All She Wants

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All She Wants Page 19

by Larkin Rose


  But more than those traits, she missed their common denominator. Their love for nature and the instant attraction that had bound them both together.

  More important, she missed not knowing what could have come next for them. She shouldn’t wonder. At all. Marci was too unsteady. She wasn’t secure on her feet. Didn’t trust. Maybe she didn’t want to open up ever again. Maybe love wasn’t in her future.

  And why did Tessa care? She wasn’t looking for love either. God knew, she’d had enough of spreading her magic over marriages she felt were doomed from the beginning. Hated wasting her time for people who’d already done the rodeo once or twice before.

  So what if Marci didn’t want a forever after? So what if she wanted to fuck her way through the rest of her life? So what?

  But the so what was the part that nagged at Tessa the most.

  She cared about that so what.

  Dammit. She did.

  For the first time in her life, she cared about someone else’s desire to never feel love again. She wanted Marci to find that closure. She wanted her to see that she’d simply been with the wrong one the whole time. And that was okay.

  Fuck. It was. It was okay. Maybe it took more than once or twice or even three times for people to find their perfect fit. Their perfect person.

  Had she been blind all of these years? A hypocrite through every second wedding? A bitch with every third?

  God. She had. She was willing to tell Marci to dust off her knees and get back on the horse. Why wasn’t she willing to be happy for those who did just that? Who got back on the horse. Who went out and found happiness. Who believed they had found their person and went for it.

  And why was she suddenly coming to this realization?

  Because she missed sex?

  No. She couldn’t be that shallow. Sex was all around her. In every bar. Every nightclub. Hell, she could find sex online.

  So why couldn’t she shake this one? Why couldn’t she shake Marci? And how was she supposed to move on wondering what could have come next for them? Why was it a constant hum in her mind? That next step.

  That next step was love.

  Warmth spread over her as the word echoed in her mind.

  Yes. It was love.

  She had felt it all along.

  She’d been fooling herself from the second Marci accused her of cheating. Even earlier. When she’d scanned her surroundings in a room of flashing strobe lights and found Marci staring back at her. Then. She’d even felt it then.

  What an idiot she’d been. Thinking that what they had would end with the ringing of the contest bell. Thinking that win or lose, it meant their finale as well.

  It hadn’t meant that. It could have gone further. Could have reached further. Of that, she was sure.

  What they’d found in each other couldn’t have ended there. She was a fool to believe otherwise.

  In just a few short weeks, she’d tripped and fallen flat on her face in love. Yes. She’d done that. The unthinkable. The unimaginable. She’d done it. Fallen in love. That thing she didn’t believe possible for herself. Love. She’d felt love. Still felt it. That feeling was in every thought of Marci. Every memory. Every flash of their time spent together.

  It was love.

  And now it was all gone. In the blink of an eye, that glimpse of hope, that flutter of emotional attachment that she’d never experienced before, had vanished.

  Tessa would never get to know if Marci found her closure. If she found her answers. If she could ever open her heart again.

  It made her sad. For Marci, she’d like to know that she’d moved on and found happiness. That she’d gone after that dream. If her ride or die pushed her to grab it. If she helped her grab it.

  Marci deserved that. And Tessa wished only the best for her.

  But the fact remained. Marci was gone. She’d skipped out like a coward. She’d blamed the wrong people. And now she was gone.

  Maybe one day she’d run across Marci again.

  She’d ask her why. Why had she left. Why had she done it without saying good-bye.

  Maybe Tessa would get her own closure in the answer.

  Chapter Seventeen

  Tessa stared at the plate of food in front of her. A beautiful filet mignon and loaded baked potato that normally would have been devoured within minutes of the waitress setting the meal in front of her.

  Not this time. Her stomach was knotted tight, too tight to force food into the mix. The longer she stared, the more her stomach twisted.

  She was going to hurl if that phone didn’t hurry and ring.

  It had been two hours since the bride had stepped out from behind the covered gazebo to find a tropical world all around her.

  Her expression, that awed amazement, with those tears that followed, was what drove Tessa to bust down the walls of the box. Especially for those experiencing love and devotion and commitment for the very first time. Although a little eye opening had convinced her that she might have been wrong about that all along.

  But if that fucking phone didn’t hurry and ring to let her know if she had been hailed the winner, she was going to combust.

  Her crew was steady chattering among themselves, laughing out loud, having a great time, acting as though that phone call didn’t matter a bit.

  “I’m going to steal that phone if you don’t eat,” Monty said, drawing Tessa out of her deep thoughts.

  “Why haven’t they called?” Tessa pushed the plate away with a huff. “Wendy should have called by now. Something’s wrong. I can feel it.”

  “Stop it!” Seth blurted from across the table, his own steak half gone. “The phone isn’t going to ring because Wendy is going to walk through that door any second to announce to all of us that we won the damn thing!”

  “Hell yes!” The crew cheered and fisted their hands in the air then chanted, “Winners! Winners! Winners!”

  Loving affection spread all over Tessa and the tension loosened its hold. She was truly blessed with these incredible people. From her last-minute changes, to her over-the-top ideas, they had stuck by her side and just let the flow carry them. She was so thankful for them and knew the only way to repay them for their unwavering support was to get that damn phone call. From there, their futures were limitless. They would get incredible offers, win or lose, and could go anywhere they wanted. Knowing that made her so happy.

  The phone shrilled and the table went deathly quiet.

  Tessa looked over at Monty, all of a sudden unable to move.

  “Answer the damn thing!” Monty said.

  Tessa slowly picked up the phone and turned it over to see Wendy’s name in the ID box.

  Her heart stumbled. “It’s her!”

  Unable to sit with so much adrenaline pumping, Tessa hit the connect button, then she tapped the speaker button, and stood.

  “Hi, Wendy. I have you on speakerphone. The whole crew is here.”

  “Hi. Tessa.”

  Tessa sat back down with Wendy’s monotone voice.

  It was over. They had lost. She could read the answer in the sound of Wendy’s tone.

  She hadn’t been good enough. Had gone too far outside the box. Maybe not far enough outside of it.

  Whatever reason that made them fail, she only had herself to blame. The crew had followed her every command. Her every wish. Done exactly as she said. This was all her fault.

  Tessa shoved out of her chair again. “We’re on the edge of our seats, Wendy. Just say it.”

  Monty leaned toward the phone. “She speaks for herself. The rest of us are enjoying a delicious meal. Want to come join us?”

  Wendy giggled lightheartedly while Tessa gave Monty a death stare.

  “Maybe another time,” Wendy added.

  “I’m holding you to the date.” Monty leaned back before Tessa could knock her back.

  “Tell me, Wendy. I’m dying.” Tessa debated sitting again.

  Wendy took in a deep breath, and Tessa could hear chatter and movement throug
h the phone. People talking nearby. The unmistakable sound of cars passing by. A light breeze against the mic.

  “Before I give out the scores, I need to let you know that for this last leg of the race, we secretly added two people into the scoring process. One was picked from each of your delivery crews as well as a personal family member who would be close enough to oversee the entire transformation. In your case, Harley’s father was that secret person as well as the man who delivered and set up your heaters.”

  Seth smacked the table. “That would explain why her daddy followed us around all day. And here I thought he just adored my company.”

  Everyone gave a quick laugh but soon turned their attention back to the phone in Tessa’s grasp.

  There was more movement on the line. Another car. More people talking.

  “With those two people, the other team had a total score of seven hundred seventy-four points.”

  Tessa’s heart sank. That was a pretty hefty score. Far higher than she wanted. Than she expected. Each member of the team, all five of them, could collect a perfect score, which was unlikely, but would they get higher than that?

  Her heart stumbled, and she glanced down at Monty then slowly sank into the chair again.

  Tessa stood up again, unable to control herself, terrified the final answer would buckle her knees. “Okay.”

  “Your two extra scores, Harley’s dad and your delivery person, came to a total of one-hundred ninety-six.”

  “Awesome!” Hunter yelled.

  Everyone leaned in to fist-bump her while Tessa stood frozen, anxious for that final score, her stomach tied in knots once again. She was positive she could feel her face flushing and her ears ringing.

  “Your personal crew scored…”

  Tessa sank to the chair once again, terrified of the answer, terrified they had lost, more terrified that she was going to faint before Wendy revealed that score. Monty leaned into her as if she could feel Tessa’s tension. The room was so quiet. She could hear her own heart thundering against her ears.

  “Five hundred…”

  Tessa was holding her breath. Her lungs burned. Her head swam.

  Monty tightened her grip.

  “…ninety-three…”

  Joyous cheers erupted around her, and Tessa had to let the number sink in, trying to do the math in case their outburst was short-lived.

  Five hundred ninety-three plus one hundred ninety-four.

  “Stop doing the math! You won!” Monty yanked her out of the chair. “You won, Tess!”

  Tessa burst into happy tears.

  She dropped the phone on the table as Monty wrapped her in a hug. Before she knew it, the entire crew was draped over her, all hugging and crying and squealing.

  They’d done it. All of it. From the crazy friends that wrecked the lodge, to the insane boxer’s party in the middle, to this last perfect, extravagant wedding. They’d won the damn thing and their lives were going to drastically change because of their hard work.

  Everything about their worlds was going to spin out of control. They were going to move on to bigger and better things. They were going to be known all over the airwaves. Their hometowns would name a landmark after them.

  Of course, she was going a little too far with her wild imagination. They weren’t celebrities, after all. But right now, the sky felt like it had no limits. For any of them.

  Well, except for Tessa. Her future was still up in the air. Her change was still yet to be determined. She’d spent this entire contest, knowing this resort, this mountain, and this world, was where she was going to spend the rest of her life. Where she had dreamed of spending the rest of her life.

  Now, she had no clue. That decision, where to go, what options were available, was still unclear and that made her uneasy.

  She didn’t know what the future held for her. She’d worked so hard for this win, to be able to stay right where she was, and now she couldn’t. It wasn’t fair that everything had been yanked out from under her. It just wasn’t fair.

  But dammit, they had won! They had beaten seven other teams and were standing here now victorious. That meant everything. That paled in comparison to where she would end up. Where they all would end up. And she couldn’t be more excited no matter how confused about that future she was.

  Finally, everyone moved back to their chairs, wiping cheeks and sniffling, happily chatting and full of excitement.

  “We never doubted you for a second, Tessa!” Sally raised her glass of wine. “To Tessa. The fiercest leader and teacher and friend I could have ever hoped to work with. I am amazed at your talent. And your balls.”

  “Hear, hear!” Danny chimed in.

  Seth clinked his glass then stood. “And let’s not forget that she told off a two-hundred-pound drunk boxer with nothing more than a whisper.”

  “Hear, hear…” They all began to chime again.

  Monty jerked her glass back. “What the—wait! What boxer?”

  “Camille Jenkins!” Seth blurted. “Big, tough badass, wall of knockout trophies ’cause she knocks people the fuck out, Camille Jenkins!”

  Monty turned back to Tessa with a wide-eyed expression. “I don’t think I want to know.”

  Tessa laughed. “Good. Because I don’t want to retell it.”

  She lifted her glass to the center. “To all of you. The best crew I could have ever dreamed of having. Together, we kicked this thing in the ass!”

  Glasses clinked again and everyone cheered. Tessa only wished she knew where her story would end. What state would she wind up in? Would it be cold? Would there be snow? Would it be a beautiful resort like this one?

  Or maybe she’d wind up somewhere like home. Hot. Dry. Hot.

  She was so tired of the heat.

  Monty stood up so fast her chair slid several feet behind her.

  Tessa turned to look up at her and found her blank face staring at the doorway.

  Before she even looked, her heart knew. Before her eyes could see what would make Monty’s expression be ripped from a smile to a frown, her soul could feel.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Marci gave a tight nod as Monty stood to full height behind Tessa’s chair, her expression and posture indecisive as she stared across the room.

  She’d seen that particular look once before. In her very own bedroom. While Ashley had scrambled to cover her naked flesh.

  But not Monty. She’d simply watched Marci. Waited. Almost expecting a specific outcome.

  Thinking back, had she wanted Marci to have that reaction? Had she wanted a bloodshed conclusion? Had she wanted Marci to charge at her?

  It was a question Marci wasn’t ready to ask. Might not ever be ready to ask. That night had been the end of her marriage. The end to the life as she had known it for so many years. Simply put, that night had been the end. And Monty was a part of that.

  So no. She wasn’t ready to fist-bump or shake hands or even be her friend. But one fact remained. To be in Tessa’s life, if she would give Marci an undeserved second chance, Monty would be part of that world as well, and Marci was willing to figure out where they went from here.

  Tessa adored her little sister. Loved her unconditionally. No matter her faults, no matter how her actions drove Tessa insane, she would always be blood bonded.

  And Marci would have to accept that. Was ready to accept that.

  Tessa turned to look up at her sister, but Monty never took her eyes off of Marci.

  No doubt, Marci had left her no choice but to jump to the defense, to be on guard. She’d been a complete ass to Monty and Tessa. A ridiculous, non-trusting ass.

  So much for first time impressions with her family.

  She definitely had some amends to make.

  But right now, Monty wasn’t her concern. Tessa was.

  Her amends had to start there.

  Tessa slowly turned and locked Marci in her gaze. A smile threatened her lips and her eyes softened. Marci’s breath hung in her chest while Tessa slowly pushed awa
y from the table and stood. She was so beautiful with her tear-streaked face. Her eyes seemed greener than the last time she’d seen her.

  Raw images flashed through her mind. On her knees in the pond house, working for Tessa’s forgiveness. Their time behind the waterfall. In her bed. Her insides clenched tight while the Rolodex of images spun faster.

  And then Tessa’s expression morphed as if she suddenly remembered that she was mad at Marci. As if she finally recalled the fact that Marci had lost her mind and gone postal on her and her sister.

  Yes. She’d done that. The embarrassment might forever haunt her.

  Tessa’s lips thinned into an angry line, and she said something to Monty before she started across the room.

  Marci wanted to lift her chin in confidence. Fact was, she wasn’t confident of anything anymore. She didn’t deserve to lift her chin. If anything, she should hang her head for being such a complete idiot. For being so bruised. For taking it out on Tessa. For not trusting a woman who had never given Marci a reason not to.

  Instead, Marci stood her ground, kept her eyes focused on Tessa, determined to take the tongue-lashing. To take whatever Tessa dished out. And then to beg her, if needed.

  Tessa came to a stop directly in front of her. “What do you want, Marci?”

  “Can we talk?”

  “Talk?” Tessa shoved her hands on her hips and tilted her head back. “Don’t you think it’s a little too late for that?”

  It was all Marci could do not to pull Tessa forward and clamp their lips together. This little feisty woman had shown her that there was life on the other side of death. That her bright days could carry on no matter how dark they had been. That she wasn’t broken after all.

  Now she felt whole again with all of her baggage left in Arizona. All she wanted was another chance to begin again. With Tessa.

  “Is it?”

  “Don’t you dare deflect. You don’t get to do that,” Tessa spat through clenched teeth. “You walked away like a coward.”

  “I know.”

  Being so close to Marci was too much when all Tessa really wanted to do was kiss her. She wanted to circle her arms around her neck and lock her legs around that waist, then ride her until an orgasm made her forget that Marci had been a complete immature asshole.

 

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