by Jen Gilroy
“Ty’s growing up.” Sarah’s voice echoed in his head. She’d stood in the dusty parking lot at the fairgrounds, Ty hunched in the passenger seat of her Taurus parked ten feet away, her two girls, Emily and Olivia, strapped into car seats in the back, their blue eyes as round as saucers. “He’s making independent choices. You might not like those choices, but your way isn’t the only way. Maybe you should think about that before I bring him back tomorrow.”
Then she’d walked away, calm and unruffled as always. Her jeans and pink T-shirt hugged her trim figure, and her blond hair brushed her shoulders the same as when he’d met her.
Sean moved into the workshop and ran his hand along the benches to sweep wood shavings into a neat pile. He picked up a hammer and set it down again. Of course Ty had to make his own choices, mistakes as well. But why did one of those mistakes have to be with Charlie’s niece?
He looked around the workshop, at the skeleton of the racing canoe he and Trevor were working on. The scattered tools fit into his hands like they belonged there. They were the tools he’d used since childhood, watching his grandfather’s hands, his father’s too, learning the skills he’d passed on to Ty.
“Carmichael’s will be yours, son.” His father’s voice was as clear as if he were in the room with him. “I trust you and Trevor to keep the business going. Promise me?”
Sean sat on a three-legged stool, found his favorite carving knife, and angled the blade into a piece of scrap pine. He’d kept his promise because he’d always wanted Carmichael’s, but maybe the business wasn’t enough. Ty would be off to college in a few years and then what?
Shadow gave three short, sharp barks and Sean looked up.
Trevor came through the open door. “You’ll lose a finger carving in the dark like that.” He flipped on a light. “You’re letting all the bugs in too.” He closed the screen and gave Sean an assessing look.
“Who made you the health and safety police?” Sean dropped the knife with a clatter. “I have to find Charlie and—”
“If she’s gone, she’s gone. Another few minutes won’t make any difference.” Trevor pulled up another stool and sat. His twin wore his usual jeans and a blue T-shirt Sean recognized as one Trevor had borrowed from him and never returned.
“What are you doing here?” Sean tossed the scrap wood after the knife.
“I heard what happened with Ty and Naomi.” Trevor’s expression was careful.
“How?” Shadow leaned against Sean, and he rubbed her ears.
“One of the guys at the marina saw you come off the boat.” Trevor gave Sean a wry smile. “Heard you yell at Ty too.”
Great. His family business was public knowledge. “Who?”
“Kyle, but I doubt he’ll say anything else. You sign his paycheck. He won’t want to piss you off.”
Which was some comfort. “Linnie hear anything from Charlie?”
Trevor shook his head. “What’s with those Gibbs girls? A lot of the guys here had a thing for Mia too. Nick McGuire for one.”
“You never had a thing for anyone but Linnie.” Like he’d never had a thing for anyone but Charlie, even though he’d tricked himself into thinking he could make himself love Sarah the way she deserved.
“True.” Trevor’s smile was one of a man happy with his life. “You’ll fix things with Ty.”
“I screwed up bad.” Although he wouldn’t admit it to anyone but Trevor, today had shown Sean how much had gone wrong between him and his son. The kind of wrong it wouldn’t be easy to make right.
“So? It’s not the first time.” Trevor’s voice was amused. “Take it from a man who lives in a house with five women. Boys are a hell of a lot easier to figure out. You were a boy. Put yourself in Ty’s shoes.”
“That’s what I’m afraid of.” Sean grinned at his brother, then sobered. “How’s Mom?”
“I told her to stay out of your business, but she’s scared.” Trevor’s eyes narrowed. “You and Charlie can’t keep your hands off each other, but we all remember what happened last time. Although Mom doesn’t know we know, that loan business must have hurt her bad.”
“It’s not the same thing.”
Trevor snorted. “Charlie hasn’t loaned us money, sure, but she’s still leaving, isn’t she? And she and Mia still plan to sell the cottage to that Tat Chee outfit?”
Sean let out a breath. Charlie and Carmichael’s. The two things he’d always wanted most in life, now pitted against each other in a way they’d never been before. It was a situation that was a recipe for sleepless nights, and could not only hurt him but hurt people he cared about. Like Ty. His stomach lurched. His first responsibility was to his son.
Trevor sent him a long look. “Whatever you’ve got going on with Charlie’s your business, but thanks to her and Mia, we’ve got bigger problems. When you were at the house this morning, Brent Michaud, the Realtor, was over at the Gibbs cottage with three Asian guys in flashy suits. Younger ones, not the two who were here before. Suits. Except for Nick, nobody wears suits around here.”
“Charlie told me Tat Chee made them a new offer, but she and Mia didn’t accept it.”
Trevor stood and shoved the stool away. “Maybe Charlie’s telling you the truth and maybe she isn’t, but with the woodlot burned out, you can see their place real clear. Those guys took pictures, measured the frontage, and came right to our property line and took pictures of this place too. Even took a boat out. A big one they trailered in.”
Had Charlie lied to him again? She’d lied to him about the baby and why she’d broken up with him. And she hadn’t told him about the loan either.
Shadow barked and darted to the door. Sean’s MG rumbled into the driveway, and the light over the garage came on to illuminate the dusk. The tightness in Sean’s chest eased.
“I’m on your side, bro, but are you sure you can trust Charlie?”
“I want to.” Except in his heart of hearts, Sean wasn’t sure he could. Charlie had broken his trust too often, and Trevor knew him too well.
Trevor searched Sean’s face. “As long as you don’t get more involved than you should. Before you know it, she’ll be out of here like before. You’re not that stupid, right?”
“Drop it, little brother.” Sean raised a hand and then let it fall. He hadn’t taken a swing at his twin since they were eleven and argued over a hockey trading card.
Trevor’s brow furrowed. “I don’t have a head for business like you, but I’m going to the garden center tomorrow. We need to get some trees planted. The fast-growing kind. We also better think about hiring marketing help. Tat Chee’s bound to have one slick marketing machine.”
“Shadow?” Charlie’s sweet voice floated across the still evening air. “Where are you?”
The dog erupted in a frenzy of barks and nosed at the door as her tail spun like a windmill.
“Don’t forget we need to get ready for the class.” Trevor opened the door for Shadow, who bounded through it and raced up the path to the house.
The canoe-building workshop they ran the second week of September was so popular it sold out as soon as they advertised it. “I’m on it.” Sean wasn’t, but they’d taught the course so many times he could do it in his sleep.
“I trust you. You’re full of shit sometimes, but you always do the right thing.” Trevor’s smile was their dad’s, and Sean’s stomach contracted.
Sean left his brother behind and walked along the dark track to the house. A light shone from the kitchen window and Charlie was silhouetted in the open patio door, the lush swell of her breasts in profile as she bent over Shadow.
His heart pounded. The last thing on his mind was doing the right thing.
Charlie poured fresh water into Shadow’s bowl. So much for letting go of the past. Instead, she’d gotten herself caught in it until past and present were so tangled she couldn’t tell where one ended and the other began. “Here you go, precious.” She set the bowl in front of the dog. She could count on one hand the times she’d d
o that simple task before she left.
“Charlie?” Sean stepped into the kitchen. “I’m glad you came back. I wasn’t sure you would.” His shoulders slumped, and his arms hung slack at his sides.
Guilt punched her chest. After she’d left a still-sobbing Naomi with Mia, she’d thought about coming back to Sean’s place only to grab her suitcase. She could’ve left his car at the marina in town and caught a bus at the gas station. “I had your car and keys.”
“An arrest for car theft wouldn’t look good in those newspaper headlines.” Sean opened the fridge and stared at the contents like he didn’t see them. “Are you hungry?”
“No.” Mixed with the guilt was sadness. She hadn’t run, but he’d expected her to. And she’d wanted to. “I came back…” She swallowed as the words stuck in her throat.
He shut the fridge without taking anything out.
“You asked me to come back.” She shifted from one foot to the other. “Seeing Naomi and Ty together was a shock, and I didn’t…handle things as well as I should have. From what I’ve seen, Ty’s a good, hardworking boy, but Mia doesn’t want Naomi dating anybody. Would you tell him for me?”
Sean took her arm. “I didn’t handle things very well either.” He led her into the living room and shut the connecting door on Shadow. “But you can tell Ty yourself.”
“I wouldn’t know where to start. I’m not good with kids.” She sat on the nearest couch.
“You do fine with your nieces.” He flipped on a table lamp, then sat beside her.
“I sure messed up with Naomi.” And after what happened today, opening up to Sean’s son would cross a line she was too scared to venture over. It would make her vulnerable and a part of both their lives in a way she couldn’t handle.
“You don’t think I’ve messed up with Ty?” Sean raised his eyebrows. “I didn’t tell him what was happening in my life, and I should have.”
“You’ll try to get it right.” Charlie hugged a throw pillow to her chest. “Look at the example you had. Your mom and dad, your whole family was pretty near perfect.”
“There’s no such thing as a perfect family, only families doing the best they can.” Sean’s voice roughened. “After the way my mom’s carried a grudge all these years, how can you think she’s perfect?”
“She loves her family.”
“You ever think that kind of love can suffocate a person?” Sean’s face was etched with weariness.
“Your mom needs to let go, but you’ll try to get it right with her.” That was the kind of man Sean was. A man a woman could count on. Maybe even trust.
“I want to try to get it right with you too.” Sean moved closer.
“What’s to get right?” Charlie pasted a smile on. She couldn’t let herself trust, maybe not ever. “We both went into this knowing the rules. The past week has been fun, but you need to figure things out with Ty.”
“Fun?” Sean’s voice hardened. “It’s been more than fun and you know it. We need to talk about where we go from here. I want you to tell me more about your life. Let me be part of it.”
“Okay. Once you talk to Ty, we’ll talk.” She forced herself to smile again until her jaw hurt. “I still need to figure things out with the cottage. That’s the reason I’m here, remember? Besides, I had an update from Jason this afternoon.”
“Your journalist friend?”
“Yes. He’s got enough for a story.” Charlie’s stomach rolled. She’d gambled and lost. Like she’d gambled and lost with her investment portfolio. “Although there’s not enough evidence yet to prove the woodlot was an Abenaki hunting camp, Jason’s uncovered some environmental legislation that means this lake’s not big enough for the boats Tat Chee wants to bring in.”
“What about the casino?” Sean’s eyes widened. “Trevor said some guys took pictures over at your place earlier.”
“I don’t know what that was about, but there’s such a big public protest, the planning decision for the casino should be a no-brainer.”
“You mean Carmichael’s is safe?” Sean leaned forward.
“It looks like it.” Charlie clutched the pillow tighter, and her heart pinched.
“That’s great news.” Sean punched his fist in the air. “But what does it mean for you and Mia and finding another buyer? Wasn’t that the point of getting Jason involved?”
“Tat Chee’s offer is the only one on the table. The group from town hasn’t raised enough money.” Her voice hitched. “There isn’t another buyer yet. I really tried. Jason too.”
“Maybe with the publicity…” Sean stopped.
“It’s a long shot. The article should bring more tourists to Firefly Lake, and you might get more orders and requests for courses.” She’d been wrong, and she had to face Mia and fix the mess she’d created.
Sean’s eyes shone as he covered her hands with his. “I never wanted Carmichael’s or Firefly Lake to change, but some changes could be good ones.”
Charlie blinked away the unexpected moisture behind her eyes. She was all about change, but Sean was as rooted here as the old pines that grew along the shore, broken and blackened by the fire but still clinging to the earth.
He frowned. “Where does this leave you and Mia?”
“We’ll figure something out.” One day was all she had to let herself be here with him. The last time she could take the safety and comfort he offered. “If Tat Chee counters, we’ll have to sell, but I bet the state environmental agencies will keep an eye on them.”
Sean’s eyes locked with hers. “You’ll still let Tat Chee bulldoze your memories?”
“I might not have any other option.” After she’d spent time here and fallen in love with both the place and the man again, if there’d been another way out, she’d have taken it. “When does Ty get back?”
“Sunday afternoon. Sarah will drop him off before supper.” Sean’s voice was flat.
“I booked a room at the inn so I can be out of here by then.” She studied her hands. “The golf tournament is over and Blueberry Jam ends on Sunday. There’s lots of space.”
“You didn’t have to do that.” Sean took her hands away from the pillow and caught them in his.
“You and Ty need your space.” She squeezed his dear, familiar hands, then touched his fingers one by one to memorize their size and shape. “We still have tonight and tomorrow.” While good-bye sex wouldn’t solve anything, it might dull the pain, at least for a while.
“Charlie…” Sean hesitated. “You ever think someday you’ll have to stop running?”
“I get bored in one place.” The lie burned her tongue, but she couldn’t let him guess the truth. She had to run because it was the only way to keep her heart safe and protect herself from a soul-wrenching hurt. A worse one this time because she loved him even more than she had all those years ago.
“Maybe you’ve never had a good enough reason to put down roots.” Sean’s eyes narrowed.
Charlie flinched, then manufactured a smile. She’d given up on roots when she learned they hurt too much. “I’m like Mary Poppins. I leave when the wind changes.” She pretended bravado she didn’t feel, and her stomach knotted.
“It’s always been all or nothing with us, hasn’t it?”
“I’m an all-or-nothing kind of girl.”
He looked deep into her eyes for several heartbreaking seconds. “I don’t believe you. I love you, Charlie, and I think you love me too. More than you’re willing to admit.”
She did, but sometimes, no matter how much she wanted it to be, love wasn’t enough.
His house still had a scent of peaches. Charlie’s scent. Sean wandered into the kitchen. Shadow’s tail drooped as she followed at his heels. “Charlie’s only at the inn. She’s coming back after I talk to Ty.”
A car door slammed and Sean slid the patio door open. He waved to Sarah, forced himself to smile and grab Ty’s duffel bag—and to face his son.
“You got any pizza?” Ty opened the fridge, his back to Sean.
“No.” Sean leaned against the counter. “We need to talk.” The breeze that came through the patio screen held the first hint of fall. “I think I understand what you’re going through.”
Ty slammed the fridge door. “How could you?” He popped the tab on a can of soda and moved into the center of the room. His faded Levi’s rested low on his hips, and he wore a FIREFLY LAKE FALCONS baseball shirt. The team Sean had coached three years in a row to be more a part of Ty’s life. “You don’t have any idea what I’m going through.”
“Okay, maybe I don’t, but I’m trying. Help me understand.” And he had to get it right this time.
“Whatever.” Ty pushed past him. “Are we done?”
“No, we’re not.” Sean exhaled. Ten years ago he’d have sent Ty for a time-out, but his son was too big for them now.
“Whatever you say won’t break Naomi and me up.” Ty swallowed some soda and hooked one long leg over a kitchen chair. “As soon as I’m eighteen, I can do what I want. It won’t be anything to do with you.”
“I don’t want you to make a mistake.” Sean grabbed another chair and eyed Ty across the table. “I’ve made mistakes and I see a lot of myself in you.”
“So?” Ty crossed his arms and stared Sean down. A teen who was pissed off because he was hurt.
“Some of those mistakes have shaped my life.” And Sean would do anything to help Ty not make the same ones.
“Like having me?” Ty looked beyond Sean, out the patio door to the blackened forest. “Was I one of those mistakes?”
“Of course not.” Sean leaned closer. “Your mom and I wanted you. Every day, for almost sixteen years, my life has been better because you’re in it.”
“Even if I don’t do what you want?” In Ty’s eyes, Sean saw anger, hurt, and vulnerability.
“With Naomi, you mean?” Sean steadied his breathing. “I overreacted on Friday, but the two of you together, it…” He stopped. Who was he to judge? At Ty and Naomi’s age, he and Charlie were making out. They’d just never been caught.