Passion Sought

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Passion Sought Page 3

by C Zinnia


  The second floor was as well-kept as the first. “You have a beautiful home,” she said.

  “Thank you, but we don’t own it. We just run it.” He could sense her curiosity at the statement. Lee added hastily; “We put you at the end of the hall because we figured you’d like some extra privacy. We have other guests staying as well, but their rooms are closer to the bathroom. The door beside your room leads to a set of stairs that go to our rooms. If you ever need anything, don’t hesitate to come up and get us.” He paused. “There’s a man who came here with his girlfriend today. And he seems . . . There’s a lock on your bedroom door. I suggest you use it. If he gives you any issues, you need to tell me immediately so I can rectify the situation.”

  Mel knew it was the same man Daren warned her about. The fact that this was the second time she was notified about the man made her a little nervous. “Okay. Thank you,” she said.

  They reached the end of the hall. Lee opened an old white door to reveal a room with baby blue walls and a queen-sized bed. The bed had a white comforter with blue flowers on it. There was a desk in front of two bay windows that overlooked the backyard.

  “I hope this room is to your liking,” Lee said.

  “It’s perfect,” Mel responded. She placed her bags and guitar on the bed. She took the stand from Lee and set it up. She placed the keyboard on top of it.

  Lee impatiently waited by the door. He wanted to get away from Mel because she had really unnerved him. She caught him fidgeting. He was embarrassed and he stilled. “Dinner’s in an hour. Let me know if you need anything else.”

  “Thank you, Lee,” Mel said.

  “You’re welcome, Mel,” Lee replied. He quickly closed the door.

  “Way to creep him out, Mel,” she said to herself. “Could you be any weirder?” She sighed. Sometimes, her gifts annoyed her.

  Mel unpacked. She placed her laptop on the desk with her songbook beside it. Her clothes went in an antique dresser. Satisfied, she grabbed a washcloth that was hanging behind the door along with moisturizing cream that didn’t have added fragrances. She went to the bathroom.

  It was a quaint bathroom. It had tan and white tiles placed in an intricate pattern. The walls were painted tan on the bottom part of the wall with white and gold designs on the top half of the wall. It matched the gold sink fixtures perfectly. There was a large porcelain tub with large gold gnarled claws holding it up. There was a large showerhead added. The clear shower curtain was not what Mel wanted to see. She was relieved to find a sturdy lock on the bathroom door.

  She lightly scrubbed and rinsed her face over the porcelain sink. She looked at herself in the antique mirror. She looked exhausted. As she moisturized her face, she wondered why she felt defeated.

  Mel just graduated from college with a BS in biology. That was something to be proud of. She had been lucky enough to have parents who had paid for her college so she had no debt. Instead of feeling accomplished and grateful, she felt empty. She felt like a fraud. She didn’t know where she was going in life or how to get there.

  Mel wanted to write songs. Mel wanted to inspire and lift people up, but she knew she had to build herself up first. “You can’t give to others from an empty cup,” Mel murmured. She tried to replenish herself. She had watched all of the inspirational videos. She had read a multitude of motivational books. She had a vision board at home with pictures of all of her desires and goals on it. She did everything she could think of to become more congruent with her higher purpose.

  But still, she felt blocked and detached. She felt guilty for feeling the way she did. She knew she was blessed, especially compared to the majority of the population. Knowing this didn’t stop her feelings. In some ways, it made her feel worse.

  In all fairness, Mel didn’t have much faith in the universe to begin with. It was ironic that she had gifts when she wasn’t one who naturally placed faith into metaphysical forces.

  Mel had so little faith that she made a deal with herself and the universe. She was going to take two weeks to put all of her time into herself and her music. If she wrote at least one song, she would put her time and energy into music while having a part-time job to cover her bills. If she didn’t successfully write at least one song by the end of her stay, she was going to go back home and focus on getting a job as a lab technician fulltime. Mel knew she could focus on writing and singing on the side while still becoming financially stable on her own.

  Mel loved music and knew it would always be part of her, but she knew she could not and would not be in a situation where she could not take care of herself. She was too independent for that.

  Mel smiled at her reflection. “We’ll figure it out,” she told herself. “Everything always works out as it’s supposed to.” If she said it enough times, she figured one day she would believe it. “If I’m supposed to be a world-famous musician, I will be. If I’m supposed to be a part-time, locally known musician, I will be. As long as I have a happy life filled with love, I’ll be satisfied.”

  Mel went back to her room. As she entered the room, she heard voices coming from outside of the windows.

  Four people were playing badminton. The handsome male couple laughed and smiled at each other as they played. Mel could see their love from here. It was head-over-heels love and they felt no shame in showing it. The sight caused a pressing feeling in her heart, but she pushed it down.

  The other couple made Mel cringe. They were obviously the Hummer couple. While physically they were a good-looking couple, their energy made it more than blatant their relationship was volatile. It was almost inhuman. Mel had never encountered such a perilous relationship before, even between the most violent of couples. The fact that they hid it so well made Mel uneasy. What else could they be hiding? she thought.

  The woman was envious of the male couple. She wished her relationship had such love. She glared at the man beside her and he glared right back. He found the male couple revolting. What was worse was that he didn’t see the woman as any better than the male couple. He hated all of them, especially whenever the male couple managed to score a point.

  Mel was disappointed the man was here. He wasn’t someone Mel wanted to deal with on this trip. He was the type of person that was exhausting to be around. “Oh my God, maybe this isn’t a good idea,” she mumbled. Even from here, she could vaguely see his energy latching onto the others, feeding off of their life force. “Nothing better than a parasite.” She always had to be cautious around people like him or else he would drain her the way he did the others. The male couple was already taking turns yawning. They blamed it on doing so much that day, but Mel knew it was because of the man.

  Mel forgot about him for a moment as she watched the woman play. “Now that’s interesting,” she noted.

  The woman was holding back her skills, but Mel couldn’t understand why. She was purposely moving slower than she normally would. She missed the birdie a couple of times, even though she was able to track it perfectly with her eyes. She earned more glares from the man. Mel wondered; Is she losing to punish him?

  No, Mel immediately thought. She doesn’t want them to know her true abilities. The sight was sad. Mel had known many talented girls growing up who hid their capabilities because they were worried boys wouldn’t date them if they were smarter and/or more athletic than boys. Whatever happened to women empowerment? No one else noticed the woman downplaying her capabilities. Then again, no one expected a mere female to be a better athlete than a bunch of males. Mel saw it all. It was a gift that Mel had.

  Mel moved away from the window when she heard her phone ring. She answered it. “Hello, Grandma,” Mel said.

  “Hi sweetie,” Betty said lively. “I didn’t get you at a bad time, did I?”

  “No, I just got in,” Mel said.

  “Oh good! I have been praying you’d get there safely,” Betty said. “Are they nice there?”

  “Yes,” Mel said.

  “How about the guests?” Betty asked.

>   “I haven’t met them yet,” Mel answered.

  “Have you started writing songs yet?” Betty asked.

  “Grandma, I just got here!” Mel exclaimed.

  “Well, I don’t know how it works. For all I know, you started writing as soon as you started your trip. You could have been driving with your feet while you wrote the whole way over there,” she teased. They both laughed. “Do you feel inspired?”

  “Almost,” Mel said. “It’s beautiful here. I wish you could see all of the colors across the mountains. Hopefully, the music will flow out of me soon.”

  “It will, Mel,” Betty said. “And you’ll be back here singing them to me. I’ll try to clap to the beat, but I may get a little lost.”

  Mel smiled. She really loved her grandmother. “Sounds like a good plan,” Mel said. She didn’t know where she would have ended up if she didn’t have her grandmother in her life. “I love you.” Mel’s voice cracked slightly. A single tear slid down her cheek.

  “Oh, honey, I love you too. And I’m sorry you’re going through this, but it’ll get easier with time. But you need to mourn. It’s normal to grieve,” she said.

  “I don’t feel like I deserve to,” she said.

  “Of course, you do! He was your father. Whatever your problems you had you need to come to terms with and forgive everyone for them. Both him and yourself,” she said. “I wasn’t able to forgive my mother for our indifferences until I was in my thirties and I wish I had been able to do it sooner. The sooner you are able to make peace with your relationship with your parents, the better.”

  Mel was able to compose herself. “Thanks for the advice, Grandma,” she said without her voice breaking.

  “Well, I’ll let you get to it. I just wanted to see how you were doing and tell you that I love you,” she said. “And make sure to take plenty of pictures for me. I know your fancy phone can do those sorts of things.”

  Mel laughed. “I will. I love you too. Bye,” she said. She ended the call. She took a picture of the view from her window. The mountains stood high above the trees with their array of green and autumn colors. Mel took a moment to savor the sight. She placed her phone on the desk.

  Her grandma had been the only person supportive of her going to the country for two weeks. “You deserve to celebrate graduating college however you choose and don’t you let anyone convince you otherwise,” she told Mel. “They’ll all get over it. This is your life and you have to live it for yourself. You don’t want to look back and have regrets. Lord knows I’m blessed enough that I don’t.”

  I hope I’m blessed with the kind of love Grandma and Grandpa had, Mel thought.

  Doubt it, another part of her thought.

  “Shush,” Mel said to the doubting part of her mind. “We are going to be positive. It is possible to have a happy, healthy relationship. If Grandma and Grandpa could find love, so can I.”

  Mel picked up her guitar and tuned it. She loved the way the strings felt beneath her fingertips. She strummed a few cords. She paused. She didn’t know what she was waiting for exactly. Whatever it was, it didn’t come.

  She sighed.

  Mel ignored the people below as she looked outside to the sky. Her fingers moved across the guitar strings as she said; “Okay, Universe, I’m here. Maybe you could help me out a little?”

  Chapter 3

  Mel’s fingers danced across the neck of the guitar, effortlessly finding the frets that created chords to reveal a famous rock ballad. Her eyes were closed as she savored the feeling the notes awakened in her heart. The music made her feel alive and connected to life.

  She didn’t sing the lyrics because she didn’t feel comfortable enough with the possibility that someone may hear her. Someday I will be okay with people hearing me sing, she thought.

  Her thoughts dissipated as she put her soul back into playing the song. She immediately transitioned into another famous ballad. She lost track of time as she immersed herself in the music. When she finished the song, she felt better. Now all I have to do is write a song that makes me feel like that, she thought.

  Fat chance, a part of her mind whispered. You’ll never write a great song.

  Hush, she thought.

  Mel’s stomach growled loudly for the fifth time in a row. “All right,” she told her stomach. “I’ll feed you.” She carefully put away her guitar. While she had yet to write any chords or lyrics, Mel enjoyed playing her instrument. She hadn’t had much of an opportunity during her last semester at school, so it was nice to bond with her guitar again. Mel walked towards the door and paused.

  Before Mel could leave the room, she felt something pull her to the window. She slowly walked to the window. She looked out again. She admired the changing colors of the sky as the sun began to set. There were blues, pinks, oranges, and yellows streaming across the sky. They seemed to make the cumulus clouds around them glow with fullness. Back home, she never took time to appreciate the beauty around her. She was normally focused on an assignment due in school or studying for a test or going to work. This slow pace was a nice change. She felt like she could absorb more of life.

  Mel grabbed her phone and quickly snapped a picture of the sunset to show her grandmother later. She realized it wasn’t the landscape pulling her, so she began searching for the source.

  The couples had already left their game of badminton to go inside, but someone was out there in the woods. Mel could sense there were two people. One of them was Daren. The other person, she was unfamiliar with, but she liked the way their energy felt. It felt vibrant and made Mel feel anxious, overwhelmed, and giddy all at once. It had a similar feral undertone like Daren. Mel cracked open the window, hoping it would help her pinpoint the source. The smell of the woods rushed in through the window along with the chill of the evening air.

  She heard twigs snap and automatically stuck her head out of the window to try to locate the source. She saw Daren emerge from the woods, but the person with him remained hidden. He was talking to someone Mel couldn’t see. She craned and twisted her neck, but she still couldn’t figure out who it was.

  Daren turned away from the woods. Mel ducked back inside. The last thing she wanted to do was get caught hanging out of the window. She closed the window, taking advantage of the moment to look out. Daren was walking towards the house. Much to her dismay, no one followed him in. She felt the energy move away from the B&B and deeper into the woods. It reached a point where she couldn’t sense it anymore. It made her feel like she lost something dear to her heart.

  Mel’s stomach growled again, drawing her attention from the window. It was nearly time for dinner. “Well, waiting here won’t bring the energy back,” she said. “Hopefully, I’ll meet the person at some point during my stay.” While Mel hoped it would be the case, she highly doubted it. Her luck wasn’t great, especially with relationships.

  Mel came out of the bedroom to find the hallway empty. She turned around and closed the bedroom door. She heard a door open and close. She knew who was behind her. The presence was unpleasant and made her want to take a shower as the foul energy tried to latch onto her.

  Mel turned around to find a man standing down the hall, watching her. It was the man of the Hummer couple. To someone who wasn’t energetically sensitive, he was handsome. He had short blonde hair, sun-kissed skin, broad shoulders, and bright blue eyes. But his looks couldn’t take away from the abhorrent vibe Mel was getting from him. He smiled at her in a way that was charming to others, but she could see and feel the predatory undertones.

  “Hello, I’m Bill,” he said as he offered his hand. “You must have just gotten here.”

  When latching onto her aura didn’t work, he tried to energetically overpower her. It was a technique a person would do to try to get their target to submit to their will. Bill’s energy surrounded Mel’s and tried to push through her barriers. Mel wasn’t surprised Bill knew how to use his energy this way. Most domineering people used their energy in a similar manner without realizing i
t. For a novice, the pressure would have easily been overwhelming and they would have quickly become submissive. For Mel, she ignored the pressure effortlessly and strengthened her energetic walls. It was like she was in a protective bubble that his negative energy couldn’t reach.

  People acknowledged that the majority of a conversation was made without words, but few realized how much of a conversation was from energies interacting. Bill was strong enough that he could manipulate people to do what he wanted while maintaining fake pleasantries. Most people wouldn’t even realize that Bill forced them to bend to his will. They wouldn’t have been able to comprehend and acknowledge that someone could have so much power. They would not have been able to admit someone could manipulate them without them being aware of it. Those sorts of tactics didn’t work on Mel because she had practiced building protective barriers since she could remember. She was lucky enough to intuitively know ways to protect herself from others.

  “Pretty much,” Mel answered. She didn’t offer her name or any other information. The less Bill knew the better. She ignored his outstretched hand and gave him a short nod of acknowledgement.

  Bill frowned and tripled his intensity. He wanted her to be in awe of his presence. He wanted it so badly she could almost see him wanting her to fall to her knees before him because of his greatness.

  Mel caught herself from laughing out loud. If she had been a beginner concerning energetic walls, Bill would have destroyed them by now.

  Oh my God, it doesn’t seem like he’s unaware of his actions, she thought. Most parasites subconsciously lost interest in her company because they couldn’t feed off of her aura. He was not reacting like most parasites. He was viewing her as a challenge. He felt he could eventually subdue her. This was not good because she just placed a bull’s eye on her back. No, I didn’t place the bull’s eye. He did. I can’t control his actions no more than he can control mine.

 

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