Whenever she spoke about Pat, it always struck me just how visible it was that she was so in love with him.
And the same was true of Pat. I might not know him as well as I knew Charlotte, but well enough to see how very much in love he was. Charlotte had already said she’d been able to see how in love I’d been with Sam. It made me wonder whether I’d looked similarly in love with Louis.
It hadn’t felt the same. But part of me didn’t want to know the truth. What good would it do to confirm that my feelings for Sam had been stronger than any feelings since we’d broken up?
My relationship with Sam had ended for a reason. For lots of reasons! None of which had changed in the years since. If anything, I felt even less willing to move around the continent at random. Living in Lunengrove made me happy, with my friends and my nephew so close by.
And Sam could hardly move back. The nearest professional hockey team was hours away.
I sighed, looking up to catch Charlotte giving me a questioning look. “I was just imagining Pat making you a tiny shoebox-size doll’s house,” I lied. “I bet he would, if that was all he could afford.”
Luckily, Pat was in a position to make Charlotte an actual house. “Are you worried about having no input?” I asked. It would be something that worried me - but maybe there was just a greater need for control in my personality than in Charlotte’s.
“Not really.” She shrugged. “I have told him to ask you about things like carpets and curtains. Pat’s taste is okay, but I think he needs supervision,” she joked. “Apart from that, though, like the big things? Where the rooms are or where the bathroom is? That doesn’t bother me. Even the badly picked curtains wouldn’t bother me if I didn’t think it was a waste of money.”
Charlotte’s attitude was certainly flexible, which was for the best. If you were going to be gifted a house you’d never seen, it helped to be flexible. And she trusted Pat. And me! I would make sure to help Pat pick curtains Charlotte did like.
“It’s a lot of responsibility. For Pat, I mean.” My more practical streak made me feel that making decisions about a house together would be more my style. But Charlotte liked surprises, so Pat clearly had the right idea as far as she was concerned.
Anyway, we weren’t here to talk about Pat - or about his brother! “So, how does the dress fit?” I asked. “Do you think you’ll be able to move in it?” Kate had told me that being able to move in your wedding dress was a lot more important than you might think.
As Charlotte and I turned our attention back to what we were actually here for, I did my best to let thoughts of Sam fade from the front of my mind. Wondering what a house we’d picked together would have been like was no use to anyone. We both had houses of our own now.
And with my slow cooker, mine was even full of the smell of good food when I got back to it. That was almost as good as having somebody to come home to.
Almost.
Chapter Seven
Sam
DECEMBER 19TH, 2006
Meeting Helena was definitely in the top five - maybe even the top three! - of everything that had happened this year and I’d only met her a bit more than a month ago. I hadn’t really dated anyone before; I didn’t know if that was what we were doing. But I had never connected with anyone the way I connected with Helena.
We hadn’t known each other long before Helena offered to help me with my English homework. Studying had never been something I was good at. More something I did so I could play hockey. Yet, Helena was making it fun. Kind of, anyway. Writing essays still sucked.
“I just don’t get it,” I whined. “How am I meant to know why Lennie and George want to own a little land and how that means anything about them being free?” Frankly, I had barely managed to get through Of Mice and Men, much less get it.
Reaching out to smooth the corner of the page we were studying, Helena’s fingers passed so close to mine that I could feel the movement of the air between us. It was a habit of hers, one I’d thought might mean I was making her nervous. Now, I was pretty sure it meant she was thinking about how to explain something.
Helena was clever. But unlike some people, she never used her intelligence to make me feel stupid. “Well, we know that George wants to protect Lennie, right?” I nodded. Even though Lennie was strong, he was vulnerable and George wanted to help keep him safe. I understood that. “Do you think that would be easier if they had a place that they owned?”
“Yeah,” I drew out slowly. That made sense. If you had somewhere to go that was yours, you could feel safe there. Hopefully, be safe there. When Helena put it like that, it was understandable. I glanced over at the page she had open like it would give me any answers. It wouldn’t, not when all the letters instantly swam together and swapped around.
Shaking my head, I turned back to Helena. “So he wants to keep Lennie safe? I get that.” She nodded, making me feel pleased that I’d understood. Still, that didn’t answer the thing about freedom. “And,” I began slowly. “It would make them feel... free? Because... oh. Because they wouldn’t have to pay rent and stuff?”
Helena’s smile was a hundred percent more enchanting than any book. She looked so proud of me, like understanding John Steinbeck was the greatest achievement she could imagine. Triumph pumped through me, making me feel almost as great as if I’d just won a hockey match. But possibly not quite.
“Yeah, exactly,” she enthused. “And because they’d be working for themselves. Whatever profit they made, George would be the one to decide how to spend it, he wouldn’t have to give any of it to the person who owned the land.”
That made sense, too. “You’ve done so well, Sam.” Helena’s fingers twitched, her hand stealing over mine until she could tuck her thumb against the inside of my palm.
Her touch felt like fire, but in the best possible way. I looked down at our hands, my heart pounding in my chest. Glancing back up at Helena, it was impossible not to smile. She was so fucking pretty and close enough for me to catch the soft smell of her shampoo. It was some sort of a fruit, maybe.
Without truly thinking about what I was doing, I leaned in closer. My lips found hers so easily that I was sure it was meant to be. She gave the lightest of noises but it didn’t sound like surprise. And from the way she kissed me back, I didn’t think it was.
At that moment, I knew that I wanted to keep kissing her forever.
But for now, I had to pull back. Heat spread over my cheeks, no doubt leaving a trail of blush behind. it was hard to mind. Not when Helena was still smiling at me.
Her cheeks glowed pink, making me hope that my blush looked even half as attractive! For several seconds, we just stared at each other, smiling into one another’s eyes. My heart slowly returned to its normal rhythm.
“Well.” Helena’s tongue peeked out to wet her lips. It was all I could do not to lean right back in. I didn’t want her to think that I was interrupting whatever it was that she was saying.
Except, she didn’t say anything. After a few more seconds, she laughed. “I’m not sure what to say,” she admitted. “Of Mice and Men has flown completely out of my head.”
That was perfectly fine with me!
I must have said it out loud - my brain barely catching up with my mouth - because Helena laughed. It had so quickly become my second favorite sound ever. Only beaten by the sound of a successful try on goal. And then followed by the sound of a great pass. It wasn’t a long list; Helena was the only thing on it that wasn’t hockey-related.
“Can I kiss you again?” I asked hopefully. Maybe I should have asked the first time, too, but Helena didn’t look like she had minded. In fact, she had kissed me back. That was obviously a good sign. While my face was on fire, all I could think about was kissing her again.
“Here? In the library?” Helena asked in a scandalized whisper. My lips parted, all ready to start apologizing. And then Helena laughed, her eyes sparkling with amusement. Helena’s were the bluest eyes I’d ever seen, and they looked more striking
than ever framed by her dark hair and her flushed pink cheeks.
Twining her fingers through mine, Helena gave them a squeeze. Instead of answering with words, she leaned in to close the distance between us. Her mouth pressed against mine, so small and so sweet-tasting. This time, she seemed to shift towards me, close enough that I could rest my free hand lightly against her cheek.
My stomach flipped with excitement as she kissed me. Kissing Helena felt almost as good as hockey. Maybe, in some ways, even better. But, perhaps, not in the library. Pulling back, our breaths caught in our throats. There was a pinkish redness to Helena’s lips, one left there by kissing me.
Fuck, she looked so nice.
“Will you be my girlfriend?”
The words stumbled out of me before I could stop them. I felt my cheeks get red all over again. But there was no way I’d take it back. Hopefully, Helena would say yes and then we could kiss more. Outside of the library.
“Yes, Sam.” Her words were laced with amusement, but that hardly mattered. Not when Helena was saying yes to being my girlfriend! My heart thundered against my ribs, just like it did when I heard the puck swish into our opponent’s net.
My expression must’ve looked every bit as excited as I felt, because Helena laughed. “Were you worried I’d say ‘no’, after I kissed you over your English essay?” she asked. And seriously, I hadn’t really worried. But I’d never had a girlfriend before, how was I supposed to know whether kissing was enough of a sign?
Helena gave my hand a shy squeeze. “Do you want to drive me home, boyfriend? I don’t think we’ll get much more work done today.”
Squeezing Helena’s hand back, I grinned. “I will definitely drive you home, girlfriend.” I winked. “Especially if it means we don’t have to do this essay anymore.” That wasn’t even the main reason. Just kind of a good one.
I had to give it to John Steinbeck, maybe Of Mice and Men wasn’t the worst thing to ever happen to me.
PRESENT DAY
“I know it’s going to be kind of weird, but please, Sam! I can’t get the time off work and we need the tiles tomorrow,” Pat whined on the phone. I refused to think of it as anything but whining. He’d called me to ask me to do him a favor - something, I pointed out, that was the theme of this summer.
Not that I minded! Except maybe I minded a little bit in this particular situation. “You said you’d been getting on okay,” he argued. “So I’m sure you and Helena can pick out perfectly good tiles.”
I actually agreed. Both that we could do that and that it would be weird.
What I tried not to focus on was the way my heart beat faster at the idea of spending time with Helena. That was not the right sort of attitude. This wasn’t happening. We weren’t happening.
“I told her you’ll pick her up from work,” Pat admitted, even though I hadn’t said I would go tile shopping in his place. But, of course, I would. I wanted my baby brother to be happy. Part of that involved finding the perfect tiles for his kitchen.
“Fine,” I sighed. It was possible to hear Pat’s smile through the phone.
“Thanks, man! I owe you one.”
Pat owed me more than just one, but it was hard to think that he owed me anything for this specifically. So that was how I ended up in the reception at Helena’s work. The receptionist recognized me immediately. By the time Helena came out to meet me, I was already signing autographs.
Giving her a somewhat bashful look, I smiled. “You got your best heels on for tile shopping?” I teased. Helena looked strikingly professional, her pencil skirt hugging her hips and ass just right. It was a look I’d never seen on her. There was something exciting about that.
I told the voice inside my head to pipe down.
The way she glanced down at her feet, like she hadn’t even realized what shoes she was wearing, was endearing, If this was how she dressed for work, it probably wasn’t as novel to her as it was to me. Which was a sad thought. If Helena and I hadn’t gone our separate ways, maybe I’d be as totally used to this as she was.
“I promise, I won’t slow us down,” she teased, raising an eyebrow as she surveyed the half-scrawled autograph in my hands. “But I guess you might. Does this happen a lot?”
It struck me that as novel as Helena’s work was to me, mine was just as unfamiliar to her. She hadn’t had years to get used to what it was like for me to be a Puma.
Finishing the autograph, I gave Jack, the receptionist, a grin as I handed the paper back. Leading Helena out of the building, somehow managing to resist the way my hand itched to press against her back as she walked through the door before me, I shrugged my shoulder slightly.
“It happens a lot in Lunengrove.” Which made sense since people here loved having an NHL player from their little town. Having grown up here, I totally understood it. “I mean, it happens in Salt Lake, too, but not like this.” People here were always so excited to see me. It was... nice. Weird, but nice.
Helena nodded, sliding into the front seat of my rental car. “About that…” She bit her lip, not quite meeting my eye as I settled beside her. “I have kind of a hockey-related favor to ask.”
Silence thickened between us as I waited for Helena to carry on. It was hard to imagine what kind of favor she would ask me. Let alone one that would make her this uncomfortable!
“My nephew, Ethan, he’s totally into hockey. He’s on the school team.” I’d known Kate and Brian had a kid, even though Helena and I had been broken up before Ethan was born, so I nodded. “I don’t know, I guess I was hoping you might find time to drop in on them. Ethan would be so excited.”
For a moment, I didn’t say anything. I expected there to be more. Dropping in on some kids playing hockey was hardly a difficult favor for me to fulfill! When Helena didn’t say anything else, it made me realize that really was everything she was asking of me.
“Yeah, of course!” I promised easily. “That’s no trouble. I’d love to see the school team anyway, spent many great years on it,” I joked. “And I’m doing my training on that ice. It’s... kind of nice to be back on it, actually.” Very different from the rink in Salt Lake. It gave me a good perspective on how far I’d come.
Once we got in my car, I shook my head. “That’s hardly asking much,” I pointed out. “You’re acting like you wanted a kidney or something and we both know we don’t share a blood type,” I joked.
We’d both found out our blood types when we were 18, donating blood for the first time. After that, we’d always joked that we weren’t a perfect match because we couldn’t give the other person an organ if they needed one.
Helena’s eyes widened, then she laughed, the sound so familiar that for a moment I felt like we were teenagers again. In the rearview mirror, she met my gaze, shaking her head slightly.
“I know it’s not a big thing,” she assured me. “But… well, you know what my family were like to you.” Helena’s parents had never been rude exactly, but they’d made it pretty clear they saw me as a distraction.
Especially when Helena helped tutor me. They were always pressuring her to put her own studies first, since I could hardly help her get into a good university.
“Ethan’s different, though,” Helena rushed to assure me. “And Kate does her best with him. She’s tried to get into hockey since he showed an interest in it.”
Helena’s family had always seen sport as something other people did. For them, it had been all about academics. It was what had made me so unpopular. I couldn’t blame them, school had been tough for me. Since then, I recognized that it wasn’t necessarily because I was stupid. But without Helena’s help, I doubted I would have ever known that.
“It’s nice that she’s trying,” I commented. “And you know hockey, at least,” I added with a small smile as we drove out of the parking lot. Helena had learned hockey for me, but I was sure she remembered the rules well. She would definitely have refreshed her knowledge for Ethan.
Helena had always been very good when it came to ma
king sure other people felt appreciated. “I’ll meet the school team,” I promised. “I’ll even say it was you who suggested it, so you get all the best aunt kudos.”
Helena grinned, her whole body seeming to relax. She must’ve dreaded having to ask me. I would have wondered why she bothered, but I knew her well enough to guess. She might not have felt comfortable asking me for a favor, but she would’ve overcome that for her nephew. Whatever went on between Helena and her sister, none of it was his fault.
“Thank you, Sam,” she said softly. “I don’t think you understand quite how many aunt points I’m going to get for this!” Her eyes twinkled and I had to fight to keep my attention on the road.
Luckily, the tile place wasn’t far. And now that she’d asked me her favor, Helena seemed much more up for casual conversation. “What’s the weirdest thing about being back for so long?” she asked.
And then, startling a laugh out of me, she asked, “Is it going tile shopping with your ex?”
“Yeah,” I answered without missing a beat. “It is definitely going tile shopping with my ex.” There was no reason to lie. Helena knew this was weird. It was interesting to wonder whether we’d even see each other if it wasn’t for my brother marrying her best friend. A thought that gave me a sudden pang, low in my stomach.
We probably wouldn’t have. But I liked seeing Helena. Spending time with her had always felt good. Apparently, ten years couldn’t take that way.
I thought about what else was weird. “I’m not sure I’d describe the other things as weird,” I decided. “But maybe nice? I haven’t spent a lot of time in Lunengrove since starting to play for the NHL, you know?” And she did know. “So being at home with mom and dad is... interesting. Nice, but like, probably not something I want to do all the time.”
My parents were great, they were. But at 30, I felt too old to be living at home. Maybe even for the summer. I had thought about renting somewhere on my own; it wasn’t like I couldn’t afford it.
Home Matched (Salt Lake Pumas Book 4) Page 6