by Jen Gilroy
Charlie pictured the fireplace in Sean’s house on a cold winter night. Logs would crackle as orange flames danced in the grate and the sweet scent of wood smoke curled up the chimney. Sean would be stretched out on the couch with Shadow at his feet, snow drifting outside and the lake thick with ice. “I’ll wait for you at the end of his driveway when I’m done.” Done doing what she had to do for Mia and for herself. The only choice to keep her safe.
As a Luke Bryan song blared out of Ty’s iPod, Sean shut down his laptop, flipped off the lights in the office, and moved into the main workshop. He straightened scattered tools and tapped his booted feet in time to Luke’s voice as he remembered the excitement on Crystal’s face and in her voice when he’d talked to her earlier. And such a flood of ideas, he’d need to rein her in. But not yet, not when he’d opened the door to make a dream come true. A dream he hadn’t realized she had but one that warmed his heart maybe even more than hers.
Shadow barked and darted to the door.
Sean sensed Charlie’s presence and smelled her peach scent. Then the screen door squeaked and she was there. Her curvy body was poured into tight white jeans. A coral T-shirt with a scoop neck outlined her luscious breasts.
“Hey, Sunshine.” Emotion made his voice husky. “You get my voice mail? The whole town’s talking about Jason’s article. My phone hasn’t stopped ringing.”
“That’s good.” Her voice was low and tight.
Sean moved toward her, but she sidestepped him and ducked behind a workbench. “You wrote it, didn’t you?”
“Not exactly.” Her gaze was fixed on a point above his head.
“The byline might say Jason Rossi, but I’d recognize your writing anywhere. Besides, you took the picture of Shadow and me he used.” The back of Sean’s neck prickled. Something wasn’t right, starting with that look in Charlie’s eyes. A look he didn’t trust.
“I helped Jason a lot, but you can’t tell anyone. Nobody but Mia knows. I thought it would help us, but…” She finally met his gaze, but her eyes were still blank.
“Of course I won’t. What you did for me and Firefly Lake is amazing.” But why had she done it?
“Where’s Ty?” She fiddled with Shadow’s collar.
“At the house. A baseball game just started on TV.” Sean tried to smile. “We won’t be interrupted. If you can stay awhile I’ll take you back to the inn.”
“I can’t. We leave early tomorrow. This is good-bye.” Her voice was devoid of emotion.
Charlie was on the run again. The look in her eyes told him she was scared, like a deer he’d found in the woods once with its leg caught in a trap. His body went cold, and sweat trickled between his shoulder blades. “It doesn’t have to be good-bye. We need to talk this out. Before we never talked and—”
“It’s best this way.” Her voice hitched.
“Best for who?” He tried to look her in the eye, but she avoided his gaze and, as he reached for her, she slid toward the door. “Not best for me and not best for you either.”
“Don’t. Please don’t touch me. If you touch me, I…” Her chest heaved, and she wrung her hands.
“I want to be with you. These past few weeks, you’ve shown me what’s missing in my life.” Like fun and laughter and the ease of being with someone who knew him better than he sometimes knew himself. “It’s not too late to try again.”
“It’s too late for me.” The words were as distant as her voice.
Luke moved on to a love song, slow and sweet, and Sean shut the music off. His heart pounded so hard he had to remind himself to keep breathing. “Why?” Eighteen years ago, he’d made the mistake of letting her run out of his life, and he’d paid for it ever since.
“It just is.” Her Charlotte voice was back. That clipped stranger, but her eyes were no longer blank but filled with so much pain Sean’s stomach dropped. “I’m fit for international assignments, so I’m going back to work like I planned. I’ll sign the papers for the cottage sale as soon as Nick and the Realtor work out a new deal with Tat Chee.”
Sean’s vision blurred. “I thought you loved me.”
“I do.” Her voice shook. “But I can’t let myself…I just can’t.” She sucked in several breaths. “Please believe me when I say any offer we accept for the cottage will be for something that won’t hurt Carmichael’s or Firefly Lake.”
Something shifted inside Sean. His breath hitched, his body tensed, and his throat grew tight, painful. “Forget about the cottage. I’m talking about you and me. I let you into my life, but you…you’re lying to me again, aren’t you? You’re using the cottage and your job as an excuse to run out without dealing with the real issue here.”
“No.” Her voice was an anguished moan. “My job is all I have. All I can count on.” Her eyes glistened.
“This time you can count on me. I want to be there for you.” His voice was raw. “I know you’re scared. I’m scared too. I never said you had to give up your job. If you really want to, we can work it out. Commute, whatever. I’m proud of you for what you’ve achieved, but do you really think you should go back into the field?”
“It’s the only work I know. I’m good at it.” She stuck her chin out.
“Of course you’re good at it. You’d be good at anything you tackled.” He had to make her understand it wasn’t a choice between her job and him. It was about whether they could trust each other enough to figure out a future together. “All I want is for you to let me love you, to build a life here with you. Won’t you even try?”
“I can’t.” Her voice cracked and she knelt, wrapped her arms around Shadow, and buried her face in the dog’s fur.
“You can.” He pushed out the words. “Trust me—”
“Dad cheated on Mom, over and over again. Mia told me tonight. And now Jay’s left Mia. He ran off with a woman almost half his age. That’s why Mia needs the money from the cottage sale.” A guttural moan escaped from her throat. “My family was so messed up, I can’t make good choices. I’d only hurt you.”
“You need to trust yourself to make good choices. I’m not your dad, and I’m not Jay either.” Sean let out a shuddery breath. Thanks to small-town gossip, everyone knew what Dr. Gibbs had gotten up to. But he’d always tried to shield Charlie from the truth. Until this summer, he’d never suspected Mia had done the same.
“I could hurt Ty too.”
Sean’s heart pinched. His son would soon be a man, but he still needed a family. A stable family and a dad he could count on. He couldn’t let Ty get hurt, and Charlie knew it.
She let go of Shadow and stood to face him. “You love your son. Like you’d have loved our baby.” Her voice broke and Sean’s heart broke along with it. “I can’t let you say things you don’t mean.”
“Why do you think I don’t mean them?”
“Maybe you do now, but what about a year from now? Five years?” She put a hand to her heart. “You’d be here, always waiting for me to come back from an assignment. Or what if something happened and I didn’t come back?”
The magnitude of the risks she faced hit him afresh. He couldn’t keep her safe. Couldn’t protect her like he wanted to. “Did you ever think it doesn’t have to be your life?”
“I fought hard for my job. I can’t let it go. I can’t let myself…” Her shoulders shook. “You deserve a lot more than I can give you. I can’t take a chance on loving you, and it all going wrong. I can’t trust myself, so how can I trust you or us?”
Shadow whimpered. Charlie linked her hands together and backed away from the dog.
“You haven’t tried. You haven’t let me try either.” Sean watched her for endless seconds as her expression hardened, the barriers slid back, and the Charlie he loved turned into the unknown Charlotte. “This is it? Good-bye?”
“It has to be.” Her voice was steady. She kissed his cheek, her lips icy.
“You ever think you’re telling other people’s stories because you can’t face your own?” Sean touched his face and t
raced the imprint of her mouth. She’d dumped him. Again. His body went cold, anger mixed with bone-deep hurt. She’d walk out that door and he’d never see her again. And she wouldn’t let him fight for her, for them.
She flushed. “You ever think you’re doing what your grandfather wanted, what your dad wanted, because you can’t bear to disappoint your family?” She stared him down. “What were you ever willing to give up for me or risk for me?”
“You know I wanted Carmichael’s. It’s not the same…” Sean stopped as his stomach churned. “It isn’t.”
“Why not?” She straightened her shoulders. “You expect me to change, but you can’t change either. You say all the right things, sure, but you still can’t come visit me. You can’t even go away for a few days with me.”
“I have responsibilities and—”
“That’s my point. You’ve got Ty and Carmichael’s and this town and everything that goes along with them. You always have and always will.”
Sean’s lips moved, but Charlie couldn’t hear his words above the roar in her ears. The agony on his face, though, slammed into her heart. She eased Shadow away from her legs. “No, precious, you can’t come with me. Not this time.” She choked back a sob.
With a last, heartrending look at Sean, she opened the door and stumbled into the night, her legs like jelly. She wouldn’t cry. Not even back at the inn with Mia and the girls. She had to keep herself together until she was alone.
In the darkness of the driveway beyond the house, she grabbed a tree trunk. The bark cut into her palm. What had she done? She swayed as she fought nausea and willed herself not to throw up.
She’d saved herself a lot of heartache. Sean might think he wanted her, but Mia was right. It was a fling. They’d both gone into it aware of the rules. Even though she might have tricked herself into thinking they had, those rules hadn’t changed. She didn’t have it in her to give Sean what he needed.
And Sean couldn’t give her what she needed either. Although he’d never cheat on her, she’d hoped he’d be able to change for her, reach out and take a chance for her, for them. If he loved her enough.
She took her hand away from the tree and set one foot in front of the other, her sneakers crunching on the gravel. She’d put herself back together before and she’d do it again.
The wind picked up and brought with it the scent of a campfire, of dead leaves, of fall. Rubbing her bare arms, she walked to the end of the driveway and stood by the mailbox, which gleamed white in the starlight. Sean wouldn’t mean to hurt her, but he would in the end because he couldn’t change for her.
If she was right about what she’d read in his face, he hadn’t thought about the need to change for her. And she couldn’t change enough for the two of them.
Headlights swept around the curve of the road, and Mia’s rental car slowed and pulled to a stop beside her. Charlie wrenched open the passenger door. “Hey, girls.” She plastered a smile on her face.
“Charlie?” Mia peered at her from behind the wheel. Her eyes were puffy and red behind the glasses she never wore.
She clicked her seat belt into place. “I’m fine.” Or she would be as soon as she left Firefly Lake and made herself forget about loving Sean.
“Linnie gave me ice cream,” Emma said from the backseat. “Chocolate and strawberry. Two whole scoops.” She giggled. “Way bigger scoops than Mom ever gives me.”
“That’s exciting.” Charlie turned to look at her niece. Her heart ached for Mia and Naomi and Emma too. She glanced at Naomi, who stared out the side window. “Did you have ice cream?”
Naomi shook her head. “I wasn’t hungry.” She fingered the silver wishbone on her necklace, unsmiling. In her expression, Charlie read the truth. Somehow, she already knew what was coming. Knew her family was shattering around her.
Charlie reached for Naomi’s hand between the seats. “It’ll be okay, I promise.”
Except she didn’t know if she wanted to reassure Naomi or herself.
Chapter Nineteen
Naomi scanned the lake again. Her mom could drag her away from the inn and Firefly Lake with no notice, but she had to say good-bye to Ty. After today, she’d probably never see him again.
She sat on one of the suitcases and tapped a sandaled foot against the veranda floor. Ty’s text had said he’d be here by eight thirty. Where was he?
“We’re leaving in ten minutes, honey.” Auntie Charlotte propped her backpack against the suitcases.
“I can’t. Ty said he’d come say good-bye. I have to wait.” Naomi rubbed a hand across her eyes.
“I know.” Auntie Charlotte wrapped an arm around Naomi’s shoulders. “But he might not come, and you have to accept that. You’ll be back at school soon, with your friends and your regular routine, and Ty—”
“He’ll come. I know he will.” Naomi turned back to the lake, where white-tipped waves tumbled onto the sandy beach. “See?” She pointed to the motorboat at the dock. “I knew Ty wouldn’t let me down.”
Auntie Charlotte sighed. She wore a pair of old jeans and a wrinkled pink T-shirt, and there were dark circles under her eyes. “You go on. I’ll talk to your mom. Stay where I can see you.”
“We won’t…you know.” Naomi’s cheeks were hot. “I mean…”
“I know what you mean, but I also remember what it’s like to be fifteen. Even from the little I’ve seen, Ty’s a lot like his dad.” She gave Naomi a tiny smile. “Scoot, before I change my mind.”
“You’re the best.” Naomi half ran, half slid down the hill behind the inn to the lake, the dew on the grass cold between her toes.
Ty met her halfway. “Sorry I’m late. My dad was pretty bent out of shape this morning, but when I told him I was coming to see you he didn’t stop me.”
“You really told him?” Naomi looked up at him, blond and gorgeous, and something inside her melted.
“Of course. I’m done sneaking around.” Ty’s grin showed a dimple in his right cheek she hadn’t noticed before.
“On the boat, you and me, I never meant…It was only, I…” Naomi looked at her feet. “I’m sorry.”
“Hey.” Ty pulled her against his shoulder. “It’s okay. I went too fast for you. I’m the one who needs to apologize.”
Naomi swallowed, unsure.
Ty cleared his throat. “I forgot you’re almost a year younger than me.” His face colored. “My mom and dad gave me hell for what happened, and I haven’t…I’ve never, with any other girl, I…”
Naomi dug her sandal into the grass. “Me neither. My mom was mad too. But now my parents are…” Her voice caught. This was big, bigger than she could handle alone, but telling Ty made it real and made it part of her. Forever.
“Your parents are what?” Ty’s voice was kind.
“They’re splitting up, and I don’t know what will happen.” There, she’d said it, and hearing the words wasn’t as bad as she’d thought.
Ty took one of her hands in his. “That’s bad. But you never know. It might be okay in the end.”
“How?” Naomi sniffed to keep back the tears. Nothing her mom had said the night before sounded like anything could be okay ever again. Especially since her dad was going off to make a whole new family with somebody else.
“I don’t know, but if you still love me, maybe I can help.” He squeezed her hand. “I’m like a poster kid for divorce.”
“Of course I still love you. But I live far away and my mom, after what happened…I’m lucky she said I can even be friends with you.” Naomi stopped. It wasn’t only her mom. It was Ty’s dad and whatever was between him and Auntie Charlotte, which nobody talked about but was still there, as large as life. She shivered.
“You’re cold. Take my sweatshirt.” Ty let go of her hand to pull the shirt over his head and loop it around her shoulders. “You can keep it.”
“Thanks.” Even though she wasn’t cold, the shirt smelled of him and was warm and comforting like him.
Ty gave her an easy grin. “
As far as our folks have to know, we’re friends, but that won’t change how I feel about you.”
“Me neither. How I feel about you.” With her world turned upside down, she needed all the friends she could get, but what she felt for Ty was more than friendship. It was also new and scary, though.
“You might come back to Firefly Lake.”
“Mom says we won’t.” And when her mom made up her mind, she never changed it. Although last night Naomi had sensed something different. Maybe her mom wasn’t the person she’d always thought she was.
“Your auntie Charlotte might come back.” Ty glanced toward the inn. “I think she and my dad could be good together. Unless it’s to do with his business, though, Dad never sees what’s right in front of him.”
“You think he and Auntie Charlotte might…like, you know?” When she’d passed Auntie Charlotte’s bedroom door last night, she’d heard muffled sobs.
“Don’t know.” Ty shook his head. “I told Dad about the sports medicine thing, and he was more okay with it than I thought.” His blue eyes softened into a look so tender Naomi caught her breath. “I’d never have been able to tell him if I hadn’t talked to you. You helped me see I shouldn’t give up on my dream.”
“I did?” Most of the time she had no idea who she was and what she wanted, let alone helping anyone else figure that stuff out.
“You did.” Ty moved in close. “I’ll see you again someday. I’m sure of it. But until then…” He dipped his head and kissed her. His lips were firm and warm, and his body was big and solid against hers.
Naomi wrapped her arms around him and kissed him back to memorize the feel of him.
All too soon, he stepped away. “We’re supposed to be friends, remember? Besides, your aunt’s watching.”
Naomi gave him a shaky smile. “FaceTime you?”
“As soon as you get to Montreal. Text me before then okay?”
“Okay.” Her voice wobbled, and Ty touched her lips, gentle and all too brief.