selfish as that sounds.” I took a deep breath so the tears wouldn’t fall.
Finally, the anger in his eyes evaporated. That cocky smile I’d fallen in love with stretched across his face. “I’m too good to share, huh?”
He pulled a one eighty and I didn’t know what to make of it.
“You’re just as greedy as I am.” His hands moved to my hips. “I don’t like to share either.”
“What…?”
“I’m on a date but not with who you think.”
I was still confused.
“You’re my date—and you’re late.” He pulled me to his chest and brushed his lips past mine.
“There’s no one else…?” Hope fluttered in my heart.
“Come on, sweetheart. There will never be anyone else.” He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me closer. He looked down into my face with a slight grin on his lips.
“So, you just had Max say that so I would come down here?”
“Don’t get mad about it,” he said quickly. “Yes, I lied and manipulated you. But that was the only thing that would get through that thick skull of yours.” He playfully rapped his knuckles against my head. “Now, will you sit down with me and be my date for the evening?”
All the pain went away when I realized there was no one else. It took me a long time to get here but I was grateful I was there now. Jett was mine and he’d always been mine. “Can we stay for like an hour?”
“Why?”
“Because I really want to head to your place as soon as possible.”
His grin widened and his eyes sparkled with delight. “Then let’s get this stupid date over with.” He pulled me to the table and scooted me into the booth.
“You’re late,” Max said as he glanced at his watch.
Jett put his arm around my shoulders. “As long as she’s here, she’s on time.”
Once we crossed the threshold of his apartment, he was all over me. “You really shouldn’t have worn that dress.” He turned me around and pressed my stomach against the kitchen island. Then he sent warm kisses down my back.
“Why? I love it when you touch me.”
He grabbed my ass and released a moan as he kissed the back of my neck. “Like this?”
“Uh-huh.”
He kneeled and lifted up my dress, kissing my legs all the way to my ass. “And how about like this?”
“Yeah…”
He moved back to his feet then guided me from the kitchen toward his bedroom. His hands moved everywhere and his lips were on my neck like a blood-sucking mosquito.
When we were in his bedroom, he guided me to the bed then leaned over me. “You know, we don’t have to do this now.” Judging the look in his eyes he didn’t want to wait—for anything. “There’s no rush.”
“We’ve been dating for four months. We’ve waited long enough.”
His eyes smiled. “You have a point.” He kissed my chest as he slowly removed my dress. He pulled it down my body and kissed my navel piercing as he did it. When the dress was off he left my heels on then moved to my thong. He kissed my inner thighs and pulled one leg over his shoulder.
I moaned as I watched him, loving the passion he was showing. Cameron never showed the same enthusiasm, even when we were happy.
He lowered my leg then gripped my thong as he pulled it down my legs. I lifted my hips to help him get them off. Then he tossed them aside as he stared at the area between my legs. “I’ve wanted to do this for a long time.” He moved his hands under my ass then dragged me to the end of the bed. Then he moved my legs back as he moved his face to the apex of my thighs. Then he kissed me with deliberate pressure, making me wr
ithe on the bed instantly.
Jett circled my clitoris with his tongue then plunged deep inside me. He licked me savagely, like he needed me to keep going. He sucked hard then rubbed my clitoris with his thumb.
That made my body want to come. I clinched the sheets around me, and my head rolled back. “Jett…right there.”
He quickly pulled away, his lips shiny from the wetness between my legs. “I want you to come when I’m inside you.”
I growled because I couldn’t wait that long. I sat up and yanked his shirt over his head.
“Someone’s horny for me,” he said like an arrogant jerk.
“Yeah, I am,” I said bluntly. I got his jeans off then pulled down his boxers. When his long cock was revealed, I accidentally blurted, “Whoa.”
That smug grin stretched a million times wider. “You think you can handle him, sweetheart?”
“Now I know why you’re so cocky all the time—no pun intended.”
“I’m a real man—unlike all those other boys out there.”
I gripped his hips and pulled him closer to me while I sat at the edge of the bed. “Shut up. You’re annoying.”
His eyes darkened as he watched the tip of his cock come close to my mouth.
I gripped the base then licked the tip.
He took a deep breath. “Baby, you’re fucking good at that.”
I sucked him then deep-throated him as far as I could. My gag reflex wanted to go off but I fought it.
“Whoa…you don’t have to prove anything to me.” He gripped my neck and rocked his hips as he moved into my mouth. But he didn’t move fast. Otherwise he might choke me. “Fuck, that feels good.”
I pulled him out so I could get some air and sucked his tip. Then I took him far into my throat again.
His head rolled back and he groaned in pleasure. “Sweetheart, that feels fucking amazing but I’m not going to last much longer if you keep proving how well you can suck big dick.”
I pulled him out then pressed a gentle kiss to his head. “As long as I made my point.”
“You did—a million times over.” He wrapped one arm around my waist then scooted me up the bed as he remained over me. “You have no idea how many times I’ve fantasized about this moment.”